Taking Au Pair to WDW

[abolanwoski]

For folks out there with Au Pairs now or in the past - how do I handle our family vacation to WDW. The agency says that if I make it a work week for her that I pay everything (food, park tix, plane, etc) but if she comes along as a guest on her vacation time, then she has to pay it all. I don't really need her to work that week, as I'll be hanging with my kids as much as possible. But I can't see her being able to pay for everything herself. I'm going to be paying her salary either way, so that makes no difference to me, but I'd rather she use her vacation time and then we "help" her to pay some of the expenses of going. I don't see how, on what she makes, she's be able to afford airfare, tix and food if we don't help. Any suggestions?

 

[mom2aredhead]

My sis thought had a similar problem...until she actually sat and talked with the au pair. Turns out the girl didn't even want to go to WDW and had friends in another state that she wanted to visit instead, so she used her vacation time and went there, and my sister helped her out by paying for 1/2 of her airline ticket and got them discounted tix to a show they wanted to see.
The problem you'll run into is that if you make it a "work week" she'll have to take time off another week for her "vacation week" and that may be a week that you really need her. But you really can't ask her to go on vacation with you, use her vacation time, then give her a bill for her expenses...that doesn't seem fair either.
Have you spoken to her about it at all?

 

[DVCLiz]

I don't have any personal experience with this, but honestly, I don't think there's a way to say, "We want you to take your vacation with us" without it being a work-like week for her. If she can't afford to go to WDW as her vacation, then I think you should either make it a work week and pay for everything as well, or let her know she needs to take her vacation that week doing something else. I don't see a fair way to say, "Sorry, but you have to go to WDW and pay for everything yourself as your vacation". It doesn't seem fair to me.

 

[lrab1126]

Have you talked to her about it? See what she wants to do? She may just appreciate having the week off to chill out...if she were to stay back, would you be allowing her to stay in your home or does she have to go somewhere else?

 

[DevilDuckie]

If it is her vacation I would think she'd want to spend it away from your children. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're lovely, but if she is with them full time as a job it stands to reason that she would want a break.

If you want to take her to WDW, pay her way and don't consider it a "break" for her but rather a perk that she gets to work in WDW for a week.

 

[Aliceacc]

I agree-- talk to her.

You may decide on a comprimise: she spends the Magic Kingdom days with you, but is on her own for the other days. (Or she's "off" when you come back each day for a mid day swim; she can head over to Pleasure Island at night while you do the fireworks. In return, you pay for her airfare and room, she pays for her park tickets or something.)

 

[Mouse House Mama]

If it is her vacation I would think she'd want to spend it away from your children. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're lovely, but if she is with them full time as a job it stands to reason that she would want a break.

If you want to take her to WDW, pay her way and don't consider it a "break" for her but rather a perk that she gets to work in WDW for a week.

I agree. It's not really a vacation if it is with her boss and family.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I agree that its not really a vacation if your going with the boss (and by that I mean the kids!! ). From the look of your ticker, it looks like your not going for almost a year, so if you tell her about it now, maybe she will have the time to save up the money, or at least figure out somewhere else for herself to go.

 

[jewelshouse]

Honestly, I can't see asking her to use her vacation time. It's her vacation time to do with what she pleases. Asking her to use her vacation time to go on a trip with you is not realistic especially since more than likely she will be helping out now and then. Even if you don't plan on having her work, could you see your self saying "can you watch so and so while I take the other to the bathroom".

If you want her to go you should probably go ahead a pay for it so there are no misunderstandings; and like another poster said you could just say it is one of the perks of her job . . . btw it might be tax deductible.

 

[flipflop]

We have an au pair and we are bringing her with us to WDW in Dec. We are actually going to the west coast of FL for Thanksgiving week and then to WDW for a week after. We will be gone two weeks. We had told Clara that if she decided to extend for a second year we would pay for her to come to with us to WDW, if she wanted to and that the time would count as vacation. That being said, we are now counting only part of that time as vacation. She has a week of vacation scheduled for the summer b/c her mom was supposed to be flying in (see below). So she will now work 45 hours (probably will wind up less than that) over the 2 weeks we are in FL. Good for us because we can go out to dinner one night alone - or stay in the parks one afternoon while the kids nap, etc.

An au pair is part of your family, she is not a employee. Agencies are very specific about that. We correct her homework for her ESL class - we let her friends sleepover our house - we took her on a special trip to NYC alone with us for Christmas - I get on stub hub and help to find Bon Jovi tickets - she is invited to all family parties, dinners, etc. Thus, if she has decided to go on a family vacation, and winds up taking a kid to the bathroom or handing your child a glass of milk - that does not make it any less of a vacation. If the au pair wants to go on a family vacation and experience wdw, there will be normal family stuff going on, just like at home when she is "off duty" but in your house. That of course is not to say she can't go off alone. If you expect her to be alone with the kids, then those hours are not vacation. We do everything by hours in our house. So, if she watched the kids for 8 hours while you are away - I would only count week as 4 vacation days.

