Table Manners....

[Ceila]

I'm guessing that gnawing on a turkey leg while walking around DL would be a no-no? Smacking, clicking the fork on the teeth and talking with a mouthful drives me insane.

The other things, I have never eaten pizza with a fork, nor a chicken leg. My fork is upwards and not pointed downwards when it goes into my mouth.

I taught my children not to smack, not to talk with their mouth full, elbows but the rest of this stuff? If the president or a boss notices that someone buttered their whole roll instead of eating one piece at a time, then I figure they have more problems then I do. I'd rather enjoy my food then #1 worry if I'm using the correct fork and #2 watching to see if others at the table are eating correctly. I believe social class=nose up in the air. Just my opinion. I grew up in a family with a lot of money but my parents were relaxed and simple and I prefer that way of life. Guessing the president is never asking me to dinner. Oh well. And, I am definitely buttering that entire roll before it gets cold and hopefully some of that greasy butter will go dripping down my arm.


This has been a fun thread to read, I always like ettiquette threads. I'm a "each to his own" person and thankful for the family and friends that I have.

Did you think that was necessary? Money and manners have nothing to do with each other. I think it's a shame that you don't care if your child's lack of manners costs them a job or a client down the road, or the embarrassment of not knowing which fork to use if they are invited to a formal dinner at some time.

I'm really surprised by the reverse classicism here. Good manners and proper etiquette automatically mean someone is pretentious? Since when? I know some posters here have been pretty rude, but not everyone is like that. I do think that not using good manners says something about the person, but it has nothing to do with class or money. For a child, it just means they were never taught, which doesn't reflect on the child. For an adult, it means that they never took the time to bother to learn, and I do think that indicates a lack of respect for others. Etiquette exists to establish expected behaviors that everyone can follow and fell comfortable in knowing what to do (like which fork to use for which course, etc.). Learning etiquette isn't hard - there are books at the library and web pages with the basic rules.

 

[Magic Mom]

Crusty bread sends crumbs flying and placing a butter smeared piece of bread to your lips could leave you with butter all over your lips, which then leads to lip licking. Lip licking is poor table manners. Yes a sandwich is similar, but then again a sandwich is a casual meal and would never be served at a formal dinner.

What other food would you put the whole portion to your lips, gnaw off a section, then place the bitten food item back on the plate?

Or it leads to using your.... napkin. I can't speak for other posters, but I have never "gnawed" at the table. I have taken a bite of something, but never "gnawed." Crumbs don't fly everywhere, there is no lip licking, just a bite. It must be a rare talent.

 

[mjkacmom]

No I don't attend the State Fair, why is none of your business, but many of my friends were there that night and saw many people killed right in front of them.

Your little smirking smile tells me you knew exactly what you were doing.

This has to be the craziest post on this thread! I got how street food and fair food were compared, but as someone in the NYC area who never even heard of this tragedy, I can't believe you are assuming that's what cornflake was referrring to!

Can we now please discuss men who wear black shoes with brown belts. Baseball caps indoors? Short sleeve button downs with ties?

 

[JiggleStoof]

Eau nose! I'm afraid my condiment application skills are unacceptably deficient. I usually just spread at vat of catsup on the floor and roll around in it, screaming, "I AM A FRENCH FRY!!!"

 

[brunette8706]

Does anyone really eat pizza with a fork????????

 

[jrmasm]

Does anyone really eat pizza with a fork????????

My husband does sometimes but he's weird.

 

[brunette8706]

My husband does sometimes but he's weird.

*
heh heh! You know sometimes when the pizza slice is so soft you can't hold it, then at times I'll eat it with a fork. But to say the correct way to eat pizza is with a fork is ridiculous! LOL! We should tell that to Rachel Ray and Bobby Flay. LOL

 

[declansdad]

Seriously? Pretentious? It was exactly an upmarket/downmarket slightly tongue in cheek thing though, yes, we do teach our kids to fold pizza and properly mustard a pretzel and etc. Same as you teach 'em to cross the street. How that's pretentious I have no idea. Also, when good manners became pretentious I have no idea.

That the the grossest looking piece of pizza ever.

 

[brunette8706]

That the the grossest looking piece of pizza ever.

LOL! You're right! Doesn't look appetizing at all.

 

[punkin]

That the the grossest looking piece of pizza ever.

LOL! You're right! Doesn't look appetizing at all.

Really? It looks pretty yummy to me.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Does anyone really eat pizza with a fork????????

I've been known to eat pizza with a fork. If its greasy or a big thin slice, I worry about dripping something on myself. I don't want to walk around with a grease or sauce stain right in the middle of my chest all day.

That goes for pizza with lots of topping also.

 

[prncess674]

Or it leads to using your.... napkin. I can't speak for other posters, but I have never "gnawed" at the table. I have taken a bite of something, but never "gnawed." Crumbs don't fly everywhere, there is no lip licking, just a bite. It must be a rare talent.

You may disagree and by all means make up your own rules of ettiquette, but it is considered inappropriate to put half bitten food back on the plate. Sure you may say you take dainty bites, but it still doesn't make it right.

