Stay At Home Mom's

[DeluxePrincess]

I asked the same question when I entered the world of SAHM. After doing it for a few years, I'm a pro. There's the regular cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. However, I won't lie and say that I have absolutely no time for myself. I've become an avid reader. I take walks around the neighborhood or go to the gym. I also keep busy by volunteering at DD's school 1-2 times a week. I volunteer at a Senior Citizens apartment complex once a week. Heck, sometimes I go crazy and leave my 2yo with grandma while I go check out a movie by myself. My neighbor got me into garage sale treasure hunting last summer. We keep looking for that rare find (haven't found it yet). There's lots to do out there!

 

[Cinerbelle]

Thank you all for your replies. I am feeling so many emotions right now with the pending end to my working life.... I have known nothing else, but I am excited to not have to get up at 4am to be to work by 6 and no more commute!!

 

[luvflorida]

...As a teacher I don't work the summers. I can't stand it. Don't get me wrong, the first week in lovely. Then I'm antsy and bored! So I find a summer job or take classes at the university over the summer...

My friend was like that. She took a summer off thinking it would be great to be with the girls, go to the library, beach, etc. She was not a happy camper by week 2. Her kids were miserable, she was miserable.

I loved having my summers off when I was a teacher! I always had the same schedule as my three kids when they were growing up, and we used to spend almost every summer day at the beach. We lived in a coastal town within walking distance to the ocean, so it was easy to do! We also always had the same vacation days over Christmas break, winter and spring break.

I knew a lot of teachers that took on summer jobs, but that was the last thing I wanted to do!

I left teaching a few years after our youngest was born. I did a bit of substitute teaching, but my heart just wasn't in it. I did a lot of volunteering at the schools, but other than that, my time was pretty much my own to do whatever I wanted with it. I loved working around outside the house (mowing the lawn, gardening, etc.). I don't ever remember being bored! We're only talking about six hours a day anyway, and once all the kids got home from school, there was always something going on.

As the kids got older, whenever anyone asked me what the heck I did with my time, my answer was- "I don't know, but whatever I do it takes me all day to do it."

 

[kacaju]

My daily routine was something like this
8:15 dd#3 was on the bus
by 8:30 I was out walking with a friend. by 9:30 we were done and I did whatever errands I had to do that day (if any)
I would be home by 12ish and then I would clean up the house until 2:30 when I ahd to go pick up dd#1 from school.
If I didn't have errands to run after walking then I would go home and take care of bills, paperwork for my volunteer work or go out to volunteer.

I just went back to work after being home for 16 Years!!
During my SAH days I very rarely volunteered at the school. I have no interest in all the PTO stuff. Don't get me wrong... I was always a class parent and would help out if needed, but I was never the first to volunteer in school. Funny thing... as much as I tried to stay away from the schools and volunteer elsewhere... guess where I am now working?? At the high school. I am now a lunchlady working from 10am to 2pm!! Perfect!!

My advice to you, get up every day and get dressed. You will get in to the swing of going about your day much faster then if you lay arould in your pj's half the day!!

 

[SunshineOR]

I've been a sahm for about ten years. I used to feel pressure because I wasn't working at a "real job" to have the perfect house, perfect kids, volunteer at school, homemade nutritious meals 3x a day, etc. I found myself really stressed. I like to think I've found a balance now. I took a moment to remember that most people with jobs sometimes have the commute to listen to the radio and relax, a little time during the day to chat with co-workers occasionally, a lunch break, etc. Not everyone, I know, but let's call it the "average" job and I apply that philosophy to my job at home as well.

I don't like being the "maid" for the kids. I want them to learn responsibility, so while I do the bulk of the housework, they do have to take care of certain things for themselves like their rooms and their own clutter and messes. Lots of day time is spent cooking and laundry, paying bills, planning meals, grocery shopping, etc.

However, I also include some "me" time in the day. I do take little breaks to read or be on the computer, I work out every day. I love it. When the kids come home from school the laundry's done, dinner's cooking, I've worked out and read a few chapters of my book and am feeling good. I'm not stressed, I'm eager to see them, and we spend our evenings eating dinner together, participating in the kids' activities or spending time hanging out with the kids. Same with the weekends. During the weekend, I can put off the laundry or cleaning the closet or whatever knowing I can get to it while they're gone during the week, and I can just spend quality time with the family all weekend. I don't nap or eat bon bons, but I'm not going to pretend I'm slaving away the whole day. I'm in the middle of the extremes.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I consider myself a NAHM, never at home mom. As the kids got older I thought it would be easier. Nope! I have 3 in school and one getting ready to go to pre-school next year. Today I dropped the boys off, went to Target, Kohls, and the grocery store. Got home around 11, did 3 or the 8 loads of laundry, folded and put it away. Laundry is a constant in this house with 3 boys. LOL
Got the boys at 3, came home. They went outside while I played on the computer. did the dishes and started dinner. We did homework and now they are watching a movie while I'm here. After they go to bed it's me time. I usually scrap, cross stitch, or watch TV.

