Taking a newborn out for Thanksgiving

[phamton]

I guess I am the odd one out--I just never thought twice about taking my kids out or really felt the need to rest tons after I had my babies. I guess that has to do with the fact I had to care for the other kiddos pretty much as soon as I got home from the hospital. The joy of having 5 kids in 5 years.

I'm an odd one, too, then. I also have 5 kids (2 of whom are twins). My 4th child was born Dec. 23. My extended family celebrates on Christmas Eve. We have our dinner on Dec. 24th and then open presents. I had my fourth child on Dec. 23rd and was released from the hospital the next afternoon, a less than 24 hours after giving birth. That same night, I was at my grandmother's house with tons of aunts, uncles, cousins, plus my husband and other three kids. It was wonderful to introduce my newborn to my extended family when he was only one day old. Then the next day, we spent at my in-laws house. We were lucky that both families lived in the same town as we did. I went out with all my kids as soon as I got home from the hospital except for my twins. I had a c-section with them and didn't feel well enough to go running around everywhere for about a week or so. My kids were all very healthy.

When my first child was born, my best friend came over to see the baby. She had 3 kids and her youngest had a little runny nose. One day later, her child was hospitalized with meningitis. I really freaked over that and rushed my daughter to the pediatrician. He assured me that my daughter would be fine and that we would just watch her. He said that newborns usually have acquired immunities from the mother for the first few months plus she was still getting colostrum. . She was fine and turned out to be the healthiest of all my kids. She never even had a sniffle until she was 2 1/2 years old. My twins did have their share of colds and minor illnesses but none while they were newborn.

Now, if I were sick, I certainly wouldn't feel like going to anyone's house for Thanksgiving.

 

[Colleen27]

I personally wouldn't worry about the germs. Your older kids are going to bring plenty of those home to the baby regardless of how much you try to avoid it; that's just the nature of having a baby and a school aged child in the same house. A 4yo spending time with other 4yos is far more likely to get the baby sick than adult guests at a family dinner.

The bottom line question should be whether or not you feel up to it, and you absolutely are not being unreasonable for wanting to relax at home so soon after having a baby! Especially with dealing with sick kids too, and your DH not having any real paternity leave.

DH & I have three kids and we've never sheltered them out of fear of germs, even as brand newborns. With my girls, we stopped at MIL's to visit and have dinner on the way home from the hospital. But DH always let me call the shots on how much running around, visiting, or errands I felt up to doing during the first few weeks. That's just common sense, I think - childbirth and recovery isn't a day at the spa, and it isn't right for your husband to be pushing you into spending a long day with his family if you don't feel up to it. I don't think there would be anything wrong with going if you felt like it, but there's also nothing wrong with skipping it. Either way, your husband should be supporting your position, not pressuring you to do what his family thinks you should.

 

[fairestoneofall]

my son was eight days old on thanksgiving when he was born. i sent DH along with DD to the family celebration and took the opportunity for some quiet bonding time with my son.

it wasn't so much germs i was worried about. i was just still exhausted and didn't want to have to be "on" for the day. i just wanted to rest.

 

[Magpie]

I took my first baby to a potluck party when she was younger than that - just seven days old. My second... I didn't get a chance to because we got iced in and no one was going anywhere.

First baby? Healthy as a horse. Second baby? Got his first bout of croup (with high fever) when he was two weeks old, and I foolishly chose not to take him to Emerg. because I was afraid of what else he might catch. He survived, but the doctor gave me a blast of it when he found out.

But OP - for better or for worse, I made my own choices! You're the momma, you should do what you want. If you want to stay home with your 10 day old, then stay home! Your husband can take your other children and go without you. It'll be a nice break for you, and one you definitely deserve.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Can't believe how many people stay home with their babies for so long--cooped up in the house! I would have gone stir crazy. I have 5 kids and they were all out of the house by the first week they were home. I was always excited to show off my babies too. I had 3 c-sections and would have gladly gone to someone's house with my kids and baby 10 days post birth. To have someone cook for me, talk with me (and it being an adult-not one of the kids or my DH), etc would have been really nice.

I guess I am the odd one out--I just never thought twice about taking my kids out or really felt the need to rest tons after I had my babies. I guess that has to do with the fact I had to care for the other kiddos pretty much as soon as I got home from the hospital. The joy of having 5 kids in 5 years.

You're not the only one. I didn't think twice about it either (and the pediatricians never said anything about it--gosh I flew with DD at 6 weeks). Until this thread I though the tradition of confining new mothers and their babies to weeks at the home died out along with wearing bustles and leaving calling cards when visiting.

 

[Mermaid02]

Count me as someone who took my babies where I wanted to... face it, your baby is exposed to some NASTY airborn germs every time you go to the pediatrician. One baby was a December baby and the other was a March baby. The March baby got RSV when he was just about a year old, maybe 10 months.

Still, the op is 10 days postpartum and tired and not feeling well. Mom and baby stay home, Dad and the bigger kids can take their colds and go to Thanksgiving..... a cold wouldn't stop any of my family from attending!