My guess, you also think it is appropriate to send an email thanks, or it is okay just to say a verbal thanks, without sending a properly hand penned note of thanks and drop it in the mail for a gift.

 

[TinkerBelled]

I think the PP was being somewhat facetious in that she's saying she's hoping to prepare her children for both the most formal and informal settings they may encounter. I'm pretty sure it's OK to fold a slice of pizza any old way you please.

Heavens to murgatroyd, this thread has gotten bizarre.

Yes, I'm pretty sure that, as the above poster stated, it was at least partially tongue-in-cheek. But it also had a point: manners are about making sure people are comfortable in all sorts of situations, whether they are being able to easily navigate tricky street food while walking around a city or being seated next to someone who grew up reading Emily Post.

It's not about pretzel mustard being applied correctly as in 'with proper etiquette', it's about pretzel mustard being applied correctly as in 'with the least amount of mustard squirted all over you while you walk.' Showing your kids how to do this isn't peculiar or controlling--it's a useful thing to know.

As for 'necessary life skills,' that's obviously an overstatement for comedic effect. (But it's also a nod to how often you eat street food in a big city, and how embarrassing it can be to walk around all day with a giant mustard stain on your front. I've done it. Mustard leaves a weird stain.)

Certainly no one is smirking at death at a state fair. As a lifelong lover of state fairs (albeit ones on the east coast), the accident in Indiana didn't cross my mind for a second with that comment. Instead, it's that pretzels and chestnuts are common street food in NYC, but that the poster might not know the best way to avoid being covered in powdered sugar from funnel cake (hint: try not to eat down wind of your food).

For the bread and butter, surely there's a difference between knowing the correct etiquette for bread and butter and thinking those buttering an entire roll are the worst things ever at the dinner table. There's nothing wrong with knowing the former, and there's a serious reverse snobbery about thinking there is. (Don't get me started on an asparagus fork.) However, it's clearly also not the worst thing you can do at the dinner table, as evidenced by some of the hair-raising examples given here.

That said, of course it's reasonable that it's someone's pet peeve. Pet peeves are, by nature, not totally rational. A pet peeve is something that bothers you far more than the situation actually warrants. A pet peeve of mine: when someone pays by check or takes beer through the grocery self-checkout lane (things that both require personal attention rather than simply machine approval). Are the people who do this actually the worst people ever in the world? No. Do I sometimes want to yell at them, 'I cannot believe you would do this. You are the worst!' Of course. Because it is a pet peeve. And it makes me feel irrational.

Yes, some of the pro-small-bread-bits people have been rather snooty and rigid about things. But no, I don't think it's unreasonable to have bread be your pet peeve, because pet peeves aren't reasonable by nature.

Finally (because this is getting long), you do your kids a disservice if you don't teach them proper etiquette, no matter how silly you think it is, because you never know when it will come in handy. However, you also do your kids a disservice if you teach them to look down on those who don't know the details of etiquette. Because, surely, being gracious, warm, and welcoming of your guests is the best manners there is.

 

[declansdad]

Really? It looks pretty yummy to me.

Looks like a greasy piece of very thin dough with a bit of sauce and some melted cheese. No wonder you need to fold it. Good pizza has much more on it than that.

 

[declansdad]

My guess, you also think it is appropriate to send an email thanks, or it is okay just to say a verbal thanks, without sending a properly hand penned note of thanks and drop it in the mail for a gift.

you mean we need had-written thank you notes for everything for everything?????

 

[Allison]

Interesting that people so caught up in lecturing people on how to properly eat bread and that think it is such an important part of manners are showing no class or manners themselves with their rude and boorish posts on this thread.

 

[Allison]

Looks like a greasy piece of very thin dough with a bit of sauce and some melted cheese. No wonder you need to fold it. Good pizza has much more on it than that.

I didn't even know what it was when I first saw the picture.Yuck. Then again I don't like pizza.

 

[mjkacmom]

That the the grossest looking piece of pizza ever.

Really, let's all run out and try to find some of that world famous Canadian pizza! New Yorkers, you don't know what you've been missing! Dining on a thin, crispy crust, delicious sauce, just the right amount of mozzarella... I don't know why everyone thinks it's so great, when folks can just head up to Canada for a slice.

 

[joviroxx]

This thread is bizarre. And it truly amazes me the things people take offense to. Its scary that its just impossible to have a conversation about any issue without taking offense at something. If you ask me,(which, yeah, I know,nobody did), there is a lot of snobbery coming from BOTH sides of the argument...LOL!

Can we now please discuss men who wear black shoes with brown belts. Baseball caps indoors? Short sleeve button downs with ties?

Always called that the supermarket manager look! (Oh dear, now I probably insulted supermarket managers, didn't I?)

Does anyone really eat pizza with a fork????????

Oh, I do LMAO! I hate eating greasy , gooey things with my hands. People think Im completely nuts. Ill eat it with my hands if I have to, but if I can, I use a knife and fork. Until I get to the crust part. That I'll eat with my hands

 

[SaraJayne]

Threads like these reinforce my desire to never want to visit the upper East Coast.