Taking a break from trying, how about you?

[Sassagoula Billy]

Do you reach that breaking point where it seems inconceivable to even try to discuss the whole marriage argument? Maybe I'm just stalling out due to overheating, but one thing I've discovered about myself is that I am far too easily angered by smokescreens and red herrings. The second someone tries to reposition an argument to be about those old standbys "choice" and "lifestyle", I start boiling. Boiling!

So do you pick your battles? Do you abstain? Living where I do, I never have to deal with what I encounter when I leave the city, or log onto the internet. And it eats away at me.

Just curious.

 

[RAPstar]

I just don't care anymore about the whole marriage thing. If it happens, it happens. Really, whether we get it or not, it will have no effect on my life so I just leave the whole thing alone.

 

[rpmdfw]

I just don't care anymore about the whole marriage thing. If it happens, it happens. Really, whether we get it or not, it will have no effect on my life so I just leave the whole thing alone.

You say that now. When you get into a relationship, and face not being able to make crucial decisions for each other in an emergency, it's a WHOLE other ball game.

Better to fight for the rights now before you need them, than to find that you need them and they're not there for you.

 

[rpmdfw]

Do you reach that breaking point where it seems inconceivable to even try to discuss the whole marriage argument? Maybe I'm just stalling out due to overheating, but one thing I've discovered about myself is that I am far too easily angered by smokescreens and red herrings. The second someone tries to reposition an argument to be about those old standbys "choice" and "lifestyle", I start boiling. Boiling!

So do you pick your battles? Do you abstain? Living where I do, I never have to deal with what I encounter when I leave the city, or log onto the internet. And it eats away at me.

Just curious.

Nope. I never take a break. I take EVERY opportunity to open dialogue and show people that Scott and I are as married as any straight couple, and are being unjustly treated.

Yes, it's frustrating, but I'm not going to go stand in the back of the bus.

The people who are fighting AGAINST our equality sure aren't taking any breaks. That means we can't either.

 

[MaleMaleficent]

It's very important to me. My partner and I have been together for 14 years. I guess I'm a cockeyed optimist, but to all the people that oppose gay marriage, I have this to say:

Gird your loins. It's going to happen. May not be tomorrow, but it's going to happen.

And one more thing: don't let all that "choice", "lifestyle", and religious arguments AGAINST it fool you. The powers that be in this country (corporate america) know what gay marriage would mean. Namely, the payout of retirement benefits, pension plans, having to cover people on insurance plans, etc. that they've never had to deal with before.

At the end of the day, it's all about the money.

 

[RAPstar]

You say that now. When you get into a relationship, and face not being able to make crucial decisions for each other in an emergency, it's a WHOLE other ball game.

Better to fight for the rights now before you need them, than to find that you need them and they're not there for you.

Yeah, I'll probably never be in a realtionship so that argument is pretty much moot.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

Nope. I never take a break. I take EVERY opportunity to open dialogue and show people that Scott and I are as married as any straight couple, and are being unjustly treated.

Yes, it's frustrating, but I'm not going to go stand in the back of the bus.

I applaud you for this. But to RAPstar, it's not about marriage itself, really. It's about "normal". When there are equal rights for all Americans, there'll be a much smaller threshold of tolerance towards those kids beaten at school, thrown out of their homes, or coerced into marriages just to hold their own in disapproving, bigoted society. Until we are viewed as equal, rathern than deviant or different, that's one more burden for a future gay child to endure.

But when they start throwing "choice" and "lifestyle" in your face, and ganging up (for instance, right here on TheDis of all places), it takes a much thicker skin than I can muster all of the time. I think of how far we've come, and I'm appreciative... but, it's extremely difficult for me to keep my cool against plain old abuse. Abuse should never be categorized as "opinion" or "point of view".

 

[rpmdfw]

Yeah, I'll probably never be in a realtionship so that argument is pretty much moot.

You're young yet. It'll happen.

I used to say the same thing ALL the time.

Now I've been happily coupled for seven years.

Every pot has a cover.

You just need to keep positive and know that when the time is right, it'll happen.

Just don't give up!

 

[rosiep]

....as a woman married to a man for 27 years...I never pass up the opportunity to support gay marriage. I'll be damned if anyone tells me that your love is less valid than mine.

 

[RAPstar]

You're young yet. It'll happen.

I used to say the same thing ALL the time.

Now I've been happily coupled for seven years.

Every pot has a cover.

You just need to keep positive and know that when the time is right, it'll happen.

Just don't give up!

But, I have given up. I know it sounds horrible of me, but I'm tired of the games and the bull. And I know part of it is my fault cause I hate going out and that limits the amount of people that I meet. I much happier sitting at home alone then gtting my heart broken cause no one gets me or is only after sex......unless that's the only reason we're meeting

 

[inkedupmomma]

New BFF, do not give up! You take any and every chance to stick up for what you believe in. I know it's frustrating, but it's worth it! I can't tell you the number of fights I have been in over my beliefs, but you know what, if one person took something positive away from it, then I'm happy!

