String's Atkin's Journal (Please Comment)

[Strings]

Sighs...I fell apart today. When I got up this afternoon, I felt awful. Temp 102.1, sore throat, headache, congestion. Downed my meds put on my sunglasses and took Katie for a walk. Actually, it was a stroll. I did the best I could, 1.5 miles. Note to self, working 32 of 48 hours when ill,is stupid. Don't do it again.

I've stayed under 50gm of carbs, but I'm not calling myself cheat free today. My eating has been compusive and to make me feel better. I have not felt in control today about what I put into my body. I was in the kitchen searching for things to eat. I was almost panicked about it. I kept taking things off the shelf, looking at the carb count, and then putting them back. The more things I looked at, the higher my anxiety. I've never been like that, snd I don't like that feeling. So I will call today a cheat, despite the numbers.
1.) Meds taken 18/19
2.) Water 3l plus 3 mugs of decaf tea. 18/18.
3.) Exercise- kinda, I made the effort, so I'll count it 15/18.
4.) Food, nope. 17/17.
Breakfast-slllice of quiche
Lunch- chicken soup that I substituted spaghetti squash for the noodle. Yummy.
Snack- another bowl of soup.
Dinner- Peanut butter sandwich and a whole grapefruit.

I've also eaten 5 pieces of low carb candy for a total of 1 gm carbs.

I'm am headed upstairs. It will remove me from the kitchen. I will read then sleep.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'll check journals tomorrow. Sorry, I haven't been around.
Beth

 

[lulu201]

to you, Beth. I hope you're feeling better soon. Take some time tomorrow to really baby yourself, you hear?

Erin

 

[Carol36]

Hey Beth!

I am sorry that you are sick!!! You have to get better because you are on VACATION! It's hard to eat when your sick!
Sending your way!

Carol

 

[wilderness01]

Beth,

I hope you feel better. Everything looks worse when you are under the weather and tired. Hang in there.

 

[Strings]

I'm feeling a little better emotionally today. I think what put me over the edge yesterday wass facing up to the fact that I'm losing my hair from the drugs I'm on. I've been in denial for over a week. I'm losing ALOT of hair. Now I'll be the fat bald chick. Oh well, when it comes back in, maybe it will be thick and manageable. A girl can dream right?

I was asleep by 10 last night, but I woke up at 3 with Kate. Now she's sick. I've got an appointment for her this afternoon. I'll try to get in tomorrow. She's the priority. Of course this means no preschool and no nap. No Curves today. I'll try to get a walk in this evening, if I'm feeling up to it. I'm playing it by ear.

1.)Meds taken 19/19.
2.) Water-1.5 l so far.
3.) Exercise-nope
4.)Meals-Today, I don't want to eat anything, but I am.
Breakfast- 1 egg on toast and coffee.
Lunch- ham/cheese rollups.
Dinner- more soup.

I've got jello if I need it. I'll keep sipping my water and tea.

Have a good one.
Beth

 

[lulu201]

, Beth. I'm so sorry that you're having side effects from you meds. That said, you must promise to NEVER, EVER refer to yourself--even if you're being funny--as the chick you described above. Call yourself the "funny, brave chick" or the "fascinating, beautiful chick," but never like you did. You're too good to even THINK such a thing, honey.

Buy some beautiful dangling earrings and make a statement with your new look. One that dares others to even compete with someone as strong, sensitive, and caring as yourself!

This has got to be a tough time for you, Beth, but you're going to weather this storm.

You're in my prayers,

Erin

 

[PAdisMOM]

I'm so sorry about the medication. I hope everything works out soon.

Sending PD your way!

 

[ZerasPride]

Hi Beth,

I was hoping to find you in good spirits today but I see you've been sick and have sickness in your family. I am so sorry for that. I'm also sorry that you are losing your hair due to your meds. Here is a big internt {{{hug}}} from me to you! I think you are doing so well and you are an inspiration to me. Please don't be down on yourself.

I can relate to be short staffed at work. When I first started with the law firm where I work we had 21 women doing the legal assisting in special services. They cut the staff during 2 downsizings to 10 people, 3 people and now there are just two of us. I almost can't believe we don't have at least 5 of us. On the good side, they did just hire someone today so that at least give us three people but it does put extra stress on you and it's sad when your office is understaffed. I'm sorry the medical field appears to be doing the same thing.

Please take care of yourself and know that we all here to support you!

 

[Carol36]

Hey Beth!!! I am so sorry that you are still feeling so bad. I hope and pray that you make a speedy recovery and feel better than ever when this is all over!!!

