Sports parent rant

[Shel]

Help me understand sports parents...

Rant #1 - I have a DD13 who is on the school basketball team. The coach plays the same 5 girls consistently, so my DH & I have basically gone for 3 years watching other girls lose basketball games. The other team members may get to play a minute or two if they're lucky. So far this year their stats are 0 - 5. So what does the coach do as punishment?? Makes them run. Granted they have to be able to move up & down the court quickly, but it makes more sense to me to work on plays/shooting/layups, etc.

Rant #2 - Why do the schools, or the academic educators & leaders feel that it's important enough for students to have a winter break (used to be called a Christmas break, but that's for another thread!), away from the pressures of school, tests, homework...and have that time to get refreshed & spend time away for the holidays? And yet those involved in sports are expected to be at practices every day but the actual holidays? Why can't the coaches see that it's important to give these kids a break? It's middle school basketball for goodness sakes! Now my dd feels guilty because we're spending a week at my parent's house and she's going to miss 4 practices. I think it's ridiculous for the sports department to have that kind of policy. When school is closed, it should be closed - PERIOD.

Rants over. Input or comments welcome.

 

[debster812]

Oooh, I thought you were going to be ranting about sports parents, but it's really a school/coach rant. Still incredibly frustrating, I know.

We have not hit this yet. DS is 9YO and played soccer year round for the first time last year. We had a last minute opportunity to go to FL for April vacation, but I checked with his coach first. She told me it would be FOOLISH to miss a week in FL for a U10 soccer game.

I have no good advice for you, just offering some sympathy.

 

[Buckalew11]

My 12yo plays school basketball and our coach is better than yours, LOL. Everyone plays (granted there is only 8 players) not equal time though. It would be frustrating to all involoved to have a 0-5 record and keep playing the same 5. As Dr. Phil says, "How's that working for ya?"

And we're lucky with practices at this point also. We'll have a few over the holidays (probably 3?) but not mandatory and it won't keep you from playing when games start up again.

 

[Anewman]

1. I have never complained about playing time, except once. My kids have always been starters but one time My son was having a bad game and I yelled out from the stands "COACH you need to hit for him!" He kept my son in the lineup who then hit a double.

I do see it from the other side though, why must some coaches sit their better players when the game is still undecided????
Trust me it is just as frustrating to lose a game because the coach wanted to give little "Bobby" a chance to play during the critical last inning, and then after he strikes out(as usual) everyone is forced to tell the kid "NICE TRY!" I understand TEE BALL and the younger divisions, but in HIGH SCHOOL ball it is not about making those kids feel good.


2. No student is forced to give up their winter break they CHOOSE to do so or they can choose to not join the team. In the last 3 years our only vacation weeks available due to school/sports have been in AUG. Right now my son is wrestling, and as soon as that ends he trys out for the high school baseball team which plays through spring break and then football which eats up most of summer. My daughter does Volleyball(summer/fall), Soccer(winter) and then Softball(spring). I dont complain because they choose to play, and we are well aware of the commitments made when joining the teams.

 

[disney junky]

When I coached junior high basketball, we actually had tournaments over the holidays. The kids and parents knew it up front. I actually enjoyed the practice times over the holiday vacation because there wasn't the fighting for gym space, kids seemed to be a lot more well rested, there were a few players whose families had little minivacations to relatives planned...we adjusted.

My policy (and the school's at the time) was that if you made the team, you played. Winning and losing (these were 7th and 8th graders) wasn't the main goal...teaching fundamentals was. I got ripped by a set of parents for not playing to win, and that was the whole problem with the program....all that good stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'd get everyone in the first half, and then if we had the opportunity to win the game in the second half, I'd coach for that, but I just wanted to offer another side.

A couple years ago in our league, a certain powerhouse parochial school's jv team beat another team 112-2. They used a full court press the entire game. It's the way they play, says the coach...both their jv and varsity team use a full court press the entire game no matter what the score, and have for years. But it's a powerhouse program so they continue to do it.

