Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

[mkluvsmickey]

What a great way to start my morning! Another fabulous update Mrs. The King!

 

[PrincessV]

If there were to be a murder in Disney I truly it would be over parade spot encrotchment (yes, I do always pronounce it that way). I swear it brings out some of our most primal instincts. I have been ready to literally bite an encrotching arm that entered my sacred space. I was less territorial about who was let into my labor delivery room during the birth of my kids.

I have to say, I don't know if I appear more menacing than I think or if I've jsut been lucky, but I've never experienced Parade Encrotchment in all my years of Disney-going. Of course, I attend approximately 1.36 parades a year, but still... lucky.

But when enjoying a racing game, I really get to use this needless skill. I always go full out gas. Never hitting the break once. I will let off the gas on occasion, but never touch the break.

The ONLY way to play Pole Position!

After flipping through all the pictures we took, Mr. The King made an interesting observation. In every moment captured with Goofy , Crotch high PS is pointing at Goofy’s business. Every other character gets a gentle hug and a sweet smile. Goofy gets the goods showcased by an accusing finger. Weird. Goofy even.

That's just calssic!

 

[Evette]

I just love reading your trip report. I can't wait for the next chapter!

 

[Mrs. The King]

We sat there too at Caseys and my ds Brennan spilled his gigantic drink too

I love the stories your children told you. Your ds sounds like mine. You never know what your kids will come up with. One time when my dd Courtney was three we were at Wal-Mart. She spotted a Lion King bra. She said, " I want that Lion King bra" I told her she didn't need a bra. She said, " Look you I have Jesus in my heart and I need that Lion King bra!"

That is amazing I loved that story!!!

OMG, that installment cracked me up . I made Bill pause his football preshow to read this installment outloud to him. I was fine until I read about the soda jerk (still sounds naughty) and the limp dog, then I had to stop reading I was giggling too much.

You have a flair for writing, I love it!!

I am so glad you are along for this crazy ride. The jerk thing. I had to word that sucker carefully!

Great installment! You write so well and make me laugh-out loud! Can't wait for more. I can't believe we're still on day one. Y'all sure had an eventful day!!

Day one is over!! That was a really long day Thank you for reading.

For the record...those earplugs aren't always satisfactory.



Dear sweet Jon has a fear of the noise. Can't stand it.

So, I procured myself a set of bonafide gun-shootin' ear protectants. Walked into the gun store and bought myself a set...sans guns. They had different "strengths" I guess. The man wanted to know what kind of gun I was shooting. Ummm...the kind that goes "boom boom" in the sky and makes pretty sparkles???

Yup...so if you ever need to spot us during the fireworks...look for the itty bitty kid wearing gun headphone thingies.

That is awesome. And now I have to look into that idea!

LOVE the tents Unfortunatley we didn't get there this year


He had electronic envy huh?


Great update Deb

Love the tent!! Electronic envy that was exactly what it was!

OMG you just tear me up!

You go for a "full frontal castle" after you eat your "limp dog"

Did you enjoy a good smoke when it was all over?

Honestly, there were children everywhere. Have you no shame?!?!

My shame fell off a while back!!!

Poop in the soda pool

I could never come up with stuff like that

BTW the song my Dad sung after I got stuck in the loo is a real song here

Ok, I am more alarmed now. Does everyone sing the bathroom song over there?

I was at the airport friday and thought of you as I walked into the restroom!


I never knew spilled pop and a hotdog could be so full of inuendo!

Figures. My legacy to the world. Funny bathrooms!

Hey!! I just found your report today! Can I just tell you I have laughed and laughed while reading it!!! Your report is hilarious!!!

I am thrilled you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading!

Oh Gawsh Deb!! My belly hurts from laughing so hard! Steve woke up and asked if I was okay!

Hey carrie! Tell Steve I am not even close to done with you yet.

Hi,
Carrie told me to come by and glad she did. your tr is hysterical. glad I am all caught up. Looking forward to more.

Welcome to my evil lair. We serve cookies here.

Deb,

Another great installment. I may have to refrain from the TR for the next few weeks though, because I'm sure it will hurt too much to laugh so hard!

Sending good though for a swift recovery

Vampire IN

OMG!!! I like a little SNAP to my dog!

