Spreading the magic guest to guest

[fbb]

It must be exhausting to live a life where people are constantly looking for ways to be offended at gestures from strangers that are intended to be nothing but a random act of kindness.

jtowntoflorida's experience has poisoned that well for some of us.

 

[surferdave]

 

[jennadi8]

My kids always share their dollar store glow sticks with other kids at the parade and Fantasmic! Somehow they just do it and I've never prodded them to do it! Every kid has been super excited!

But the best "gift" we've given is offering to ride with a young child on expedition Everest. The dad in front of us had twin boys and I had my two boys. One of the twins had told his dad that he would ride alone but I could tell he was scared. I said "wow you are brave". "I have to ride by myself too so will you ride with me?" Making it sound like it was him helping me out. As soon as we got on the ride he grabbed my hand and didn't let go! His dad was so thankful and it made my day as well!

 

[JimmyV]

But the best "gift" we've given is offering to ride with a young child on expedition Everest. The dad in front of us had twin boys and I had my two boys. One of the twins had told his dad that he would ride alone but I could tell he was scared. I said "wow you are brave". "I have to ride by myself too so will you ride with me?" Making it sound like it was him helping me out. As soon as we got on the ride he grabbed my hand and didn't let go! His dad was so thankful and it made my day as well!

That's what I'm talkin' about!! Way, way better than gadgets and gizmos a plenty, or whozits and whatzits galore!!

 

[Kristina4109]

On our last day in DL in September, I bought my daughter a birthday gift of a bouquet of Mickey lollipops. She doesn't like the green nor the orange ones. While on line for it's a small world, I asked a little girl's Mom (NOT the little girl herself, mind you) if she would like the lollipops for her daughter. Made sure the little girl was not paying attention. The Mom was very happy and took the lollipops.

It's an important point - if you're going to give out any kind of food, be sure to ask the parent when the kid is not listening. You never know what allergies or food issues the family might have and you don't want to raise a kid's hopes and then have them dashed!

 

[MakiraMarlena]

giving out food items (especially if you prepare and/or bring your own food items with the intent of handing them out to others) is fraught with complications, especially if you don't intend to ask the parents first or feel that you can't ask the parents out of hearing of the child(ren). Some appear to think that the "magic" is ruined if you ask the parent first, and then what if the parent says no? But it's really up to the parent, not the child, what the child can accept.

I'm fascinated by the story of the person who went to WDW with the intent of handing toys out to children who "looked poor." what were their criteria for looking poor, considering that not many of the truly poor would be likely to hang around in a WDW park in the first place. And then they got called out by someone on the board whose child received one of their gifts, for assuming that they or their child looked "poor." Great story if it isn't a DISurban legend.

 

[ruthies12]

Since you asked I'm going to give an honest answer.

I have a 6 year old dd who is a magpie and accumulates so much stuff you wouldn't believe it. she hates for anything to be thrown away so I have to discreetly get rid of all the small junk that comes into our home through the happy meals her grandmother buys her, all the parties at school for Halloween, valentines day, 100th day of school, etc. the stickers clerks want to give her at the grocery store and the bank, etc., the goodie bags of junk from birthday parties, I could go on and on.

I don't think I can sufficiently describe the massive amounts of crap that comes from all sources. Bins of the stuff! I truly believe the givers are just trying to be nice, but enough is enough.

So I have to be honest and say that if a stranger offered my child a dollar store trinket at Disneyworld I would be seriously annoyed. If I were able to politely decline because my child didn't hear the offer, then I would. If I didn't feel able to decline because it would upset my dd, then I would take it and you would get a very ungracious thank you.

 

[ilovebassets]

So I have to be honest and say that if a stranger offered my child a dollar store trinket at Disneyworld I would be seriously annoyed. If I were able to politely decline because my child didn't hear the offer, then I would. If I didn't feel able to decline because it would upset my dd, then I would take it and you would get a very ungracious thank you.

I completely agree. No more dollar store stuff that's going to end up in the trash or recycling. It clutters my house, pollutes the earth, and is almost certainly made by someone else in a developing country who has no other choice than to put themselves in unsafe and/or unsanitary working conditions for very little pay. It also downgrades my attempts at surprising my children and leads to them to constantly expect to be gifted with something for no particular reason. Our children are constantly bombarded with useless stuff that they lose interest in very quickly even if we don't ever get them anything at all. (Gifts from friends at birthday parties or end of year gifts, trinkets from school, extended family members, happy meals, etc). There is nothing magical about that.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

I really just don't like the idea of handing out "stuff" in the parks--and for many reasons.

Some people want to give something to a little one who looks like they're having a bad time or need cheering up. Well, maybe that child just threw the tantrum to end all tantrums and is being punished. Worst thing in the world is to give them something to reinforce their behavior!

Or you ask the parent in front of the child and the parent wants to say no, for whatever reason. Now they're made to look like the "bad guy" or are guilted into saying yes instead.

