Strongest evidence yet against spanking

[Toad_Passenger]

I imagine this is the behavior that necessitated the "spankings" in the first place. The spankings didn't *cause* these behaviors...they were there all along.

I agree. IMO, the defiant behavior is probably more attributable to some underlying psychological or neuro-chemical problem, rather than the spankings.

 

[jodifla]

Spanking is taking the low road in parenting, almost every time. A few exceptions, sure. But one should be able to discipline a child effectively without resorting to brute force, which teaches all the wrong lessons.

 

[Rora]

I was spanked and I turned out just fine.

 

[threecrazykids]

I've seen some pretty strong evidence against spanking in my special ed preschool class. Those who are spanked at home have no problem hitting the classroom staff when things don't go their way at school. They have figured out that we won't hit back. We have two kids right now whose parents have told us they spank their kids for discipline. Those are the two who have no qualms about hitting, kicking, spitting at and biting the staff and sometimes the other kids. I've seen one kid hitting his mom outside when she was dropping him off. Apparently, it's not working! We encourage positive reinforcement for discipline. Give the child something to work for (like a trip to the park, 1/2 hour of video game play, a favorite dessert after dinner, etc.). Don't give the reward if the behavior doesn't improve. Be prepared for worse behavior when you don't give the reward but don't give in. Eventually it will get better. It works for us all the time and we've never once hit a kid!

I worked in daycare for quite awhile while going to college and I never saw a direct correlation between parents who spanked and parents who didn't as far as kids behaviors. There were kids whose parents swore off spanking and did the "time out" thing or the "get down to their level and tell them what they did wrong" and those kids were no better behaved than those who's parents swatted them on the hand or behind.

Just my opinion but I have YET to find a kid who hasn't proven their parents wrong that one way of discipline should be the same for every child. Each child is different and sometimes the discipline forms may be as well...

 

[ilovepcot]

But one should be able to discipline a child effectively without resorting to brute force, which teaches all the wrong lessons.

Brute force?

 

[shortbun]

I just have to laugh at all of you who say, 'it was fine for me and it's fine for my kids!'
Love that you have no goals of improving your parenting skills. I'd love to know why not.
While I never told my child he would not be spanked, I have never laid a hand on him. He is polite, compliant, loving, at 14-a straight A student, a leader, confident, calm and motivated to improve and be a good role model to younger students(he mentors). He's certainly not the brat so many of you describe.

I drive a school bus and I could tell you down to the last child I transport, who was physically disciplined and who was disciplined thoughtfully with the child's best interest in mind. The world is full of violence. Must we add to it?

 

[TheZue]

Brute force?

If it's not brute force what is it? Arguably carrying a toddler to time out is brute force, but I can't imagine what else spanking is. It's entire purpose to inflict pain or fear which only works because the parent is larger.

 

[themilesfamily]

I don't understand how no spanking somehow means no discipline. My kids aren't spanked, they hear no several times a day. And my youngest howls like he's about to get spanked when he's getting hauled off to time out, I can't think of a single reason to EVER hit that boy. For most kids the pain isn't the deterent, it's knowing they're in trouble. I was spanked too, and I'm fine too, doesn't mean we can't do better than our parents for our kids.

This is exactly how I feel. I went through a horrible year with DD when she was 3/4 years old. I really, really, really just wanted to haul off and smack her on so many occasions. (I was hit as a child and that's how things were dealt with.)

But instead we did time outs, talked things through with her as best as we could with a young child, and tried to show patience and love.

We now have ZERO discipline problems. We know that as a family we can talk things out when there are problems. That was the lesson we taught and the lesson we all learned.

I really think things would be different today if I'd hit her when she was bad. It may have made me feel better in the short term, and certainly would have been easier, but what would I have done to my child by hitting her? Nothing good that I can think of.

 

[mhsjax]

This study came out today:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20100412/hl_time/08599198101900

"Compared with children who were not hit, those who were spanked were more likely to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, get frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against others."

"Now researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet against the use of spanking: of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were more likely to be aggressive by age 5. The research supports earlier work on the pitfalls of corporal punishment, including a study by Duke University researchers that revealed that infants who were spanked at 12 months scored lower on cognitive tests at age 3."

"Spanking may stop a child from misbehaving in the short term, but it becomes less and less effective with repeated use, according to the AAP; it also makes discipline more difficult as the child gets older and outgrows spanking."

Can we just agree to stop hitting children and animals? -- i.e. living things who can't defend themselves against someone bigger and stronger. There is a mountain of evidence as to the negative effects of hitting kids.

Love this quote. "When you hit and humiliate a child all you're teaching him is to hit and humiliate."

I spanked my kids, this study is totally opposite of my kids behavior, they have never hit anyone, and they haven't had a temper tantrum since they were 2. I simply refuse to put up with it. Also there are studies out there that say if you spank at an early age then you don't have to spank or discipline as much later on in life and In my case my kids are proof. Nw I never spanked them very hard, just a swat on the butt, and I will also admit that my younger one was immune to spanking so I did have to learn another way for him.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

And 88.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Signed,

He who was proudly disciplined via spanking as a child by loving parents and is not now a serial killer later in life.

that statement is 96.8 percent accurate with a 3.87 percent margin of error, but only in the northern lattitudes.

I find it funny that "research" like this crops up every once in a while. sounds like someone must be working on a PHD thesis.

I remember growing up, I got spanked every once in a while (I will admit it was deserved) later all my parents had to do was raise their voice a bit and that was enought to know I was quickly approaching the "threshold" of bad behaviour.

I raised my kids the same way. I rarely had to give them the tush swat.

