Table Manners....

[KristaTX]

You'll have to excuse me now. There are homemade biscuits for dinner and Mrs. Tex wants them all split and buttered before they get cold.

I made blueberry muffins this evening. And I put a little pat of butter inside each one of mine so that it could melt. And I ate those muffins with my mouth, bite by delicious bite . And I placed them on my plate in between bites, all while sitting on my couch with my feet on it.

Would I do that if the President were at my house? No.

We Texas people are so uncouth, with our muffins and biscuits and melted butter for dinner .

 

[tar heel]

I don't care one iota how any of you eat your rolls, but I don't believe this is a great-great grandmother rule that's no longer the accepted way. Google "etiquette" and "how to eat a roll" and you'll get a few thousand hits.

I grew up in a wonderful family that didn't have any eating rules. A lot of stuff that's listed on this thread happened at my house! We're pretty relaxed at our house now, too, but not THAT relaxed. When I'm at a work event, in-laws house, fancy restaurant, etc., I try to step it up a little. If I'm served a roll on a bread plate, I'm going to break and butter it piece by piece.

So I'm surprised all you folks have never been told how to eat a roll -- just like you're surprised *I* didn't know I was supposed to give a gift to cover my plate at a wedding. Now, tell me, do people at these $200 a plate weddings eat their rolls incorrectly?

Do people in other parts of the country send their kids to cotillion to learn this crap or is that just Southern?

 

[luv4u859]

What bad table manner drives you crazy?

Mine is smacking. I can't stand it!!

smacking as well. Its the WORST! All my cousins do it, I am always about ready to smack them lol

 

[TwistGrl101]

I have nothing to add, but great thread!!!

 

[rascalmom]

I'm curious more than anything and trying to figure out the logic of it. The majority of things on this thread are offensive for obvious reasons (germs, rudeness, general disgustingness). But I don't understand the buttering the bread/roll thing.

I just want to know what bothers people in buttering the whole piece of bread/roll and taking bites of it, other than that it is an official etiquette rule. Most etiquette rules make some sense to me, even if I don't always take heed of them all. But this one doesn't.

One person may have indicated that they don't take a bite of anything ever and put it back on the plate and are disgusted if someone else does so in front of them. So if that is the issue, then I can see how it might gross them out (which would be like me having to watch someone slather mayonnaise on something and then watch them eat it ). So if it's a gross-out thing I see why it might be a major pet peeve. But for some people it sounds like it was just ingrained in them so much as a child that it has become an obsession - like the elbows on the table rule that is part of the fun and joking at the '50s Prime Time.

The purpose is to prevent you from making a mess when you eat. If you butter the whole roll, take a bite and then put it down you have to pay more attention when you pick it back up again or you will get butter on your fingers (and take your focus away from the nice conversation you are supposed to be having between bites with your fellow diners). If done this way, you may get the butter on your fingers or soil the napkin with the grease more than is necessary.

And some rolls are crumbly - if you butter it first and then raise the whole thing to your mouth, if it breaks or crumbles, you may end up with a buttery mess in your lap. Smaller pieces are just more manageable.

This is what I was taught - but I wouldn't put the "offense" of doing it incorrectly on my list of peeves....but we all have individual peeves. But I am glad that you asked Krista - I will make sure my kids know the reason behind the rule.

BTW - my peeve is toothpicks in any public setting....not just at the table.

 

[rascalmom]

Do people in other parts of the country send their kids to cotillion to learn this crap or is that just Southern?

Actually, KristaTx and I grew up in the same small town - so I find it interesting that we had different experience with....roll buttering.

And though I'm older than Krista, I don't think it is just a generational thing. I was at a conference last summer mostly geared to college students. One of the speakers talked about etiquette and I do remember the bread thing being mentioned.

 

[Cantw8]

OMG I'm saving this thread for when I need a good laugh. Actually I feel like getting a big ole loaf of crusty Italian bread, buttering the whole thing and letting crust crumbs fly all over eveyone while talking with my mouth opened and elbows on the table

 

[cornflake]

I made blueberry muffins this evening. And I put a little pat of butter inside each one of mine so that it could melt. And I ate those muffins with my mouth, bite by delicious bite . And I placed them on my plate in between bites, all while sitting on my couch with my feet on it.

Would I do that if the President were at my house? No.

We Texas people are so uncouth, with our muffins and biscuits and melted butter for dinner .

That's the thing though.

The reason my parents taught me proper manners including proper table manners and etiqette is because we went to dinner at restaurants together - and with friends, and to school events, and they hoped that I would one day maybe be taken to a good restaurant by a prospective employer, or attend a formal event or attend a state dinner at the White House. They made sure I could.

I also know how to use chopsticks, order and drink various beverages, fold a slice of pizza and properly apply mustard to a street pretzel.

This stuff has absolutely nothing to do with being superior to anyone, it has to do with preparing your children for and eventually being an adult who is able to smoothly and inoffensively deal in many different types of situations, yes, including formal ones. I'd think it'd be a GOOD thing to say 'my child knows enough that they go to a state dinner and his or her manners would be appropriate and acceptable.'

It's not that everyone uses the manners they'd use at a formal dinner or even a nice restaurant all the time. I set the table at home, it's not for seven courses. I CAN set a seven course table, but it's not generally coming up. Do I eat ice cream out of the carton in front of the tv or chuck a carton on the table for people to help themselves to bowls for dessert? Sure. Would I do that for a dinner party? No, I'd serve it properly out of sight.

