Starting my Infertility journey, and I'm scared. (a tad TMI)

[dhardawa]

I have not dealt with infertility, but my pregnancy with my daughter was so bad that the chance of me dying carrying another baby outweighed the risk of doing so.

So, I adopted my son. Even if I could carry another baby, I would never do it again. I love adopting and I love him as much as my biological child. So, if this fails, it doesn't mean you can't have another baby. It just means you can't carry another baby and, really, if you're like me, the end goal is being a parent to another child which you get either way.

Good luck in your treatment though. Hopefully that will work out for you.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Hi... I thought I would share my story. You are definately not alone.

We tried for almost a year before I went to my OB. I went thru all the same tests you listed and they couldnt find anything so He put me on Femara for a few months. It is actually a medications for breast cancer but one of the side effects is increased ovulation. When that didnt work he referred me to an RE. That is when we found out that we have male side of infertility. TMI...His count was great but the motility was super low. They told DH to cut tobaccco out and we found some vitamins that are suppose to help with motility. RE put me on clomid and we tried 3 IUI's with no luck.

DH & I debated on what to do next. I wanted to look at adoption but DH wanted a baby that was "his". I hate to say this but our marriage was really on a rocky road at that point. To me, if we were going to spend that kind of money I wanted to put it in something that was a guarentee and I knew adoption would be, even if it took awhile. DH held his ground tho so we decided to give IVF a shot. In January 08 we started the process but my body was not cooperating so we had to wait another cycle. Finally February was successful in ovulating.

Now I'm sitting her watching my beautiful little girl who will be 11 months tomorrow. Tonight we are taking her to Disney on Ice. She is worth every shot, every hotflash from the meds, every tear in frustration I shed.

We still have 4 embryos frozen in the labs. After our February 2010 trip I am going to start saving for the next round.

I love these success stories. I hope you had fun at Disney on Ice, we had a blast with DD when she was about 18 months old at Sesame Street Live. I bet she really was worth all of the aggrivation I say that all the time about the crappy pregnancy I had with DD. I would do it again ten times over!

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. I am a surrogate mother and I have met so many with infertility issues. Discuss all your options with your RE and then you and your DH need to decide which one will give you the best options. As for traveling to another country to try IVF, well yes they can be cheaper but what about the cost for you both to travel, where to stay the cost for living there for at least a few weeks and taking the time off work. Then say it doesn't work the first time you would then have to do all those coast over again. Some Re's offer specials like 3 for the cost of one or half your money back if it doesn't work. The meds are the expensive part, but does your insurance cover any of it? Mine covered some of it like my prog. estrogen, and lupron.
Also do try to not stress too much as that can effect things. You and your DH will have some rough times and it makes it easier to keep things light hearted so not to let it get in the way of your relationship.
I have known quite a few that have gotten pg once they thought they had given up or have used a surro and low and behold they had less stress and got pg. I know easier said than done huh?

That's so cool you're a surrogate. I've thought of that, many times. I just don't know how it works to have a baby born with surrogate.

I know our insurance doesn't cover "ovulation induction" but it does cover SOME of the drugs involved, I checked on the Aetna website. We'll see when it comes down to it, though. Only time will tell, right?

Ahh stress, I was a mess this morning and for the past few weeks. There's no doubt in my mind that stress has played a factor in preventing me from gettign pregnant. I know it's not the main factor by any means, but it's definitely a factor. LOL, yep, getting rid of stress is much easier said than done!

