Tacky or not?

[walden]

I just read all 6 pages of this thread. OP, that invitation is beyond tacky! In so many ways!

OK, my recommendation, FWIW, is to send your polite regrets, even if this is your future SIL. My reason for saying this is that any compromise -- like going and not wearing a cocktail dress, leaving early, not staying overnight -- is potentially much more awkward than just declining outright.

Remember, you never, ever, have to give an explanation for declining an invitation, and it is beyond rude for the inviter (or honoree) to require one. If anyone asks, just smile sweetly and say that you are sorry but you have a conflict on that date.

I'd also not discuss the invitation further with anyone who knows you all, some people just thrive on gossip. I'd not even tell your Mom why you won't be going. Future SIL may ask her and you don't want to put your Mom on the spot!

Part of me really wants you to go though, so you can report back here!

 

[Tinkermommy]

That is the tackiest tack that ever tacked! (my homage to Homer Simpson)

Seriously, this is not how it's done.

I would go to dinner and wear something I consider appropriate and then go home to my THREE CRAZY KIDS!!

If I was going to go out in a cocktail dress and drink and have fun and spend the night in a hotel, it would be with my DH and not a bunch of women!

As for a gift, I would go to the dollar store and buy the essentials for a romantic evening with her new hubby. Off brand perfume and cologne, candles, fake flowers, etc. then leave it in the Dollar Store bag and give it to her. That would be no where near as tacky as their invite!

 

[Ilivetogo]

I have to agree with the PP who said to mark the date on your calendar then plan to be quite ill on that day.

That invite is ridiculous.

However, if you DO attend, we wanna see pictures!!

.

 

[devmer]

Here's another vote for tacky. Every bachelorette party I have every been to we have gotten gag or naughty gifts like pasties or whip cream, etc. The gifts are cheap and fun. What's the point of getting regular gifts at a bachelorette party. I think the picture idea is a good one. Maybe even a video recorder for those super drunk moments I'm sure they will all want to remember.

 

[klacey1]

Awful! Incredibly tacky. Besides, if they don't want lingerie, what possibly could you gift?? I would absolutely not attend-- does this sound like the brides themselves or just a tacky friend? If it's the bride, I'd be thinking about finding a new friend!

 

[katiebug86]

You know the invitation is tacky when EVERYONE that has posted has agreed.

I think we made history.

 

[threecrazykids]

Awful! Incredibly tacky. Besides, if they don't want lingerie, what possibly could you gift?? I would absolutely not attend-- does this sound like the brides themselves or just a tacky friend? If it's the bride, I'd be thinking about finding a new friend!

If it were a close friend I'd tell her in a heartbeat I thought it was tacky, however this is my future sister in law. I am not exceptionally close to her and don't want to cause anymore drama.

I guess I should ask everyone the question. What SHOULD I get her for this party if I do attend? Sorry, but I'm not buying anything else off this gift registry, everything that is left is over $50. I also don't even think it's appropriate to bring what is really a shower/wedding gift to a bach. party. I don't feel a gift card is really in order either. So what IS appropriate considering the "stipulations" are nothing naughty and absolutely no lingerie. I was thinking about just foregoing the gift altogether. But if I do decide to get her something anyone have any ideas?

I was thinking maybe a cheap bottle of wine and a couple glasses. Tacky?

 

[Mkrop]

If it were a close friend I'd tell her in a heartbeat I thought it was tacky, however this is my future sister in law. I am not exceptionally close to her and don't want to cause anymore drama.

I guess I should ask everyone the question. What SHOULD I get her for this party if I do attend? Sorry, but I'm not buying anything else off this gift registry, everything that is left is over $50. I also don't even think it's appropriate to bring what is really a shower/wedding gift to a bach. party. I don't feel a gift card is really in order either. So what IS appropriate considering the "stipulations" are nothing naughty and absolutely no lingerie. I was thinking about just foregoing the gift altogether. But if I do decide to get her something anyone have any ideas?

I was thinking maybe a cheap bottle of wine and a couple glasses. Tacky?

I mentioned in my previous post...how about something with the word Bride on it, I saw Tank Tops and hats with Bride bejeweled on it. Or they had a bag with Bride stiched on it, this way she could carry some essentials in it for the day of the wedding, like an emegency type kit.

 

[kaytieeldr]

You know the invitation is tacky when EVERYONE that has posted has agreed.

I think we made history.

