Stepchild Adoption in MASS

[kteesmumma]

Does anyone on here know the process and what I need to do. My DD's Biological Father has never met her. Him and I were never married. He pays child support (when he feels like it due to a court order). I want my DH to adopt her this summer..and not sure how I go about doing this. How long is the process??

Thanks

 

[CharityLynn]

I believe her father has to sign away his rights for that to happen but I really have no other info or knowledge.

 

[Inigo]

Hire an attorney. This is one thing you do not want to have any mistakes.

Would your daughter's father be willing to sign over his parental rights? If so, that would make it a lot easier. You might have to sweeten the deal for him by forgiving the arrears owed, but I would imagine it would be worth it. If you received public assistance of any type since having your daughter, however, you probably won't be able to offer to forgive the arrears.

How long has it been since he's paid support? The longer it's been, the better. You might be able to get his parental rights terminated for abandonment if it's been long enough. I'm not sure how long that would be in MA, so HIRE AN ATTORNEY.

Oh, and the most important advice: hire an attorney. Seriously. This is to make your DH your daughter's father. You don't want any mistakes, and you want it to go as smoothly as possible.

 

[kteesmumma]

Well the biological father will sign over his rights...he has already told me that in the past. As for the child support..I used to be on welfare..that was years ago. I dont think I have to sweeten any deal with him. As long as the current child support does keep adding up I am sure he will not fight me over anything. I really dont want to hire an attorney. I have no idea where he lives or how to contact him.

I was told all I had to do was post in the local paper about the adoption and if he doesnt contest it we are fine. He is not on the birth certificate.

 

[Inigo]

Well the biological father will sign over his rights...he has already told me that in the past. As for the child support..I used to be on welfare..that was years ago. I dont think I have to sweeten any deal with him. As long as the current child support does keep adding up I am sure he will not fight me over anything. I really dont want to hire an attorney. I have no idea where he lives or how to contact him.

I was told all I had to do was post in the local paper about the adoption and if he doesnt contest it we are fine. He is not on the birth certificate.

Doesn't matter if he's on the birth certificate or not. Since he was ordered to pay child support, he is the legal father.

I still think you need to hire an attorney. On something this important, you don't want to be cheap. You want it done correctly so there is no questions about legality and the father's rights if he should ever decide to make a fuss.

 

[allison443]

Well the biological father will sign over his rights...he has already told me that in the past. As for the child support..I used to be on welfare..that was years ago. I dont think I have to sweeten any deal with him. As long as the current child support does keep adding up I am sure he will not fight me over anything. I really dont want to hire an attorney. I have no idea where he lives or how to contact him.

I was told all I had to do was post in the local paper about the adoption and if he doesnt contest it we are fine. He is not on the birth certificate.

I don't know the law in Mass, but I'm pretty sure it involves more than "posting in the local paper." Even that would have certain requirements, which paper, how many times, the exact wording of the posting. You will have to go to court, file papers with the court, etc.

Get an attorney.

 

[bumbershoot]

Get a lawyer. It's going to be more complicated than what your friend told you.

Since he's already said he'd do it, shouldn't be complicated, but you certainly don't want to do something wrong.

A friend of mine has a child that her ex husband has never met (he left when she was a few months pregnant). He pays child support. And if she ever met someone she could trust enough to adopt her child, she would hire a lawyer and do it the proper way.

Lawyer.

 

[Luv'sTink]

When my husband adopted my son a social worker contacted the biological father to make sure he understood what he had signed and was under no distress to do it. Cost me $100 and hour, yes he had already signed the papers and to tell him he was entitled to therapy treatments if he felt he needed it. Yep, deadbeat dad get therapy for a child he never had anything to do with, I can see why that would be upsetting to him..not.

I did however, do it without an attorney. We had a paralegal draw up the papers and he was pretty knowledgeable as to what was needed and what he didn't know the court helped me with, they read the papers to make sure they were correct before they would set a court date. I didn't know about the social worker, it was a new law, and they helped me get in contact with the right people. A lot of what we needed to do was on the internet, even forms for the adoption from the county court house.

I do live in WA so I can't really help, but our judicial system is set up so we can do it ourselves if we have the guts! I also did all the paper work for the INS, now USCIS, to come to the US to marry me and I did all the work for his citizenship without an attorney too, so it can be done.

 

[agnes!]

Get a good family-law attorney, do not rely on word of mouth in this matter. If the adoption is important enough to the family then it is important enough to do right.

And I *bet*, if you don't know how, thinking that you DO need to find him?... then you probably have a friend who would do at least an Internet search to find the deadbeat so-&-so.

It's really easy to find most people.

And, seriously, you don't want Mr. Jerk to show up and proclaim to the court that he's being railroaded and that he wasn't asked, etc., etc.....people do funny things, if he thinks he can get some money out of it, if he's trying to impress his new girlfriend..

Get that attorney .
agnes!

 

[kellyg403]

I would agree that seeing an attny would be the best way to go. At least you may find one with a free consultation that can explain the process from the laws standpoint in your state. I also agree, this is something you don't want to mess up.

From what little experience I have with the situation, I do know that your current dh will have to show that he is willing to be responsible for the rest of her life, even if something would happen to your marriage together, he would be obligated as parent for your child and all that entails..i.e. child support etc. Not saying that would happen, a good friend of mine whose new husband was going to adopt the children she had actually decided to wait before doing so because he wanted to make sure the family was all in the same place re: him being dad, now and forever. They actually had to put an ad in the bio dads last known area he lived in. It had to run for 30 days straight giving him the opportunity to see it.

Good luck, an attorney will at least give you pointers on how this is to be done correctly.

Kelly