String's Atkin's Journal (Please Comment)

[wilderness01]

I know you are a very moral and ethical person, Beth, and you're torn over the ultimatum that you and Won gave your FIL. The ends do not always justify the means BUT in this case, I think it is far more ethical to get PG the help she needs. What is the alternative? You've tried to just walk away from her but she keeps creating problems. Your family's safety and security are at risk. If PG were in her right mind, she would not hurt you or Katie but she's sick - the ethical thing is to get her help. Now if you were plotting revenge.......

I agree completely. And if you were plotting revenge, only for a quick evil minute in your head, who could blame you? She has put you through hell and back, tried to take your daughter, hurt your marriage and disrupt you life with attempting to ruin your position at work. Unforturnately you sound like me and give situations break after break after break without going for revenge. Sometimes I would just like to say to hell with it and let me get on the person's level to fight as dirty as them or be as unethical as them. Why can I think this, if only for short minute, and then not do it? PsychoBIGB deserves what she gets and frankly you are a better person than I trying to get her help. I would just want her out of our lives. Who the hell does she think she is, or Napolean in my situation, to control and manipulate the situation to their liking? Who is either of them to treat others like that and simply get away with it without any repercussions? So would I want revenge, maybe? If only for a moment, but who can blame you or me? You are only human and so am I. You have been pushed further than me and I feel like I'm going to snap. How do you do it? I have also seen a side to my husband that I haven't seen in 21 years and never knew existed. The "right" thing isn't always done either and why is that? Why do others get to misbehave and get away with it? Sorry to be taking over your journal. Who gives another person that power or right over others? They get what they get period. Sorry but I am feeling less than christian right now for what is going on in my life and for Napolean being rewarded for less than christian behavior. You have it worse and I am feeling angry for you because you don't deserve this and have tried to handle everything appropriately without any success. I hope you get this resolved. Don't you feel one bit sorry for what you were FORCED to do. You had no choice as your back is up against a wall. OK Wilderness, step away from the journal before these people think you are a loose cannon and crazy! You and I will both get through this, but if a little anger is shown or a less than attractive side, if only for a moment, we are both entitled. Good luck.

 

[DoeWDW]

I feel like I have to comment on Wilderness' post. I never for one moment meant to imply that you are not entitled to feel anger or plot revenge at times. Wilderness is absolutely right - we are all human. Your situation would have broken many people long ago. I meant to convey that I feel you have handled and continue to handle the situation ethically and I'm amazed and impressed by that. I sense that you are feeling conflicted about the discussion with your FIL and I wanted to ease your feelings.

Hugs to both you and Wilderness - I think we're all on the same page in the end.

 

[septbride2002]

Oh Honey I'm so sorry I've been neglecting your journal and then I come here today and see everything you have been going through. You need extra .

I cannot believe this woman tried to take your job away from you. That is just AWFUL! I feel so bad for your husband right now who must just feel like he is being torn in half over the situation. I hope FIL will take your ultimatum. You should NOT feel bad over the ultimatium - you have to do what is right by your family. That woman tried to take your daughter, ruin your career and reputation, and destroy your marriage. She and her husband deserve whatever they get. The fact that he has ignored all of this says to me that he is no better then her. What does your BIL say to all of this? Has he been notified? Has he tried talking to FIL?

Hug Katie tightly and enjoy your Christmas tree!

~Amanda

 

[deelam]

Your Father in law is in a bad situation. His wife does have a problem that needs to be addressed. Committing someone is not easy. And how can he save face no matter which side he is on. He has to live with this women, if he has her committed, would it be only for 72 hours? Is she likely to do harm to herself? Because if she isn't, will they commit her against her will?
This women may always have issues with you and your family. No amount of therapy in the world can change that unless she has a change of heart. This is awful, but if I were in your situation, I might tempt MIL to lay her hands on me, then I would press assault charges on her. You are really in a difficult situation. No matter what you do, if she realizes that something hurts you (like calling your work) she may do it again. I hope you have a restraining order against this woman. If not, make that a top pryority. It's important that Katie not be exposed to this woman as she gets older.
I have a friend at work who is chinese. Her husband is the eldest son, and it is their custum for the eldest son to take care of his parents. So my friend's inlaws live with them and her MIL is mean to her. The inlaws are the bosses in my friend's home. It is their custom for the young wife to take a backseat to the elders in the family. Once her MIL sent my friend to her room because MIL didn't like the color of the green dress my friend had on. It's awful. Just imagine that. Your MIL would flourish in this situation.
Just hang in there, and do what feels right to you.

Deneen

 

[AuroraluvsPhillip]

I'm glad you through your plans out the window yesterday, Beth. Sometimes we need a day like that to recharge. I bet Katie enjoyed it too. Hugs to your family from me.

 

[LAinSEA]

Beth:

I am so glad that you allowed yourself to make lemonade from that bag of lemons tossed into the intersection. You have taken a huge step forward in allowing yourself not to be tossed around by the world and look for positive things to embrace. A little living in the moment is OK. I'm so proud of you!

