Taking kids out of school to go to Disney. Horribly irresponsible or acceptable in some situations?

[unrequited23]

That policy does seem a bit strict. Our district requests vacations not be longer than 5 school days and requires a prior authorization form. I would look at this year's academic calendar and next year's (once it's posted online) to see when the marking periods end/grades are due. In my district, grades are due 3 or 4 days before the end of the marking period. The second marking period ends at the start of Christmas break. There are 3 days of 'fun' instruction, movies and holiday parties that do not cover core concepts or count towards grades. Maybe your school will be similarly scheduled making a mid December trip a possibility.

 

[RogueX]

That seems strict and I will echo what many have said, every school is different. We took our daughter at that age and explained that while it's more conducive to their schedules for us to schedule a vacation during school vacation time, my husband is a pilot and getting coverage for vacation time is extremely difficult, so we go when we are able to and incorporate educational moments into our travels.

 

[DopeyDame]

Holy jeeze, that document is incredibly melodramatic! "the worst kind of child neglect" "a gateway to crime"
I'd be temped to take my kid out for six days just to piss them off.

She's in Kindergarten. Go to Disney World and make wonderful core memories.

 

[DopeyDame]

As for your actual question, of course it's acceptable in some circumstances. What those circumstances are is up to each individual family.
I do push back against a lot of the people who say "it's fine as long as your kid is a good student."
I have two kids. One is designed for school. She gets great grades, teachers love her, and she enjoys school. The other really struggles a lot. He works so hard and has a tutor that takes up time after school, takes a long time to do homework, etc. etc. Of those two, it's not my "good grade" daughter who benefits most from some important family time away from the pressures of school. When we take my son out he needs it, and we need it to work on our relationship.

 

[Roscoe18]

My personal story - we took the kids out of school last November to go to WDW (K and 3rd at the time) and it ended up being fine. We notified the kids' teachers well in advance and made sure they made up the work they were missing. We're doing it again this coming May but that'll probably be the last time we do so - once my older kid hits middle school, I think it would be much more of a burden to miss an entire week. So we're squeezing in one more trip with (hopefully) lower crowds and just sucking it up in terms of making up work.

Side note - two months after our trip, my son (the 3rd grader at the time) was hospitalized with appendicitis. So his absences don't look great for last year! But he again made up the work he missed, and his teacher even came to visit him in the hospital. He's a good student and it didn't end up adversely affecting him. Only you know your kid (and you school district, which seems rather strict, IMO).

 

[2019TripIdeas]

I am a teacher myself. We're taking our daughter our for a week (She's in Kindergarten). I don't know that we'll ever do it again, but I waited until I felt confident in her academic abilities to book it.

That said, there are certain times I absolutely wouldn't pull a child. First semester of first grade is so important if your child isn't a strong reader yet. In 3rd and 4th grade there are times when things go SO quickly in math that I wouldn't book until I'd seen a curriculum map for the year. If your child is in a school that does novel studies in 4th/5th/6th, I'd plan around that as well so they weren't missing a ton of reading comprehension work. I think that middle school (6th/7th/8th) would be very difficult as well.


Our district is 10 days total before truancy officers step in, I believe.

 

[Micca]

I'd be temped to take my kid out for six days just to piss them off.

No kidding. Surely the courts and child services in that county have more pressing matters to deal with than a kid who misses more than 5 days of school.

We took our DDs out of school several times in elementary school. When we informed the teachers we were taking the kids to WDW, the typical response was "Can I go with you???""

 

[LSUmiss]

Holy jeeze, that document is incredibly melodramatic! "the worst kind of child neglect" "a gateway to crime"
I'd be temped to take my kid out for six days just to piss them off.

She's in Kindergarten. Go to Disney World and make wonderful core memories.

I’m a social worker, I can assure you I have seen much worse examples of child neglect!

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I thought our school district was tough, yours sounds really strict. I’m thinking this applies more to the upper grades rather than a five year old. I don’t think it’s as much an issue of missing projects, tests, etc when you’re five. I hope they come back to you giving permission. Get it all in writing. Cover your back b

 

[Nancyg56]

Wow! That is a strict policy!

I have no idea how your school really is regarding excused absenses, because policies are not always adhered to so I will just share how my DGD fared. If she was going to have a family vacation with her Dad she was going to have to be taken out of school. My DD worked with her teachers every year from preschool to about 5th grade. She was fine. 5th grade was not fine though, she came home and immediately got sick and missed another week, so she struggled. At that point she really did nto want to take time again, and did not until high school when she missed one week for Aruba.

You knwo your child, and you know what is best. I suggest you speak with parents and then the school to see if you can take her out without negative consequences.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

My take is this:
1. You are the parent, and it is your job to do what is in the best interest of your child.

2. When we enroll a child in school we agree to abide by the rules set forth by the school, or accept the consequences when we don't. There were schools I considered for DD, but didn't ultimately send her to because I didn't feel the rules fit with our family. You have choices in this, including home school.

