Sports fans and weddings.......

[kdonnel]

I'm blaming the bride and groom AND their venue for being somehow clueless that the SEC Championship game was being played at the same time of their wedding in GEORGIA. If one or two guests were watching the game, that's one thing and I would agree that it would be rude to sit in the corner glued to their phones. But, the fact that EVERY table had the game on shows a systematic failure on the part of the wedding party and not the guests. All the guests were doing the same thing (as expected, if they had half a clue) and everyone would have been happier if the football fans were given a place to watch the game away from the non-football guests and wedding party. I guarantee you that the football guests would have filtered in and out participating more v/s being glued to their phone in the reception hall.

FWIW, the match-up wasn't decided until after people RSVP'd. Would you expect the football fans to say "no" in just case Georgia was in the Championship? Or, would you rather they stay home after the wedding couple paid for their plates?

Going to have to disagree on this one.

This was a wedding not an SEC watch party.

This is a systemic failure of the culture of college football, sportaholics in general.

If you can't focus your attention on the bride and groom for the length of the wedding, don't come, you are not welcome.

 

[Marrila]

Going to have to disagree on this one.

This was a wedding not an SEC watch party.

This is a systemic failure of the culture of college football, sportaholics in general.

If you can't focus your attention on the bride and groom for the length of the wedding, don't come, you are not welcome.

You'll have to convince your friends and neighbors that they need to occasionally set their SEC obsession aside. I don't think you'll be successful. It's been like this in the deep south a very long time.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

There's no game that is that important to me that I would do what was described in the OP. We've missed events by being busy, by being out of the country, etc. It's okay, I can live breath etc something but there's a line where you end up missing the forest through the trees (in this case missing that the world will not end if you are unable to see a game). Bride/groom planning or otherwise.

On this one I do have a feeling if there was that many people as the OP says then the "don't go" would effectively mean pretty low guest count. If there was as many people as the OP says providing an area for those people to be in would only mean the wedding and/or reception would have been sparsely attended as the others would have been in another room.

I've been to wedding receptions where someone may have checked a score on their phone, I've never been to one where people propped up phones to watch a game. Truthfully you'd probably get a few looks your way. And I say this as having my sister-in-law and father-in-law who have for years had college basketball and football tickets in which case very little can make them not go. They still would not be like what occurred in the OP.

 

[lynxstch]

Whether a fan or not, I consider that extremely rude. Weddings are expensive, they were invited as guests. I see no need to have watched a game during any portion of the wedding, nor was cheering or yelling at the game called for.

 

[kdonnel]

On this one I do have a feeling if there was that many people as the OP says then the "don't go" would effectively mean pretty low guest count.

It was obviously mostly male guests who would have been missing, there just happened to be at least one super fan at each guest table, who were gleefully training their children who were watching the phones with them that this is perfectly acceptable behaviour.

I think if just one or two super fans were removed from each of the 8 guests tables, that there was a chance those that remained would have just discretely checked the score throughout the game.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It was obviously mostly male guests who would have been missing, there just happened to be at least one super fan at each guest table, who were gleefully training their children who were watching the phones with them that this is perfectly acceptable behaviour.

I think if just one or two super fans were removed from each of the 8 guests tables, that there was a chance those that remained would have just discretely checked the score throughout the game.

If it's not joint couples or just people in general (meaning they aren't with someone) getting in together where everyone is a sports fan then to me it's not about a cultural things in the South or about sports. Superfans exist everywhere and some people even have themed events because all of those (or a vast majority) who would be attending are big sports fans, even the hosts themselves can be big sports fans lending to doing a theme. Stereotypes of this would fall into the "guy uninterested in this sort of stuff who can't possibly feign interest for a relatively short amount of time".

If it was people in general then I would expect there to not be a clear pattern of who it is which would then lead to some of the other comments about how the bride and groom should have known how important sports were to the people in that area. I suppose since you were there you'd know if only males would have been the ones to leave the table or not.

