stickey charity ????

[twinmomplus2new]

Ok I think I am going to do this anyway but needing some advice.

I have 2 little boy's I am in contact with due to a job area. In the past I have donated alot of things. recently somthing was told to me about the finacial situation from one of the kids. I was very jaded to hear about what Mom and Dad did with the extra $$$ they have now. ( Donated $$) this was a month ago. It has been eating away at me I have to be honest about that.

Now lets just say bad choices were made again and a certain financial need is apparent again. I happen to know of something they want for Christmas and would like to donate it for them. Feeling that the kids should come first. Am I being an idiot consdiering what I know.

I am just not sure should I or should I just let it go.

 

[okeydokey]

I hate to see the kids suffer because of the parents' screwups. Can you donate an item and be sure it won't be returned by the parents?

 

[Justanopinion]

Since you weren't very direct it's sorta hard to help.
Sounds like what you are saying is that the parents got some financial help and you don't agree with how the money was used and now there is assistance needed again.

I don't know what to tell you, just I hope you make a decision that you feel good about.
On one hand I see where you want to help the kids, but at the same time, the parents knowing someone will come to the resue will keep making bad choices. It's a tough one.

My DS has graduated now but back when he was in like 4th grade there was a kid in his class. This kids parents were going through a divorce. They had been somewhat strapped before the divorce. Well, someone(I don't know who, whether it be the parents or a teacher) put this child's name on the Angel Tree list. He then got a few gifts from the Angel Tree people. But at the same time, his Dad was riding around on a brand new Harley that he bought himself at the beginning of December.

So it's a tough call, best of luck to you.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

its actually build a bear. So no it couldn't be returned. I just don't know by pinch hitting when they are in trouble I am enabling them to continue to flail around.

I am thinking I may do it and then consider it my last hurrah.
I say that but the next time thye don't have socks on and its 10 degrees I will forget I said that.

As for not being very direct. thats on account of me not wanting to say too much. It was not so much that I didn't agree with how it was spent. it was that if you are using donated money to go away for the weekend and gamble at foxwoods. then surely the money is not going towards the betterment of the boy's which is the intent of the help.

 

[singingpixie]

I think there's a difference between donating gifts for the children and flat-out donating money that will likely be spent frivolously. I would keep giving the kids whatever I feel I can comfortably give (clothes, socks, snacks, whatever) but I would probably not give them direct financial assistance.

 

[ChrizJen]

I think there's a difference between donating gifts for the children and flat-out donating money that will likely be spent frivolously. I would keep giving the kids whatever I feel I can comfortably give (clothes, socks, snacks, whatever) but I would probably not give them direct financial assistance.

Exactly what I was going to say. I think you can still help make sure the boys have some of the things they need without enabling the parents. I most definitely would not be making any more monetary donations though!