3. If you feel a trip that breaks the rules is in the best interest of your child, and the consequences of breaking that rule do not mitigate that, the go for it. If the detrimental consequences of going outweigh the benefit of the trip, don't go. Only you can make this decision.

In early elementary I would have had no problem taking DD out of school for a trip, if my schedule allowed and we could get away with it school wise. Once she hit middle school, more than a couple of days just wasn't an option because of the workload for her. She is in her 10th grade year in an advanced academic program and there is no way she could have missed a week at any point past the 5th grade and not been severely hindered in her studies. They simply cover too much, and it isn't material she can teach herself without a LOT of effort and study.

 

[TiggerTrigger]

For us, it's the state attendance laws and then how the respective districts and individual schools choose to interpret and enforce them. I know they've decriminalized some of it for us, but I believe our state law gives kids 2 unexcused in a 60 day period before a school/district has the authority to take you to court. What constitutes an excused absence isn't much. At one point, the punishment was something like a $500 fine per child per infraction and a potential for misdemeanor charges for the parents. That being said, some schools will just send home a warning notice, others may do nothing, and some may take you to court right away. My friend wound up in court over her kids missing 5 days for the death of their grandfather because she couldn't immediately supply the death certificate. A different friend in a different district took his kids out for a week for a vacation and just got a warning letter with no further issues/actions from the school. Our old school used to count it as an absence on their school records even if your child was present for the state recorded attendance. I remember having to fight that they shouldn't be pushing for kids to leave 15-20 min early on the day before Christmas break after their class parties if they're going to code that 15 minutes as a full day absent for the child and that they'd lose if we ended up in court over it since the state attendance ledger counts them as being there. I had a friend have to fight with their admins because he took his kids out for a Hanukkah trip. The admin argued that it wasn't a major holiday and should be coded unexcused, but the state law does not define what specific religious holidays count for religious absences. I knew another family that had a major family event going on overseas and they just removed their child from the entire school system and re-enrolled them once they were back to avoid the legal nightmare. Now, I understand the conflict with kids missing school to go on vacation, but many of these rules and laws are in place over funding and have nothing to do with worries over a child falling behind.

In the end, you have to see how much of a headache it will be with the school and the impacts it will have on the child. At the very least, reach out to the teachers to let them know and see what you can do about missed work. I may end up regretting it, but my kids would really like to run one of the runDisney 5ks with me, so I may end up pulling them for a race in 2021.

 

[blackpearl77]

I would email her teacher and the principal and just ask if it's ok to take a week off for a family vacation.

 

[Summer2018]

So a little backstory, I wanted to take my 5 year old daughter to Disney World in December 2020. Wanted to experience the holidays at Disney with her, my wife, and our 1 year old son. She is in Kindergarten and her winter break doesn't start until the week of Christmas so we would miss the last party. So I was considering taking her out of school for a week so we could go in early December. Anyways, I started researching the attendance policy at the local school system and it seems extremely strict. Students are allowed 4 unexcused absences. 5 or move unexcused absences and a student is considered truant. This is a the website detailing some of the punishments that can be brought to bear on the parents for a truant child:

https://www.warrenschools.com/uploaded/personal/attendance/School_Attendance_(16-49).pdf
Anyways, absences can only be excused for illness, death, religious observances, extreme weather, court appearances, school sponsored events, or extenuating circumstances. Vacations are not a valid reason for absences. Anyways, I was shocked to read that they could possibly take my child away from me if she misses 5 or more days of school that is deemed unexcused. I realize that this is the extreme and not likely, but just knowing they have the option is kind of scary.

I'm just wondering if most school districts are this strict. Any experiences are appreciated. I'm waiting on email responses from the school district for clarification.

When DD was little, we went to WDW over Christmas vacation, and we pulled her out of school for one day. You would have thought that I kidnapped my child. I informed her teacher in writing. It didn't matter. We still got a call asking where she was, and I told them that we were on the Jersey Turnpike on our way to Florida. They flipped out, and I said, "Oh well." It was ONE DAY people.

I teach in an inner city school, and it takes 20 unexcused absences for there to be a DCF referral. I have never heard of DCF taking away a child over truancy. Much much more severe offenses don't even result that way.

As a teacher, I really don't want sick kids in school, and I will send them home even though it affects school attendance, because then we all get sick. Many times, a cold for me escalates to bronchitis, and sometimes pneumonia. Nobody wants the teacher to be out, so I encourage parents to keep kids home when they are sick. If there is a death in the family or another serious family issue that requires travel or the child missing school, I understand completely. I teach a lot of immigrants that will go home to their country for weeks at a time. I see the importance of family and cultural experiences, and sometimes these trips are very valuable.

When Mommy and Daddy just can't manage to get the kids to school because they are lazy or on drugs, we are going to have a big problem. DCF will intervene, and it will get ugly.

If kids are missing days to go to WDW, I am not thrilled. It's just not a good reason to miss all of the wonderful learning experiences that we have in school. No packet of homework will replace hands-on experiences in my classroom.

Ultimately, it is up to the parent to deal with the consequences of taking kids out of school to see Mickey Mouse. A day or two shouldn't make a big difference, but an entire week would be disastrous in my class.

