Swapping engagement ring/wedding band for anniversary band only

[mamamary]

I say to do whatever you want. Up until last year I wore my wedding band and engagement ring along with my anniversary band that I got about 5 years ago. Last year I had a surgical procedure and had to take the rings off. Boy my wedding ring was really tight. I could not get it off. It took a few days and then my finger looked horrible. So for about a year it's been my engagement ring and anniversary band. I don't know if anyone has even noticed.

 

[mamacatnv]

I'm in the whatever you want to do is up to you camp.

I wear my engagement ring, wedding band and 15 year anniversary band 24/7 all on the same finger - I did have them resized once after the kids and middle age spread set in

After 28 years my rings have dings, scratches etc. To me that symbolizes the dings and scratches our marriage has endured over the 28 years. I personally would never put my rings in a safe, I believe they are meant to be worn. I do get my prongs and channels checked annually. I have prongs repaired as needed and every one in awhile the setting for my main stone is replaced. My ring has a sapphire as the center stone.

I love my rings and enjoy wearing them but if I didn't, I see no issue with switching it up to something you want.

 

[spacemountainmom]

My engagement ring and wedding band are soldered together. My dh later gave me an anniversary band that matches my wedding band. I did not have that soldered to the other two. I used to wear all three most of the time and then went to just the anniversary band while I was working a job where my ring used to catch on stuff all the time. I went back to wearing all three after I left that job. Now I just wear the wedding set since my hands have swollen so much that I can't get them off. I may have to resort to having them cut off.

I will admit that I was very sentimental about my rings when I was younger. I vowed that I would never upgrade them. After 24 years, I have mellowed on that subject. DH has been through 2 wedding bands and currently is not wearing his because his hands are swollen as well.

I would never tell anyone what they should do with their rings and I think OP's co-worker was out of line. If you and your husband are fine with it, switch to the anniversary band.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I don't even have my original engagement ring anymore. We upgraded it sometime around our 5th anniversary to a ring that I love. I still have my original wedding band, but I haven't worn it in a long time. It is very thin, and I wanted a wider one couple years after I got married. I did go through phases with those; sometimes I wore the thin one, sometimes the wider one. Occasionally, I wore the wider band by itself. My original rings were yellow gold, and the current rings are all white gold. I wear the engagement ring sometimes with my diamond anniversary band, and sometimes with the plain, slightly smaller band. Some days, I wear only the anniversary band. It just depends on my mood and what I'm doing that day. My husband doesn't wear his original ring anymore, either. He had to have it cut off and fixed three different times, all when he was using a chainsaw (he was a slow learner on that one). He picked out a yellow gold band with strands of black weaved through it, and that is what he wears now, unless he is using a chainsaw.

I am attached to my husband, not the rings. To me, the rings are simply things, a symbol of marriage. Fwiw, I am 38 and have been married 18 years.

 

[ronandannette]

I couldn't ever do that. To me, my engagement and wedding rings symbolize our promises and vows to one another. An anniversary band is just a gift to celebrate an anniversary, not a stand-in for the rings that symbolize our marriage and life, past, present, and future.

I agree that this is what they symbolize as part of a traditional wedding ceremony. But life happens. I'll be moving on to ring #3 soon and there hasn't really been much emotion tied up in the loss of either of the first two.

My first (original) set was ruined through a "series of unfortunate events". I replaced it with a new solitaire and a band two years ago at Christmas, and wouldn't you know it...I just lost the stone out of the solitaire a week ago. I don't plan to replace it. We're celebrating 20 years in September and I'm thinking I'll just go with the band I have until then and get something nice and different to switch it out then.

 

[MomofKatie]

Married nearly 24 years- I wear only my engagement ring. For some reason, when I wear both bands, I get an itchy red rash on my ring finger (maybe because I can't get my skin totally dry when I wash my hands if there are 2 rings??), so I stopped trying to wear both at the same time. My engagement ring is prettier, and has a diamond, so it is what I wear.

Editing to add- my engagement ring isn't entirely original, either- for our 5th anniversary, DH got me a larger center stone. When we got engaged, we were both poor, so the original diamond was very, very small. The replacement stone is still on the small side (the setting wouldn't look right with a big diamond), but a little more substantial than the chip we started out with.

 

[tina.tina]

DH and I have been together almost 25 years and married 18. I wore a promise ring and an "I love you" ring he got me after we were dating a while and had an understanding (too young to be engaged). When we set a date to get married, he gave me an engagement ring. I put my other rings in my jewelry box. I wore my engagement ring and wedding ring until I got pregnant. I was able to take off my wedding ring but my engagement ring had to be cut off due to swollen fingers. After our DD was born, I put my wedding ring back on. On our 5th wedding anniversary a year later, he got me an anniversary band and I've worn that with my wedding band ever since.