If this is your first experience with sports at this level, get ready for quite a ride. You'll see the best and the worst of human nature.

 

[minkydog]

1. I have never complained about playing time, except once. My kids have always been starters but one time My son was having a bad game and I yelled out from the stands "COACH you need to hit for him!" He kept my son in the lineup who then hit a double.

I do see it from the other side though, why must some coaches sit their better players when the game is still undecided????
Trust me it is just as frustrating to lose a game because the coach wanted to give little "Bobby" a chance to play during the critical last inning, and then after he strikes out(as usual) everyone is forced to tell the kid "NICE TRY!" I understand TEE BALL and the younger divisions, but in HIGH SCHOOL ball it is not about making those kids feel good.


2. No student is forced to give up their winter break they CHOOSE to do so or they can choose to not join the team. In the last 3 years our only vacation weeks available due to school/sports have been in AUG. Right now my son is wrestling, and as soon as that ends he trys out for the high school baseball team which plays through spring break and then football which eats up most of summer. My daughter does Volleyball(summer/fall), Soccer(winter) and then Softball(spring). I dont complain because they choose to play, and we are well aware of the commitments made when joining the teams.

This makes me glad my kids do music & theater

 

[ucfsweetie82]

High school b-ball was one thing I really regretted doing in high school. The coach had his favorites and had no problem openly showing that. He once asked every other person on the team sitting on the bench if they had played in the game yet, and never asked me.
My freshman and sophomore year I played on J.V. I could get the ball off of varsity players and I was forced to run for beating his varsity.
Needless to say my junior and senior year I stuck to band and theater, and was much happier.

 

[LBAK]

I think we took our last Disney vacation for a while due to DD 11's sports schedule. She made commitments to select teams and we know what we have to sacrifice to do it. Frustrating yes, but we're going into it with our eyes wide open. It also helps that older DD went through this too.

 

[golfgal]

For middle school basketball I find this a little unreal, ESPECIALLY for girls. You just never know who is going to develop into a good player. I am not a big fan of 'equal' playing time but I don't think at that age kids should only play a minute of a game. Things can be done to structure that differently, have two teams, play every other game, play a 5th quarter for kids that didn't see much court time, etc.

As a former high school coach it was SO frustrating for me to see these jr high coaches treat their teams like NBA teams. I have had PLENTY of athletes that were NOT good jr high players go on to be superstar varsity players. I have a fairly good winning percentage and I have NEVER had a team where I haven't played at least 8 girls (and only because I only had 8 on that team) on a regular basis.

I agree that running for running sake is a waste of time. If nothing else they should at least be dribbling the basketball while they are running. Everything should incorporate at least 2 fundamentals or it is wasted time. That is something I learned from one of the winningest coaches in the state of Minnesota.

Are there any other options for basketball for your DD?

 

[Katie]

Okay a few thoughts:

1) I have a son that is a 6th grader playing on the 7th grade team.( we don't have a 6th grade team). He also starts for the 7th grade team. He has gotton alot of "flack" from some of the non-starter's 7th grade boys. He responds, the coach is going to play the boys that give him the best chance to win. End of story.
He has been to basketball camps since he was 8, at least 2-3 a summer. He played AYB basketball this summer( a summer competitive basketball league), he has trophies galore from winning different basketball ball competitions.
So, when he has been working his butt off practicing in the driveway, attending camps,last year he played in 3 different leagues during the winter, and working hard....where have the other boys been??
Some of the boys this is there first year of basketball, they did NOT even play YOUTH LEAGUE.
I believe if you work hard , you should get rewarded.

Our coach plays about 5-8 guys a game. If we are ahead or losing by 10-20 points, the other boys get some time.