You know that quote by Dumbledore at the end of Chamber of Secrets (paraphrasing here)- it is our choices, far more than our abilities, that define who we are. I think about that quote a lot lately. Your MIL made the decisions she did to reach out and hurt you and your family. She made the decisions that led to this situation. Your FIL made his choice to not confront the situation and to support his wife. You and your family had no choice in this situation. You had to establish boundaries for your well being and safety. When faced with the safety of your daughter, you had to react the way you did.

I don't see that you have ever gone tit for tat with you inlaws. At any time they could have stopped the escalation of this situation. They have chosen not to. Her sons have chosen to support their brother not because it is a popularity contest but I'm sure because they can see themselves and those they love in this situation. I am for retaining the best of the cultures our families brought with them to America, but I am not for traditions that are against the rights we hold dear as part of being an American.

Off the soapbox for now. Support and prayers are still coming your way.

-Laurie

 

[Strings]

Hi All,

I didn't make it to all the journals today, and I am sorry. Katie and I are both going to bed in a few minutes.

I need to comment on PB situation. FIL is a psychiatrist. We have tons of legally documented statements and actions that show PB is unstable. I talked to a psvchiatrist at the hospital I work at. It is believed we can get her declared incompetent if FIL will initiate the action. If necessary we'll start with the 3 day hold for independent evaluation.

I am no saint. I have thought about revenge, and if I have ever truly hated someone, I have hatred towards her. If I was honest, I would love her to come after me, so I could vent my frustration physically. That said, I can't go after her. She is mentally ill. I am not excusing her behavior, but I do not have that excuse. I also won't stoop to her level. She would not hesitate to use any slip I make to her advantage. laurie, I have been thinking about that quote lately as well. It may be time to reread my Harry Potter.

Today was not about healthy living. I tried to walk at the gym, but cramping stopped me. I also ended up getting sick, and pulled a muscle in my abdomen. I went home. I really didn't want to face the mall, but I had promised Karie. We went, and she great. All I wanted to do was survive the day. I couldn't eat luch, but felt much better by 4 pm. At dinner, I was starving. I totally binged. Grilled cheese and tomato soup. I ate way to much. I have decided this week is all about making it through. I am not in a place where I can focus on my health. I will do my best, but it isn't my focus. I am also going to do some praying tonight. I need to figure out where I want to be with my life and health.

Ok, I am going to bed.

Take care and Thank You.
Beth

 

[Strings]

I am in a better place today. My stomach doesn't seem to be working against me anymore, and I actually got some decent sleep. I still feel wiped out but at least I don't feel ill.

I asked Katie what she wanted to do today, and she said go swimming. That is what we're going to do. I am going to try to so a little walking around the track at the Y, and then we'll hit the pool. Other then that, laundry and dishes are the priority. I would also like to start wrapping presents. All of my shopping is now done. The house is decorated. All that is left are making the cookies, and I can't do that yet.

Ok, I need to get to that laundry. Have a great day, and I'll be popping in today.
Beth

 

[septbride2002]

Grilled Cheese and Tomato soup - the ultimate in comfort foods. Enjoy the day with Katie - focus on the positive and let everything else go. Easier said then done - but it will help to alievate the stress you have been under?

Do you meditate? I find that when the world gets to be to much a good 10 to 20 minute mediation really helps me to relax.

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

Beth, I think it is enough for you to just get through your days until the stress lessens a bit. Go with the flow and do your best to find enjoyment and smiles throughout your day. Abandon that list of what "should" get done without any guilt!

Take extra good care of you, Beth, and your dear Katie - you are both worth it!

 

[Strings]

I had a good day. Most of the laundry is done. I did 4 miles on the glider today. That is awesome for me. I then walked the track for 30 minutes-2 miles. I have been lc today, not induction level, but less than 50 carbs. Katie and I had a great time at the pool. I was able to get an appointment to get my haircut for tomorrow. I also made an appointment for Katie to get her eyes examined next Wednesday. She is doing a bit of squinching up of her eyes, and I want to know if she needs glasses. I am off to watch CSI.

 

[Tera]

Hi Beth - I hope you and Katie had a good time at the pool. I can't believe you have your shopping done already. I think I have one thing ordered for my Katie online and that's it. I know what to get, it's just finding the time to go do it

 

[geetey]

Hi Beth!
Sorry I haven't been able to check in for a couple of days. It sounds like the last few days have been some fun ones! I think it is very important to focus on some silly stuff too. Swimming at this time of year sounds SO nice! Aahhhh.

I can't believe you have all of your shopping done! That's awesome! Do you enjoy the holidays so much that you just get out there and go? Or do you not like shopping so you just get it over with? (Just trying to determine if you would like taking on my list. hee hee) I am moving at a slower pace this year, but I have told myself that is okay. Trying to learn how to pace myself.