I really don't understand the idea of "upgrading" your diamond but I feel like our relationship had evolved and changed and the jewelry I wear reflects that.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

This is one of those do what you want situations.

When it comes to my own rings, I'm more in line with your coworkers point of view. I feel like the ring he proposed with will always be the genuine engagement ring and the one I start wearing on my wedding day will be the one and only wedding band. Stand-ins and replacements wouldn't be the same to me because they wouldn't be the ones that were present in those moments. However, I understand life happens. Things get lost and damaged and if that happened I'd replace them and refer to the new ones as my engagement/wedding rings. I can't imagine I would ever willingly choose to upgrade or replace my rings, though. Granted, the newness of my ering hasn't worn off yet, and I haven't even started wearing the wedding ring, but still. I'm the type of person to get attached to things with sentimental value. Everyday I still wear two inexpensive rings that he gave me 15+ years ago because they mean something to me, so I think I'm pretty safe in predicting that I wouldn't mess with my wedding set. The diamonds in my ring are plenty big for my tastes and the style is a simple three-stone trellis setting, so I don't see it ever looking particularly dated in the future. If I ever do find myself wanting something flashier or liking a different style, I'll just buy something to wear as a right hand ring.

 

[RitaE]

Wear whatever you want.

I wear a sapphire band and a plain gold ring on my left hand and then an Irish wedding band that my husband bought me several years ago on my right hand. I actually haven't had my original wedding set out of the safe for many years.

 

[BigAlsGal]

Anyone can do whatever they choose. As for me my wedding band/engagement rings will only be removed when I'm cold and dead! (Or he is which ever comes first!)

 

[crz4mm2]

I wear a hawaiian diamond band that I bought myself!! LOL. DH is fine with it.

 

[kimblebee]

I will never update my rings. I may get an anniversary or family ring one day but that will not be an upgrade, just a new ring.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Do what you want with your rings, you are the ones who are mwearing them, not your coworker.

When we got married I found a lovely vintage ring but couldn't wear it while I was cooking and cleaning and I was nervous about losing the stone so I just wore a simple, cheap band. Later when we had a vow renewal, I got a Hawaiian band with a small diamond chip.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think you should wear what you like.

I have changed things around a bit myself.

 

[lauradis]

I stopped wearing mine daily or any ring for that matter.

I only wear them for special times now.

Do what you want.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Do what you want. It is just between you and your husband.

I could never stop wearing my wedding/engagement ring, but they are not the originals. Thirty days after my wedding, I was held up at gunpoint and the original set were taken from me. My replacement set is just as important to me as the first set. It is the meaning behind them that is important.

I know some people that have a tattoo instead of a ring, and that is important to them.

 

[pryncess527]

It's not a choice I'd make, just like I would never want to upgrade my set. But I have no strong opinions about other people's marriages or jewelry.

 

[jbthi]

It's not a choice I'd make, just like I would never want to upgrade my set. But I have no strong opinions about other people's marriages or jewelry.

 

[OurBigTrip]

This is one of those do what you want situations.

When it comes to my own rings, I'm more in line with your coworkers point of view. I feel like the ring he proposed with will always be the genuine engagement ring and the one I start wearing on my wedding day will be the one and only wedding band. Stand-ins and replacements wouldn't be the same to me because they wouldn't be the ones that were present in those moments. However, I understand life happens. Things get lost and damaged and if that happened I'd replace them and refer to the new ones as my engagement/wedding rings. I can't imagine I would ever willingly choose to upgrade or replace my rings, though. Granted, the newness of my ering hasn't worn off yet, and I haven't even started wearing the wedding ring, but still. I'm the type of person to get attached to things with sentimental value. Everyday I still wear two inexpensive rings that he gave me 15+ years ago because they mean something to me, so I think I'm pretty safe in predicting that I wouldn't mess with my wedding set. The diamonds in my ring are plenty big for my tastes and the style is a simple three-stone trellis setting, so I don't see it ever looking particularly dated in the future. If I ever do find myself wanting something flashier or liking a different style, I'll just buy something to wear as a right hand ring.

My thoughts exactly. I don't care what other people do; that's their business. But unless I lost my rings, which is very unlikely to happen, I wouldn't consider changing them.

 

[Dizlvr]

Dh bought me a past present future ring when our 3rd child was born, my plan was to only wear that but he was genuinely upset that I wouldn't be wearing my wedding band too. Since it obviously meant alot to him, I wear my band on top of the other ring. I'm sure now he wouldn't care if I don't wear it (we've been married almost 20 years), he doesn't wear his band anymore because its too big now.