 

[vettechick99]

I don't normally worry about germs although my good friend's 8-month old is in the hospital with RSV as we speak. She got it from her older brother so you don't need to take them anywhere to get sick.

Anyway, you are 10 days out. Stay at home and rest. 10 days out I was just starting to feel the exhaustion - the high was over. If you lived near me, I would bring you dinner.

Have a good day!

 

[kathmzh]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. You're exhausted! I don't know if this is still the case, but when my 4-month-old got RSV, the Dr. said it wa lucky she wasn't any younger, because the course of treatment is more difficult with newborns...but this was 13 years go. Of course, your older two are bringing home germs too, but why ask for trouble?
Have your husband bring the older two, and bring you home a plate, while you stay home with the baby.

 

[scrapquitler]

I would go, even if just for a little while. You aren't going to stay home all winter are you?

 

[sunnyday123]

You're not the only one. I didn't think twice about it either (and the pediatricians never said anything about it--gosh I flew with DD at 6 weeks). Until this thread I though the tradition of confining new mothers and their babies to weeks at the home died out along with wearing bustles and leaving calling cards when visiting.

I was told by my Dr to keep DD home for the first two weeks, and I did. First because I was exhausted, and second because I didn't want her exposed to anything. I figured my Dr new best.

Also, I had a friend lose her two week old son because he caught a cold. He was nursed, and it wasn't even a cold that was noticable, but it was just a cold.

 

[jenrose66]

Hi all. Just checking back in. After much fighting DH caved and we all stayed home. I told him I didn't care if he went alone but that I didn't want the kids out because they are sick. Poor DS (the older one) actually woke up today with a stomach bug (that's going around at his pre k too, they sent a note home). So he's sweating and shivering at the same time in the bathroom and I told DH it's nuts to bring this kid anywhere he stays home!

 

[Wishing on a star]

And to all who aren't feeling well....

 

[wilderness01]

Glad common sense prevailed and you all stayed home.

For those that think it is "old school" to keep your newborn home, we still give that advice upon discharge at the hospital I am at. It isn't "old school" thinking, it is what your pediatrician recommends, especially during cold and flu season.

OP, hope you are all feeling better soon. Take care.

 

[minkydog]

Hi all. Just checking back in. After much fighting DH caved and we all stayed home. I told him I didn't care if he went alone but that I didn't want the kids out because they are sick. Poor DS (the older one) actually woke up today with a stomach bug (that's going around at his pre k too, they sent a note home). So he's sweating and shivering at the same time in the bathroom and I told DH it's nuts to bring this kid anywhere he stays home!

And I bet the rest of the family is VERY glad you stayed home. I dan't believe your husband would even consider taking a kid with a GI virus over to someone's house. Ewww, ick!

 

[Missy1961]

I think it depends more on how you feel mom. If you feel lousy, you should stay home with the baby.

 

[shortbun]

Hi all. Just checking back in. After much fighting DH caved and we all stayed home. I told him I didn't care if he went alone but that I didn't want the kids out because they are sick. Poor DS (the older one) actually woke up today with a stomach bug (that's going around at his pre k too, they sent a note home). So he's sweating and shivering at the same time in the bathroom and I told DH it's nuts to bring this kid anywhere he stays home!

So sorry your older son is sick with another virus now! I hope you all avoid that. I hope his dad knows that he is the one to take care of him so you avoid the bug. Glad you stayed home. Turkey just isn't that important.

 

[Mermaid02]

Glad common sense prevailed and you all stayed home.

For those that think it is "old school" to keep your newborn home, we still give that advice upon discharge at the hospital I am at. It isn't "old school" thinking, it is what your pediatrician recommends, especially during cold and flu season.

OP, hope you are all feeling better soon. Take care.

Must be old school to my pediatrician, because I was never told to stay home for any length of time- I had another child, had to do the grocery shopping etc. We didn't go out and hang around the mall- but I had things I had to do. And I was always quick to ask folks not to touch the baby.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, I don't care if there are some who think you push the kid thru the birth canal while out in the fields, and then keep workin' the crops... or give birth while pushing the shopping cart thru the produce aisle....

Clearly every woman has the right to make her own decision based on what is right for her and her family.... with their physical condition and health in consideration.

Clearly, this is exactly what the OP did, and I applaud her!!!!

 

[Mermaid02]

Wow, I don't care if there are some who think you push the kid thru the birth canal while out in the fields, and then keep workin' the crops... or give birth while pushing the shopping cart thru the produce aisle....

Clearly every woman has the right to make her own decision based on what is right for her and her family.... with their physical condition and health in consideration.

Clearly, this is exactly what the OP did, and I applaud her!!!!

Obviously.

Isn't it weird though that some docs want you to stay housebound for weeks and others tell you to go about your regular routine.... I certainly don't doubt those who say they were told to stay put.

 

[vettechick99]

Obviously.

Isn't it weird though that some docs want you to stay housebound for weeks and others tell you to go about your regular routine.... I certainly don't doubt those who say they were told to stay put.

Mine said to keep the baby away from large crowds for 4 weeks - malls, events, etc. I think using common sense is best here. Glad the OP stayed home and rested - you have many, many Thanksgivings ahead of you!