To be honest, we would have done things much differently than we did with hindsight. I would have offered to pay for her hotel and food and had her pay for her park ticket and airfare - or some variation thereof. Of course, I would also not have paid to have her mom fly in over the summer and make arrangements for the kids for that week only to have her mom be irresponsible and wait until now to try to get an appointment with the consulate - and now not be able to get an appointment - thus, throwing a thousand dollars down the drain.

If you are in the same situation as we are, with limited vacation time, if she doesn't want to come, I would request that she take that week as vacation. If she really wants to come to WDW and you would like her to come with you because you like her, maybe make the 1/2 of the week count as vacation. There is no way she will be able to pay for the whole trip on her salary.

We will not be as generous with our next au pair. Clara is our first au pair and we have learned a lot!

 

[rt2dz]

If it is her vacation I would think she'd want to spend it away from your children. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're lovely, but if she is with them full time as a job it stands to reason that she would want a break.

If you want to take her to WDW, pay her way and don't consider it a "break" for her but rather a perk that she gets to work in WDW for a week.

I agree.

If you want her there for your convenience, but she is going to have lots of days time/off, I'd give her a schedule of when you want her. Pay for her transportation down, ticket, accommodations, all meals with you, and an allowance for meals on her own. Talking to her is not required. This is a perk of her job.

Now, if she just wants to go and this is how she wants to spend her vacation and you want to help her get there, just decide how much you want to help her do it. Maybe you could pay for transportation and accommodations, and, possibly, half her ticket. But talk to her and see if this is how she wants to spend her vacation. Then offer to help her pay with what you have predetermined. She may or may not accept.

 

[okeydokey]

I would never presume to make an employee take their vacation with us and then pay for their own way.

 

[rie'smom]

I took my daughter's nannyand her son with us a couple of years ago. There was no question about her coming with us-I paid their expenses,salary,etc. We hung aroung together the whole time but we have become very close friends. She's the sister I never had. She's moved on to another family because my daughter is 14 but we still visit. In fact, she invited us to go to her mom'sthe other day.

 

[abolanwoski]

We have an au pair and we are bringing her with us to WDW in Dec. We are actually going to the west coast of FL for Thanksgiving week and then to WDW for a week after. We will be gone two weeks. We had told Clara that if she decided to extend for a second year we would pay for her to come to with us to WDW, if she wanted to and that the time would count as vacation. That being said, we are now counting only part of that time as vacation. She has a week of vacation scheduled for the summer b/c her mom was supposed to be flying in (see below). So she will now work 45 hours (probably will wind up less than that) over the 2 weeks we are in FL. Good for us because we can go out to dinner one night alone - or stay in the parks one afternoon while the kids nap, etc.

An au pair is part of your family, she is not a employee. Agencies are very specific about that. We correct her homework for her ESL class - we let her friends sleepover our house - we took her on a special trip to NYC alone with us for Christmas - I get on stub hub and help to find Bon Jovi tickets - she is invited to all family parties, dinners, etc. Thus, if she has decided to go on a family vacation, and winds up taking a kid to the bathroom or handing your child a glass of milk - that does not make it any less of a vacation. If the au pair wants to go on a family vacation and experience wdw, there will be normal family stuff going on, just like at home when she is "off duty" but in your house. That of course is not to say she can't go off alone. If you expect her to be alone with the kids, then those hours are not vacation. We do everything by hours in our house. So, if she watched the kids for 8 hours while you are away - I would only count week as 4 vacation days.

To be honest, we would have done things much differently than we did with hindsight. I would have offered to pay for her hotel and food and had her pay for her park ticket and airfare - or some variation thereof. Of course, I would also not have paid to have her mom fly in over the summer and make arrangements for the kids for that week only to have her mom be irresponsible and wait until now to try to get an appointment with the consulate - and now not be able to get an appointment - thus, throwing a thousand dollars down the drain.

If you are in the same situation as we are, with limited vacation time, if she doesn't want to come, I would request that she take that week as vacation. If she really wants to come to WDW and you would like her to come with you because you like her, maybe make the 1/2 of the week count as vacation. There is no way she will be able to pay for the whole trip on her salary.

We will not be as generous with our next au pair. Clara is our first au pair and we have learned a lot!

Thanks for the first-hand input!

I would never make her come with us on her vacation, my real concern is that she would want to come along but couldn't afford to (the agency rules make it clear that if she is on her vacation, she has to pay her own way, no halfsies or help from us). I would pay for all her expenses if I was making her come to work, but honestly, DH and I don't see our kids enough so as it is, I won't be pawning them off onto a babysitter while on vacation. So not much use in taking her as a work week. She's arriving in a few days. I guess if she decides to come, she's got almost a year to save up for it.

 

[flipflop]

Thanks for the first-hand input!

I would never make her come with us on her vacation, my real concern is that she would want to come along but couldn't afford to (the agency rules make it clear that if she is on her vacation, she has to pay her own way, no halfsies or help from us). I would pay for all her expenses if I was making her come to work, but honestly, DH and I don't see our kids enough so as it is, I won't be pawning them off onto a babysitter while on vacation. So not much use in taking her as a work week. She's arriving in a few days. I guess if she decides to come, she's got almost a year to save up for it.