How long did you actually stay on induction??? I am just wondering how long is too long.

Have a wonderful day tomorrow!!!

Carol

 

[toystoryduo]

Beth,
Hi friend! Sending prayers, and to you and your family today. I'm sorry that you're having side effects from the meds that you are taking and that both you and Katie are sick. I hope that you both are doing better today.

Beth, I know that the hair the loss is tough. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are a warm and encouraging person and you are an inspiration to us all. You have been through a lot this year and through it all, you have remained focused and strong. Your posts in my journal have helped me tremendously and I know that other WISHers feel the same way. for you Beth. Know that we are here for you and that we care about you and what you are going through.

Take good care of you today! I hope that you and Katie are feeling like very soon!

,
Tracy

 

[Strings]

You're so vain.....
I'm going to be losing my sense of humor on and off for the next couple of weeks. I'll snap out of it eventually. I need to work through a few things. Thanks for the support.

I'm still sick, but I have a little more energy. I did go for a 2 mile walk yesterday. Not at my usual speed, but I'll count it.
Recap/plan:

1.) Meds-I've taken them.20/20.
2.) Water- 3.5 l yesterday 19/20.
3.) Exercise-16/20.
4.) Food- exactly as planned 18/20.
Breakfast was 1/2 grapefruit.
Lunch will be chicken salad,
Dinner will be salad and cheeseburgers.

I hope to go for a wal; today.

I hope everyone has a good day.
Beth

 

[sharoncity]

Beth - great big, huge for you. I am so sorry you are going through this rough time. Couple that with being ill and DD being ill and no wonder you are in a little bit of a funk. Go easy on yourself dear friend. This too shall pass. Look at the alternatives, you could have been gravely ill with cancer. Hair loss doesn't seem so bad compared to that! Remember to count your blessings Beth. But if you feel like being blue for a day or two, well that's okay too! We will be here for you!!!

Remember to take good care of you Beth! You are an inspiration for so many of us! Give yourself a pat on the back for that! Over 100 healthy living days already!! You rock girlfriend!!

Hope you have a beautiful day!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[septbride2002]

ATTENTION EVERYONE! ATTENTION! Erin pipe down! OKAY - WE ARE GOING TO ALL CIRCLE AROUND BETH AND DO A GROUP HUG. READY! 1.....2......3!

And now I am going to lecture - just what do you think you are doing? You are sick! You need to take care of you or else you are never going to get better. Don't worry about your diet when you need to focus on healing. I have 2 words for you - Orange Juice! Get some! I want to hear you resting, relaxing, and not stressing! If you are not better by the time your vacation is over then you are to call in sick to work. You are to valuable to not take care of yourself!

Now a kinder more gentle Amanda.... I'm sorry to hear about your hair. That must be difficult, but getting over the denial is a first step. It will grow back. I'm sending lots of and your way my friend. Keep the faith, take care of yourself, and everything will work out in the end.

~Amanda

 

[Strings]

Hi guys, thanks for the hugs, support, and lecture. Amanda, I really don't feel like drinking OJ. I have been eating an entire grapefruit and megadosing my vitamin C.

I'm really trying to be honest with myself. If I don't I'll slip into my old patterns. I do thank god everyday that I don't have cancer and will be able to watch Katie grow up. That being said, I am very angry. Yes, it is one of the stages og grieving....It has taken me years to get to the point where I want to be healthy and lose weight. This is the first time I have been at all successful. Now that I am ready, things keep getting thrown at me that block my way. In the last 5 months:My hormones are out of wack, I've had surgery to remove one of my ovaries which makes it a definate that I can't have more kids, I dicover I have pituitary tumors, and I have to take 15 pills a day. Vitamins/meds. Some of the side effects are weight gain. Now my hair is falling out. I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I'm trying to stay as positive as I can, and stay as healthy as I can. It is going to take time for me to get over some of this. I'll have good days, and days that I struggle not to be crabby and eat absolutely everything in sight. Real life. I do know that I can't lose weight in a vaccuum, and that if I did, I'd never keep it off. I just doesn't make it easier. What does make it easieris having your support and examples. So again, thank you for sharing your journeys with me.

Yesterday was as planned, but I didn't get a chance to exercise.
1.)Meds 21/21.
2.)Water 20/21.
3.)Exercise 16/21.
4.) Food 19/21.
Pln for the day...
Breakfast- 1/2 grapefruit and 2 pieces of sausage.
Lunch- I'll finish up the chicken salad and the other 1/2 of grapefruit.
Dinner will be brats in the park. We're meeting another family for playdate and picnic. Katie is 100% again. I'm no longer contagious.