Tomorrow I have a workshop for the scholastic book fair we have at school. Then home again for more laundry, dishes, cleaning. My kids are tornadoes so the house is always a mess!

Wednesday is a meeting with the Scholastic rep, my day at school for school store and PTO, then back home for more cleaning, homework, etc.

Thurs and Friday are 1/2 days for parent teacher conferences so I will be home to entertain the kidlets all day.
Friday night I get DH at the airport and take him back on Sunday, that's an every week thing.

soon bowling and track start up so I do a lot of running around fetching kids and taking other people's kids home too.

This is as far on this thread as I got and I had to stop because this is what I always say, that I'm a Never at Home Mom. It is so true, the older they get the less time you have. I have been a SAHM for almost 16 years and each year I seem to spend less time at home.

I will say my days FLY by. I do a lot of voluntereering, I run 2 Girl Scout troops (used to be 3 till my oldest stopped) with no assistant leaders. I do make all our meals from scratch most days and drive my kids everywhere so that my DH who works very hard doesn't have to.

I took my first job in 13 years (worked a day a week at the Disney Store back in the day) this year as a preschool teacher. I work 2 afternoons a week and my family doesn't love it. It is only when they aren't home, follows the school schedule, but they all still like that mom is home if they need me. Only once did it conflict with a sick kid and she was hardly even sick but I couldn't get a sub on short notice so DH stayed home with her. She loved tat but his boss did not saying that my job was the stay at home om and I should have taken care of her. I wanted to say how lucky they have been that I always have stayed home with sick kids, did all the doctor and dentist appointments, etc but with jobs so scares he decided saying that was not a great idea.

I do things too that aren't necessary but are nice since I have the time. Like I make hot breakfast for everyone (in 3 different shifts) every morning if they want it.

Anyway, I do allow myself maybe 45 minutes or an hour a day for computer time. But some days (like today) it doesn't happen. I always get on at ngiht but I mean often I do during the day, but not if there are things to be done.

I probably won't work again next year. Making minimum wage can't interfere with DH's job, but I know with 3 kids in 3 schools there will be pleanty of school things to keep me busy.

I dream of someday sleeping, reading, scrapbooking, but so far I have not found the time for much well, any of that except I do once in a while take a power nap in the afternoon but only so I can safely drive the kids all over town without falling asleep!

The best part is at the end of the day the laundry is done, the house is reasonably clean and we can focus on homework, dinner activities and then do things as a family like building puzzles and playing board games. That to me is the best part. Our evenings can be all about the family and I love that!

 

[Hidden_Mickey]

I work but I often fantasize about what I would do if I could stay home, lol. Having the kids be able to do after school activities would be nice. Play rehearsal and sports practices before 6:00 pm would not be such a nightmare. Grocery shop, run errands and go to doctor's appointments during the day would be top priority. I probably would volunteer at school and actually have a social life, lol. I'm sure the house would be cleaner and meals would be better. If I didn't work full time for some reason (layoff, etc.) I would definitely be a lunch lady and get the same days off as the kids, and actually enjoy the summers, instead of being forced to take all my vacation days when the kids have school vacation (December, February & April, when the weather stinks). I was just home last week and was bored and ready to go back to work today but that's because it was "staycation" so I didn't push myself to do anything but the minimum, and I ended up working from home a few mornings, which threw my days out of whack and made it not really feel like I was at home. If I stayed home full time think I would need to volunteer at school to get out of the house, and I would need to be really disciplined or I would end up like Peg Bundy... on the couch in my PJ's at 4:00 watching Oprah

 

[disykat]

I don't like being the "maid" for the kids. I want them to learn responsibility, so while I do the bulk of the housework, they do have to take care of certain things for themselves like their rooms and their own clutter and messes.
.