Another way to bend the agency rules would be to gift the trip to her for Christmas or her birthday.

 

[rt2dz]

Thanks for the first-hand input!

I would never make her come with us on her vacation, my real concern is that she would want to come along but couldn't afford to (the agency rules make it clear that if she is on her vacation, she has to pay her own way, no halfsies or help from us). I would pay for all her expenses if I was making her come to work, but honestly, DH and I don't see our kids enough so as it is, I won't be pawning them off onto a babysitter while on vacation. So not much use in taking her as a work week. She's arriving in a few days. I guess if she decides to come, she's got almost a year to save up for it.

I don't know what agency you are using, but none that I know of will not allow you to not give a gift.

 

[scrapquitler]

For folks out there with Au Pairs now or in the past - how do I handle our family vacation to WDW. The agency says that if I make it a work week for her that I pay everything (food, park tix, plane, etc) but if she comes along as a guest on her vacation time, then she has to pay it all. I don't really need her to work that week, as I'll be hanging with my kids as much as possible. But I can't see her being able to pay for everything herself. I'm going to be paying her salary either way, so that makes no difference to me, but I'd rather she use her vacation time and then we "help" her to pay some of the expenses of going. I don't see how, on what she makes, she's be able to afford airfare, tix and food if we don't help. Any suggestions?

I think if you are taking her, you should pay for the whole trip. I mean, if your boss told you that he wants to send you to a conference out of state where there will be a lot of free time and only a few hours of seminars, wouldn't you still expect him to pay for it? Or, another scenario: The manager at work decides that the office needs to be recarpeted for three days next week, so everything has to close for those three days. Should he expect you to use your vacation time for those days?

Maybe she doesn't even want to go?

 

[Colinsmom]

Thanks for the first-hand input!

I would never make her come with us on her vacation, my real concern is that she would want to come along but couldn't afford to (the agency rules make it clear that if she is on her vacation, she has to pay her own way, no halfsies or help from us). I would pay for all her expenses if I was making her come to work, but honestly, DH and I don't see our kids enough so as it is, I won't be pawning them off onto a babysitter while on vacation. So not much use in taking her as a work week. She's arriving in a few days. I guess if she decides to come, she's got almost a year to save up for it.

That's a weird rule of the agency. We had three au pairs in less than a years' time (no, it was not a good experience, but that isn't your question). I would be shocked if your au pair would choose to come along and pay her own way. If she wants to spend the money to go to WDW, she'd probably go with friends. The au pairs we had shopped like crazy - they had a tough time saving any of their meager weekly paycheck.

If you want to follow the agency rule, there's no stopping you from having the au pair work by doing the kids' laundry every few days, staying with them at night while you go out, etc. She wouldn't have to work the full 45 hours per week for it to count as a work week for her.

And since this is your first au pair, you may want to wait a few months before you bring it up at all. Make sure that you like her and would want to take her along on a 2 week family vacation before you commit to spending the money on her. I've known many families who only tolerate their au pairs, waiting until the year is up, and they would not choose to take her along on a family vacation.

Note that if you do not take her along, you have to allow her to stay at your house while you are gone. And you can ask her to use her two weeks of vacation during that time, but that wouldn't give her a chance to travel with friends during her year in the U.S., which really isn't fair.

It's a tough balance!! Good luck!!

 

[clownchk]

well, how many hours does she work for you during the week?

If she agrees and wants to go with your family, I"d pay her airfare, tickets, meals with the family, but only "require" her to be with you the same amount of time. SHe will have "regular" days/ hours off and still be able to take her "real" vacation at another time.

When I was a nanny (Not with an agency) I always travelled when the family travelled, but got my own vacation. They would pay airfare and all associated costs. SO when we "Summered" in Jamaica, I still had my "regular" days off - they hired local "help" for the kids on those days, and paid for my day passes to a local all inclusive resort since Jamaica is not a place for a single white female to wander by herself.

Each morning (Since I could not have my evenings off) I was "given" Horse back riding lessons. Again, I was not allowed off the family complex unaccompanied, so this was a way for me to get out "on my own" (There was always at least one riding instructor with me, and it was a private lesson, but sometimes the mom would join us).

They would also have me accompany the parents on some outings so that I could "get out". If I was with the parents, I never paid for anything except my personal souveniers, etc. BUT If I was at the resort, on my own, and wanted to do something that was not included in the price, that was up to me to pay for.

It was a nice way to handle it. Then, at a later date, I would vacation back home with my family, or elsewhere with friends.

Hope you and your au pair come to a great understanding as to what is expected!!

 

[java]

When I was a nanny in college I had the family want to take me with the to Cancun for spring break. They would have paid for it all - but I wouldn't get paid. They played it as "a free vacation"
I heard it as "Come along and watch our kids for free" it wasn't going to be my vacation as I was chasing their 3 kids around the beach. And sit in their room at night so mom and dad could go out to eat.

Now as an adult I understand more of where they were coming from - but just wanted to give an "au pair's" interpretation of such offers.