As far as the running...great conditioning! It makes them stronger and less tired during the game. One day, my DS played 96 full minutes (4 full games) of basketball in one day ( a 5th grade BB tournament). He never got winded...his coach has those kids conditioned! Same thing with the football coach...our team never gets tired and "lets down", they go hard through the entire game, (eneded 9-1, last year..first defeat in 4 years)


2) As far as vacations, go...you should have been told when your daughter tried out for the team that the team would practice during Xmas break! DS has Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and the day after off...other than that..practice 3 hours per day! At our school, for every practice you miss you sit out 1-2 games, so, in your daughter's case she would not even have the opportunity to play for 4-8 games. Team sports are a committment, and if the player doesn't want to commit, then they should be playing youth league or YMCA leagues.

We would have loved to go to Florida for Xmas this year...but not possible. Easter is out too..as baseball will be in full swing!

We usually have a 10-14 day period in late July that we have open for vacations that don't interfer with our sport schedule, and sometimes, it means he misses OPTIONAL football camp.

DS plays MS baseball from August-October,
JFL football from August-October( hard with baseball this year,)
MS basketball from October-February
Travel baseball from March-July.

He also maintains a 5.0 grade point average with a lot of hard work!





I can feel your frustrations with your daughter's playing time, and I don't know her skill level, but have you thought about sending her to camps, training sessions, ect. This can only help her ability! I do agree, they kids that are great at 12 may not be at 16....and the kids that are weak at 12 may be your starters in high school with hard work and dedication!
Another suggestions is try a non-competivie league

 

[missypie]

Some coaches are just not smart. I have a friend whose DD played on select basket ball teams. She is tall, and a real "cerebral" player...thinks everything out, in a good way. On the 8th grade school team, the coach only played the super physically agressive, loud, rah-rah girls. My friends's daughter didn't get to play because she was quiet. Dumb move, coach! What was sad is that the girl was always very into sports...that coach made her never want to play a team sport again.

As for winter break, that's basketball. Those are the folks who play Holiday Tournaments. You know the season when you sign up. If you sign up for volleyball, football or marching band, you know you're going to be in school two weeks early.

 

[MushyMushy]

DS plays MS baseball from August-October,
JFL football from August-October( hard with baseball this year,)
MS basketball from October-February
Travel baseball from March-July.

He also maintains a 5.0 grade point average with a lot of hard work!

What about your other kids? I see in your sig you have three.

 

[goofy!]

After reading some of these posts, I am glad our state high school athletics association has some common sense.

We are in the midst of girls HS swim season, so have some experience with this.

Due to CHSAA (Colorado High School Athletics Association) rules, there is to be absolutely no coach contact with the athletes during the week between December 24 and New Years day. No practices, no e-mailing workouts, no voice contact, no scrimmages, no meets or tournaments - nothing. The coaches cannot even reserve gym or pool time for the athletes (even if he or she does not attend). And this is across the board for all sports.

The athletes can practice on their own during that time to keep up endurance and skills, but for swimmers, that can be done anywhere at any local pool if you happen to go on vacation with your family.

I am glad that CHSAA respects the need for families to have some time together.

And it does not seem to affect the quality of the athlete's performance. The dedicated athletes will work out regardless of where they are. And at least in swimming, Colorado has produced several Olympic medalists and medalist hopefuls

 

[poohandwendy]

After reading some of these posts, I am glad our state high school athletics association has some common sense.

We are in the midst of girls HS swim season, so have some experience with this.

Due to CHSAA (Colorado High School Athletics Association) rules, there is to be absolutely no coach contact with the athletes during the week between December 24 and New Years day. No practices, no e-mailing workouts, no voice contact, no scrimmages, no meets or tournaments - nothing. The coaches cannot even reserve gym or pool time for the athletes (even if he or she does not attend). And this is across the board for all sports.

The athletes can practice on their own during that time to keep up endurance and skills, but for swimmers, that can be done anywhere at any local pool if you happen to go on vacation with your family.

I am glad that CHSAA respects the need for families to have some time together.