I'm so sorry you are on this emotional roller coaster. We had a 4 year battle to get our DD, 2 years of trying on our own and then 2 years with an RE. I ovulated regularly every month and they never could find anything wrong with me. I am a complete needle phobic, so I told them that I did not even want to talk about IVF until we had tried everything else possible. The 1st step for us was IUI's with no drugs. We were using frozen sperm so we had to get the timing perfect. Each IUI you have about a 15-20% chance of getting pregnant, and we missed the timing a few times, so we did several of those. When was your HSG? You have an increased chance of getting pregnant in the 3 months after an HSG. My doctor calls it the "roto-rooter" effect. After a several IUIs I had an HSG (I had put it off at the beginning because I'm a wimp-big mistake) and the second month after between the HSG effect and an IUI I got pregnant. Unfortunately I m/c. We went back to IUI's. When after a few of those I did not get pg again, we did Clomid. My Dr. does not let you do Clomid more than 3 months in a row without a break. He says more than that, it thins your uterine lining too much and if you get pregnant (which too long on Clomid can prevent so you can be making it worse with the Clomid) creates too big a risk of m/c. After 3 months of Clomid and IUI did not work, he switched me to Femara which I highly recommend. Femara does the exact same thing as Clomid, but it usually does not cause the side effects like Clomid and it does not thin the uterine lining, so you can stay on it longer. The reason some docs don't prescribe it first is that Clomid is considered the standard, generally accepted procedure; while infertility is an "off-brand" use for Femara which started off as a cancer drug. I got PG the 2nd month on Femara and those miserable 4 years were completely worth it! I can't say it was completely the Femara though. Before my last month of Clomid, he did another HSG, not for diagnostic but just to attempt to also recreate the exact conditions of the 1st time I got PG. I don't know whether it was the Femara or the HSG or a combination of the two, but whatever it was, it worked! Good luck, I hope you get pg soon!

Thank you for your support I can't wait to say "all that crap was completely worth it." LOL. I just had the HSG done about 2-3 weeks ago, so it wasn't too long ago. I asked my RE about Femara, but she said she really didnt have much experience with it... so much for an answer. Probably the "off-label" use. I've heard LOTS of HSG success stories. Maybe there is something to it!

I feel your pain, literally. I have a son that will be 6 in February and we've been trying on and off for 3 years and most recently 1 year straight of HSG, sperm analysis etc. We are currently on a break, we did 2 IUI's 1 with clomid/ovidrel and 1 with femara/ovidrel. I have PCOS and my DH has sperm issues, low counts and motility issues. We have a trip to the world planned for next month and when we come back we're going to look at where we are and what we want to do. We feel very blessed to have our son, he was actually conceived 3 weeks after I had a m/c so he's our miracle baby for sure!

Good luck on your journey, it's not easy one!

Awww! You have a miracle baby!

Wow, you've been through a lot, too. I was just told this afternoon that I have a "variant of PCOS" and I have to do a 2hr Glucose test soon. Ugh!

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you get your baby very soon Maybe you'll come back with a "souvenir!" (Ha, as hard as I try, my cycles NEVER line up with a WDW trip. EVER. Even our honeymoon, got AF the day after our wedding!)

Thought of a couple of things that might help if you are not doing them already. My RE suggested cutting down caffeine to no more than One Coke or one cup of coffee a day. I didn't get my good pregnancy until I cut out ALL caffeinated beverages completely. The RE also suggested yoga as it helps with relaxation and destressing you. There is a great DVD called yoga 4 fertility with Brenda Strong that I did the last couple months before getting pg. (I would use the yoga breathing techniques to try to keep relaxed and calm around the IUI days too). Plus, I kept up with the yoga after pregnancy with pre-natal yoga DVDs, and I never had any swelling or back pain like a lot of people do. I think it really helped

I've looked into the Yoga for Fertility DVD... maybe I should just buy it. I need all the relaxation I can get! I think there's something to yoga too. But it feels great when you're doing it, but man, I was sore the next day! I guess I have to take it easy when I do it. I tend to overdo things!

I've given up caffeine before, but I'm back off the wagon. I've just been so tired lately. I didn't really notice any differences in the caffeinated and non-caffeinated cycles... if there was a difference, I'd swear off the stuff for good.

Thank you for the tips!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

So here's the big update. My R.E. appt got rescheduled (grrr) from Tuesday or today (Thursday.) So, it went OK, as soon as I get AF I'm giong to start BC pills, and then have laproscopy done. I don't have the appt for that yet, the lady from the outpatient surgery office is going to call me. Fun, more waiting!
SO... I have a mild "variant of PCOS" and possibly endometriosis. After the lapro, she'll start me on clomid/100mg. She actually said she would do a few monitored cycles unmedicated... but I was like, "let's do the clomid."
Oh and lucky me, I get to do another 2hr glucose tolerance test! YAYY! I think I'll have to get my MIL to watch DD that day. That's torture enough for one person, nevermind one person and a 2 year old!

I still think I'm going to pick up one of those Yoga/Fertility DVD's. I could use some relaxation in the meantime.

Stinks I won't be able to TTC a "souvenir" at WDW since I'll be on BCP's, but hey at least I'll get to enjoy the F&W.. including the "W" part.

