Stupid injuries!

[Explodo]

I had grown a bunch of onions a couple of years back and was in the process of harvesting them. I had them all pulled up and sitting on the porch while I was trimming off the tops of the onions with a pair of heavy duty scissors.

As I was cutting away, my 3 year old daughter walked up to see what I was doing...during the explination, I promptly almost cut my left index finger off...it was literaly hanging by about a 1/4 inch of skin at the first knuckle. I grabbed a towel and covered it up and put pressure on it while yelling loudly for my wife to come and help me. She came...and gave me the look of "You have got to be kidding me...I know you have a spider in that rag"

My daughter...being 3, thought this was hysterical. My wife on the other hand passed out cold when I showed her the wound, resulting in me trying to revive her while not bleeding to death right there on the back porch.

So a trip to the emermency room and a couple of surgeries by the orthopedic dudes...My finger is intact and still works!

 

[castleview]

I ran into a sliding glass door when I was 8 and lost my 2 front teeth

I did that when I was 39...didn't lose the front teeth however. Damn, people who keep spotless glass doors.

 

[minkydog]

Well, during a Spring Break vacation to the beach I did a full body launch into a parked truck. I had just stepped out the car and didn't notice a curb right beside the car. As I closed the car door I stepped backward, tripped on the curb and went headlong into a 3/4 ton truck. I ended up with a severely bruised thigh(from hip to knee) and WHIPLASH!

 

[tazdev3225]

My tag says it all. I was vacuuming the stairs and sucked my thumb up into the vacuum. I got some strange looks at the ER over that one. When I was younger I went skiing and never made it up the mountain. I fell off the tow and sprained both my ankles. I don't ski anymre.

 

[liamsaunt]

I have so many stories, but I think the top one has to be the time that I was at an arcade playing a game similar to dance dance revolution--you know, where you step on the spots that light up? Well, I was really into it and not paying much attention...and I fell backwards off the platform and broke my wrist.
It speaks to my dedication that I got back up and completed the dance sequence in progress before heading to the ER.

 

[AboutTheMouse]

I spent a lot of time in the ER during my childhood. Stories like breaking both arms when I fell off the monkey bars. I had casts up past my elbows - both at the same time.

Weirdest one was a few years ago as an adult - I broke my hand in two places playing Whiffle Ball. Yep, whiffle ball. That one resulted in two surgeries and 24 months of physical therapy. I still can't fully make a fist or straighten my little finger and never will be able to. Thank you FIL for the bunt!

 

[MickeyCrazedMom]

I don't have any myself but am willing to embarrass friends and family.

DH tore a tendon playing bowling on the Wii. That was a long, painful injury!

My neighbor's son had a bowling party and was given a souvenier bowling pin that all the kids sign. Mom is cleaning the closet, reached for something, the pin falls and smacks her on the head. Was knocked unconscious and had a concussion!

 

[englishteacha]

I got my finger shut in a car power window. Didn't break it, but had a major deep tissue bruise. That's my dumbest one yet. I'm a klutz.

 

[MarilIncredible]

My top two:

I singed my eyebrows when I peered into a pot in which I was boiling currants in some sherry for a christmas cake - it was a gas stove and the liquor ignited at the exact moment my face was over the pot and it was the first time I'd cooked with liquor that strong.

I was au natural, hoping to surprise my husband when he came home one night and I was kind of dancing down the stairs. I slipped, kind of near the top, and thudded down on every step until I hit the bottom. I was alone, except for the dogs, but I was so horrified and embarrassed that I'd fallen that I just got up, ran upstairs and threw on some sweats and was no longer in the mood at all. A day or two later, when DH saw the huge bruise on my thigh/rump, I just told him I slid down the stairs, and left out the part about the naked dancing.

 

[mebbradley]

I fell on a grape at Walmart. You know, those tiny little things that taste good and typically are found in the FRUIT section? Yeah, well one of those little things was loose on the floor of the CEREAL section. My foot hit that little thing and down I went.

I ended up spraining my ankle and doing major damage to my hand. I crushed the first knuckle in my pinkie and cracked the second knuckle plus tore the tendons off the bone in that pinkie which caused it to permanent now hyperextend. All because of a GRAPE.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Well, just last night, I shut the bedroom window on my finger...

The one for which I get the most strange looks is when I dislocated my shoulder while washing my car. I was crouched down, scrubbing tar off the bottom of the doorframe while bracing myself against the wet car with my left hand. My hand slipped, I hit my head and shoulder against the car, which popped my shoulder out.

To this day, if I stretch a certain way, I can pop that shoulder out and back in.

 

[leight]

My brother was the stupid injury king when we were kids- tried riding a bike backwards up a hill-fell-got a concussion. Never quite figured that one out.