They raised their kids the same way. I noticed my daughter in law only had to raise her voice when we were at Disneyland for them to correct their behaviour. (not easy with boys hopped up on sugar!)

(funny side note, once she said "If you don't behave, I WILL find a place with no video cameras!!)

 

[mhsjax]

I just have to laugh at all of you who say, 'it was fine for me and it's fine for my kids!'
Love that you have no goals of improving your parenting skills. I'd love to know why not.
While I never told my child he would not be spanked, I have never laid a hand on him. He is polite, compliant, loving, at 14-a straight A student, a leader, confident, calm and motivated to improve and be a good role model to younger students(he mentors). He's certainly not the brat so many of you describe.

I drive a school bus and I could tell you down to the last child I transport, who was physically disciplined and who was disciplined thoughtfully with the child's best interest in mind. The world is full of violence. Must we add to it?

You jusst describe my kids and guess what, they were spanked.

 

[shortbun]

Brute force?

When the person delivering the physical punishment is over 5' tall and over 100 lbs with muscle and the child being hit is all of 25 lbs-80lbs, yep it's brut force. You are forcing your child into compliance with physical punishment and you are much bigger than they are. Imagine Shaquille O'neal comes to your house and says, "you are going to be hit by me about 5 times on the rear end because you did not pay your taxes on time.' The hitting has nothing to do with the crime and Shaq is so big that being hit by him-because he is soooo much bigger than we are - is very scary. Or-does your boss come to your office with a switch and swat your legs because you turned in the report late? Brut force.

I got spanked a few times. My mother grabbed me by my hair, dragged me to the ground and kicked me too. Neither gave me a real need or desire to do what I was told. It did not make me a good person. It did not improve my self worth nor make me feel loved or lovable.

Why would anyone hit a child?

 

[threecrazykids]

I just have to laugh at all of you who say, 'it was fine for me and it's fine for my kids!'
Love that you have no goals of improving your parenting skills. I'd love to know why not.

Who's to say that NOT spanking makes you a better parent? Just because some Doctor/statistic TOLD you it's better not to spank? I have a child who (according to your description above) could be a clone to your son...and he HAS been spanked before. They both sound like they will turn out to be productive members of society/great fathers in the future...

 

[declansdad]

I don't understand how no spanking somehow means no discipline.

Who said this?

 

[luvsJack]

OK, who spanks an infant? I generally do not believe in spanking, but I have done it once or twice, but NEVER a baby that age. It's not like she can understand why you are doing it at that age.

I do believe in spanking but I agree with you 100% here. That is just way too young, imo. Maybe they are refering to the little hands swats/taps some parents use when they say, "no, no, don't touch that" I never did that but I know some parents that do.

Spanking is taking the low road in parenting, almost every time. A few exceptions, sure. But one should be able to discipline a child effectively without resorting to brute force, which teaches all the wrong lessons.

Spanking (as in SPANKING--not hitting, beating, abusing, etc) is a far cry from brute force. And just because a parent spanks does not mean they don't use other types of discipline. I realize that there are parents use spanking as a easy way but that is not the majority.

Everyone that is against spanking always starts talking about it like those of us that do spank are totally abusing or beating our kids. That just is not the way it is.

 

[TheZue]

Who said this?

That's how I read these two posts.

I still believe in spanking. I grew up in a non-spanking household. My brother was in and out of prison for just about 12 years. A little discipline and fear of authority would have done him well.

My own personal situation and what I have witnessed in life trumps any study I read about...

I haven't done any formal research. I do know that less parents spank or discipline at all than when I was growing up. I also know that there are more foul mouthed, rude, kids who do not think they have to follow rules. There are more kids who for some reason think that the universe revolves around them and cannot handle the word no. I see more kids that are involved with drugs and drinking and many other things. I'm not saying it's because they're not spanked but I do know that there is a definate lack of discipline and an overabundance of children that do not respect authority or know how to behave. I hear from my friends that teach and I see it all the time.

 

[threecrazykids]

I got spanked a few times. My mother grabbed me by my hair, dragged me to the ground and kicked me too. Neither gave me a real need or desire to do what I was told. It did not make me a good person. It did not improve my self worth nor make me feel loved or lovable.

Why would anyone hit a child?

What you are describing above is NOT spanking. There is a HUGE difference between spanking and BEATING your kids. I'm sorry you had to endure that. I totally understand why you feel the way you do.

 

[declansdad]

That's how I read these two posts.

I guess we read them differently because I don't get that. I get an opinion of what spanking could do not that avoiding spanking is a lack of discipline.

 

[luvsJack]

If it's not brute force what is it? Arguably carrying a toddler to time out is brute force, but I can't imagine what else spanking is. It's entire purpose to inflict pain or fear which only works because the parent is larger.

Fear??? Somebody forgot to tell my sons that they were supposed to be afraid of me and dh. Please.


And I was the one that said too many think "no spanking" means "no discipline". I didn't say that everyone thinks that. I simply meant that there are too many parents that don't believe in spanking so they do nothing. If someone doesn't believe in spanking, fine, but do SOMETHING to teach your child.


And what the heck are some of you seeing children being spanked with? When my sons were spanked ( and dd too the whole two times in her life she has been spanked), it was never like dh was swinging something with his full strength. He swatted with his hand and more often than not hurt his hand a heck of a lot more than he hurt their rears.

 

[themilesfamily]

Or-does your boss come to your office with a switch and swat your legs because you turned in the report late?

Exactly. There is no other situation in society where hitting someone is an appropriate way to handle problems.

You can't hit your spouse, your employees, random people who annoy you.

But you CAN hit children for any reason you deem appropriate?

And once you take that route, you've taught them that hitting someone is how you solve problems. Not really helpful for them later in life.