I've only known one SAHM in my life that was a maid for her kids. A friend growing up had a mom who made her bed. We were all shocked. (The funny thing is she grew up to become a SAHM and did the same thing with her kids. She had a big family, homeschooled, and about worked herself to the bone doing it all.) My kids know how to take care the entire house, laundry, bathrooms, cooking, the works, (it's my job as their mom to teach them those things!) they just don't have to do it very much because I'm home right now. That doesn't mean they get out of cleaning up their own messes, taking care of their own spaces, and their basic chores! It just means that the whole house takes a little less attention at times they are home to help because I'm taking care of more of it during the day.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I work but I often fantasize about what I would do if I could stay home, lol. Having the kids be able to do after school activities would be nice. Play rehearsal and sports practices before 6:00 pm would not be such a nightmare. Grocery shop, run errands and go to doctor's appointments during the day would be top priority. I probably would volunteer at school and actually have a social life, lol. I'm sure the house would be cleaner and meals would be better. If I didn't work full time for some reason (layoff, etc.) I would definitely be a lunch lady and get the same days off as the kids, and actually enjoy the summers, instead of being forced to take all my vacation days when the kids have school vacation (December, February & April, when the weather stinks). I was just home last week and was bored and ready to go back to work today but that's because it was "staycation" so I didn't push myself to do anything but the minimum, and I ended up working from home a few mornings, which threw my days out of whack and made it not really feel like I was at home. If I stayed home full time think I would need to volunteer at school to get out of the house, and I would need to be really disciplined or I would end up like Peg Bundy... on the couch in my PJ's at 4:00 watching Oprah

Trust me, you would not turn out to be like Peggy Bundy. 4:00 is when the kids get home and life gets really active. At 4:00 my kids are just getting home and 3 days a week we have to be to dance my 4:30. There are 3 sets of homework to be done and for me I try to have as much as possible done before my Dh comes home so we can have dinner and have a nice evening together.

For the record, I have not watched Oprah in probably a dozen years or more (I'm not a fan) but there are other shows (no soaps, too demanding of time) I have on during the day, turned up loud to listen to, but not watch, but I find it keeps me on task better. If not then I have Bon (scared ya, not Bon Bon, Jon Bon!) Jovi blasting. THAT may be the best part of my day. Yes, I am cleaning, but no one is telling me "mom, it's too loud!!!" Yeah, I'll take Jon Bon over Bon Bons anyday!!!

 

[Family Fun Mom]

I'm always doing something and it rarely involved cleaning supplies. Yuck, I hate housework!

I have never missed a school play, party, performance, or field trip (unless I wanted to, if I have to visit the Chrysler Museum again I'll go nuts!). I have helped the school in many ways. Plus, I coach cheerleading and I'm a cub scout den leader. I can get a lot of my prep work for those roles done during the day when the kids are at school. I do research, make up cheeers, put together formations, write newsletters, deal with volunteer coordinators, read the cub scout manual for den meeting ideas, ect. The cheerleading alone keeps me as busy as a part time job would. I do all the things working moms have to do but I get them done before my kids walk through the door, and I don't have to take the little monsters with me! I often wonder how working moms fit in things like grocery shopping and other errands. It must be a lot of pressure cuz from 4pm on, our house is like a three ring circus. Three kids in three different activities, it's a lot of running around! We'd never have food in the house or other errands done if I had to fit it in after working hours.

I admit it, though, once in a while I watch Days of Our Lives and go to lunch with friends. Olive Garden is a tradition with my circle every few months. Love it! It's a great life and I'm very lucky to not have the stress of a job to add to the stress of motherhood. This works for us and we're very happy with it.

 

[Planogirl]

I work part-time and people think I'm lazy because I don't work full-time so I can sympathize. If they only knew what kind of job I had, they wouldn't think that...

I was a stay at home Mom for a while when DS was little. I never got bored but I did feel a little tied to the house at times. We lived in the country though and I think that it would have been easier if we'd lived in town.

 

[golfgal]

I've only known one SAHM in my life that was a maid for her kids. A friend growing up had a mom who made her bed. We were all shocked. (The funny thing is she grew up to become a SAHM and did the same thing with her kids. She had a big family, homeschooled, and about worked herself to the bone doing it all.) My kids know how to take care the entire house, laundry, bathrooms, cooking, the works, (it's my job as their mom to teach them those things!) they just don't have to do it very much because I'm home right now. That doesn't mean they get out of cleaning up their own messes, taking care of their own spaces, and their basic chores! It just means that the whole house takes a little less attention at times they are home to help because I'm taking care of more of it during the day.

I had a roommate in college who never had to do anything growing up-it wasn't a good situation. We had to teach her how to do laundry, how to wash dishes, how to change a roll of toilet paper, EVERYTHING. We were all pretty nervous when she had her first child (after college/marriage, etc.) because she had never been around kids, never babysat, etc. Her DH was pretty good with kids so that helped and she learned along the way. Her oldest is in her junior year of college going on to medical school, her middle DD is also looking at a career in medicine so she did figure it out I guess.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I never intended to be a SAHM when my kids reached school age. However, DH went into business for himself right before I had them. He has to be available to help clients at all times and makes frequent, last minute business trips. When he's available he's a great, hands-on dad, but it would be difficult if I had a job where i needed him to regularly be available to help with the kids. On top of that, it turned out that DS has some special needs and both the kids really need me to be here when they get home.