I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard. OMG!

We've met people that I just want to throw in my suitcase and take home with us but that would be kidnapping. I'm glad I got to chat with you that night.

Seriously though, it wasn't me,

I wish I was at MK that night watching Wishes. I cant wait to see it!!


I dont know why there isnt more Walle Merchandise out there. Strange.

I love the little jokes too. Very clever!

Vampire OUT!

Vampire In

I love that you like snapping dogs!! And you are the first person to call my clever in my whole life!!

Vampire out

Will this ever stop cracking me up?!


Fellow Wall.e lover here. I cried too. But not quite so much as to make baby legs.


Oh my dog. Oh Don Piano! WHO's having hot dogs for dinner tonight??? Moi. There may be a change in plans.

Mr. The King was proud you liked his picture. Don Piano never gets old. That cat is addicting!!

Deb... you dirty dog!

Those pictures are now part of my collection. All my pics were hazy and foggy looking. I obviously suck as a photographer.

Don't worry, he sucked for a long time too. You have to throw money on your suckiness and like magic, pictures get better. At least thats what he tells me. And yes mam, I am not afraid of a little dirt.

Oh my. I just read your whole TR. I laughed and laughed and laughed some more.

Subscribing!!

<--- subscriber dance Welcome

 

[Mrs. The King]

I know the parade "pushers" well. Just this last trip, I, myself, was used as a camera stand...and I had to accost some VERY deserving foreign tourists who "pretended" they couldn't understand my English directions...DIRECTING them to back up and get back in their spots and quit pushing my kid outta the way. They understood...oh, yes...they DID!!!

And what a coinkidink. I'm crotch high to Goofy too.

No wonder you love Goofy so much.

MTK and Goofyluver... on tour in 2009! I think you could sell tickets, you two!

great funny update.

TMI on the bra.

I think it is funny that out of all the stuff you read the bra was TMI You are just my style!

Vampire IN

OMG that was hilarious.

First of all you do with your bra what I do with my pants. I know, more info that does not need to be known but its so true. All the kids do it too. When the doorbell rings we run around looking for pants to throw on.



I love how you blew the teen away! Nice One!

We always end with the Carousel at Disneyland. Its actually never planned but its so magical that way. Fantasyland is emptying out, the lights and the music are all so joyous. The kids love that ride and its just a perfect way to end an evening!

great update!

Vampire OUT!

Fangs in. O.K. the pants thing had me And I think we are elated. Fangs out

What a great way to start my morning! Another fabulous update Mrs. The King!

I have to say, I don't know if I appear more menacing than I think or if I've just been lucky, but I've never experienced Parade Encrotchment in all my years of Disney-going. Of course, I attend approximately 1.36 parades a year, but still... lucky.


The ONLY way to play Pole Position!


That's just calssic!

You must have a small jiggler. I have had people try to climb me like a light post.

I just love reading your trip report. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Thank you so much for reading!!

 

[KatGarcia]

You never cease to crack me up!

 

[scottny]

Welcome to my evil lair. We serve cookies here

Love cookies.

I think it is funny that out of all the stuff you read the bra was TMI You are just my style

 

[team weasel]

The power of a stinky fart can never be questioned again.

It shall now be referred to as the weapon of choice when removing unwanted parade pests.

Thanks for the great update!

 

[Delay Fish]

Another great update! Can't wait for day two!

But wait! Will the Jiggler ever get its fudge? I'm worried about the Jiggler.

 

[whogirl'smom]

I should know better by now to wear waterproof mascara when I read this report! Just want you to know I look like a soap star after a crying jag!

I cannot wait to see Spectro for the first time next month! I will remember your defense strategy.

 

[linmc1129]

Great update!
I agree about the bra. Just the other day my BIL was at the door. I had to run to my room to put a bra on, before I could answer the door!
Can't wait for more laughs!!

 

[Baloo]

So fun catching up!

This nearly killed me.....

Every other character gets a gentle hug and a sweet smile. Goofy gets the goods showcased by an accusing finger. Weird. Goofy even.

 

[Mrs. The King]

You never cease to crack me up!

Love cookies.

The power of a stinky fart can never be questioned again.

It shall now be referred to as the weapon of choice when removing unwanted parade pests.

