Take Your Kids to the Park...

[ZephyrHawk]

...and leave them.

So, as you may or may not know, there is a movement to make May 22nd "Take Our Kids to the Park…And Leave Them There Day". I will not be participating for the simple fact that I have no children, however, I'm interested to see what other people's feelings on this are. Here's the blog of the woman who came up with the idea:

www.freerangekids.com

Proponents of the day are not arguing that you leave very young children who can't take care of themselves, or that you even leave them for very long, but believe that the world today is no more dangerous (and quite a bit less so) than it was when we were children and that people are damaging their children by not encouraging them to play outside and be independent. I know I've seen people on these boards who seem to espouse these beliefs, but I know I've seen others who are totally against leaving their children alone for even brief times.

So, is anyone here going to be participating? Anyone here shocked to their core that parents would even consider doing something like this? Anyone (apart from me) willing to sit back with their virtual bucket of popcorn and see what comes up?

Just for kicks, I'll make this a pool too.

 

[Aisling]

I get her point, but this is not the 1950s anymore. Nuts are bolder these days. I would never do it.

It's true, though, that kids years ago were more independent and self-sufficient, more social, and created stronger friendships when they were put out of the house in the morning, came home for lunch, and went out again until dinner time. I remember such a comraderie among kids in the neighborhood because we were all outside playing all day with no parents around to fight our battles for us.

But, again, those were different days, sadly.

 

[Colleen27]

I'm not participating because my older kids (8 & 12) are pretty much "free range" without a special day to commemmorate it. We chose the area we live in largely because of a more "old fashioned" culture; the kids have to check in if they're going further than earshot of the house, but they're allowed to go to the park, the little league fields, and the elementary playground with friends so long as I know where they're at. And they know to be home by the time the streetlights come on, same as my brother & I did as kids.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I have a friend who is very into free range parenting. To each his own. I hope that I am able to find a medium between hovering and free range.


I worry more about advertising this particular day.....wouldn't it be like calling the perverts to supper??? Do it, if you must, but letting everyone know that children are going to be unsupervised at a park seems crazy to me.

 

[happygirl]

Not a chance. That is just asking for problems

 

[2cats1kid]

Didn't know about this, but my DD (12) has arranged with two friends (just turned 13 and nearly 13) to go for a bike ride round the lake on Sunday. So our day will be one day late. Of course I'll worry, but it's the sort of thing she has to do and they are all sensible kids. Three would be my minimum for this sort of thing though, so that if anything happened to one of them there's one to go for help and one to stay with whoever has had the accident. They will all have mobiles too, I guess.

 

[krcit]

From what I saw on the news, she's talking about kids 7 and up. I think that is a recipe for disaster not to mention against the law according to a lawyer on a local news program. 7,8,9 even 10 to me is too young. Why can't you bring the kids to the park and sit and read a book nearby? When my kids were younger I would go to the park with a friend, let the kids loose and sit on a bench and catch up with my friend. A 7 year old is not equipped to deal with some sticky situations that can come up ie. a sketchy, weird starnger, a bully, a medical emergency. If that makes me a helicopter parents by that lady's 'standards' then so be it.

 

[Tinkermommy]

Nope. I won't be participating. My DD can play outside in our neighborhood all she wants and does so for hours with her friends.

I agree about not hovering over your kids, but there has to be a common sense middle and lots of adult/weird things happen at public parks (especially in the rest rooms).

I won't be letting her roam free just to make a point.

 

[FireDancer]

It depends on where you live to a large extent. We used to walk down to the park all the time as kids, probably starting about the age of 7. We were out in the neighborhood every day after school playing baseball or football on a field in the neighborhood or playing basketball in someone's driveway. We had paths in the woods we would hike and bike. Getting outside and playing was something we had to do everyday, it was like it was a homework assignment.

I don't think the world is any more dangerous now then it was 10, 20, 30, etc years ago, we just find out about the bad things that happen more because information travels faster. That same information makes kids safer. Instead of the "stranger danger" we were told about as kids now we know, and hopefully tell our kids, that it is people they know that pose the greatest threat. Sex offenders have to register in many places and are known to all of their neighbors (or at least the ones that bother to check), you would have almost never known if that old man next door was a kiddie fiddler in the 1950's.

Many times I think people look at neighborhoods that used to be safe and are no longer as proof of this change, but that isn't the same as society as a whole being more dangerous. Sure, you might have to go out further into the suburbs to find the safe neighborhoods then you used to but they are still there.

 

[Colleen27]

I get her point, but this is not the 1950s anymore. Nuts are bolder these days. I would never do it.

That's part of the author/blogger's point, though. Nuts aren't bolder now, nor are they more prevalent. Crime rates aren't any higher and technology has made it much easier for those nuts to be caught and convicted. But the 24/7 news cycle gives us the impression that danger is lurking around every corner.

