I have to start by saying
Thank You!
You guys are the greatest and most loyal audience a show could ever hope to have on its side!
After dominating Thursday night at 8pm for nearly 10 years, Survivor moved to Wednesday night. This was a big move. What would happen? Would our audience stay with us or would this be the beginning of the end?
Well, not only was Survivor the #1 show of the night in all the key demos, holllla
!
but our ratings actually went up from a year ago. That just does-not-happen in television these days.
Its all because of you. You stayed with us. You changed your viewing habits. Whatever you were watching on Wednesday nights, youre not anymore.
So.. once again, we say thank you.
Okay now onto the episode.
Hellllllo crazy woman #2! You thought Wendy was a little wacky, hang on, cause here comes Holly!
Its only day 4 or 5 and already she is losing her mind. Let me preface all of this by saying that I actually really enjoy Holly. I think shes a good person and she just had a very rough first few days, but man she was going bonkers.
As is so often the case, we didnt have enough time to show you all the different ways that Holly was losing her mind, but I dont think you need to see much more than her taking somebodys expensive dress shoes, filling them with sand and tossing them in the ocean
for what appeared to be no good reason.
On second thought whats crazier? Sinking a pair of $1600 alligator shoes in the ocean
or paying $1600 for a pair of shoes?! Dan
sixteen hundred dollars? Really? For a pair of shoes? Alligator, no less? All of it just feels very wrong. Maybe Holly did you a favor sinking those things. Then again youve probably already replaced them and plan on wearing them at the live show in December!
Note to Jimmy T: the reason nobody is asking you what you think is because youre always telling everybody what you think. God gave you ears for a reason try listening for a change. Man. I have a lot of patience but I will be honest, Id be hard pressed not to vote out Jimmy T regardless if he was in my alliance, if he had six idols, even if his uncle was Les Moonves, my boss. Okay, maybe Id put up with him if indeed his uncle was Les Moonves. But Id want proof first. Otherwise el gonzo.
Hey Marty, dont start patting yourself on the back. Youre not out of the Probst doghouse either. Granted, you are much more controlled, much more subdued and a far better listener than Jimmy T. But your determination to get rid of Jimmy Johnson is irrational. Its envy. Pure envy, brotha. You know Im speaking the truth. You should rethink it
the man can lead. Hes calm.
Did you see the way he talked Holly back into the game. He was very comforting and he did it without judgment. Thats leadership. He understands that people have ups and downs. No big deal. He knows the key is to simply get your head back in the game and everything will be okay.
Marty and Jimmy T Im gonna say it again ease up on Jimmy J. Theres a time and a place for everything but dont vote him out based on spite. You two should give The New Earth a read.
While were at it Naonka, theres still plenty of room in this doghouse, so come on in and plop it. Ill even give you a bone to chew on since youve been yapping like a dog these first two episodes.
Naonka: (On Kelly Bruno and her artificial leg)
If we have to race and that leg falls off
shes outta here.
And with that line, Naonka moves to the front of the line for Americas Favorite Survivor. Touching.
Naonka, did you see Kelly B work her way through that mud and the hay? You may wanna think twice about challenging her to a race! Personally, that was all I needed to see. Kellys leg is absolutely no disadvantage. The girl can move.
Naonka: I dont want anybody to think that Im a B-I-T-C-H.
Hmm
uh.. trying to figure out how to say this without offending
well, that might be tough, so I guess Ill just say it straight up
no beating around the bush
gonna just lay it out the way I see it.
Naonka, as far as wanting to make sure that nobody thinks youre a *****
. Girl, its too late. That ship has sailed.
You might be able to turn it around, but for the time being, you are the ***** of the show, and the little that I know about you, Im pretty sure youre okay with that title.
In fairness to Naonka, as lippy and sassy as she is, she did make me laugh often. She does have a good sense of humor, she just needs to think a little bit before she speaks. Maybe her and Jimmy T should sit down for a little meditation together. Go to China. Meet a Monk or something.
And Im not even gonna get into Naonka stealing somebodys socks. These people are out of their friggin minds! Its only day five!
Thank God Fabio is still sane.
THE HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL
Marty: (to Jill) I got the idol. I got the idol baby. I got the first idol(realizing the error of his statement)- WE got the first idol!
Jill: (knowingly) We got the idol.
Damn Marty. You are out of control. Jill was the one who figured out the clue. She then came and told you where to look. Then she came and inspired you to keep looking and when you finally find it, the first words out of your mouth are
I got it!? I? I?
Maybe I should just send you The New Earth and not wait for you to get it yourself.
MEN ARE FROM MARS
Chase, I know you prayed to God to bring you someone you could trust. But who are you kidding? You dont trust Brenda because God sent her to you, you trust Brenda for the same reason every guy would trust Brenda shes hot. Just say it. Own it. Itll feel so much better. Everybody can appreciate falling for a beautiful woman. No slight to God intended, Im just saying that this decision didnt need anybodys blessing. Its a slam dunk.
But to everyone else if youre in an alliance with Chase, you need to get out now! Hes crazy over Brenda and hes going to tell her everything. Someone put a rope around his neck and drag him back into the shelter. Bring him here to the Probst doghouse. Youve got to do something or hell bring you down.
TRIBAL COUNCIL
That was not editing I asked one opening question and Shannon just started talking. Much like Wendy, he just wouldnt shut up. The more he talked, the more he influenced the tribe to vote him out. When someone is that aggressive its hard not to have a reaction. Shannon was aggressive.
I think he sealed his fate when he asked Sash, out of nowhere, Are you gay? And then followed it up with, New York is full of gay people.
Too bad the finale for this season is in LA, woulda been kinda fun to get a group and take Shannon out to a couple of gay bars in Manhattan.
When I saw the message Sash had for Shannon as he voted, I laughed out loud:
Sash: You should have known better than to mess with the biggest bachelor in NY. As they say in Nicaragua, Hasta La Vista!
Im not laughing with or at Sash, Im just laughing because its so damn funny. Its just funny watching Sash with that confident grin of his proclaiming to be the biggest bachelor in one of the biggest cities in the entire world. Sash, we must hang. I want to watch you work your magic, baby! Maybe you, me and Shannon should all go to the Big Apple and party! Hollllla!
PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW
Shannon its with mixed emotions that we say goodbye. Your one-liners were fantastic and had you lasted longer you would have given us many more laughs. But the longer you lasted the more unlikable you would have become. Its true. Doesnt mean youre a bad guy, it just means that in this environment you
were
well.. unlikable. Im only speaking about this game. Im sure your life is full of love and great friendships. Survivor just wasnt your destiny.
In closing, I will say what I say to all guys who are much bigger than me. Shannon, please dont kick my *** when you see me again. I voted for you to be on the show you delivered a lot, you left too soon, but you werent long for the game. You just came on too strong.
See ya next week!