Taking Someone else's Kids/Crazy Situation

[nikkistevej]

OK, this is a different kind of question, I was just wondering if anyone has had any experience. My inlaws are taking the whole family(DH, me, DD, my SIL's and their kids) Now it's a weird/crazy situation BUT my inlaws have full custody of one of my SIL's 2 kids, she will also be going, but both the kids fathers are not in the picture(one in jail, the other around BUT not allowed to be around the kid- he's worse than the one in jail), will they need notarized papers or something saying they can take the kids out of the country, even though their mom is there? They would not be able to get papers signed from the fathers that they can do it. I'm sure I could call DCL, just wanted to know if anyone has any experience with this kind of stuff? Or am I the only one with crazy peeps? LOL
Thanks for any help.

 

[MousseauMob]

It depends on the custody terms. I have sole legal and sole physical custody. I travel with a certified judge signed copy and no absent parent form is needed because its "sole custody". Other custody terms can need it. Having said that, I've never been asked to show it in 10 years. Not even on the Canadian border where they asked about "father", but didn't ask to see papers. I think it may also help that I kept the same last name as the kids.

 

[nikkistevej]

It depends on the custody terms. I have sole legal and sole physical custody. I travel with a certified judge signed copy and no absent parent form is needed because its "sole custody". Other custody terms can need it. Having said that, I've never been asked to show it in 10 years. Not even on the Canadian border where they asked about "father", but didn't ask to see papers. I think it may also help that I kept the same last name as the kids.

Thanks so much for your input! I will need to talk to the inlaws about all this. Of course, since my SIL lives with them also(I will have to bring it up when she is not around- she has issues with them having custody- but she should have thought about that before she was "going through" her problems), just isn't allowed custody of them, again a crazy situation. The cruise isn't until August, so we have some time, I just want to make them aware of all this way ahead of time. It's a tricky situation, one that I tread lightly around, I am an inlaw(even though it's been 21 years) don't want to step on toes. Both of the kids have different last name then their mom, and the inlaws- so that may be a red flag in all this. ugh

 

[Maggie'sMom]

It would be best if your in-laws travel with the documents granting them sole custody. US Customs and Border Control highly recommends either a signed and notarized letter from the parent not traveling or paperwork showing the person traveling with the child has sole custody. But it isn't required.

You don't mention which cruise you and your family will be on. If it's a Bahamas or Caribbean cruise, there's a good chance your in-laws won't even be asked for documentation. If your family happens to be going on an Alaskan cruise, you will need the paperwork because Canada is quite strict about not allowing children to cross their borders without either both parents present, a signed and notarized letter from the absent parent granting permission, or paperwork showing the person traveling with the child has sole custody.

I'd guess your in-laws already have sufficient documentation (court documents) for the one child they have full custody of. The documentation for the second child might be a little trickier. Does your SIL have any court documents granting her sole custody of that child? Is that the child whose father is in jail? Your in-laws and SIL should look into what documents than can obtain for the second child proving sole custody.

 

[cedricandsophie]

We often take our grand kids both of whom live with mom. We always have an authorization form to take them. ...the one disney sends..plus a medical authorization form. Sometimes the mom comes, mostly not. We have never had even a question about it. But the kids have passports and I think they might have needed dads signature for that. I can't remember. We have flown in and out of a lot of foreign countries with them without incident. When our grand son was very young and we went through security at airport he got asked a couple of times who I was. Without prompting hecsaid Grandma and the guard just nodded and thst was it. I'm not saying problems couldn't arise but it never has for us

 

[lanejudy]

What is your itinerary? Cruises that require a Passport will need either the father's signature on the Passport application or a notarized form indicating why he isn't available. If either of those options might be difficult to obtain, I suggest they start working on it now, including their lawyer if appropriate.

Otherwise, it is strongly recommended to travel with a notarized letter from the "absent" parent though not necessarily a requirement. It may not be requested, but if it is requested having one ready can save a lot of hassle or delay. As mentioned, if the grandparents have been granted sole custody, they just need to bring a copy of that. I'd make sure they start now working on getting proper documentation for both children, regardless. Time flies and they don't want to wait until the last minute to realize they can't find someone's birth certificate.

Enjoy your cruise!

 

[nikkistevej]

Thanks so much for all your all's input. We are doing a 4 night Bahamas cruise. The one(nephew 15) who's father is in jail(he would sign anything required), and my niece is 6. Her father would not sign off for a passport or anything(he is a jerk, just horrible- and technically still with my SIL- a long story). I know they have paperwork for custody of both kids from State of Maryland. So will bring that, and I may call cruise lines too, just to be on the safe side.

 

[lanejudy]

I may call cruise lines too, just to be on the safe side

Don't be surprised if the cruise line only mentions the form for minors traveling without a parent/guardian and telling you it won't apply to your situation. As far as the ship is concerned, that's all they want. Customs and Immigration is the one they'd have to deal with that might cause concern, so you want to familiarize yourself with those requirements. But again, if your IL's have been granted sole custody of the children, that paperwork should suffice. They might want to check with their lawyer if they are uncertain.

Enjoy your cruise!

