SSR Lovers and Owners Part 2

[MamaCrush]

Looks like my dreams for THV next year has fallen through. The a^^&0!e mooching brother in law stopped the whole thing. We have the points, and MIL, DW, and I agreed to pay for his children's tickets and food. Then, he wanted us to pay for him and his wife's tickets and food. I said no, but his mother said that she would. Then, he said that he prefers a summer vacation and demanded that we move it to July, and still pay for him. Now, he's telling his children that we won't let them go to Disney, which is of course guilting my MIL and DW into trying to accomodate the a^^&0!e. How can a free Disney vacation cause so much drama?

I don't suppose he'd agree to letting the kids and his wife go without him????

We haven't been DVC members very long, but we have already learned that family can be very demanding and unappreciative of our trying to share the magic.

 

[goofystitchfan]

You have got to be kidding me! I do agree that the more generous that you are with people, the more they expect......

 

[mamaprincess]

AirGoofy WOW!!! You don't have to give your points for dates that don't work for you. I would just let them know that this is when I am going and this is where I am staying. Tell them you'd love to have them join you but it will have to be during the original time frame and at the THV's. Beggars can't be choosers. Jeesh what nerve! If they need to go in July they need to organize that trip and pay for it. Perhaps you can appeal to all of the sensible folks around him and salvage this thing.

It is true that people really do take advantage of your generosity. It seems to me when folks don't pay for something, they think it's cheap and of no real value just because it's being given to them. We've experienced this before in different situations and in our up coming trip, we are having issues with family members trying to commandeer our vacation. We aren't having it. We are doing it our way. Our points, our money, our way.

 

[Dizny Dad]

A great example of how those that don't work for what they get begin to build expectations of what they deserve. BILs of the world will begin to unite, become a voice and a power that will have to be negotiated with or the rest of the world family will look upon those working and providing vacations for themselves as selfish, gready and evil. We need change; change we can believe in . . .

Sorry, couldn't help myself . . . . . to the THV, and Beyond ! ! !

By the way AirGoofy, you aren't alone.

 

[tea pot]

Looks like my dreams for THV next year has fallen through. The a^^&0!e mooching brother in law stopped the whole thing. We have the points, and MIL, DW, and I agreed to pay for his children's tickets and food. Then, he wanted us to pay for him and his wife's tickets and food. I said no, but his mother said that she would. Then, he said that he prefers a summer vacation and demanded that we move it to July, and still pay for him. Now, he's telling his children that we won't let them go to Disney, which is of course guilting my MIL and DW into trying to accomodate the a^^&0!e. How can a free Disney vacation cause so much drama?

Oh AirGoofy I'm so sorry to hear that..
Entitlement is a very difficult attitude to deal with.
Don't let him bully you and your wife or MIL, which he has apparently done for a long time.. DDad is right you are not alone I have had this BIL myself and when you stand up to him suddenly you become the bad guy.
Finally when I realized that he wasn't losing any sleep I was and What was I teaching my daughters ? So with strength and prayers I refused to be manipulated.

Sorry to go on but I guess that struck a nerve especially to be low enough to pull the kids into it Oh... there I go again.

Hope things work out,
take care

 

[purplern]

Wow Airgoofy! I agree with everyone else. It's your points, your vacation, your original time frame or NO way! I have a neighbor like that never happy with what is offered because it isnt really what she wanted. Too BAD! If you dont like it get a job and pay for it yourself!

Good luck

 

[my3princes]

Looks like my dreams for THV next year has fallen through. The a^^&0!e mooching brother in law stopped the whole thing. We have the points, and MIL, DW, and I agreed to pay for his children's tickets and food. Then, he wanted us to pay for him and his wife's tickets and food. I said no, but his mother said that she would. Then, he said that he prefers a summer vacation and demanded that we move it to July, and still pay for him. Now, he's telling his children that we won't let them go to Disney, which is of course guilting my MIL and DW into trying to accomodate the a^^&0!e. How can a free Disney vacation cause so much drama?

We learned long ago that we plan vacations when we want to go. We often offer accomdations to family if they choose to come when we're there. If not they're on their own. Plan your trip and enjoy, whether it is just you little family or some extended family.

 

[kikiq]

Looks like my dreams for THV next year has fallen through. The a^^&0!e mooching brother in law stopped the whole thing. We have the points, and MIL, DW, and I agreed to pay for his children's tickets and food. Then, he wanted us to pay for him and his wife's tickets and food. I said no, but his mother said that she would. Then, he said that he prefers a summer vacation and demanded that we move it to July, and still pay for him. Now, he's telling his children that we won't let them go to Disney, which is of course guilting my MIL and DW into trying to accomodate the a^^&0!e. How can a free Disney vacation cause so much drama?

No you can not lose any more sleep over this. It's your DVC, your points and you set the time. That mental midget can try to guilt folks into changing but you need to stand strong. Put that man's head really close to the computer, there are a few of us who would like to WHUP him in the head.

We have to take our long WDW trips in August. The only family members we consult are our DDs. Everyone else is welcome to join us at their expense, lodging is on us.

 

[purplern]

No you can not lose any more sleep over this. It's your DVC, your points and you set the time. That mental midget can try to guilt folks into changing but you need to stand strong. Put that man's head really close to the computer, there are a few of us who would like to WHUP him in the head.

We have to take our long WDW trips in August. The only family members we consult are our DDs. Everyone else is welcome to join us at their expense, lodging is on us.

