Teacher gave out candy and certificates...

[Mermaid02]

... my son who is in fourth grade told me that Monday his teacher gave out Crunch Bars and certificates to the kids who made honor roll and also to those who had perfect attendance. First of all, I'm not allowed to put candy in his lunch box so what's up with that? Second, I think perfect attendance awards should be outlawed (not really, but KWIM?) at some point during the year, a kid ought to stay home and not spread whatever he/she has. Third- my son has a disability and no matter how hard he tries, he will most likely NEVER make honor roll. You can't tell me that she couldn't think of SOMETHING to award each child in the room. My son said he started to cry when he received nothing.

I feel like making cupcakes for his birthday and only making enough for the kids who are nice to him. Of course I wouldn't do that, but I don't see it as any different than what she did.

Life isn't fair, it's oh so true.

 

[SDFgirl]

I would never do that, as a teacher. I have kids who try their hardest and still don't make honor roll. Some just aren't as academically gifted as others. I wouldn't dream of leaving them out like that.

I also would feel guilty giving out whole candy bars. Occasionally I'll give out a small treat (like a Starburst), but a whole candy bar? I just would feel bad about that, when childhood obesity is already such a problem.

To each his own, I guess. I'm sorry your son felt left out.

 

[kristen821]

Wow I'm sorry this happened to your son. There is no reason for that. She should have came up with some way to give everyone a treat. (i.e. good behavior, turns in homework,) I am sure she could have found something positive about every kid.

 

[teacups]

Funny... at our school it's almost the opposite. They have award assemblies monthly and they honor the kids who have been struggling in some way, either academically or behaviorally... but not the kids who are working hard to get good grades, or the kids who can get good grades wtihout even thinking about it. I often wonder, why is it that the smart, talented, self controlled kids get nothing but the expectation to keep doing it. I make sure that I do my own reward thing at home for my kids. But, I can totally feel for your guy. That really had to hurt. Are you going to talk to the teacher and get her side of the story? There could be something more to this...

 

[WishingOnAStar]

Our school has an honors assembly every quarter and awards the children who made honor roll. I don't have a problem with that. If a child works hard and makes honor roll, why shouldn't they be rewarded? (FWIW- my oldest dd ALWAYS misses by one class grade.)

 

[MushyMushy]

You should speak up.

Although, are you sure it was "from" the teacher? Sometimes it's the administrators who do that. At the middle school where I student taught, they would bring this stuff for the teacher to hand out, like candy bars for certain things -- attendance was one, grades, and behavior. You could tell that the kids who didn't get any candy were trying to play it off like they didn't care, but they did.

I feel your pain. My kids are always left out of stuff like that too. I think for kids like that, it can breed resentment and even more indifference.

 

[kydisneyfans]

Our son's teacher will give treats to those who score above average on statewide tests and advanced reading tests. It is not just given to the "upper" students in the class. He knows that if he does not do well, he won't receive the treat. It just makes him work a little more to achieve the goal. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I do agree with a poster above that perfect attendance awards should be abolished, and "good" attendance awards be put in place. If a child misses a day with a DR excuse, it actually was better for those surrounding the child that he stayed home that day, then to be sent to school sick.

 

[Allison]

Our school has an honors assembly every quarter and awards the children who made honor roll. I don't have a problem with that. If a child works hard and makes honor roll, why shouldn't they be rewarded? (FWIW- my oldest dd ALWAYS misses by one class grade.)

I agree. Our school also gives out certificates for perfect attendance. They also have a kids of character assembly each month where one child from each class is given an award based on the character they are honoring for the month-honesty, respect, etc.

The classroom wasn't the best place to distribute the awards and I don't agree with giving out candy but I think it is good the kids are recognized.

 

[MushyMushy]

Our school has an honors assembly every quarter and awards the children who made honor roll. I don't have a problem with that. If a child works hard and makes honor roll, why shouldn't they be rewarded? (FWIW- my oldest dd ALWAYS misses by one class grade.)

Does your DD always miss because she can't do it, or because it's her own fault? It's hard for parents who have kids with disabilities watch them get disappointed time after time over things beyond their control.

Like I mentioned in my previous post about the middle school -- the teacher who came to hand out the candy, was kind of waving it in some of the kids faces saying, "See if you get perfect attendance, you would have one too." I was a little upset when she told one boy that he needed to come to school when he's not feeling well.

I understand that, with NCLB, these schools are really under the gun with attendance, but don't take it out on the kids! They have no control over whether they can stay home or not. At least mine don't. If they're sick, I'm the final word on whether they go to school -- not the school!

 

[momof3disneyholics]

I hate the perfect attendance awards too. My oldest son got it 2 years ago in first grade, and he was doing good this year, but then I had car trouble and couldn't get him to school one day this year. It really irks me that he will be "punished" for something he had no control over. My twins catch every cold that comes around, so there is no way they would ever get it. I just don't feel like sending my kids to school when they are puking everywhere and have a fever, KWIM?