Food is just a no-no for many reasons.

I don't like the idea of showing kids it's okay to take from strangers. Even if mom or dad is there. Some may find it hard to distinguish when it's okay and when it's not.

And then just the clutter of so much "stuff" our kids are inundated with these days!

It's been mentioned here, but worth repeating. The best "random acts of kindness" are just that.

Help the mom struggling with two toddlers, a stroller, a diaper bag, sippy cups, etc. Grab the stroller and lift it onto the bus for her.

Give up a seat to someone who just looks more tired than you are right then--regardless if they're older/younger, male/female, etc. etc.

Hold a door and say "Good morning". Or say "Hello Princess" to a dressed-up little girl ahead of you in line. Turn to your spouse and say, "We better watch out. I hear there's pirates in the area," when you're walking behind the little boy dressed from Pirate's League.

Clear your tables after you eat! Let a little one in front of your coveted space to watch the parade! Let the family with very hungry little ones ahead of you in the QS line!

Believe me, those are the things that will be remembered and thought of as "magical" long after the dollar store piece of junk is thrown away.

 

[Hokie2000]

Last big trip we took, I had a newborn with me. I offered several moms a diaper/wipes/etc when I saw them looking at those items at the little "shops" in the care stations. That was very appreciated each time!

That's a very nice way to spread the magic.

Disney band-aids would be an idea, OP. I know as a mom of three I never seem to have a band-aid when I need it and between excited kids and hard surface walkways I tend to need them a lot in WDW!

On an unrelated note, I need to remember to pack band-aids this trip.

 

[cattywampus]

No more exhausting than it is to spend time conjuring up ways to make oneself feel special by trying to "spread magic" to people who are already immersed in it. The whole point of the original post is to pre-plan and calculate ways to weave their "magic" into other peoples' vacations. That is the very antithesis of a random act of kindness. I don't think too many people would quarrel with true random acts of kindness. But plotting ways to give trinkets to kids is anything but.

I have to say that while I think some folks have nothing but good intention, I agree with this and other that say it feels off to the parents.

I always have a lot of glow sticks and toys in my bag, but not with forethought to hand them out to others. Last trip, we did come upon a custodial CM with an obviously lost 2 year old, The boy was crying and we stopped because we had a little one with us and thought the boy might feel better with another child (which he did). As we were all waiting to see if the parent was going to return (they eventually did), the child started to get visibly upset and I started pulling light up toys and glow sticks out of my bag as a distraction. We all started making glow stick necklaces and bracelets and he got happier. Finally, the parent returned and we did send the glow sticks and the light up ball he had been playing with, along with him.

I got teased that I was a somewhat grouchier Mary Poppins because everytime the child got upset, I went back into my bag and pulled something out. It was indeed a random act of kindness initiated by a very specific situation. I did not pack those things in case I came across an unhappy child or to purposely share at specific events like parades (though I wouldn't hesitate if it came about naturally).

It is a small difference and a big one... all at the same time.

 

[jcjen519]

I would never be upset with anyone for doing this but honestly I would really rather they didn't. Our son has SO much. We really struggle with limiting what he gets and teaching him that he doesn't get everything he wants and not to expect big surprises while still making things special.

People once gave us something pretty nice one night a couple years ago on the boat back to the gf. My son had the item already back in the room and he was about 3 and really didn't want it. I don't think they got the response thy were looking for and I don't really think it was fair to expect anything out of a kid that little. He said thank you but there was no excitement. I really do appreciate the kindness of these gestures but it's a little awkward. I really can't emphasize enough that there's no anger or anything from me I just would rather people not do this.

 

[jtowntoflorida]

Yep. I remember two threads like this getting off the rails: the one where the proud good deed doer said she was actively seeking out people at WDW who looked poor (and someone she had given her little home made dolls to responded in surprise that they looked poor), and the person who was kindly & literally pixie dusting people, as in sprinkling very fine glitter on them.

I'm fascinated by the story of the person who went to WDW with the intent of handing toys out to children who "looked poor." what were their criteria for looking poor, considering that not many of the truly poor would be likely to hang around in a WDW park in the first place. And then they got called out by someone on the board whose child received one of their gifts, for assuming that they or their child looked "poor." Great story if it isn't a DISurban legend.

It's no urban legend...I'm the person who was targeted by the "magic spreader." Over a year after my daughter received a porcelain doll at Disney from a random stranger, I saw a post on here by the person who said she was handing out dolls to families "you could tell had used most of their funds for the trip and probably we're not up to purchasing the expensive Disney gizmos." We had trip dates that aligned and she did confirm later that we were the recipients of one of her dolls.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3277421&page=7

 

[JimmyV]

It's no urban legend...I'm the person who was targeted by the "magic spreader." Over a year after my daughter received a porcelain doll at Disney from a random stranger, I saw a post on here by the person who said she was handing out dolls to families "you could tell had used most of their funds for the trip and probably we're not up to purchasing the expensive Disney gizmos." We had trip dates that aligned and she did confirm later that we were the recipients of one of her dolls.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3277421&page=7

Well, to be fair, your "location" as listed under your screen name says "Skid Row"! I assume that isn't a reference to the late-80's Hair Band.