 

[kdonnel]

If it's not joint couples or just people in general (meaning they aren't with someone) getting in together where everyone is a sports fan then to me it's not about a cultural things in the South or about sports. Superfans exist everywhere and some people even have themed events because all of those (or a vast majority) who would be attending are big sports fans, even the hosts themselves can be big sports fans lending to doing a theme. Stereotypes of this would fall into the "guy uninterested in this sort of stuff who can't possibly feign interest for a relatively short amount of time".

If it was people in general then I would expect there to not be a clear pattern of who it is which would then lead to some of the other comments about how the bride and groom should have known how important sports were to the people in that area. I suppose since you were there you'd know if only males would have been the ones to leave the table or not.

I know it was only males who were bold enough to place their phones on the tables for the rest of the table to see at this wedding. It was primarily the father/son pairs that were high fiving as plays occured, but here also was some interactions between nearby tables and the phone owners.

I don't know if they had not been present if a woman would have stepped up to be just as rude.

I do know that one of the guests who would have been at my table opted to not attend, only his wife came. He opted to stay home and watch the game. He made a good decision.

 

[Magical2017]

I would not be bothered at all but only if they went outside. I don't think playing videos at indoor events is polite, no matter what they are watching. Even with headphones on, you know people are going to get loud and cheer or complain at certain points during the game. If they absolutely have to watch the game, they could find a different spot.

 

[robinb]

I do know that one of the guests who would have been at my table opted to not attend, only his wife came. He opted to stay home and watch the game. He made a good decision.

So, it was a good decision for him to stay home and stick the bride and groom with the bill for his meal? Frankly, I think that canceling at the last minute for a football game is way more insulting than watching the game at the reception.

Listen, you are fighting an uphill battle here. The football culture is huge and ingrained in the south and especially for fans of SEC schools. FWIW, it effects both men and women. I'm not from the south but I am a B1G football fan. I'd had Badger season tickets for over 2 decades and I've gone to nearly every home game. I think that the SEC fans are a bit ... much ... but I understand the existence of the culture and the rabid fandom. Would I watch a Badger B1G Championship game at a wedding? Maybe. I've watched football and baseball games (Chicago Cubs season tickets for over 30 years) on my phone at places before. I would probably just catch the score on ESPN and not watch it ... but I'm not an SEC fan steeped in the SEC football culture. By your post, obviously neither are you.

Consider it this way, the fans watching the game from from a different culture than you. They have different cultural norms than you have. In their UGA Football Culture, they didn't do anything wrong. I am sorry it bothered you and I can understand that it could be annoying if you're not into it. But, I still stand by my assertion that the wedding party/venue dropped the ball (hee hee) here. In my mind, the bride and groom have a responsibility to make their guests comfortable and they failed. The Dawgs fans gonna do what Dawgs fans do and watch the game.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

So, it was a good decision for him to stay home and stick the bride and groom with the bill for his meal? Frankly, I think that canceling at the last minute for a football game is way more insulting than watching the game at the reception.

What good is a guest anyhow if they are watching their phone completely engrossed in that instead of being actively present at. However, nor would I agree with someone declining just to watch a game regardless of what that game is (championship, bowl, etc). You can insert whatever sport you want the answer would still be the same. Sometimes the way we choose to show up to people (even ones tangentally related to us) reflect how we are as a person. It may be how someone is, people are, etc in an area it doesn't mean people have to think it's a good thing, "that's just the way they are" is not an excuse worth tolerating anymore.

At the end of the day only the impressions of what the bride and groom have of what unfolded truly matter. If they were nonplussed about it then that's that.

 

[kdonnel]

Sometimes the way we choose to show up to people (even ones tangentally related to us) reflect how we are as a person.

I would only change that statement to remove the Sometimes.

 

[sam_gordon]

Consider it this way, the fans watching the game from from a different culture than you. They have different cultural norms than you have. In their UGA Football Culture, they didn't do anything wrong. I am sorry it bothered you and I can understand that it could be annoying if you're not into it. But, I still stand by my assertion that the wedding party/venue dropped the ball (hee hee) here. In my mind, the bride and groom have a responsibility to make their guests comfortable and they failed. The Dawgs fans gonna do what Dawgs fans do and watch the game.