The issue - as with the bolded - is that people should know how to behave if the President comes over for dinner. A number of people in the thread (I'm not talking about the poster I quoted) have said they didn't or don't know various basic things, or they don't care to know them or they have relatives they've attempted to get to behave more civilly in public who will not.

Also seems that the superior attitude or the attitude in general is mostly on the side of those dismissing etiquette and table manners, which I think is kind of interesting.

Same as how people always talk about vegetarians pushing their beliefs on people - yet in my experience, the ones who get all aggressive and nasty about what people should be eating tend to be meat eaters telling vegetarians they're stupid or what have you.

 

[Reddy]

the only thing that gets on my nerves - is kids running around & screaming
I'm sorry if your child thought the tables made a great place to play hide & seek but you should have them sitting at your table with you not across the resturant

I don't go to the fancy places so maybe they behave there - Chilli's is about as fancy as I get (not really a place fancier where I live)

 

[sunshinehighway]

What if I butter my whole roll and then break off pieces to eat? Would that make me a toddler?

btw, That is actually how I eat bread usually, especially crusty bread. Everyone thinks its weird but I hate crumbs everywhere.

 

[powellrj]

I also know how to use chopsticks, order and drink various beverages, fold a slice of pizza and properly apply mustard to a street pretzel.

This stuff has absolutely nothing to do with being superior to anyone, it has to do with preparing your children for and eventually being an adult who is able to smoothly and inoffensively deal in many different types of situations, yes, including formal ones. I'd think it'd be a GOOD thing to say 'my child knows enough that they go to a state dinner and his or her manners would be appropriate and acceptable.'

Knowing how to fold a slice of pizza and properly apply mustard to a street pretzel is preparing your children for being an adult who is able to deal with many different types of situations?????

OK, I did paraphrase a little, but you do realize that not everyone is served pizza that needs to be folded and my kids have never seen a street pretzel (unless Sams Club counts) to need to know how to apply mustard.

I guess my poor kids will always be hicks because we eat Pizza King pizza that is cut in squares and we have no food served on street corners.

 

[MariDisney]

Knowing how to fold a slice of pizza and properly apply mustard to a street pretzel is preparing your children for being an adult who is able to deal with many different types of situations?????

OK, I did paraphrase a little, but you do realize that not everyone is served pizza that needs to be folded and my kids have never seen a street pretzel (unless Sams Club counts) to need to know how to apply mustard.

I guess my poor kids will always be hicks because we eat Pizza King pizza that is cut in squares and we have no food served on street corners.

I think the PP was being somewhat facetious in that she's saying she's hoping to prepare her children for both the most formal and informal settings they may encounter. I'm pretty sure it's OK to fold a slice of pizza any old way you please.

 

[KristaTX]

I think the PP was being somewhat facetious

I don't.

 

[Coconut36]

I think the PP was being somewhat facetious in that she's saying she's hoping to prepare her children for both the most formal and informal settings they may encounter. I'm pretty sure it's OK to fold a slice of pizza any old way you please.

After reading this thread I doubt that. I mean when someone who butters their entire roll or pre cuts their meat is called "creepy and weird" and someone else says they want to prepare their children to be adults by teaching them the proper way to apply mustard to a street pretzel and fold a piece of pizza I strongly doubt people like that would agree you can fold pizza "any old way" after all they have to teach their child the "proper" way so they are adults able to handle it.

 

[cornflake]

Knowing how to fold a slice of pizza and properly apply mustard to a street pretzel is preparing your children for being an adult who is able to deal with many different types of situations?????

OK, I did paraphrase a little, but you do realize that not everyone is served pizza that needs to be folded and my kids have never seen a street pretzel (unless Sams Club counts) to need to know how to apply mustard.

I guess my poor kids will always be hicks because we eat Pizza King pizza that is cut in squares and we have no food served on street corners.

I was being slightly facetious. However, in this city, yes, that is preparing your children for being adults able to deal with different types of situations! You also need to know how to properly shell roast chestnuts while walking, how to order from the spanish ice people, etc. Street food is all over here.

Hey, everything is regional. I'm sure there's some etiqette to state fair food that I have no idea about, nor did my parents, but you do what you can.

 

[Coconut36]

I don't.

Me either..I think they meant every pretentious word they wrote.

 

[Coconut36]

In this city, yes, that is preparing your children for being adults able to deal with different types of situations! You also need to know how to properly shell roast chestnuts while walking, how to order from the spanish ice people, etc. Street food is all over here.

Hey, everything is regional. I'm sure there's some etiqette to state fair food that I have no idea about, nor did my parents, but you do what you can.

And where are you from exactly that these are critical life skills?

 

[Janepod]

And where are you from exactly that these are critical life skills?

These are critical life skills in NYC, along with how to properly fold a newspaper to read while standing on the subway.

 

[cornflake]

Seriously? Pretentious? It was exactly an upmarket/downmarket slightly tongue in cheek thing though, yes, we do teach our kids to fold pizza and properly mustard a pretzel and etc. Same as you teach 'em to cross the street. How that's pretentious I have no idea. Also, when good manners became pretentious I have no idea.

 

[Coconut36]

These are critical life skills in NYC, along with how to properly fold a newspaper to read while standing on the subway.

Seriously? Someone better tell my in laws that...somehow they managed to live in NYC until they were in their 30s and not have these skills. Same goes for some other folks I know that grew up and spent the majority of their adult life in NYC.

Guess they are just low class people who never knew or were taught these "critical life skills"