Summer Camp Donations --Update Post 89

[Mouse House Mama]

I think we are reading different threads here. The OP said a child came to door asking for donations. Not BEGGING. There is a HUGE difference. Again, no one knows what kind of camp this child was going to anyway. If you don't want to donate, DON'T. The snide comments are off base. I also hope you wouldn't donate to any of the other situations I posted previously in the thread because there is not a world of a difference between donating to church camp, hurricane survivors, medical bill benefits for sick children, etc. I see not a lick of difference. In all scenarios you shouldn't have a house/kids, etc. if you cannot 100% FULLY support them REGARDLESS of what happens right?

I'm not going to go back and forth on this thread. Yes, I support my child, I don't send my child out for donations, *I* have no issues if someone does, period. I have the power to say no if I want to. I'm so sick of the higher than mighty throwing in that "if you can't support your kids don't have them" crap. I see earlier in the thread someone mentions scholarships for camp. Didn't we have an entire discussion about this in the past where people were berated for applying for scholarships? You can't win on here, you can't. I'm certainly baffled how our society became such a stingy self righteous one, although maybe that's just the DIS because I don't know anyone IRL with the attitudes of many on here.

I'm done with this topic, enjoy your day

Knocking on the door asking for money for nothing in return is begging. Donations are a completely different ballgame. Donations help those in need not those in want.

 

[ilisao]

Honestly? I really see it as being no different than a Girl Scout going door to door to solicit cookie sales to help pay for her summer camp. Or Cub Scouts soliciting door to door selling popcorn to fund summer camp. Or school children soliciting door to door selling fundraiser items for their school so they can win a prize. So to answer your question, no I wouldn't be bothered.

It absolutely is different. First, a scout is providing a product, something tangible. He or she isn't just asking for money. Second, a portion of that sale goes back directly to the troop to assist for activities for all the kids. Not just one. when a school child goes door to door for a fundraiser, they are raising money for the school (hence the word fundraiser).

It is very different than a kid going door to door asking for money for HIS personal use. Camps and daycare are expensive. But if you choose to have kids, you have to find a way to provide for them. And door to door begging is not the correct. way. I pay for my kids' activities. If we can't afford something, we don't do it and find another alternative.

 

[KAMLEM]

Is it "Webelos Week in the Woods" camp? DH and DS are going in July. DH has to get a required physical to go!

Around here kids need physicals for all camps.

 

[lisajl]

Is it "Webelos Week in the Woods" camp? DH and DS are going in July. DH has to get a required physical to go! We had to pay over 300 for the both of them though.

Yes, it is. They are not required to go, but it is a good thing. Plus, this helps him work towards the Arrow of Light award. We are hoping all the boys get it for next year. My oldest son got it and it is so nice to see it on his Scout uniform. DS-14 is only at Star right now. He has a lot of work to do to get to Eagle!

Hope your son and DH have a great campout!
Lisa

 

[lisajl]

When my boys started in scouting, I thought I was going to die when the whole scout popcorn-selling thing started. I had always said that over-my-dead body would my kids go door to door selling. However, the scoutmaster and others convinced me that in the case of the scouts, it wasn't all about the selling itself. It is supposed to be about character building. Besides, they were helping to build scout camps, send kids who need scholarship money to camp and maintain the whole Boy Scout system. I will say that my now grown sons tell me that selling that popcorn taught them more about life than just about anything. They had so many doors slammed in their faces, walked so many miles, learned what made a good sales pitch and what didn't. They learned so much from their failures to sell. They remembered with gratitude any person that ever bought from them. They learned what kind of a buyer they want to be some day. They learned which cultures tend to be generous, stingy, suspicious, etc. My older four sold about $20,000 in popcorn (combined) in a 4-5 year period. One year we had to rent a U-Haul to get it all home.

One rule I did keep was that my kids were not allowed to sell to friends, family or neighbors that knew us well. Why? I didn't want anyone to feel pressured based on the relationship with us. We have a lot of sons and were in this for the long-haul. I told them that if people wanted to support B.S.A. they would be happy to do it for any scout--even one they don't know personally. If they bought, it would be a sign that they weren't buying out of guilt, but because they wanted to support the organization. It has been a good system for us. We have not burned out our neighbors who live near us and know us.

Having said that, I have supported my neighbors when their kids have raised money for soccer clubs, girl scouts, etc. I have been happy to do so.

After that long story, I want to give my opinion to the O.P. about her situation. I would be irritated and would have to make my self "get over it" and make a plan with DH on the kinds of things "we will never get involved with from here on out". I know my son's scout camp cost around $250(?) this summer plus expenses. People with their own growing children have their own expenses for those kids!