The problem is, they weren't IN the "UGA Football Culture". They were at a wedding. Knowing how to act when you're in different situations is a part of the human condition. Would you excuse them if they watched during the wedding ceremony itself? What about a graduation (HS, college, whatever)? During a religious service?

To say nothing about not just watching, but having the volume up, celebrating, and making noise unrelated to the reception, IMO, is bad manners. While it would have been NICE for the bride/groom/venue to provide a space, assuming there was even one available, that would have required added cleanup and who knows what else.

Is the SEC championship usually the 4p game? Is it sometimes the 1p or the 8p? Maybe that's what the bride and groom were thinking when they picked the time.

I think it's on the guest(s) to bow out if they knew they were more interested in the game. Yes, they had already RSVP'd, but a simple note earlier in the week and the bride & groom could have modified their meal count.

 

[PollyannaMom]

If the game is that important, DVR it and watch after the wedding.

 

[Marrila]

The problem is, they weren't IN the "UGA Football Culture". They were at a wedding. Knowing how to act when you're in different situations is a part of the human condition. Would you excuse them if they watched during the wedding ceremony itself? What about a graduation (HS, college, whatever)? During a religious service?

To say nothing about not just watching, but having the volume up, celebrating, and making noise unrelated to the reception, IMO, is bad manners. While it would have been NICE for the bride/groom/venue to provide a space, assuming there was even one available, that would have required added cleanup and who knows what else.

Is the SEC championship usually the 4p game? Is it sometimes the 1p or the 8p? Maybe that's what the bride and groom were thinking when they picked the time.

I think it's on the guest(s) to bow out if they knew they were more interested in the game. Yes, they had already RSVP'd, but a simple note earlier in the week and the bride & groom could have modified their meal count.

All nice thoughts. And I do feel for the bride and groom.
But, booking a Saturday event during college football season in GEORGIA has big risks.
We can tut-tut if we like, it's not going to change the completely obsessed following (with huge numbers of fans) the SEC enjoys.
For many of them it's a lifestyle, not a hobby.

 

[firefly_ris]

At every table at the reception, someone had propped up a phone so they could watch the SEC Championship game. A few even had the volume up so they could hear as well as watch.

As Georgia would score or Alabama would do something poorly people would loudly cheer, standup, and high five each other. This occurred during the first dance, while the cake was being cut, and even during the speeches.

Cringe and sad. Grown adults can't control their sport urges for a few hours?

 

[sam_gordon]

All nice thoughts. And I do feel for the bride and groom.
But, booking a Saturday event during college football season in GEORGIA has big risks.
We can tut-tut if we like, it's not going to change the completely obsessed following (with huge numbers of fans) the SEC enjoys.
For many of them it's a lifestyle, not a hobby.

And someone is that completely obsessed, THEY CAN SKIP THE WEDDING. You're excusing bad behavior.

 

[leebee]

And someone is that completely obsessed, THEY CAN SKIP THE WEDDING. You're excusing bad behavior.

Yup. Grow up. Also... for the 3 weddings we've hosted, final head counts aren't due until a week or 2 prior to the event. If you've accepted and decide a football game is more important, send your kindest regards and apologies for having to withdraw your acceptance. No excuses needed... unless you are crass enough to say "football is more important to me."

 

[Marrila]

And someone is that completely obsessed, THEY CAN SKIP THE WEDDING. You're excusing bad behavior.

Nope. Just giving some perspective about SEC football culture in Georgia.

 

[BrianL]

Yup. Grow up. Also... for the 3 weddings we've hosted, final head counts aren't due until a week or 2 prior to the event. If you've accepted and decide a football game is more important, send your kindest regards and apologies for having to withdraw your acceptance. No excuses needed... unless you are crass enough to say "football is more important to me."

These people act like they're playing in the game! It's just something to watch on TV. Sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do. I get that a wedding is not as fun as watching the game - heck, they're not as fun as, well, anything! But sometimes we have to do things that aren't fun. It's not the end of the world.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

It's possible that the bride & groom chose to have the guests attend & watch the game on their phones rather than have a significant number of guests stay home. If they knew their guests at all, they had to know this was a potential issue for the date they chose.