Now lets just hope AF comes at a reasonable pace, I haven't charted or kept track much this cycle. I used my fertility monitor up until day 19 and it kept registering "low" so I got frustrated and quit... I figured, this is my month off anyway. But, the R.E. said that if I don't get it by CD34, they'll induce it (I'm on CD27 now). I hope they don't have to, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Thank you all for all your success stories and all of your support. I genuinely thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Did you have a hysteroscopy done to see the inside of your uterus to see if there is scarring? That could rule out that problem.

My oldest DD is the result of 4 rounds of IVF. We started with Clomid and IUI because our issue was male factor (low count and motility). I hyperstimmed on the Clomid at 50mg, which is the lowest dose they use, generally. I had my 3rd IUI canceled because I had 7 follicles and my RE was terrified of higher-order multiple (a la Jon and Kate). It's really important to be monitored on Clomid, it's nothing to mess around with. Please, don't let some doctor hand you Clomid and not monitor you....the risks are huge and the side effects can actually hinder your ability to get pregnant (cysts and thinning of the lining of the uterus).

We moved to IVF because it was too dangerous to stim me and do an IUI. With IVF, they had more control. The shots weren't bad. Not fun, but I did 2 or 3 a night and got used to it. Given my history of hyperstimming, I was at the doctor every single day for blood work. I looked like an addict. My arms were all bruised, my veins collapsed. It wasn't pretty and that was the worst part. I enjoyed my egg retrievals. I love me some Fentanyl and Demerol. I was knocked out cold, woke up, and they told me how many eggs they got. Fun!

Cycle 1 and 3 were failures. Cycle 2 was an ectopic. Cycle 4 gave me my oldest DD. With cycle #4, we did a few things different. The other cycles, we just adjusted the medication a bit. Cycle #4, I refused to do it without further testing. I had an SHG done (normal). I had a recurrent loss panel done that required 22 tubes of blood be drawn from me (where it took 5 people to get all of it, one of whom asked me why I was there because she'd never seen someone have so much blood drawn...when I told her, she told me to go on vacation...I told her, "I thought about that, but this is really so much more fun!" ). All normal, except I tested positive for MTHFR. Over 40% of the population has an MTHFR mutation that can cause implantation failure and early losses. Unfortunately, it can also cause horrible late term losses before people realize they have it. I started mega doses of Folic Acid and Aspirin therapy. I began Metformin, which I read can help reduce hyperstimming (and, it did!). I got OHSS and was hospitalized, but that cycle, it was much less severe. I have PCOS, but I'm pretty much asymptomatic for it. My only symptom is elevated LH and my problem with hyperstimming on ovulation-inducing drugs, none of which I ever would have known about if I just got pregnant easily. Thankfully, unlike other people with more severe PCOS, I don't have to be on the Met forever because it's a tough drug to take. I will, however, have to take the Folic Acid and the Aspirin forever.

All of this would be useful without IVF, so it's something to think about checking out whatever route you take.

My 2nd and 3rd DDs were total surprises. People always say that once I got pregnant my body would somehow KNOW how to do it. Since our biggest barrier was sperm, I'm not sure how MY being pregnant helped his sperm, so I just nod politely and let it go.

So many of us have been there. You're not alone.

My BFF had a traumatic c-section that caused horrible damage to her uterus and she was able to get pregnant again. When they did her repeat section, the doctor said he was shocked, given what her uterus looked like. That kid found the one open spot in her uterus and stuck around (born on my b-day).

So, yeah, you never know. I suppose if I had just had more patience (as people have told me), I would have eventually gotten pregnant with DD2 and DD3, but I'd be missing DD1. She had to be created special in the lab. I don't regret for a second what I did to have her and I'd do it 100x more, even if someone said to wait and I'd eventually get pregnant....I do IVF 100x for her.

I wish you so much luck with everything! Definitely hook up with a Resolve group. I'm a volunteer counselor for Resolve (specializing in people going through multiple IVFs) and I also do some work in their insurance coverage section where I help people in my area navigate IF coverage on their insurance and pharmacy plans. They're a great resource and have group meetings and publications with information.

Thank you! I'm actually having a laproscopy done soon, within the next few weeks.

Wow, you've also gone through the wringer. I don't even know what to say!

That's a great idea about the Resolve counselor. Do I have to subscribe to find one? Can you help me, or does it have to be a local counselor?