Way to go on the glider! 4 miles done IS awesome!! With your times, you could easily do this half marathon. That's SO impressive to me!! Now, turn around and let me see that haircut.

Ah...

Very nice! You look GREAT!

 

[Strings]

Well, we figured out what is going on with my GI system. I have a hot gall bladder. Apparently BCP can contribute. Add in a family history and lc diet, I apparently have issues. I went to the hospital, that is why I wasn't around. Won is just not good in an emergency. I thought we would end up in a ditch on the way into the hospital. He just panics. He did the same thing when we took Katie and he was driving. I am now home and feeling much better. I follow up with a gastrenterologist next week. I am ok. I am stopping my BCP. I haven't felt right/slept right while on them. I'll deal with the irregularities of my TOM. I expect to get my period sometime today. I took last night off, but I'll probably go in tonight. I am only taking motrin now, so I am ok to practice. I am doing a lower fat lc diet at the moment, not that I feel like eating much. I am taking the rest of the weekend off from exercise.


FIL called this morning. He will start proceedings Mon to get PB declared incompetent, so she can be hospitalized. He thinks this was very underhanded and is disappointed in us. He hopes PB forgives us one day. I know she will never like me. regardless of her mental health. I just don't want to have to worry about her hurting my daughter. I may have to testify. I won't know more until Monday.

Ok, I'm off. I have more laundry to take care of. I promise to take it easy. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

Beth, sorry about the gall bladder troubles. At least you seem on top of the situation and what's causing it and you've got a plan of action! That's my Beth!! Down but never out!

Enjoy the extra time off as much as you can. I'm COUNTING on you to take it easy - you said you would!

 

[deelam]

I had stress related gall bladder flare ups a couple of years ago. I ended up needing my gallbladder removed. So stress can play a big part in whats happening.
As far as your MIL, you are doing the right thing by standing firm. If this means that the in laws remove themselfs from your life, it's their loss. If MIL stayed in your life, it would just be a matter of time before Katie realized what was happening and she would be affected by the stress of it all.

Deneen

 

[lulu201]

and a to you, Beth. Are you feeling better? Did you go into work as planned? I hope the you're able to rest some today.

I'm still so sorry that you have to be going through this whole MIL thing, but it seems that what moved FIL into action was having HIS life jeopardized--just as your family has had to go through for so long. As far as MIL's forgiveness, I personally hope for much more for you. I hope that someday she'll be well enough to come to you or to Won and say "thank you for being the ones who finally got me the help I was crying out for." You know that you all continue to be in my prayers as you settle all of this.

Someday we're going to be able to sit down for a tall, nonfat sugar free vanilla latte together and laugh about all this. OK, maybe not laugh, but it'd sure be nice to have coffee together, wouldn't it?

Hang in there, Beth,
Erin

 

[Strings]

Sisters,

Ok, I am in a sleep deprived goofy mood. I am pain free and feeling really good. I have a follow up appointment on Thursday afternoon. I don't think I will need to get my gall bladder out, so life is good. I have vowed to never take a BCP again. I will deal with the irregularities of my cycle without complaint. Ok, not without complaint, but without medication. I did go to work this weekend, and it was ok. We were busy, but worked well together. I did no lifting, so I was good. I am not really following any program right now. I am eating tiny portions frequently, but I am eating whatever appeals. I have discovered that the Pepperidge Farms lc bread is REALLY good toasted.

I am not sure when I will exercise. That is actually stressing me out a bit. Exercise has become such a routine, that not doing it feels wrong. I also know not to push things right now. I may do some walking tomorrow and Wedneday. I am playing it by ear and listening to my body.

We haven't heard anything from FIL yet. I am frustrated not knowing when/if I need to go to court. My girlfriend says she will watch Katie for us.

Things I know about this week:
Tomorrow is ballet and grocery shopping. Friends coming for dinner.(Carry out).
Wednesday: School/Y then Katie has an eye appointment in the afternoon.
Thursday: My appointment with the gastroenterologist.
Friday: School/Y work.
Saturday: Work. My 1 year anniversay on WISH Journals.
Sunday: Work.

Ok, Katie and I are off for a nap. I hope to get at least 2 hours of sleep here. I WILL get to journals today. I feel like I I have been slacking around here lately.

See you later,
Beth

 

[geetey]

Dear Beth I hope you are resting peacefully

while your body recharges. I am so happy to hear you had a good weekend at work! That's so nice. You definitely needed that right now. Good girl for no lifting. I know it has to be hard to do that when lifting is such a big part of your job.

I hope your gall bladder issues are quick to resolve. You are right to treat your body carefully and gingerly during this time. If you want to exercise, what about nice stroll? Nothing too hard or fast. Heck, you could even walk in the pool. Easy on the body, but good for the heart.

I hope you have a great week, Beth. Know that I am here thinking about you every day!

 

[Princess Michelle]

I hope you had a restful day, Beth.