Stuff no one told you before having kids

[MamaLema]

So there's a gazillion pregnancy and parenting books out there. Most have great advice on what to expect when having a baby.

But no book I've read so far told me how much 3 growing boys eat I know I shouldn't complain because I've seen a lot of thread on kids food issues but HOLY MOLY! I have to say I'm shocked!!

Any parenting surprises for you?

 

[golfgal]

That nature can override nurture and you can end up with a child SOOOO different from the parents!

 

[cruiserkaren]

I don't remember reading that at some point in time I'm going to be at my wit's end and that it's ok to wish I was sitting under a palm tree far, far, far away from my beautiful dd. It took me about 2 years to feel ok with needing a break and not feeling gulity about it.

 

[vellamint]

That after years of teaching them to sleep through the night and finally getting a decent nights sleep.... that a time would come when they are teens when you want to go to sleep at 10 and cant because they still JUST WONT GO TO SLEEP!!

I want some sleep!!!

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Nobody prepared me for how much I'd love them. I had no idea you could love someone like that.

Also how bad you feel if they get really, really sick. Or how if they break a leg or something you want so much for it to be you instead.

And how much you worry even when they get to be upper-teens. I always kept waiting for the day that they'd be older and I'd quit worrying so much. I guess it just never ends...

And as much as people told me about the teen years, I really thought, "Oh, not me an my kids!" The first time I heard that he wouldn't go into the WalMart with me, because I looked like a hillbilly. The first time I heard, "God! You are so lame!" And especially, my personal favorite..."That makes no sense! You think you can...This is no fair! I hate you!" People can talk about it 'till the cows come home, it is waaay different when you hear it from your kids.

...although here on the DIS, no kids say stuff like mine. All the parents have perfect teens with whom they have intellectual agreement, and total family harmony!

 

[YourMajesty]

A cute baby sleeping in a car seat is really just an illusion....

 

[VSL]

I don't remember reading that at some point in time I'm going to be at my wit's end and that it's ok to wish I was sitting under a palm tree far, far, far away from my beautiful dd. It took me about 2 years to feel ok with needing a break and not feeling gulity about it.

I think I'm going to struggle with this one.

Nobody prepared me for how much I'd love them. I had no idea you could love someone like that.

 

[Robinrs]

I would say that no one told me how much I would love them but my Mom DID! She made me sit down and listen to "If I Could" when I was pregnant. "If I Could" was a beautiful song written by a mother trying to explain to her child that she would cry her tears IF SHE COULD....

I remember my Mom telling me "this is how much I love you and this is how much you will love that child..." God I miss my Mom....

But I have to agree with MamaLema about FEEDING A GROWING BOY ... whatisUPwidTHAT?????

I used to call my son "my cheap date", because he only would eat 5 chicken nuggets, a handful of french fries and water for any lunch date. .... Now that's a quarter of an appetizer!! He changed about a minute after he turned 12, he's now 13 and I need a LOAN to feed him. My coworkers laugh at me because I bring food to work with me to keep him from eating it! I now hide food in my clothes hamper (I used to use my trunk but he found that place) and my closet. This is the only way I can portion it out sensibly!! ugh....

Robinrs

 

[jennyl772003]

How fast they grow up/learn.

Everyone tells you they grow up so fast, but of course I never believed them. What really shocks me is how fast they learn things. It seems like just yesterday he was learning the alphabet and counting, now he's reading chapter books and learning fractions! EEEEK!

 

[CookieGVB]

Nobody told me when they said "Have two...they'll have someone to play with" that it also meant they'll have someone to fight with...day...after day...after day...

 

[MouseWorshipin]

He changed about a minute after he turned 12, he's now 13 and I need a LOAN to feed him.Robinrs

You think it is bad now??? Wait a couple years. And if he plays football (baseball is no biggie, track is bad, but football is ridiculous!), you might as well sell the house.