Do I get a little lonely and bored sometimes? Sure, but there really isn't that much down time to the day. After they get on the bus, I take care of the dogs... start laundry and pick up from breakfast...start some sort of housecleaning/organizing project or grocery shop...do research (things aren't going well for DS in school and I spend a lot of time arranging outside therapy)....Well, the time flies and the kids get off the bus a little before 2:30pm.

I also drive about an hour a few times a month to help my mother take care of my grandmother. I volunteer at school a couple times a week. I help DH with any errands he may need for the business and I handle the benefits admin. This year I began volunteering at a children's theater two mornings a week.

I have thought about getting a part-time job in the future, but with the kids getting so many vacation days and half days (not to mention the days they might stay home sick) it would be difficult to find a position with that much flexibility.

 

[PaulaSue]

I do a lot of coupon/stockpile shopping, play on the internet and SB now that the girls are in school full time. I have been looking for a part time job but me and 1,000 others are looking for those hours too.

I tried to help out at school as much as possible but they only want once a blue moon and other SAHM have to fight it out or they want help at night while Dh is still working and I can't help then.

 

[kacaju]

I have thought about getting a part-time job in the future, but with the kids getting so many vacation days and half days (not to mention the days they might stay home sick) it would be difficult to find a position with that much flexibility.

Become a lunch lady that's what I just did!! LOL!!!

My kids are 10, 14 and 16. I now work 2 miles from home in our HS. Unless the kids are pukey sick I can now leave even the 10 year old home if she wasn't feeling well to go to work for my 4 hours (and once I have been there longer and prove I am a committed employee)I am sure I could either get the day off or leave early if I told them she was home sick.
Seriously, my job is from 10am-2pm and if the kids are off I am off. I am on their schedule. I only got this job on Feb 1st so it is still new to me, but so far I am loving it for the hours. Also, since working due to snow and a Holiday I have not worked a full week yet!!

Now as a *former* SAHM I am having trouble with figuring out how to get all the stuff I did in those 4 hours done now (like laundry, shopping) but it will come in time!!

 

[luvmy3]

This year was the first year that I have had all day to myself. After almost 13 years of being a SAHM and doing everything that was mentiond here, I have to admit that I feel a little guilty that I'm not doing something more. Don't get me wrong, I know that I run the household, and the kid's lives but I don't do anythng for myself when I could be. I have considered going back to school. As much as I love to volunteer at the school, and have a nice clean house and landscaping, and spending way too much time on the DIS , I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing that stuff.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I probably won't work again next year. Making minimum wage can't interfere with DH's job, but I know with 3 kids in 3 schools there will be pleanty of school things to keep me busy.

My DH is gone all the time so I really can't work even if I wanted to. While I have my mom next door, she works a spilt shift at another school near by so she can't be around to watch kids while I work.
I tried to get a job at Kohl's before DD was born but then DH got a new job that took him back to a travel schedule.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

This year was the first year that I have had all day to myself. After almost 13 years of being a SAHM and doing everything that was mentiond here, I have to admit that I feel a little guilty that I'm not doing something more. Don't get me wrong, I know that I run the household, and the kid's lives but I don't do anythng for myself when I could be. I have considered going back to school. As much as I love to volunteer at the school, and have a nice clean house and landscaping, and spending way too much time on the DIS , I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing that stuff.

That's why I have my 2010 blinkie. To remind me to take care of me sometimes. I tend to get buried under Mount Washmore, and BAMB's taxi service so I need a nudge every once in a while to do something selfish.

 

[ilovejack02]

My neighbor goes back to bed after getting her kids off to school! Not much could get done then, I suppose.

There are days that this is exactly what happens lol!


I clean, cook, grocery shop, volunteer, visit my elderly parents , play on the dis, work in the yard.

Used to be able to see all my girlfriends for lunch once a week, but most have gotten divorced and back to work.

Summertime revolves around day camps, play dates, pool time and vacation.

 

[lovetonap]

I homeschool my kids, but if they go to school one day, I will continue to be a SAHM. If that happens, I don't foresee me doing a lot of cleaning. I have a woman who comes to clean for me now and that would continue. But I do think that I would spend more time cleaning and organizing the house. I also think I'd enjoy having more time to cook and bake. Other than that, I would probably go to the gym everyday (I already exercise regularly, but I would go at a more "social" time than I'm able to at this point). I would shop and do errands. I would spend time updating photo albums, scrapbooking, etc. I would help my husband do some administrative work for his business when necessary. And I would definitely sneak in a few naps here and there!