Surprise Pregnancy at 45

[reggiemcp]

Ok dis friends - need some reassurance. Here is the story I am 45 years old, soon to be 46 and found out yesterday I am 17 weeks pregnant with child #2.

Thought I was going through menopause, have a history of infertility and PCOS, needed fertility treatments to have my son and was 40 then. Never imagined this could happen. Husband and I are in shock. Had no symptoms, except lack of period, which is a pretty regular thing to me. Went to doc to see what was going on and wham!

We are excited about the idea but terrified, no prenatal care until now and while I don't drink or smoke just my age makes pregnancy an issue. Feel guilty and stupid I had no clue.

The thought of late night feedings and diapers makes me want to cry. I though we were done with all this. I know what a miracle it is and obviously meant to be, but I am scared. I will be 68 when this child graduates college, trying to make peace with the idea.

I know I will adjust to all those things, but am still getting used to the idea.

Any encouraging thoughts or words?

So much for our November trip, we will have a 3 1/2 month old. Did I also mention that we have tossed all baby stuff and have to start over again.

 

[laracroft]

Congrats!!! How amazing! My Aunt was 45 when she got pregnant for the 3rd time with my cousin. She had a 22 and a 25 year old. She has been a great mom and even had a grandson the same year her son was born. That baby was destined to find you!

 

[Mathfailure]

Congratulations! I feel you are still getting used to the idea, but what a gift to you and your family.

Your son will have a playmate, you will have another to love.

My children are 4 and a half years apart and opposite genders, I never thought they would play together but they did and still do at times.

You will be fine, but truly must pace yourself. My last one was adopted when I was 41, and I am not the oldest mom at anything. Later children are so appreciated. What you lack in energy you will make up for in wisdom.

As far as stuff, you know now what you really needed and what you did not use. So you can just get the most practical.

Enjoy!

 

[MagicKisses2]

Hi Reggiemcp,
Well, I can't say how it is to be 45 and pregnant, but I was that child years ago. My Mom had already had 5 kids, was 46 and her yougest was 12!! Then I came along! I was born in December and she turned 47 at the end of the month.

She told me she was terrified when she found out she was pregnant again! She had already raised 5 kids and her oldest daughter had just been married. I think she was going through all those thoughts just like you. How old she would be when I was in school, graduating,etc. She was very honest with me and said that she cried for 3 months after she found out she was pregnant again! Then I came along and she was thrilled. She said that I kept her young and active and that I was the best thing that could have happened.

We had a wonderful relationship, she was the best mom. Did I realize while growing up that my mom wasn't the typically mom (in regard to age)? Yes. But I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

My mom passed away in 2006, she was 82 and we had a great life together. She saw me grow up, go to college, start working, get married. She was the most active person you could imagine.

I'm sure you are scared, but just think of the wonderful times ahead!

And all the Hollywood stars are having babies after 40!! JK!!

Good Luck! I wish you all the best.

 

[emtmom0104]

WOW....CONGRATS!!!!! So unexpected but sooo welcome in my books! I think it's absolutely wonderful that you were able to concieve. I am a young mom, 27 with 3 kids, but after my last pregnancy was told if I do concieve again it would kill baby, me or both of us. My youngest was born premature after I went into labor at 30 weeks. I don't have any experience being an older mom but I agree with PP that what you will lack in energy you will make up with wisdom. I'm sure you guys will be wonderful parents to this one as well. Think about it logically though, when you become preggo, even as a younger mom, how many visits do you really have with the OB before 20 weeks? You go at 5-6 weeks and then every couple months in the begining, not really giving you a ton of prenatal care. Even after having a high risk pregnancy with 2 of my kids that didn't change, just at my visits they were a little more thorough. I am over here doing the happy dance for you, I'm excited for you! Best of luck and congrats!!!!!

 

[C&G'sMama]

Congratulations!!!

Like a previous poster I can't speak from the experience of being 45 and pregnant but I can speak to having a mom who was 46 when I was born. My parents were classic Irish Catholics so they took what came to them and had 7 kids spanning 23 years (I'm the youngest). Her gaps were a little less as I have a brother 4 years older than me and a sister 11 years older than me.

My eldest brother was 23 when I was born in April and he got married the following June. I see pictures of my mom in the "mother of the groom" outfit and I can't believe how wonderful she looked. She didn't get it until after I was born.

I am 45 now and my mom will be 93 in October. And I'm perfectly fine (my DP and kids may not always agree, but that's another story(lol)). Mom still lives on her own and still drives (daytime only and mostly to church) and she is a eucharistic minister for shut ins in her building, she's been known to go to McDonald's and Friendly's with me and my kids (even though she's been doing that FORever). I have grand nieces and nephews older than my children. (the oldest grand niece will be 17 in April) Mydd will be 10 in May.

My mom is amazing. You will be too.


Keep us posted!!!

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Congrats and chin up mom! You can do this (again)!

You sound like you are in good shape to have carried baby so far, even without prenatal care. Just hop on those vitamins and do your best from here on out.

As far as getting rid of all of your stuff... we are going into garage sale season so I'd start looking. It may not be your dream stuff, but it will get you through without having to take a major hit to the bank account. PLUS a lot of stores are starting to put out spring stuff, so you can start stocking up on warmer clothes for next fall/winter!

As for your trip, can you push back a couple of months? We took DD when she was 6 mo and she was a dream to care for in the World - our 2.5 yr old was the one who required the most work!