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

New BFF, do not give up! You take any and every chance to stick up for what you believe in. I know it's frustrating, but it's worth it! I can't tell you the number of fights I have been in over my beliefs, but you know what, if one person took something positive away from it, then I'm happy!

Thanks inkedupmomma! But that's my central argument.. this isn't just another belief, unless we're referring to the belief that people should be able to live their lives without violence or threat of violence; without mockery, without derision of being who they are. I don't see why that should be a belief anyone would reject.

 

[f86sabjf]

....as a woman married to a man for 27 years...I never pass up the opportunity to support gay marriage. I'll be damned if anyone tells me that your love is less valid than mine.

I 100% agree on this one. If any of my conservative friends try to argue with me i usually disect them into being bigots or something else. Being raised in an ultra conservative religious house I know all there arguments. Love is Love know matter who its with. If they bring religion into the mix I remind them its up to God not them to pass any judgement . I will sign and vote every chance i get for equal rights and no discrimination for everyone no matter what there sexual preference or skin color is.
Dont worry gang we will win eventually . The youngsters of the world will change this for us older folks if we can get them to vote.

 

[inkedupmomma]

Thanks inkedupmomma! But that's my central argument.. this isn't just another belief, unless we're referring to the belief that people should be able to live their lives without violence or threat of violence; without mockery, without derision of being who they are. I don't see why that should be a belief anyone would reject.

I agree baby boy, I agree. Why do you think I have fought with so many people lol! and DO NOT get my DD started about equality! Once when she was in 1st grade, a kid said ew look, 2 girls kissing, and my daughter ripped that kid a n ew..well, yeah. She went off on how anyone can love eachother and should be able to love eachother, and who was he to say ew, love is love and has no boundaries. Her teacher was floored!

In conclusion, I hate almost everyone and am an equal opportunity hater. I think people should hate on an individual basis

 

[John_RN]

I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't support gay marriage with a valid point without the old standby "well the Bible says its wrong".

I always remind them that the Bible also condones selling your daughters into slavery, stoning people who choose to work on Sundays, and being a huge sin with mixing two clothes fabrics. I even ask, "so which one am I going to hell faster for? Being gay, or working a 16 hour shift on the cancer floor at the hospital on Sundays?" Usually leaves them without an answer.

It makes me so angry that my drug addict/alcoholic 20 year old cousin gets better health insurance benefits and rights because he knocked up a 19 year old girl and got married while I am here being a full-time employee and have been in a monogamous relationship for the past 7 years and I still can't put the SO on my health insurance.

 

[inkedupmomma]

I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't support gay marriage with a valid point without the old standby "well the Bible says its wrong".

I always remind them that the Bible also condones selling your daughters into slavery, stoning people who choose to work on Sundays, and being a huge sin with mixing two clothes fabrics. I even ask, "so which one am I going to hell faster for? Being gay, or working a 16 hour shift on the cancer floor at the hospital on Sundays?" Usually leaves them without an answer.

It makes me so angry that my drug addict/alcoholic 20 year old cousin gets better health insurance benefits and rights because he knocked up a 19 year old girl and got married while I am here being a full-time employee and have been in a monogamous relationship for the past 7 years and I still can't put the SO on my health insurance.

That is total BS and I am sorry you have to deal with that! BTW, I love the line about which are you going to hell faster for. Totally gonna be my new comeback!

 

[DVCDan36]

You are not going to change stupidity without education. The more that Same Sex Marriage is discussed and supported, the further we will get to equal rights.
And if I am going to hell because I love, at least I will be in good company.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I'm straight, but I am going to hell for lots of other things. See you all there!

This thread has made me think about the topic, and the fact that while I wouldn't back down from a conversation about equal rights, I can't think of the last time a conversation like that actually happened. Maybe because my friends already support equality?

 

[f86sabjf]

well it does show you how important this must be as of the time of this posting there were 359 views and only 17posts. People are just so afraid to open there mouths in this pc world we live in but they sure dont mind eavesdropping on it

 

[hematite153]

I think that it's important to keep talking regardless of what you run into. When equal marriage legislation was being talked about here there were all kinds of argument for a "same, but, different" option and I found that when I confronted people with what that would mean for my children and the specifics of what they were asking for they generally backed down and said they hadn't thought about it fully.

Years in and equal marriage is just generally an accepted part of most of our society -- there are still odd segments though.

Note: Equal Marriage campaigns in Canada were VERY quick to realize that when they talked about "Equal Marriage" (instead of same sex marriage) they got lots of people onside who would have just ignored the other argument. When one side is talking about equality and it's obvious in every breath and the other side is talking about discrimination it flares people's attention. Bizarrely in some ways since the argument for same sex marriage is an argument about equality. But, when you say, "we want same sex marriage" your opponents start to turn the tables and talk about homosexuality. When you say, "we want equal marriage" then in order to make their points they have to start the sex discussion and it's easier to respond with "this isn't a discussion about sex or about religion, this is a discussion about equality". (I don't say this as well as the advocates who actually spoke for us, but, the idea is meaningful.)