Thanks for the great update!

That's right baby!!!

Another great update! Can't wait for day two!

But wait! Will the Jiggler ever get its fudge? I'm worried about the Jiggler.

The Jiggler inspires such devotion. It's dreams, hopes and worries become our own

I should know better by now to wear waterproof mascara when I read this report! Just want you to know I look like a soap star after a crying jag!

I cannot wait to see Spectro for the first time next month! I will remember your defense strategy.

The mascara cry!! It is so pretty, nothing like black tears to scare us to our very soul. The other day I had rubbed my eyes into raccoon like style. Mr. The King was alarmed when he saw me.

Spectro was wonderful. You will love every moment. Except for the light up clowns. Screw clowns. No one likes them.

Great update!
I agree about the bra. Just the other day my BIL was at the door. I had to run to my room to put a bra on, before I could answer the door!
Can't wait for more laughs!!

Hey! At least you went and put one on. I know girls that pull it off when the door bell rings.

So fun catching up!

This nearly killed me.....

It is so true as well. Thinking of Goofy's private situation makes me giggle inappropriately

 

[winkers]

All I can say is.....

 

[DisneyJo]

Ok, I am more alarmed now. Does everyone sing the bathroom song over there?

Only the cool people It's a really old song, almost like a nursery rhyme!


Great idea to set the jiggler on the tween And laughing at the Goofy stuff

 

[Mrs. The King]

So, today I was watching House Hunters. The Dude and his wife were checking out three separate houses. The only comment people on those shows can come up with to say about a prospective house is, “This is a nice space”.

Seriously, it should be a drinking game. Every time a couple comments on space, throw back a brewski. And could it get any more awkward when they inspect the bathroom? What do they say while viewing commode? You got it. “Wow, this is a really great space.” Really, how much space to you need to do your duty? Do these people poop while in a starfish position? Settle down house buying weirdos. Poop like a human and you won’t need tons of space.

Back to the trip report. We had staggered into our room at Pop after our exhausting day. Sleeping that night was like turning off a light. PS would later describe Disney sleeping as “You put your head on your pillow and then it is morning.” The blackness caused by hotel curtains is so complete it is like turning a whole room into your eyelids.

Today was our official day of rest. I determined, as the mama, that my clan needed to restore their batteries. I really had run these kids ragged. It was time for their promised land. The Pop Century pools. Waking up in Disney World. Does anything else feel as juicy? Too far from your last day to even think about leaving. Heaven on a biscuit.

By the time The Kings and Grandma (Grandpa was up and putting a hard day of work in already) had lunged to breakfast they had renamed it lunch. The Dining Plan points were consumed. And I had the Crusted in Something wonderful Chicken. And the Chocolate Cake. That was coming to me.

Come to me cake.

PS had fries with ketchup. PC pushed his food away. I believe Grandma had the same thing I was having and Mr. The King ate something. I don’t remember what.

The game plan for today was rest, relaxation, and shopping cast style. We slapped our suits on our Jigglers, lotioned up and went for a dip. We settled on the Bowling Pin Pool. What I love about Disney Pools, (or Florida pools for that matter) is the water temperature.

You know when you swim through the warm spot in the pool?

You look around accusingly, because although it feels like a little mermaid hot tub, you know it should not be there. Or you created the hot tub and are trying to blame it on your kids. (Not that I would ever do that). Well, Disney Pools are like pee without the yellow.

Here, where I live, pools are always cold. The process of getting in one is complex. First the feet. Swish, swish. “Not bad” your head thinks. Knees, easy. It’s that next part. When the cold really becomes a serious threat. Your body tries to become water tight. And fails. Every hole you have puckers up.

Then you walk around belly button high in water, barely letting your hand skim the icy water. You know what is next. You try and splash some water on your arms, to prepare yourself for submerging. It’s ineffective, yet we try it every time. Getting the girls under is almost painful. I take to screaming like a rabid monkey. The kids plug their ears and Mr. The King rolls his eyes at me.

But this time we are in Florida, in July. Bring out the Pom poms and confetti, the girls are not afraid at all. We float. We play with a stray beach ball. I love stray beach balls.