 

[jtowntoflorida]

Well, to be fair, your "location" as listed under your screen name says "Skid Row"! I assume that isn't a reference to the late-80's Hair Band.

HA! I changed my location and my tag line (?--whatever that is called) after that series of posts!

Though to be fair...Sebastian Bach now and forevermore rocks the house!

 

[chelseabun76]

Our family is huge on manners and respect. I think saying please and thank you and smiling at everyone around you, and complimenting the great CM's is a great way to spread the magic.

 

[Angel Ariel]

That's what I'm talkin' about!! Way, way better than gadgets and gizmos a plenty, or whozits and whatzits galore!!

I agree that what the person you quoted did was awesome, and likely something I would probably do as well.

That said, I can also see how there could be many people who would not react kindly to a stranger interacting with their child in that manner, or who would look at someone suspiciously for doing so as well. All you have to do is look at the bathroom threads here to see how much distrust there is of other park goers in general. It's not a stretch, IMO, to think some might also have an issue with that type of pixie dust.

 

[Angel Ariel]

giving out food items (especially if you prepare and/or bring your own food items with the intent of handing them out to others) is fraught with complications, especially if you don't intend to ask the parents first or feel that you can't ask the parents out of hearing of the child(ren). Some appear to think that the "magic" is ruined if you ask the parent first, and then what if the parent says no? But it's really up to the parent, not the child, what the child can accept.

I'm fascinated by the story of the person who went to WDW with the intent of handing toys out to children who "looked poor." what were their criteria for looking poor, considering that not many of the truly poor would be likely to hang around in a WDW park in the first place. And then they got called out by someone on the board whose child received one of their gifts, for assuming that they or their child looked "poor." Great story if it isn't a DISurban legend.

There was a link to the thread where this happened that was posted earlier in this thread. Maybe on page 2? Definitely not a legend.

 

[disneyholic family]

Our family is huge on manners and respect. I think saying please and thank you and smiling at everyone around you, and complimenting the great CM's is a great way to spread the magic.

i was about to post this - that the way people could spread the magic would be by being a tad more polite than what i've observed recently at WDW.
for example, how about putting your child in your lap in the waiting area for 50's prime time instead of having that child take a seat when an 85 year old woman is standing and is clearly in need of a seat.
And there wasn't only one person who had their very young kids in seats while this 85 year old woman leaned against the wall.

or how about not making such an incredible mess in the bathrooms. Like making sure you actually get the paper towel into the garbage?
or making sure your kids paper towel gets into the garbage.

so many other things come to mind.

manners seem to have gone out the window.

And of course smile and be friendly to other guests - to me that's magical.

 

[Maggie Lizer]

OMG, jtowntoflorida, that is hilarious! Don't feel bad - I am sure we looked poor too, what with me telling my son that he couldn't have this toy or that light-up doodad (because he already has too many toys and gadgets at home, but no one at WDFW knows that). And using a cheap-o umbrella stroller instead of a MacLaren or a BOB. I guess we wouldn't have been considered for a porcelain doll, though, since my kids are both boys.

As a mom of little ones, I think it is fine to offer something to my kids, but agree you should check with me first. If my older DS is in a full-blown meltdown, I don't want to "reward" him with stickers or balloons in order to get him to quiet down. But if you are checking out of the resort and want to give my boys your Mickey head balloons and the boys are being good (or at least as good as small boys can be), the that is a really sweet and appreciated gesture that they would enjoy.

I bring a few tubes of glow sticks for evenings and have handed them out to other kids. I figure they only last for so long anyway, so I am not giving some "useless" Dollar Store junk. And I always have those little packets from the Target dollar spot with a coloring book, crayons and stickers in my bag - I have given out one or two of those to other families in restaurants to keep their kids occupied til the food came (I asked the parents first). We are trying pin trading this time, and if someone wanted to give my DS and extra pin, I wouldn't turn them down. Food is probably an iffy thing because of allergies, and maybe I am naïve, but if someone wanted to give my DS a sealed piece of candy, I would probably allow it.

I also offer to take pictures for families, and have let people go in front of me in the restroom if they have kids doing the potty dance. Or if Mom is doing the potty dance. Holding doors, having my boys sit on my lap to free up a seta in a crowded bus, eating and skedaddling in a busy CS restaurant so someone else can have the table. Just basic, polite gestures.

I remember once when I was very young, an older woman in a wheelchair invited my sister and I to sit on the curb in front of her in the handicapped section to get a good view of MSEP. Nearly 30 years later I still remember that, and appreciate how kind she was. She became our adopted grandma for an hour or so, and she made our night. Things like that really stick with people.