I do think she deliberately goes a little to the other extreme to make her point, but did you read some of the comments on her blog? Like the doctor who said a 7yo shouldn't even be left alone in a backyard, much less a park?

 

[luvmy3]

From what I saw on the news, she's talking about kids 7 and up. I think that is a recipe for disaster not to mention against the law according to a lawyer on a local news program. 7,8,9 even 10 to me is too young. Why can't you bring the kids to the park and sit and read a book nearby? When my kids were younger I would go to the park with a friend, let the kids loose and sit on a bench and catch up with my friend. A 7 year old is not equipped to deal with some sticky situations that can come up ie. a sketchy, weird starnger, a bully, a medical emergency. If that makes me a helicopter parents by that lady's 'standards' then so be it.

This is what I do and alot of moms do around here. I don't need to participate in a day to make a statement about how independent my kids are. They are as independent as they should be at their ages, I don't need to prove that by leaving them alone somewhere (public place not our own yard or even our own subdivision).

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

If I were in BC, I'd have no trouble letting my DDs (9 and 11) walk to our local park and play (it was about 300 m away from our house). However, I wouldn't do it here in Santiago...not because I worry about the "Crazies", but because of all the stray dogs roaming around.

I had a lot of freedom to roam as a child, and I really do think we are doing our kids a disservice by wrapping them in cotton wool.

 

[Took]

No helicoptering here. We chose what we believed was a safe neighborhood and have always allowed DD a fair amount of freedom. It's the way I was raised and the way I've chosen to raise her. I also don't believe the world was safer 30 years ago (or whatever). We were just a bit more naive. Bad things happened quite a bit then but we didn't know abou them and, so, didn't worry. Nowadays, the news keeps us scared by telling of every potential (and sometimes real, sadly) horror out there.

Kids need freedom if they are to grow up independent and mature.

 

[agnes!]

Making a day to "officially" do this doesn't seem like the smartest thing to do...bad guys read the papers and the Internet too kwim? I think folks who want to do the free-range bit should do it all the time, like the poster up-thread mentioned.

agnes!

 

[drag n' fly]

My two older don't play into this for obvious reasons however my 7 year old does. I live in a city with a population of over a million people. Our neighbourhood is a safe family oriented neighbourhood. Would I drop my 7 year old off at the park and leave him there. Not a snowballs chance in hell I would.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

This sort of thing is not about Free Range or Helicopter. It is about the safety of your neighborhood. This is the routine in our small, rural town. There are always kids from about 1st grade and up at the park alone, they walk to school alone or to the library. It's just the way it is. Not too much to worry about. I have no problem letting my child go to the park alone here (she's 8). If I lived in Chicago? Different story completely.
Whatever happened to common sense parenting? Or better yet: if the kid is safe, loved, and taken care of, who cares what type of parenting it is. It must be working for them.

 

[bettymae1121]

I grew up in the 80's in the Chicago area (NW burbs). We had a few high profile child abductions and the John Wayne Gacey case. Even so, I was allowed by age 6 to go a few blocks away (as long as Mom knew) to a friends house by myself. By age 8 I could ride all over the sub division. By 5th grade I could ride a few miles to the public pool by myself. By age 13 I was babysitting for kids over the summer, and part of my job was taking the kids to the pool in the afternoons.

Should parents today let their kids have as much freedom as I had? Maybe not to quite that extent, but really, your kids are fine if unsupervised for an hour or two.

 

[anniemae]

My dd is too young to be by herself, but if she was 7, I still would not do it. I just think it is a recipe for disaster. What if a child fell and was hurt, or there was some sort of medical emergency-seizure, asthma attack etc.? Young kids are not able to deal with this.

I do agree that we have to let our kids be independent and they need to learn to play with other kids, but I also think this can be accomplished by the parent staying at the park but not be hovering and dictating what the child does.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Hmmm, interesting thread. Growing up, we were allowed to play all over the neighborhood (which was small) so long as we could hear my mom calling us back inside. If we couldn't hear her, then it was too far.

Now that I have my own children, I am more protective. We live in a more congested albeit nice neighborhood. I let them play in our area with the same rule as my mom, they have to be able to hear me if I call for them. I do have a friend though that uses an actual cow bell to ring for her kids!

I understand letting children have the freedom to run about and be kids. I'm just not sold on taking them to a park and leaving them there. I also think it's a strange idea to make it some kind of a national 'day' too. What about the perverts who read this? They'll be thinking they have free reign on this special day since all the parents will be leaving. Ok, that's a bit extreme but I can't leave my kids alone in a park and feel comfortable with it.

 

[NMAmy]

I not only left dd at the park on her own but I made her walk there without me, too. DD is 19 now but when she was young, she always went to a nearby park with a bunch of kids from the neighborhood. It was not a recipe for disaster. Everybody was fine and learned to deal with scrapes and bruises and disputes on their own.

And I think the lady who commented on the link who said that she'd be watching her kids' every move until they were 18 is out of her mind.