 

[Tallis]

Growing up, I was taken out of school for a week every December for our Disney trip. I grew up to be a CPA and my sister a software engineer.

As our kids were growing up, we also took them out for a week every year for either a Disney vacation or cruise. All our kids have college degrees and none of them ended up in jail or on drugs.

Our grandchildren were being home schooled up until last year. We were able to take them to Disney for two weeks at a time and on cruises. Now that they are in public school, our trips are childless. Our grandchildren are "All A" honor roll students, with two of them being in gifted programs. Even so, they are now restricted by public schools ridiculous attendance policies.

If we only had one grandchild, and he was 5 years old, I think his parents would let us take him anyway. I don't think mandatory attendance policies apply to children under 6, in our county. But once they are 6, only 5 unexcused absences can result in legal action against the parents.

And, to add insult to injury, being ONE minute late to school counts as a day of "truancy." My grandsons' dad had them to school late once this year so now they are down to only 4 days. They were literally one minute late and children had not even entered their classrooms yet. Needless to say, they children's mother had to make sure dad understood the seriousness of that one minute, so now they are always early even the nights they spend with dad. Things just aren't like they used to be ....

 

[2019TripIdeas]

^In terms of students being "just a little late" or missing days... there are reasons why this matters to schools. State by state, things differ but the schools "Average Daily Attendance" impacts the amount of funding the school receives. Cerons "tain districts are stricter than others and some policies are more transparent. I know in the district I taught in in California, it reallly really impacted the school's overall operating budget.

California and Texas are two states where truancy and attendance can cause a school to struggle financially. I know parents don't intend for this to happen, and were often shocked when I'd explain to them that their occasional few minutes of lateness to school was costing the school X amount in funding. In some cases, this can mean up to $40 per day per student lost if that student is absent. If X amount of kids take X amount of 5 day vacations, that can mean cutting a few teaching positions for the following year.

 

[Tallis]

In some cases, this can mean up to $40 per day per student lost if that student is absent.

I do realize it's a funding issue. I wish they would give us the option to pay for it. I would happily donate $400 to the school to be allowed to take two of our grandchildren out for 5 days. Of course there would have to be some strict limits on that sort of thing or rich people would just pay their kids way through school.

I'm just a bit sour about it right now because our Disney trip is in a few weeks and will be adults only. I'll get over it, though, as I am happy with the education they are getting. We made it up for it with beach and water park trips this past summer.

 

[Neverbeast]

^In terms of students being "just a little late" or missing days... there are reasons why this matters to schools. State by state, things differ but the schools "Average Daily Attendance" impacts the amount of funding the school receives. Cerons "tain districts are stricter than others and some policies are more transparent. I know in the district I taught in in California, it reallly really impacted the school's overall operating budget.

California and Texas are two states where truancy and attendance can cause a school to struggle financially. I know parents don't intend for this to happen, and were often shocked when I'd explain to them that their occasional few minutes of lateness to school was costing the school X amount in funding. In some cases, this can mean up to $40 per day per student lost if that student is absent. If X amount of kids take X amount of 5 day vacations, that can mean cutting a few teaching positions for the following year.

This is just such a broken way to operate an educational system.
We had a year where my youngest always had to poop right before we walked out the door to get my oldest to school. We tried leaving early so she’d poop after drop off. We tried waking her up early. We tried everything and there was just something about that last minute rush to the door that really set her body off... and so my oldest was 5-10 minutes late a lot that year. She missed a lot of the pledge of allegiance and is otherwise totally unscathed. Luckily the youngest grew out of it. And extra luckily our school counts minutes/hours of absences and so the whole year of lateness only ended up being about one total day of missed school...

Why should the biological needs of a 3 year old penalize the entire school funding structure?

(And yes she grew out of that phase and yes we discussed with the teacher why we were so often late...)

 

[2019TripIdeas]

This is just such a broken way to operate

Totally agree with you there. It was such an awkward and tough conversation to have with parents at conferences and I don’t necessarily agree with it either. I for sure would’ve rather had a loved, safe, secure child at Disneyland for a week than a child who is missing school because they are homeless or parents are too addicted to substances to get their kids to school on time. The reality though is that both kids cost the school the same amount of $ for missing that day of school. And cuts have to come from somewhere and often the daily attendance money is set to fund art or music teachers which are sadly considered disposable year after year in a lot of districts.

Googling average daily attendance and your school’s name will probably explain a lot of why some schools are so concerned. Charter schools are particularly prone to attendance $ worries.

If a school is aggressive about connecting with CPS immediately or pursuing legal action, it’s likely that they don’t have the extra $ to “pay” or “lose” because of family vacations.

 

[MickeyWaffles]

In our district, we can request up to 10 days a year for family vacations. I was surprised by that - it seems like a lot.

They obviously prefer that you take vacations over breaks, but understand that sometimes parents can’t both take off work during those popular times, extended families travel together and kids’ breaks may not line up, etc.

Approval is up to the teacher and principal, based on the student. I think most requests are granted. I also don’t think many people request 10 days a year, either.