Taking a high-schooler out of school?

[mjantz]

Is there a way you can go with your mom a few days earlier & your son can come for the weekend? I honestly would try very hard not to take him out. My kids are in elementary school & even then I've noticed that if they miss a few days it just pulls them off for a week or two. We've had a rough year so far with many days missed (mostly for illness/injury) & I've noticed the difference from previous years when they only missed 1-3 days each.

 

[DawnM]

This is true in many school districts. The one I worked in for 16 years had this policy. I usually gave make up work because I really didn't want to punish the child for his/her parent's decision. I didn't think that was fair. But then I found that many of the kids didn't do the make-up work. But I felt that if I had at least given it to them they couldn't complain about their grades.

I wouldn't do it at the high school level.

Dawn

Hi. At my son's high school, vacations are not excused and teachers are not required to give make up work-- and many won't. They have to give it for excused absences.

Remember, this is when grades count... in Georgia, one bad semester can mess up your chances to get into UGA. Jeremy, nowadays, it isn't just the super competetive colleges that are hard to get into-- but even regular ones. (It is a number game -- far more students go to college now and only one or two new colleges have opened in the last 20 years)

 

[DawnM]

Well, here is the problem.....I taught for 12 years and was a school counselor for a little over 4 years (now staying home with little ones.)

We had parents lie and we also had a lot of students write their own notes and sign their parents names. Honestly, we had so many of them that we really didn't question them unless something came up.

But students TALK and beleive me, teachers hear. A student can have an exuse that says they were sick or visiting a sick family member or whatever, but then will go out into the hallway and tell his/her best friend all about the trip to Disney and how much fun he had. Meanwhile, the teacher or counselor is monitoring the hallway and hears the whole thing.

Believe me, that student AND his/her parents are now on a mental "watch list" as being untrustworthy. We remember those families and aren't sure what to believe from them on.

I have always told my students that if I can't trust their word, I can't trust them, period.

Dawn

In that case I would lie and turn it into an "excused absence", but that's just me. i know a lot of people think that's wrong.

 

[daveswife]

Honestly, I wouldn't do it. He's going to have so much catching up to do. Could you possibly go over Thanksgiving, minimizing the number of days missed?

 

[lastminutemom]

Could you and your mom do a mother daughter trip? It would be very special for both of you?

Also, surely you could go for shorter or perhaps you have a teacher planning day?

Freshman year certainly counts-- and the flagship state universities across the country have become more and more competitive to get into.

 

[southtexasmom]

I wouldn't take my high schooler out for a vacation. He has a few excused absences for soccer tournaments and FFA, he has trouble catching up from those one day absences, I can't imagine taking him out of school for a week long vacation.

I would never, under any circumstances, lie to the school. What would I be teaching my child if I lied?

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, I'm still on the fence and I'm not really flexible. Trust me, if we wanted a mother daughter trip, we would go to a casino, not Disney World!! I teach too, but I have a week off in October that my son doesn't...that's why I'm looking at those dates. And no, going to Florida for a weekend from California isn't doable. Thanksgiving is another option, although not as good, because my Mom wanted to do Halloween and so did my son. I'm just going to have to give it more thought and see what my son thinks. I'm more inclined to take him out than not, but am still thinking about it.

 

[dawnbu40]

I think it totally depends on your child. If he is a good student and willing to make up the work I say go for it! My daughter is an honor roll student and we took her out for 4 days last year to go to WDW and she prearranged her work with her teachers and had most of it done before we even left! This is her senior year and we are taking her out for 5 days to go to WDW. We know once she is in college she won't have this luxury so we are enjoying it now.

 

[HopperFan]

In our district and state this would equal = unexcused absence with five days of zeros. Chance of a good grade that semester would be questionable, especially if there were any major tests that week. Many districts by current rules will not allow any work to be made up regardless of the students ability. Also at five days unexcused we would be turned in to the court system for truancy. Lying about illness would require a doctor's note lying as well. All in all, not a good message.

Yes that grade is absolutely critical in these times. Getting into college of your choice in this State university system can be close to impossible, and if you think you want the State tuition scholarship you must watch your grades from day one. Freshman year is one of the most important. It is the beginning of your GPA and a small dip can be impossible to reverse.

I may pull my child for a couple days, but five, no way. Too much to fall behind on. My choice would have been to plan this trip the year before entering high school, or now that we are in it, we work around school.

 

[the porter family]

My DD's out of school for Labor Day week! They only missed 3 Days due to being out Mon & Tue. Both A & B students that never miss school! My DD12 had no problems at all! My DD15 was so mad when she returned back to school. She had a tough time getting caught back up. I said they were sick but somehow the school found out! She plays volleyball and had to run 150 laps around the track and was not allowed to play in any games until she had ran all of her laps. She is the type of kid that cries when you make her stay home due to a fever I am wanting to go again in September but she has refused to go! I hate goinig during Spring Break now that I know how the crowds are in Sept. I think High School is just to tough to take her out again!

 

[DisTeach1]

Lucky for me, if we do, it won't be unexcused. You can go on independent contract here if the absence is at least 5 days and as long as you complete the contract, the work counts. So, that part's okay. I just worry, and haven't made up my mind yet.

 

[mjh8955]

Depends on your student, and your school, and you.

We have taken our kids out of school several times, usually in October although this year it will be 4 days in April. Our kids are 8th grade and a junior. They are in a private Christian school, and it's tough academically. Here is how I handle it (and so far, we have been 100% successful).

1. We schedule our trips with the blessing of our principal. I sit down in her office and together we look at the school calendar far in advance. We pick a time right after a grading period ends, never at the end of one.