It is crowded, but not uncomfortable. Grandma proves that she somehow made of pool noodle material. It is truly creepy. She just floats upright, like a buoy. Every seven minutes her left foot gives a little flip and she is good to go.For another seven minutes.

If there was an Olympic sport for treading water for the longest amount of time, Grandma would medal like Michael Phelps. Though Olympic Water treading would probably be a tough sport to observe as a fan. I think I would have to bring a book (anything written by Stephenie Meyers).

Needless to say, we were all there. Some floating, some swimming, all happy, when it happened. Refugees from the Hippy Dippy Pool. The serial pooper had struck. The Bowling Pin started to get too full.

Pools that are too full are just craziness. We have already established that it is a bizarre ritual. With young kids, us parents tend to stand in the shallow end. We crouch down so our shoulders are under the water. Everyone folds their body in a unique way. There are two main poses. Shall we review?

The Butt Jut – This stance requires the butt to stick and the legs to bend.

The Crotch Crab- This stance resembles riding a really fat horse. Except there is no horse. Movement is done by stomping the feet from side to side like a sumo wrestler.

If you are in either stance, you don’t care. Water is wavy and distorts your lower body. No harm, no foul. Until you spot the annoying full grown adult with a pair of goggles suction cupped to their eyes. They have perfect vision. I am sure both parental stances provide an eyeful. Or a goggleful.

Of crotch or butt.

Awkward.

Worse yet is when they swim underwater, close to your jiggler and pop up, spitting a geyser full of water out of their mouths. Wow. Officially, that swimmer just drank my potty water. Well, that is always our cue to leave.

We get ready for the next leg of our day’s journey. Shopping like a Cast member. When you are a Cast Member at Disney, you may shop in two store called Cast Connection (referred to old timers as “The tents”) On the lucky day we got to go, they were giving Cast members (I think?) 30% off the already reduced ticket price. What is in the Tent, you wonder? Well, In the Tent I was allowed into, there is new merchandise. Some of it has past events written on it or past seasons. And some of it is exactly what you would find in the parks, just at a reduced price. In the very back there is Disney surplus. You can find things like dishes, utensils, bedding and furniture.

We truly buy almost all of our souvenirs at the tent. I actually got some spare forks and knives. I got beautiful pillows with hidden Mickey’s on them. The kids got shirts, toys, candy, Christmas decorations and more.

The other tent has lost and found items for sale, and damaged merchandise. I used to be able to shop in there, but this time you had to be the cast member.

I love that tent because what Disney considers damaged and what I consider damaged are two very different things. And this is what makes Disney so different and special. The tiniest imperfection dooms a souvenir to the tent. I love that they care that the stuff they offer in the stores matches the fantasy in our heads.

While I sent Mom into shop in the broken tent. I eyed the strollers. They have lines of used strollers parked like cars. The umbrella ones had a tag of $1. Making them even cheaper today with the extra discount.

PS pipes up. ~ “I don’t want one of those baby strollers”

I think back to the previous evening. I carried her 6 year old butt from the van to the room. It was a very long way. For .75 cents, should I get it anyway, just for that dreaded nighttime hike? More complaining from PS.

I passed on the almost free stroller. That was a great idea. I dreamed of that stroller every single night we lugged her passed out self to the hotel room. What a cheeseball move.

I am going to slap this chapter in the jiggler and be done with it. Up Next: Boma and The Animal Kingdom.
Chapter 13 Above the Crown and Below the Pearls rincess:

 

[Mrs. The King]

All I can say is.....

Only the cool people It's a really old song, almost like a nursery rhyme!


Great idea to set the jiggler on the tween And laughing at the Goofy stuff

A nursery rhyme about the potty! I belong in England! Hey Aunt Jo, my real Aunt Jo has starting reading this trip report. Two Jos. the world is a good place

 

[carrieannie]

I know the crotch crab!! great update Deb!! funny about grandma floating and kicking every 7 minutes!!

 

[scottny]

great funny update.

 

[winkers]

Do these people poop while in a starfish position? .

The mental image of that is too much!!

There's just too much to quote in that update that was hilarious! The thought of a be-goggled adult getting a full view of me in the crouch position!
I hadn't thought of it before, but you're right. Florida swimming pools feel like pee spots!

I love wipeout too! The big balls are my favorite!