Sports Team Travel Policy questions

[Aneille]

The issue is what the 'expectations' should be. I think everyone is in agreement coaches/chaperones should never be intoxicated. Some of us, however, see a difference between a "drink or two" and "drunk". To me, if the drinks come out after curfew factors into it too, as well as whether the drinking is at the hotel (when they don't have to drive).


But the rules in the OP would have (if followed) prevented BOTH of the incidents you list.

Yes they would have. I am not for/against the team staying together. I stated earlier I traveled from MA to CA at about 13 years old with my team and no parents. I also went on other over night stays and nothing crazy ever happened. They chaperones and coaches had rules and they were followed, although we did try to break a few of them.

I probably wouldn't hestitate to allow my child at the age she is now 10 to travel with those rules with her current team/coach.

But I don't think an association should be able to prevent a parent from saying that they aren't comfortable and want to stay with their child. According to the OP if the parents aren't comfortable then their child can't play in over-night tournaments for any team since its an association rule. Every soccer team must follow those rules.

There has to be a way to get around the rule.

 

[undertheradar]

There were travel rules on the MSA website that if a written letter from the parents, along with permission from the team coach, along with permission from the MSA representative accompanying the team, all done before leaving the home province, then the entire scenario that is so upsetting to the OP could be avoided. The team manager has already stated that if the OP does not like the rules it is fine if her daughter does not participate in the tournament. This entire thread has had a majority of posters that have family members in activities that follow the same rules when they travel. Since this appears to be the OP's oldest child, there is the new experience of having to step back and allow her daughter to stay with the team per the MSA travel rules. OP has posted several times about how she dislikes the team manager, not sure why she would want her daughter around a team that would allow someone who isn't up to her approval to be responsible for the team operations.

What we don't know is how many chaperones are expected to accompany the team, how many coaches and trainers, and whether or not the MSA has arrangements made for added security around the team rooms. We also don't know if anyone associated with the team will be drinking.

 

[PlutoPony]

IMO, that question is better handled one-on-one, probably right after practice. If you want to change the policy, it sounds like you need to go to the organization... whoever set out the rules. If you can't get the rules changed, you either live with them, break them (and suffer any consequences), or drop the sport. Please tell me what other options there are.

Along those lines, if I felt as strongly about it as the OP I would talk to the coach directly explaining my concerns about drinking while supervising the team. The coach may agree and commit to not drinking while at the tournaments, which is ultimately what the OP wants. No need to go outside the team for that and everyone is happy

 

[Aneille]

There were travel rules on the MSA website that if a written letter from the parents, along with permission from the team coach, along with permission from the MSA representative accompanying the team, all done before leaving the home province, then the entire scenario that is so upsetting to the OP could be avoided. The team manager has already stated that if the OP does not like the rules it is fine if her daughter does not participate in the tournament.

So if what you just said is correct, I would not go and then try to change teams next year that would allow you to get permission from MSA.

And if this is the case OP why can't you bypass the team manager and go straight to the coach to get the exception.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

Along those lines, if I felt as strongly about it as the OP I would talk to the coach directly explaining my concerns about drinking while supervising the team. The coach may agree and commit to not drinking while at the tournaments, which is ultimately what the OP wants. No need to go outside the team for that and everyone is happy

If you approach the coach and ask if he will be drinking (implying he has before) you can pretty much count DD off the team next year anyway -or on the bench.

Kids don't get cut as often as parent's do. If you aren't comfortable with the rules, coach, or manager - then I would suggest your daughter drop off the team before not 'making it' next year.

In youth sports the squeekly wheel does not get oiled - it gets replaced.

 

[marlynnp]

IMO, that question is better handled one-on-one, probably right after practice. If you want to change the policy, it sounds like you need to go to the organization... whoever set out the rules. If you can't get the rules changed, you either live with them, break them (and suffer any consequences), or drop the sport. Please tell me what other options there are.

You did miss one - STAY HOME!
Apparently the OP's child can be on the team and not participate in the tournaments.

 

[skater]

That's great - however, ds13 has games every weekend, dd8 has games every weekend, ds8 has games every weekend, the girls have dance every weekend... DH coaches a travel team, and is in charge of scheduling tournaments. Because of our situation, they're always within an hour away, and require no overnight accomodations. Kids are busy - I can't imagine it's easy for many families to sacrifice an entire weekend for one child!

I think for me, the issue would be about choice. For those families who can't go on a trip, there is usually another family willing to take that child. But the choice should still be the parents IMO.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

When our marching band goes on trips, chaperons, staff, and music association officers inspect luggage for contraband.

Boys stay on one floor and girls stay on another. There usually double up (4 to a room), and chaperons check that students are in their correct room at "lights out". Someone monitors the halls to make sure everyone stays put. That doesn't mean that shenanigans don't happen, but if any does, it's consensual.

Students ARE allowed to stay with adults, but only if it's the student's parent, and assuming the parent is chaperoning (and is therefore in the same hotel).

I would be much more concerned if a teacher or staff member was allowed to stay in the same room as a student.

And if any adult is drinking, they are hiding it.