Belle...Just wanted to acknowlege your three Eagle Scouts, plus the others that are working hard to get there! Nice job mom and dad!
Hopefully in two years we will have our first Eagle Scout!
Lisa

 

[CarolA]

What baffles me is the response on here?

Lots of carrying on over ONE $20 donation! LOL!

Lots of "you need to get your DH on the same page" over $20.... Now to some of us that's a lot of money but I didn't get the feeling the OPs kids weren't getting dinner one night this week because of that $20.


And of course it's the DIS.. TONS Of "JUDGEMENT" Knowing VERY little of the story (even OP admits her DH was paying little attention etc) We KNOW the wrong thing was done LOL!

 

[mikkishelles]

Does anyone want to donate to MY summer vacation? Maybe if I send my kids knocking on my neighbors' doors, I can stay at the Poly instead of Pop and go deluxe on my dining plan!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

What baffles me is the response on here?

Lots of carrying on over ONE $20 donation! LOL!

Lots of "you need to get your DH on the same page" over $20.... Now to some of us that's a lot of money but I didn't get the feeling the OPs kids weren't getting dinner one night this week because of that $20.


And of course it's the DIS.. TONS Of "JUDGEMENT" Knowing VERY little of the story (even OP admits her DH was paying little attention etc) We KNOW the wrong thing was done LOL!

I don't really think it was over the $20 but rather the principle of it. You can't afford summer camp or x activity so go ask the neighbors to fund it.

 

[GJM]

They would be out of luck at my house - I hardly ever have cash on me!

My DS sells the popcorn for cub scouts and I don't let him go to our neighbors or door to door, I just hate it. That money they raise supports the whole troop ( buy us it does), it doesn't pay for him to go to camp, because he isn't going to cub scout camp. Some of that money may be used for it, but it doesn't pay for him.

I do think it is weird that he came looking for money and wonder if the mom even knows about it. To me that is begging, just like when they stand outside the door at the store asking for money.

 

[bluefairy13]

Honestly? I really see it as being no different than a Girl Scout going door to door to solicit cookie sales to help pay for her summer camp. Or Cub Scouts soliciting door to door selling popcorn to fund summer camp. Or school children soliciting door to door selling fundraiser items for their school so they can win a prize. So to answer your question, no I wouldn't be bothered.

We'll be over later today to collect for the "We need a new lawn mower fund." What can I put you down for?

 

[disykat]

Yep, it's the principle of it. Selling a product etc. is very different than just asking for donations. Otherwise Safeway wouldn't have to give me groceries to get their profit, I could just drive by and drop off some money if I felt like supporting them.

I got a letter from a friend whose son is going on a Mexico mission trip. I haven't heard from her in two years, but they want me to donate. I was very tempted to send her some money along with a letter asking for money for my son's Mexico mission trip - since he's going this summer too! It hadn't occured to me I could just ask people for money, my poor kid is washing cars, etc.

I'm taking my kids on an educational trip to Washington DC that pretty much mirrors the trips many of the "teen tours" take. I wonder if the neighbors would like to contribute?

 

[scammermom]

Knocking on the door asking for money for nothing in return is begging. Donations are a completely different ballgame. Donations help those in need not those in want.

You go, Mama!!

 

[tonilea]

Knocking on the door asking for money for nothing in return is begging. Donations are a completely different ballgame. Donations help those in need not those in want.

ITA!

 

[Dancemom03]

I agree with PP, sure lots of debate on both sides over $20.
I do wish there was a way to find out exactly what the funds went to. I see a huge difference in asking for a sports camp or daycare tuition vs asking for money that will be used to better someone else's world by "campers".

Would it make any difference to you all if money being donated was for a service project like fixing up a senior's house without plumbing, storm cleanup, books for "reading buddies" in under-developed neighborhoods, ect?

I'm thinking there's no way my neighbors would hand over twenty dollar bills without knowing it was for a GOOD cause. They're just not that generous here. Gee, maybe I should move to your neighborhood!

 

[kaytieeldr]

Aye, and there's the rub. Three times, you mention "selling" - but this boy wasn't selling anything. He was merely soliciting donations. I think the OP is 100% justified in feeling 'crabby', or any other negative way.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The one that got me was the park district dance parents holding signs saying "Help send our children to Hawaii". Apparently they were competing in a national competition. My first thought was that I'd like to go to Hawaii with my children so maybe I should stand on the corner and ask for donations

Truth in advertising! I would donate to you in an instant, because you'd be out there in the afternoon when I'm on my way home from work - and in that traffic I'd appreciate something so entertaining and, well, blunt. I will occasionally give a dollar to someone standing out on the island between lanes, holding a sign that says, "Okay, the truth is I need the money to buy a beer".