 

[Expatriat]

I'm sure I could call DCL >>

And that is what you should do, above all else! There has been some excellent advice in some posts here, but the bottom line is to know and meet DCL's requirements and then lean to the "better prepared just in case" side. And even though the cruise is not until August, that will be here before you know it. I'd suggest calling DCL today!

 

[nikkistevej]

I am going to call them, and also check with immigration and all. Just to make sure. Thanks again for everyone's advice.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

Honestly, unless you tell DCL, they won't know it is a crazy custody situation. Since the mom is on both of the birth certificates (and that is what these kids will be traveling on), they probably won't bat an eye or ask anything further. I would probably bring documentation that is handy, but I wouldn't stress about getting additional signatures unless DCL says it is needed.

 

[bumbershoot]

The phone rep is not an authority.

This is hardly a crazy situation FWIW. It's very common. At my Ymca I have at least three friends who are grandmas with full custody of grandkids. One adopted her granddaughter. The baby went home from the hospital with grandma, in official foster care. Now there is a relationship with the bio-mom but my friend has ALL legal rights.

The grandparents here have full custody. That's where it ends. No need for dad to do anything. No need for mom to do anything. They have legal documentation of full custody.

And that's the end for the passport, too. If you read the page for minors' passports, it starts with both parents, then talks about a notarized form for absent parent, and it's easy to stop there, but keep reading. The state department isn't new to this and they have all sorts of things beyond that. In this situation the ones with full custody show that paperwork and that will get the kids the passports. As long as it's in the legal paperwork that the parents have no say, they have no say.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Thanks so much for all your all's input. We are doing a 4 night Bahamas cruise. The one(nephew 15) who's father is in jail(he would sign anything required), and my niece is 6. Her father would not sign off for a passport or anything(he is a jerk, just horrible- and technically still with my SIL- a long story). I know they have paperwork for custody of both kids from State of Maryland. So will bring that, and I may call cruise lines too, just to be on the safe side.

Just bring the custody paperwork since they have it for both kids. As bumbershoot mentioned, the phone rep at DCL isn't an authority. Unfortunately, they sometimes give incomplete or inaccurate information. The best source is US Customs and Border Protection. Here's a link to their information on the subject:
https://help.cbp.gov/app/answers/detail/a_id/268/kw/single parent travel

 

[nikkistevej]

Thanks you all, sounds like them basically bringing the court documents are going to work, well along with their birth certificates.

 

[MousseauMob]

Thanks you all, sounds like them basically bringing the court documents are going to work, well along with their birth certificates.

Adding a caveat, when I was reading up on this previously "sole" and "full" did not mean the same thing in legal terms, and physical custody and legal custody are also different from each other. It's legal custody that governs the ability to take a child out of the country or obtain a passport and "sole" means no other person's permission/approval is needed. Physical custody just means they live with the person. Additionally, I had to have a copy certified (signed by judge) as authentic which is like notarized but for court documents. The only time I have needed it was in the passport process, but it still travels with us just in case.

I hope everything works out and you all have a wonderful cruise!

 

[cijay]

OK, this is a different kind of question, I was just wondering if anyone has had any experience. My inlaws are taking the whole family(DH, me, DD, my SIL's and their kids) Now it's a weird/crazy situation BUT my inlaws have full custody of one of my SIL's 2 kids, she will also be going, but both the kids fathers are not in the picture(one in jail, the other around BUT not allowed to be around the kid- he's worse than the one in jail), will they need notarized papers or something saying they can take the kids out of the country, even though their mom is there? They would not be able to get papers signed from the fathers that they can do it. I'm sure I could call DCL, just wanted to know if anyone has any experience with this kind of stuff? Or am I the only one with crazy peeps? LOL
Thanks for any help.

I took my niece to Disneyland when she was two months short of her 18th birthday and I had notorised permission forms and they asked to see them.Just the once though, when we got to LAX. Nobody cared upon departure or when we went down to Mexico.

 

[storknurse13]

Ok FWIW, I have sole legal and physical custody of my granddaughter. She's 8. We have been on MANY cruises all over. She has a passport. I travel with her court order that says I have sole legal and physical custody....they have NEVER asked for it. Not to say they wouldn't or couldn't, but never have. I take it with me every time we travel and will continue to do that and hope to never need it!! Good luck and carry all the court order documents. Also, as a side note....If the children are staying in a room with their grandparents, they WILL NOT be allowed to leave the ship with their mother unless she is staying in that room also. There is a form that can be filled out giving others permission to take other children off the ship but it must be filled out. Just a word to the wise...keep a copy of that with whomever is taking the child/children off the ship. This can be a hassle!!

 

[persimmondeb]

We travel with my nephew and my sister a fair amount. She has a different last name from him, and he is her biological child, but his appearance is somewhat different from the rest of the family's. Usually, it's not a problem, but she carries a notarized letter from her husband just in case. My nephew was questioned in some detail by the Border patrol coming back from Canada on the train, but they didn't actually want to see it (interestingly, there weren't a lot of questions when we went into Canada). We sailed on Celebrity out of Bayonne last year, and not only did they want to see it, they wanted his birth certificate. My husband and I know someone who was separated from her husband and in a custody battle who flew to the UK with her toddler without any challenge (she came back). You never know. The more documentation you have, the better.