And it does not seem to affect the quality of the athlete's performance. The dedicated athletes will work out regardless of where they are. And at least in swimming, Colorado has produced several Olympic medalists and medalist hopefuls

We have similar rules here too. No school, no practice or games.

 

[cardaway]

That's the way select sports works. This could just easily be one of the parents of the better players complaining that the team is losing because the coach gives too much time to the weaker players.

If the child doesn't like the coaching style, leave the team. Most rec leagues still require everybody on the team play, so those are much better options for many kids.

 

[Becky2005]

Interesting!! I'm pretty sure it's illegal here for the staff to even be in the school coaching the school teams (park district is a different story) during the holiday break.

The *only* reason I think that is because I happened to be lingering one year after our Christmas party in the grade school (yes we still have those) and I all of a sudden heard on the loudspeaker "Teacher's just a reminder that it's illegal for you to be in the building after X time" which was about an hour (if that) after school closed. Basically they were telling the teachers in a nice way LEAVE NOW!!!!) I had NEVER heard that said before as I've stayed after chatting with teachers about this or that but since it's illegal for the grade school teachers, my hunch is it would be illegal for ALL teachers (and since 90% of coach's here are teachers, means they have to leave the building!)

I'll have to look it up as I thought I read a policy one time about this.

Our boy basketball season is basically done, I think they have one more tournament the first weekend of Jan. I know my DD was a cheerleader (she's in 7th grade) and they turned in their uniforms on Wed. (our last day of school). The girls basketball doesn't start until after break (I just looked it up on-line).

Basically it has been if the school has a break, then everyone is off, including athletes. Now, I know they do start earlier than school for football/volleyball but otherwise, I have not heard anything.

 

[Katie]

Mushy Mushy...I don't know how to copy and paste your question...lol

What about your other 2 children?

as for my other 2 children, one is 20..he played soccer from 4-18, loved it..
as for the other sports, he got "weeded" out in MS because probably of the OP's original post. IT was frustrating, but he was not the in upper tier of boys as far as talent, so he didn't see much of the court or field.
Soccer was his strong suit, so he stuck with that!
Grade wise...not so good, lots of potential, not alot of hard work!

My DD is 14, she still plays softball, she plays travel, and will play HS ball this spring. She cheered in Middle school, but chose not to in HS. She is the STAT girl for the HS Wrestling team, because I told her she needed some extra things for her college admissions applications. Her younger brother( the one in the earlier post), wrestled from age 4 to this year( Basketball coach, will not allow him to wrestle while in BB season), so, she had a lot of exposure to wrestling, so, it just made sense that she picked to be the Wrestling stat girl, plus the "Hot" wrestlers, was a plus!!!
She works for her A's and B's, but is a very "social" as school, if she studied as much as she "socialized" , her grades could be better!!!!

 

[noahynav]

As someone who played basketball throughout grade school.....I COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOU MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! Really ditto EVERYTHING you said.

 

[Anewman]

This makes me glad my kids do music & theater

At my kids School, BAND practices more hours than all the sports combined, they are a very good band(Rose parade calibur) with about 300 members. During Summer when my son had two-a-days football camp, Band was there b4 him and they stayed till well after dark. During school Band has a ZERO period(1 hour b4 rest of school) and then daily practice after school, and this is ALL YEAR LONG. Each year more band members get music scholarships than any of the sports.

But even then, does the band director give the weaker musicians solos? I imagine the better members get all the solos.

And in theater I assume everyone must audition(try out) and those with less talent dont get the leads. I can see the same persons getting leads time after time. The parents of the less talented kids probably dont think that is fair either.

Sports are competition, plain and simple.

In California CIF has a dead period in AUG where no SPORT can practice or conduct any kind of team activity, and each sport has a specific date where they can start practices. But I imagine that since weather here is different than other states, rules should also vary by state..

 

[Katie]

Sports are competition plain and simple

The best sentence in this thread!