 

[yo-ho-yo-ho]

Don't see a problem in that, well done those kids

 

[Pop Daddy]

I think its alright to reward kids for stuff, however I do feel your son has a real good mom , do somthing to let him no how proud you are of him.

 

[cocodog]

I agree about the perfect attendance. We had a very sick child show up at school this week-- when questioned, she said that her mother knew she was sick, but to go to school so as not to mess up her perfect attendance record!
She then proceeded to infect everyone else.

 

[cocodog]

I agree about the perfect attendance. We had a very sick child show up at school this week-- when questioned, she said that her mother knew she was sick, but to go to school so as not to mess up her perfect attendance record!
She then proceeded to infect everyone else.

 

[Allison]

As I said, we do have perfect attendance awards and I think they are fine. But, it certainly doesn't enter my head if my kids are sick that I should think about the award. My kids don't give it a second thought either. Sometimes they get them, sometimes they don't. It's not a punishment if they don't. I'm surprised people think about it this much and some actually send their kids sick to school because of it.

But just because another child is rewarded doesn't mean the other is being punished. There is a difference. I don't support the idea that kids shouldn't be recognized for their achievements because others didn't achieve the same thing.

 

[kirbsam]

i dont have a big problem with any of the issues from the op. it is too bad your child felt bad, but you yourself said, it is likely he will never make it. you didnt say, he never would. so maybe this is just the bump he needs.

 

[WishingOnAStar]

Does your DD always miss because she can't do it, or because it's her own fault? It's hard for parents who have kids with disabilities watch them get disappointed time after time over things beyond their control.


I understand that, with NCLB, these schools are really under the gun with attendance, but don't take it out on the kids! They have no control over whether they can stay home or not. At least mine don't. If they're sick, I'm the final word on whether they go to school -- not the school!

My dd misses most of the time because she tries really hard most of the quarter, but for a week or 2 (usually mid-quarter) she will be in this pattern where she doesn't want to study, doesn't want to take the time to be sure her answers are correct on homework, will hand in stuff she decides is "good enough". Then she will spend the rest of the time trying to make it up. She usually only misses that one grade by 1 or 2 points. There are no disabilities, so I can't begin to imagine that frustration. But, are you saying there should be no awards for kids who have achieved honor roll status?

As for attendance, I am totally with you on that. As a matter of fact, our school just did away with it for this year. I have a HUGE problem with kids coming to school sick just to get that award. (Plus, I was scarred by my childhood, when my parents pulled us out of school every year during the ENTIRE month of October to go to Disney and other places. I could NEVER earn that award! I always thought I was deprived! LOL)

 

[JunieJay]

I think awards are fine for perfect attendance and honor roll. Those kids should be rewarded. I also think its appropriate to give an award to most improved student. My kids often don't get grades good enough for an award, but that is life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

 

[MushyMushy]

My dd misses most of the time because she tries really hard most of the quarter, but for a week or 2 (usually mid-quarter) she will be in this pattern where she doesn't want to study, doesn't want to take the time to be sure her answers are correct on homework, will hand in stuff she decides is "good enough". Then she will spend the rest of the time trying to make it up. She usually only misses that one grade by 1 or 2 points. There are no disabilities, so I can't begin to imagine that frustration. But, are you saying there should be no awards for kids who have achieved honor roll status?

As for attendance, I am totally with you on that. As a matter of fact, our school just did away with it for this year. I have a HUGE problem with kids coming to school sick just to get that award. (Plus, I was scarred by my childhood, when my parents pulled us out of school every year during the ENTIRE month of October to go to Disney and other places. I could NEVER earn that award! I always thought I was deprived! LOL)

No, I just think it should be handled differently, that's all. When I was a kid, there wasn't this big pomp and circumstance to it -- yet, we were still proud of our accomplishments! I can't remember exactly, but we got some kind of certificate with our report cards, plus maybe a gift certificate to McDonald's or something. Not sure what all. But if a kid didn't get one, nobody really knew because it was IN the envelope, and that kid could save face.

You poor thing, having to go to Disney for a month every year. What on earth were your parents thinking???

And why didn't they adopt me? We could have been sisters!

 

[Disney Doll]

Perefct attendance awards are stupid, for the reasons already stated.

Rewarding a child because they do well in school is not. We have to get out of the mentality that every child deserves every award. They don't and it teaches them to handle disappointment when they don't get an award.

I didn't always make the honor roll. So I tried harder for next time. I didn't make every sports team I tried out for. So I became the team manager/scorekeeper. I didn't get asked by every guy I liked. But I did get asked out by guys who I realized were great guys too because I gave them the chance. I didn't get the part in the school play I tried out for. So I did props and costumes. I didn't get every job I interviewed for. But I have a job I enjoy.

I am not in therapy. I am not a serial killer. I learned to handle disappointment.

There is always going to be someone who is prettier, smarter, more athletic, more talented in some way, than you. The sooner kids learn to deal with that, the better off they will be. Teach your child to love their gifts and not to be jealous about what others have.