 

[PixiePlanner]

Congratulations! My mom has always said that having children later keeps you young.

 

[Bugsmom73]

Congrats. I would take stock in what you REALLY need and then go from there. We found that there were quite a few things we didn't need when it all boiled down. Essentials- Good quality carseat and stroller, a crib, and a decent quality diaper bag.

 

[momtolots]

Congratulations! I feel you are still getting used to the idea, but what a gift to you and your family.

Your son will have a playmate, you will have another to love.

My children are 4 and a half years apart and opposite genders, I never thought they would play together but they did and still do at times.

You will be fine, but truly must pace yourself. My last one was adopted when I was 41, and I am not the oldest mom at anything. Later children are so appreciated. What you lack in energy you will make up for in wisdom.

As far as stuff, you know now what you really needed and what you did not use. So you can just get the most practical.

Enjoy!

This is soooooooooooo true. My last two are adopted and they really do keep you young. You also realize what is really needed, and I'm sure you will find that all the stuff you thought you needed with your first, you didn't really need. For my first, she had everything. By the time I got to my last two, I realized that the stuff was not that important. In fact with DD5, we only had 1 day notice before we picked her up at the hospital.

 

[HermanTriplets+1]

Just joining in to add my excitement for you ! I am also 45 so I think I can imagine the feeling I would have if I was facing being Mom to a newborn again. However, having also gone through fertility treatments myself, I also know that these things are just not within our control and you have to embrace fate and know that this was meant to be -- - that I truly believe. Apparently you were meant to have another one! Don't worry - you'll do great. Get good medical care, eat well sleep well, and enjoy this miracle! (Oh, and it's still ok to complain sometimes, even if this is a miracle!)

 

[scrappingizlife]

Congrats. What a blessing you have there. I know that it's unexpected and a little scary, but God never hands you anything that you can't handle. You're going to do great. I totally agree with PP about garage sales. I also have both girl and boy clothes, in boxes that I would be happy to sell you cheap. My kids are 2 and 1. and I have tons of stuff that they never even wore. I hate throwing things away, and I always think, I'll take this stuff to Once Upon a child and sell it, but never do. I went baby clothes buying crazy with the both of them. So I litterally have diaper boxes full of clothes.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I had 4 children and thought I was done. I had cancer and chemo and was told the chemo would put me into early menopause. That was fine, I was sure I was done with having kids.

Well fastforward - I was 39, thought the cancer had reoccured since I was feeling so tired. Never imagined I was pregnant. I even had a colonoscopy with demerol. You guessed it I was pregnant. After the shock wore off and after I talked with the doctor who did the colonoscopy I dealt with it.

There was 12 years between the 4th and 5th. We didn't want her to feel like an only child so we started all over again. I had number 5 at 39, number 6 at 41 and number 7 at 42. Yes I too had given away everything when we bought the new house a year before I got pregnant!

I can't imagine my life without them now. It was a huge shock, and I don't mind telling you I was a little overwhelmed with the thought of starting all over again. It was the BEST THING!

Of course my youngest is only 8 months older than my 1st grandson so there are some wierd moments. Like the year we looked for preschools and colleges all in the same summer! You gotta laugh!!!

 

[The Hendies]

Congrats! And Blessings! It'll keep you young!

 

[NotUrsula]

Congratulations and welcome to the club. We're a very special bunch, you know.

DD is 32 months,and I turned 48 last week. (She's healthy as a horse, btw.) My son is 12.

I come from a line of last-minute Moms on both sides. My mom turned 48 one week after I was born, and both of my grandmothers had their final children after age 45.

PS: DD went to WDW when she was 10 weeks old. I carried her in a sling and she was SOOO easy. Don't cancel your trip; you'll have a great time with the baby at that age.

 

[crysplefty]

Congratulations! Just like time will ease your pain when you lose a loved one, time will ease your nerves.

 

[mariterry]

I am 51 with an eight year old. Got pregnant at 42 and was 43 when she was born on xmas day. Our other children are now 32, 25 and 21 so she was quite a shock too. But I can honestly say she has been our greatest joy, not that we love the other children any less, but we are at such a great stage in our life to enjoy her. Being older we realize more how quickly the time passes and have slowed down to enjoy her childhood so much more. This time we are not trying to start our careers so she has had many more trips to Disney than the other ones did, and so many more experiences because we are not willing to put them off. We know they grow up so fast and we take every chance to do so much more with her. By the way she was born perfectly healthy and my doctor explained to me that age is not as much a factor as they previously thought. I wish you the best of health in your pregnancy and know you are going to find so much joy in this new baby.

 

[djp0630]

Congratulations, how exciting!! I think the baby is a miracle! I hope you have an easy and safe 9 months and enjoy your new baby!

 

[clairemolly]

Congrats! I am somewhat unexpectedly pregnant with our 3rd child and am almost 16 weeks. We had just planned a trip for October when we found out. We are still headed to WDW in November with a 14 week old in a sling. I figure it's the time he or she will be the easiest. Just a thought that may work for your family as well.


Good luck!

 

[MariDisney]

Congratulations!! I am finding this thread so encouraging. I needed fertility treatments with my DD (now 10) and we are currently undergoing them again. I am about to turn 41. Although I want another baby more than anything, I have been wondering if the whole thing was just folly. Hearing these stories this morning has been wonderful for me!