I hope to go to Curves. I will take it easy and not push myself.

Thanks for sticking with me through my many novels. I hope to get to journals this afternoon or evening. I'm definately thinking of all of you. Thank you again.
Beth

 

[septbride2002]

Beth you have every right to be angry. You've been given some definate hardships at the moment to deal with. But remember God does not give you more then what you can handle - and you will get through this as well. Concentrate on the positives in your life and the negatives will work themselves out.

I'm sorry to hear about your ovary - I can only imagine how that must feel, especially if you are wanting more children. I'm saying a prayer for you that you will find peace and guidance.

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

My dearest Beth, I'm sending extra for you.

Life isn't fair! Just know that if Life continues to hand you tough times, all your WISH-sisters will TRACK LIFE DOWN LIKE A DOG!!! No one messes with one of us and gets away with it!!

I am so happy to hear that you and Katie are getting over your nasty colds! Hopefully things can get back to normal, now. You have a relaxing weekend coming up, thank goodness!! Concentrate on recharging your batteries - you need all your energy to help your body handle those meds.

If you and Katie need a break in the evening, I can heartily recommend reruns on TVLand if you have cable! Those old sitcoms are family friendly and can have you laughing in no time! I love the old I Love Lucy shows, Andy Griffith, Dick van ****, Happy Days, Jackie Gleason, etc. Laughter is healing, so look for ways to bring more into your life, OK??

Beth, you can come here and express WHATEVER your feelings are. It's OK to be angry - come here to vent that anger! It's fine to be sad - those feelings are safe with us, too. Frustrated? Overwhelmed (my personal favorite at the moment )? Excited? Happy? Celebrating? Moping? Bring it all here, Beth, and know that we love you just the way you are, no matter what.

One of your many WISH-sisters, :happy1: ,
Doreen

EDIT: I can't believe they filtered out Dick van ****'s last name!! Oh well, you know the guy - he was in Mary Poppins with Julie Andrews.

 

[wilderness01]

Beth,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I am pretty new here and haven't read anyone's journal all the way through. It is ok to feel anger right now. You need to care for yourself and go through whatever phase you need to. You are amazingly strong and seem so courageous to continue to give support to others when so many curves have been thrown your way. You should give yourself a BIG pat on the back for having such a positive attitude! Be kind to yourself and if some days are a little off, remember most of your days have been right on. I have learned a valuable lesson of learning how to stay on track and you have been such a shining example in the last five weeks that I have been here. Thank you!

 

[Strings]

Just to prove that my life is going on, I'm having a MAJOR tantrum right now. I am outraged that Jennifer got booted from AI. Latoya, Fantasia, and Jennifer are the best ones on AI. The other ones need to go. THE WEASLEY was one of the top 3 !?! I just can't believe it. Ok, I'm doen.

Recap:
1.) Meds 21/21.
2.) Water 21/21.
3.0Exercise- I hit Curves. 17/21.
4.) Meals as planned. 20/21.

I'm going to hit some journals.
Have a good evening,
Beth

Dh and I just had an interesting conversation. Katie is a program member at the YMCA. She takes swim lessons and will be in summer camp there. We just got a coupon to become members for free. Just a 60 dollar monthly fee. All of Katie's programs would cost less as well, so We'll save money long term. I'm going to drop my Curves membership. The Y hads a daycare that I can leave Katie at when I work out. It is also right next to Katie's school. I'll actually have more time to work out. I drop Katie off at 1, but Curves didn't open until 2. I think this will be a huge improvement. I'm excited to exercise again. Kickboxing, cycling classes, treaddie, weight training. This will be good.

 

[Carol36]

Hey Beth! I was so ticked that Jennifer was in the bottom three, and GONE!!! I was sad, mad, shock, and even boo-hooed! I agree with you in that those three are the best!!!

The Y sounds like the perfect plan with such a variety. We have nothing in our small town that I can go to. Location and childcare will help make things easier for you.

I hope you are feeling better! Carol

 

[Castillo Mom]

Tell me about it! I missed today's AI but watched last night. When DH told me about it, I just about flipped. What's wrong with America? I ranted and raved a good 5 minutes myself.

Beth, thanks so much for the nice things you said on my journal. You guys are what help keep me going. There's a sense of comraderie around here.

Congrats on joining the Y. My kids used to participate in their summer program which was great. Never got to use the facilities though.

Well, I'm off to do some trip planning. Take care Beth.