When he was about 11 it was after a hurricane & he tried playing tarzan on several fallen trees in the woods-his homemade rope broke and he sliced open his underarm. Got about 20 stitches and that armpit grew hair a year before the other.

Was in vocational class being taught how to repair lawn mowers in 10th grade. One weekend when he mowed the lawn at home- he forgot to turn off the mower before sticking his hand under it. Sliced the tip of his middle finger off. Left a huge trail of blood throughout the house. Reason I bring that up is because I was a senior and at work. When I came home, there was no one there- no note or anything and I found this huge trail of blood. I was pretty freaked out! Funny thing- the finger was sliced to just above his knuckle but he grew a nail back anyway.


I made up for my lack of injuries in childhood by a dumb stunt when I was 24- I drank a margarita at lunch with my BF and we went to the beach afterwards. He was getting really weird and serious while we walked and I was really tipsy. So I started dancing away from him and did a pirouette(I think) over a guard rail- but I didn't leap high enough and I cut my knee open and fractured my ulna when I landed! First time I ever had stitches and a broken bone in the same stupid move! I've learned never to dance outside after I've had a drink!

 

[texasthumper]

Both of mine involved my right foot. I sprained it two years ago while doing the Bunny Hop at the annual polka festival. Hobbled around for a good month.

I dropped a heavy coated baking sheet corner-first on my right middle toe about three weeks ago while unloading the dishwasher. The nail is still black and it's still a bit swollen and sore. It had better be healed in time for the polka festival on May 28!

But I have retired from the Bunny Hop.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

I have no idea how I did it and therefore it makes it my most stupid injury. Only happened about 3 weeks ago.

I noticed a small bruise under my big toenail. Gradually my foot started to swell and the bruise got worse so I went to urgent care. I didn't drop anything on the toe or hit it or anything. The bruise just appeared.

Diagnosis: Stress fracture with blood clot under the toenail. Was off my feet for 4 days with that.

The blood clot/bruise continues to get worse but remains only on the left side of my big toe.

 

[MulanUSAF]

Oh where do I begin...

Last Sunday, I was wearing flip flops and rolling the trash can out to the curb. Well somehow it managed to get away from me and in the process of chasing it down, my foot got ran over and I lost a toenail. Excruciating pain like no other!

A couple month ago, I was cleaning my bath tub when I lost my balance and fell face first into the tub. Smacked my nose hard and it bled profusely for at least 20 minutes. The grisly blood splatters in the bathroom looked like a scene out of a horror movie. Oh, and I managed to rip the shower curtain rod out of the wall as well.

My most spectacular injury/accident/epic fail took place at my senior year violin recital. After finishing my piece, I gracefully curtsied, stepped off the stand and tripped on my floor length dress. The audience of over 500 watched me stagger across the stage like a drunk, losing a shoe in the process before falling backwards off the stage. Somehow, I managed to protect my expensive violin from being smashed into kindling. But I needed 7 stitches in my scalp after the doctors pulled all the pieces of my broken hair clip out of my head.

Oh, my dad actually caught it all on tape. Even the part where mom frantically rushed over to see if I was okay. Yeah, you can tell where his priorities were. He later sent it to America's Funniest Home Videos but it didn't make the cut. (pun intended) Talk about insult to the injury.

 

[minniecarousel]

Mine is a Wii injury: doing Wii Fit without shoes (as they recommend) and later my plantar facsiitis flairs up something awful! No more WiiFit without shoes!

 

[Myothername]

When DH was about 5 or 6 there was an old push mower in the yard somewhere. It did not have a motor on it. He wanted to see what was under it so he lifted it up, looked under and let it go. Next thing he remembers is waking up on the couch with a huge knot on his head and his mother hysterical.

 

[Uuaww]

I can top for most epic chain of events that ended up badly.

When I was 17 my dad told me to trim the tree with electric hedge clippers. Had to prop a metal ladder against the house to reach the branches I was currently doing. Somewhere in my haste I accidently cut the cord of the hedge clippers with the clippers itself, the exposed end then fell on the metal ladder and proceeded to electrocute me. Well I of course fell off the ladder and onto cement which gave me a concussion. I was paralyzed by the electrocution/concussion that I was able to see the ladder slowly tilt then come down... straight at me, hitting me in the head, knocking me out and giving me concussion #2. Worst effect of the injuries? I ruptured my inner ear or something stupid like that and got vertigo. Which was just awful.

 

[FergieTCat]

I stepped off of a curb and partially tore my Achilles tendon. It never healed properly (long story, but it's too late now) and I have tendonitiis.

I've done other stupid things, too numerous to mention here.

 

[Mandychelle79]

I was at camp, teaching some drunks how to line dance ( I was stone cold sober), tripped over a twig too small to even roast marshmallows, and sprained the top of my foot. Yeah not the ankle, the top of my foot. When I went to the hospital the next day they said they had never seen this injury before.