I had to LOL about the sperm comment, and your body "knowing" how to be pregnant.. people mean well, but the things they say really make you shake your head! (HAHA my problems *started* after I gave birth to DD!)

So far my FSH, LH, and Estrogen are within the normal range.. but still something just isn't clicking. It's funny, 20-some years ago, my aunt had Endo and couldn't concieve without Clomid and Progesterone in the same cycle... and I'm starting to wonder (well, hope) if/that this is my case, too. All something to think about, I guess.

Thanks

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Crap... can I just cry now? I just totally lost all optimism, the gravity of the situation is hitting me now... crap, crap, crap.

 

[DisneyNutMic]

Those tears will be worth every single ounce of pain one day.

My story (I'll try to keep it short).......

Tried on our own for a year before going to the doctor when my body just quit working completely. Tried clomid for months and months and months. It gives me horrible headaches. Moved from OB to RE. Testing testing and more testing. I was diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistence (my HMO still doesn't understand this one). First IUI with injectibles resulted in a very early m/c. Took a month off and then went back. Second IUI they DOUBLED my meds. I ovulated alrighty. My husband's counts however were so low that they actually offered to cancel the IUI. I was ready though and we were rapidly becoming broke so I told them to do it anyway. I was so sure that it hadn't worked (the nurse apologized and hugged me as I walked out) that I didn't even test until 21 days after my IUI. I was pregnant and this one stuck like glue. He is now almost 8 years old. We tried for 4 years after he was born to have another child only to loose 3 more in the process. It is worth every tear I shed trying to get him here though. He is my pride and joy and he has a very definate purpose in this life.

Good luck with your journey. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[PigletsMommy]

Crap... can I just cry now? I just totally lost all optimism, the gravity of the situation is hitting me now... crap, crap, crap.

Cry now...in 5 minutes... in an hour...or even tomorrow. Screaming helps sometimes too. sending your way



Yesterday I started watching a 3 month old baby. Holding her made me feel miserable. We had always wanted our children to be close together in age but I've come to the realization that is not going to happen. At least not as close as I had wanted. It just takes a lot more planning when you *know* infertility treatments are your only option. I wish people would stop telling me that I will probably get pregnant on my own this year since we are not trying.

Your in my thoughts. Keep me posted and PM if you want.

 

[jlstwinmommy]

Cry now...in 5 minutes... in an hour...or even tomorrow. Screaming helps sometimes too. sending your way



Yesterday I started watching a 3 month old baby. Holding her made me feel miserable. We had always wanted our children to be close together in age but I've come to the realization that is not going to happen. At least not as close as I had wanted. It just takes a lot more planning when you *know* infertility treatments are your only option. I wish people would stop telling me that I will probably get pregnant on my own this year since we are not trying.

Your in my thoughts. Keep me posted and PM if you want.

I know exactly what you mean. My original plan was to have my all my kids by the time I was 30. Since I didn't even have my first one until 29, that got thrown out pretty early. I really wanted my kids to be about 2 years apart since that's what me and my sister are. I have to say, now that I have mine, the age gap has worked in my favor at times. I have one kid old enough to watch at least one of the twins for short amounts of time if I have to take the other to gymnastics or something while DH is on his way home. I do get tired of the "wow, you really waited a long time between kids" comments. It's not like it was on purpose.

Mrs. Charming - I think it's good to let those emotions out. I can't tell you how many nights I cried thinking I would never get pregnant. I think it really helps to talk to people who have been down this road before. Unless you've experienced infertility, you just can't understand the pain of going through it.

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

I just wanted to send you some hugs to lift you up a little bit from your low point.

My darling SIL (husband's brother and his wife) just gave birth this past May to a baby girl after 8 years of TTC. She was the result of their 2nd IVF treatment. We're very close as a family and it was harrowing to watch all they went through and we did a lot of crying together over the years.

I haven't experienced infertility personally (although my boys are a mix of bio and adopted as that's how we chose to grow our family) but I've seen the toll it can take on a family so I wanted to offer you lots and lots of hugs and baby dust.

If you're so inclined to accept them, I'll add prayers for strength and peace as you travel down this road.

 

[PiperPizzaz]

We went through 2 years to get my DS. He is 4 yo now. Maybe will be an only but, I am happy to have him!
Oh and the crap was totally worth it!