OMG, yes!!! This almost never happens here - especially when any kind of opinion is involved!! There's always at least one, if not dissenting point of view, at least more moderate opinion than the majority.

Not this time.

It's tacky. It's so tacky, it's beyond tacky.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I guess I should ask everyone the question. What SHOULD I get her for this party if I do attend?

Nothing. Gifts - especially serious gifts - aren't appropriate for a bachelorette party.

 

[katiebug86]

Nothing. Gifts - especially serious gifts - aren't appropriate for a bachelorette party.

I agree, but since gifts are REQUIRED I kind of like the dollar store idea.

 

[robinb]

I have the perfect gift for the bride(s). A Hooters tank top!

 

[threecrazykids]

I have the perfect gift for the bride(s). A Hooters tank top!

Oh my gosh I SHOULD DO THIS! Subtle, yet confusing enough she'd go when she opened it.

hee hee

 

[Bren's Mom]

That bachelorette invitation is the greediest, tackiest thing I've seen in a long time...and I've seen some pretty tacky and greedy stuff!

I would not attend.

 

[walden]

If it were a close friend I'd tell her in a heartbeat I thought it was tacky, however this is my future sister in law. I am not exceptionally close to her and don't want to cause anymore drama.

I guess I should ask everyone the question. What SHOULD I get her for this party if I do attend? Sorry, but I'm not buying anything else off this gift registry, everything that is left is over $50. I also don't even think it's appropriate to bring what is really a shower/wedding gift to a bach. party. I don't feel a gift card is really in order either. So what IS appropriate considering the "stipulations" are nothing naughty and absolutely no lingerie. I was thinking about just foregoing the gift altogether. But if I do decide to get her something anyone have any ideas?

I was thinking maybe a cheap bottle of wine and a couple glasses. Tacky?

I was one of the people advising you not to go -- but I do understand that you want to avoid family drama.

So the plot changes.

Choice 1: Passive aggressive *you are tacky* tasteless gift in a vacuum. Meh, I'd be SO tempted to go this way, but it might not be the best thing if others are giving expensive stuff. Family harmony and all that.

Choice 2: Tasteful, but inexpensive. I'll have to wrack my brains on that one, because by my count you are already on the hook for your wedding party outfit (was that $$?), 4 or 5 shower gifts, and a wedding present. Oww!!

Choice 3: Subvert the whole occasion. Contact as many of the other party guests as you can (those you love, trust and believe are on the same page as you), dress badly, and combine to make as many gifts as possible totally tasteless spoofs. This chick deserves it!

I'd love to go with 3 myself, but that is a dream scenario. I applaud you for trying to get through this making as few waves as possible.

Seriously, best of luck. You are a very nice sister and will be a kind SIL.

 

[clutter]

Ok, I know you're invited, but are you sure you're supposed to actually go? I'm thinking the other girls are young and without kids. Maybe been a group of friends for a long time. This might be their standard for sending off a bride. (Heaven help the last one to get married! By her turn the others will have young kids and she'll have paid to go to all these bachelorette parties, but no one to come to hers! )

I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better all around if you had something else you had to do that night???

 

[beck0321]

I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better all around if you had something else you had to do that night???

ITA...It's weird because if I were the bride to be in question, I wouldn't really be offended if someone couldn't come. If it was my BFF or something like that then I guess I would be bummed...But then if the bride to be is anything like the girls who wrote the invitation, I'm thinking she might be one of those people who gets p***ed off when things don't go exactly as planned. Maybe not; I don't know her obviously.

If you do go, you should make your gift tacky and funny. I thought that's what bachelorette parties were about. Being raunchy and silly and having a good time!

ETA: This isn't really tacky or funny, but I think a good gift would be some pajama pants and a tank top from Old Navy or somewhere like that. It's a practical gift because she's going to use it, and seems like a "girlfriend"-y type of gift.

 

[krcit]

I wouldn't go. Future SIL or not. I guess I might just go to dinner but it would be in my regular 'going out' clothes not a dressy dress. I would no way give a gift. No way. My bachelorette party(100 years ago) was drinks/dancing with my best friends. The best one I ever went to was my BFF's. We hand-cuffed her to a blow up doll(a man) and took a limo into NYC where we went to a comedy club and a bunch of bars. We also had a scavenger hunt which was hilarious after a few drinks. The pictures still make me laugh out loud.

 

[diz8297]

God bless ya. Cause I can only imagine future holidays with this winner!!

 

[Mermaid02]

That invite sounds like it was written by and for a group of 16 year olds.