But I will not donate to an individual or group - such as, but by NO means limited to - Pop Warner, or cheerleaders... anybody that could be DOING something to EARN the money. Girls soccer at the local high school does several car washes a year. Love it (in fact, they got some dried-on egg off my car, long story, that no automated car wash ever did - but I digress). Football team does "canning": Standing in front of stores, or on the islands, with cans. Nope.

For that matter, I will not donate to a relative who simply sends out letters asking for donations to fund a trip that (a) he doesn't HAVE to take and (b) his mother can CLEARLY afford to pay for herself.

I think we are reading different threads here. The OP said a child came to door asking for donations. Not BEGGING.

How do you determine/define the difference? Demeanor? Asking = donation, but pleading = begging? Soliciting money for any purpose without offering some tangible item or service in exchange, is, ultimately, begging.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I never put money in cannisters from kids on baseball teams, cheerleaders, bands etc. who just stand in front of our local Walmart and beg for money. I think they should do something to earn the money like a bake sale, car wash, yard sale,etc.

I agree 100%!

I think we need to start a nationwide, group effort to ban this activity.

We'll need money.

Can I put you down for signs? We'll need someone to scope out street corners and storefronts... I'll go make the cans...

 

[hentob]

I agree 100%!

I think we need to start a nationwide, group effort to ban this activity.

Your statement comes on the day that a friend of mine was told her child needed to "canvas" (what a nice way of putting it ) in front of the local mini mart. Canvass=begging for money.

She wrote a note (with a $20 donation) that her child would not be participating, as she does not allow him to ask people for money under any circumstances....let alone ask strangers.

Well, she heard through the grapevine that the president of the baseball association is "going to give her a piece of his mind" and "who does she think she is"

Surprisingly, people she is friendly with have also been gossiping behind her back. The ol' "she thinks her child is too good to stand and beg for money" attiude Um, yeah. He is too good to stand and ask strangers to give them money I think any child is better than that.

I think they are embarrassed that they didn’t think to stand up for their children, so they will go with the sheep and have their children beg, thus making her out to be the snob.

Keep in mind, she did give a donation, but the president of the association is leaving that part out when he badmouths her.

I feel badly that these Stepford Wives are talking about her like this. She is a good person and a GREAT mother


Fund raising by youngsters is OUT OF CONTROL in this country.

I seriously think these organizations need to start publishing treasurer's reports.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Okay, well, it doesn't sound like the people involved will listen to reason, but in addition to her VERY reasonable explanation why her child would not beg for money ("Alms, sir? Alms for the poor?"), she is also welcome to adapt my opinion that groups trying to raise funds should be expected to DO SOMETHING for (i.e. EARN) the money.

And if that doesn't work, there's always her local newspaper.

 

[WendyisDarling]

OP, here. This has provided some interesting replies. Truly that was what I was seeking. Not looking for any marital advice . I thought it was an odd situation. It rubbed me the wrong way, although, I promise I haven't lost a minute of sleep over it. I was curious how others here would feel about the situation.

I think I wrote this before, but for the record, DH only contributed $20 because he felt he would seem like a cheapskate if he gave less (one thing he did notice was the other displayed $20's). Normally, he wouldn't give that much. We did talk about it immediately and I explained that we have such enormous camp expenses that I didn't want to fund the neighbor's camp, so if anyone else asks to simply say "we have contributed our max to summer camps this year, sorry". He's fine with that. We are on the same page I am doubtful anyone else will come around and ask. (DH doesn't do the bills so he has no idea how much camps and the associated supplies cost our family.) Likewise, DH didn't pay close attention or ask questions because the details don't interest him. But, the $20 did not deprieve my family of a meal as a pp correctly assumed

The "incident" is over for us. But, still I am glad to know that I'm not the only one to think it crossed the line.


As I read the replies, one thing I wonder is those who think it is OK, do you have kids that go to camps? Not judging, just wondering. Before kids, I probably wouldn't have thought much of it, but now that I am paying out for my own, it is different for me For others it may not make a difference. We live in a neighborhood, where likely 80%+ families are paying for summer camps. To me I think of when the school has a fundraiser and all the kids in that neighborhood go to the same school, you wouldn't send your kids to ask the neighbors who also have a kid at that school to buy something, kwim? (but, for the record, I don't ask others to participate in any fundraisers except for one: that goes 100% to charity and is tax deductible. Even then, I send an email out first asking if it is OK for DS to come by so they aren't put on the spot.) A lot of personal reasons I don't like the soliciation for contributions along with paying myself led to my personal dislike of the situation.

With all that, I thought, this would make an interesting topic for a thread and it certainly has.