 

[AirGoofy]

Wow, thank you to all for your support. The BIL is the only son/grandson with his parents/grandparents. He always got his way growing up, and that sense of entitlement just kept getting bigger. Originally, in a private conversation, he agreed to let us take the children. Later, when all were together, he said in front of them, "if I can't go, then no one can go". DW is torn between her brother/her mother and me with this. She too has been used to letting him get his way all his life. However, she likes October for vacation time as opposed to summer, so the dates won't change. But, he is holding the vacation plans hostage right now as we have to wait for him to make a decision. In the meantime, do I borrow points and book a THV for 5 people? Book 1 studio? Book 2 adjoining studios? It's just really frustrating. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[bigAWL]

Is there such thing as adjoining studios? I thought each studio adjoined to a one bedroom.

 

[zumbergc]

I don't believe there are. When we were in the planning stages of bringing my parents along. we were thinking 2 studios, cause its less points, turned into doing a 2 bedroom, so we would be together.

 

[franandaj]

I don't know what to tell you about all the accommodation sizes, but you need to take your trip when you need to do it. If it's not convenient for you to change it then don't. The only time we've taken family was my parents last January, we were flexible and so were they, so there weren't any problems. I'm lucky, my parents are very accomodating and we all agreed on the time and they were happy with it. For someone to be this arrogant and try and control it is terrible and to bring the kids into it and manipulate the situation is just awful.

I wish you the best of luck!

 

[Dizny Dad]

Is there such thing as adjoining studios? I thought each studio adjoined to a one bedroom.

There are no adjoining studio units.

Studios are created from the design of the two bedroom situation; a Two Bedroom Dedicated Unit (one outside door) and a Two Bedroom Lock-Off Unit (a one bedroom unit and an adjoining studio - two outside doors). The second bedroom in a Two Bedroom Lock-Off has a couch instead of a second double bed and it's own balcony, hence the creation of a studio unit.

Hope this helps.

 

[Dizny Dad]

. . . . he is holding the vacation plans hostage right now as we have to wait for him to make a decision. . . . . . . .

Only you can let him hold your vacation hostage. Set the date for him to accept or decline, and make your decision based on the information you have on that date. It might not hurt to let EVERYONE know the deadline for decision making; it may help in the story whispered after of how evil and greedy you were.

 

[mamaprincess]

Airgoofy, do what you need to do for you. Book where you want to book at the 11 mos window for the dates that work for you. Let everyone know when that is and if you don't have an answer from them by then, book a studio for you and DW. Make sure they know that after that date, you can't add them on. That way, the pressure will be on them. I'll bet if you stick to your guns and go without them if they insist on being bullied by him, next time they won't let him mess up a chance to go to WDW. When he sees things aren't going to change and he can not bully you into doing things his way, I'll bet he'll buckle at the 11th hour and just go with your dates.

It's simple so you need to break it down to him like this:

We are pitching in to pay for everything plus room. Our dates and accommodations are the following...that is it. If you have a problem with this free WDW vacation then your issues won't be resolved with me moving the dates. It's deeper than dates.

 

[MamaCrush]

Many families have a "BIL"... For ours, it was my sister. We all tip-toed around her all my life, so that's the only way I knew to handle her and her drama. And then I got sick of it in my early 20's. It was amazing how things changed once I quite catering to her every whim and tried to second-guess what she would want to do. Even more so once I got married and had my children. You'll never change those types of people, but it is emotionally freeing to make your immediate family the priority and take the control away from them. Hopefully your DW will be able to do that! It's a great feeling....

 

[Pixieflip]

Many families have a "BIL"... For ours, it was my sister. We all tip-toed around her all my life, so that's the only way I knew to handle her and her drama. And then I got sick of it in my early 20's. It was amazing how things changed once I quite catering to her every whim and tried to second-guess what she would want to do. Even more so once I got married and had my children. You'll never change those types of people, but it is emotionally freeing to make your immediate family the priority and take the control away from them. Hopefully your DW will be able to do that! It's a great feeling....

I'm with you. We, too, had to learn how to stand up to the family member who held us hostage with their vacation demands/issues. Now that we stand our ground, sometimes they come with us, sometimes they don't. The beauty of it is that my memories of the trip are so much better without all the bitterness of previous trips that were trampled on by others.

Sending Pixie Dust to everyone who needs it! Be brave, but kind. It's your vacation, too. Actually, it's YOUR vacation.

 

[Pixieflip]

Only you can let him hold your vacation hostage. Set the date for him to accept or decline, and make your decision based on the information you have on that date. It might not hurt to let EVERYONE know the deadline for decision making; it may help in the story whispered after of how evil and greedy you were.

This! You will need this info for later! I have so been there.

 

[purplern]

Wow, thank you to all for your support. The BIL is the only son/grandson with his parents/grandparents. He always got his way growing up, and that sense of entitlement just kept getting bigger. Originally, in a private conversation, he agreed to let us take the children. Later, when all were together, he said in front of them, "if I can't go, then no one can go". DW is torn between her brother/her mother and me with this. She too has been used to letting him get his way all his life. However, she likes October for vacation time as opposed to summer, so the dates won't change. But, he is holding the vacation plans hostage right now as we have to wait for him to make a decision. In the meantime, do I borrow points and book a THV for 5 people? Book 1 studio? Book 2 adjoining studios? It's just really frustrating. Thanks for letting me vent.

Give him a deadline I have to know by xyz and if you dont let me know I'll go without you! I say go for the THV if that's what you really want.