2. I make it a point to speak to or e-mail each of their teachers individually as to our plans. It makes extra work for them to get assignments ready early, but they are so appreciative of getting advance warning that they always cooperate fully.

3. About 1 to 2 weeks out I provide an assignment sheet to each teacher that they can fill out with their assignments and also any notes or comments at the bottom, then there is no misunderstanding about what is or isn't due.I follow up with each teacher until we have all of them collected.

4. Our school's policy is that tests and quizzes have to be taken before leaving, homework is due upon return. My own policy is that if we are going on vacation I want the kids to enjoy it as well and not have to bring homework with them, so I make sure and ask for the assignments early and my kids are usually able to turn everything in before they go. And usually their teachers offer to let them take quizzes and tests when they get back, even though the official policy is otherwise.

5. I follow up with each teacher, either in person or by e-mail, to make sure they have everything they are expecting and that the work has been done well.

6. We are apparently one of the more successful families in our school that does this. Our CEO stopped me one day and said he wished I could give a class to other parents about how to take kids out of school on vacation.

7. Having said all of this, if your student really has to work in their classes, or is less than an A/B student, the struggle to catch up will not be worth a few days of fun. And remember that the grades your student gets their junior year are the ones that you use for college admissions so you do not want to jeopardize that.

 

[RMulieri]

As a former teen whose parents took her out of school and high school every year for a disney vacation, I say it is a personal decision.....If you want my own opinion though, I wouldn't do it.I missed work that I could never make up.I ended up failing classes.I could not keep up with lab work done in science classes and was lost in math classes.As an adult now I do remember my trips fondly, but I also remebering hrs of after school tutoring to try and catch up and worrying being left back a year. I will never take my kids out of highschool for a trip, it was too much of a struggle for me and my brothers . PS...I was an honor student in middle school and junior/senior year( after I refused to get pulled out of school for a trip)

 

[Schmeck]

Lucky for me, if we do, it won't be unexcused. You can go on independent contract here if the absence is at least 5 days and as long as you complete the contract, the work counts. So, that part's okay. I just worry, and haven't made up my mind yet.

You are so lucky, and I'm jealous! Here, if students miss more than 5 classes in one quarter, they can get an F for a grade, even if the work is done in advance, etc. So when my daughter got sick (high fever, etc) and missed two days of school the same quarter as I knew she was going to miss 4 days of school for Eastern Sectionals, I was sweating it. And those 4 days were during midterm exams! Luckily, they had two exams one day, and two the next, both half-days, so she only missed 3 full days of classes for skating, plus 2 sick days = 5... I love the sound of an independent contract!

 

[Dogslider]

Our son has missed a week as a Freshman, Junior and next year as a Senior. He has neve had a problem making up the work or falling behind. I have always left the decision up to him and have written a personal note to each teacher before we went. He was fine in all of his classes including Advanced English, Spanish III and Chemistry. I believe is depends on the student and the teachers.
Not sure how this fits in but, during the last 10 school days, he didn't even have a Trig class for 3 of them. 1 was an assembly and 2 the teacher was off and they can't get seem to get a subsitute that knows anything about this subject.

 

[ChicagoMommy2Two]

My husband's ex-wife takes my stepsons out of school every year to go to Florida for 2 weeks. This year it backfired on her and the oldest (8th grade) wasn't allowed to turn in any of his work or make up tests since SHE did not go through the appropriate channels. She punished him and it was a big todo between us since we didn't feel like he should have been punished. It all depends on your child and the school.

 

[disneyjunkie]

My husband's ex-wife takes my stepsons out of school every year to go to Florida for 2 weeks. This year it backfired on her and the oldest (8th grade) wasn't allowed to turn in any of his work or make up tests since SHE did not go through the appropriate channels. She punished him and it was a big todo between us since we didn't feel like he should have been punished. It all depends on your child and the school.

Lucky boys. My son would love to have yearly, two week trips to Florida. To bad things didn't work out well this year. Maybe next year will be better.

I noticed the count down clock in your signature. Your husband's sons aren't going to disney with you all?

 

[VickiVM]

No - Never. Not even in middle school. School lessons move very quickly and missing even a day or two can really hurt the child's ability to complete their homework which is often over the material that is covered in class. All 3 of my children are great students - in pre-AP and GT classes - but even they know how important it is not to miss a day. My 11 year old went to school sick last week because she had several tests. My 14 year old is also not in the best of health right now (allergies have kicked our butts this year in San Antonio), but had a TAKS test yesterday and couldn't miss.

Don't put that kind of pressure on the kids - we're the parents and need to make the right decisions on behalf of the kids.

Now if they were in elementary, I would and have. Still not ideal, but less pressure on the kids. We're relegated to doing Disney this year in mid-August before school starts and I hate the thought of enduring the heat, but because it's the least expensive time to go and it's during summer, we're sucking it up.

 

[blessedby3]

We have taken all of our kids out of school for Disney trips. Only one is in high school. We took her out in her 9th, 11th and 12th grade years. This year (12th) they changed to block scheduling. I was worried about her missing double time, but she had no problems. She didnt the other years either. She is an honor student and all but one of her teachers were excited for her and were glad she was able to go. We just dealt with the one oddball. She got some of her work done before we left and the rest done when we got back. This most recent trip we combined a school break with 4 days extra off. They were out 3 days for a winter break and we took them out for an additional 4. That being said, she starts college in the fall and our future trips will HAVE to revolve around her college breaks. We will still pull out the other 2 if the breaks dont coincide with each other. I refuse to go during the blazing hot crowded summer so we choose to pull the kids out and have a more relaxing cool vacation in the off season!!

 

[frtchr]

Sending to kids to school sick is a whole different topic, but from a former teacher, I sarcastically say, "Gee, thanks. Sick kids in the classroom are JUST what we all need."