My son hasn't ONE OUNCE of fat on him, but can eat an entire pizza, plus some wings, and can we have popcorn with it? Or, 2 Double Cheeseburgers plus 2 giant fries, and if you aren't going to finish those McNuggets, can I have them? ...and then be hungry AGAIN 2-3 hours later. The younger ones aren't quite as bad, but they're packing it in, too. We're spending over $1000 a month on flippin' GROCERIES!

 

[lecach]

No one told me how absolutely horrible the first few months can be. DS didnt sleep well - only a total of 11 hours a day. At least most of those at night though. He had colic we think. He HATED his carseat and would scream constantly while in it. So we couldnt go far. He wanted to be held constantly. He just wasnt easy at ALL. But by the 4 month mark he became a much better baby. And now I cant imagine life without him. I now feel its my mission to warn first time moms that the first few months can be very difficult but it DOES get better. Just so they arent as caught off guard as I was.

 

[Lynn CC]

When you think of having a baby the joy is so great that you don't think about the heartache the day they go to college. You get so used to having them around for 18 years, then they're gone just like that.
I'm so glad DH and I spent A LOT of time with DS because before we could blink he turned 18 last year.

 

[princesspumpkin]

It's funny that you made this thread, because i was thinking of doing something similiar. When I watch A BAby Story and hear the new parents say that nobody told them this and that, I think "really?". I thought that everyone knew (or had heard or read) that #1 - breastfeeding CAN be difficult to master in the beginning or #2 - breastfeeding isn't always so hard. #3 - newborns may not sleep for long intervals in the beginning or #4 - newborns can be very sleepy and have to be awakened to eat. #5 - after delivering, new moms can be exhausted and sleep deprived or #6 - new moms can be exhausted and sleep deprived - but still not able to fall asleep! And #7 - new moms are still in pain AFTER they give birth. I had heard all of these things for many years before I had DD from various sources (friends, family, books television), but it always surprises me when I hear so many new parents say that they never knew these things could happen. Go figure!

 

[Sonya]

I was told many of these things and I went I know this. But I didn't really KNOWit. You can't really know until you have been there and felt it. I had no idea I would love him so much, or that the vomit really WON'T matter when it's your own kid, or that those first few months would be a horrible blur. My mind knew but my heart didn't.

 

[tiff211]

Nobody told me when they said "Have two...they'll have someone to play with" that it also meant they'll have someone to fight with...day...after day...after day...

Mommy, she's talking to my friend! Make her stop! What friend? (silly me, her invisible friend!). I said you, you and you go lay down. And they looked at me like I was crazy!!!

 

[rabx5]

The terrible twos aint got nutin on teenagers

Trust me, I have 3 and I would take 3 two year olds any day

Jodi

 

[CEDmom]

I used to call my son "my cheap date", because he only would eat 5 chicken nuggets, a handful of french fries and water for any lunch date. .... Now that's a quarter of an appetizer!! He changed about a minute after he turned 12, he's now 13 and I need a LOAN to feed him. My coworkers laugh at me because I bring food to work with me to keep him from eating it! I now hide food in my clothes hamper (I used to use my trunk but he found that place) and my closet. This is the only way I can portion it out sensibly!! ugh....

Robinrs

This cracks me up because I have 3 older brothers and my mom was constantly putting notes on food so they wouldn't eat it. They thought nothing of polishing off 1/2 a roast as a snack when it was meant for dinner. My mom used to go to the grocery store almost every day when they were teenagers.

I'd say the biggest surprise is how much my DD is like me even though there's no biological connection and how deeply I love her. It goes to my soul.

 

[SC Minnie]

Once they get to be about 8 you automatically become stupid.

 

[NMAmy]

That after years of teaching them to sleep through the night and finally getting a decent nights sleep.... that a time would come when they are teens when you want to go to sleep at 10 and cant because they still JUST WONT GO TO SLEEP!!

I want some sleep!!!

Oh, my gosh, tell me about it. After all this time, I am on dd's FORMER early morning schedule--early to bed, early to rise and all that and then she switches into a night owl on me at 15. I'm just as tired as I was when she was a baby.

I also had no clue how fast the time would go. It doesn't seem like 15 years ago that she was a baby. Not even close.