Spoke too soon (thank you)

[ilovedisneymm]

I was so excited a few weeks ago and needed to share. I shouldn't have said anything and waited until after the first trimester. I feel so ashamed.

Things were great last Thursday. We had a sonogram and heard the heartbeat and received an estimated due date. Then things turned for the worst shortly after that and we miscarried.

Sorry to bring sad news to such an upbeat forum.

 

[jbrostek]

That is sad news. Support and strength can come from many sources. I hope you and your DH can find the support and strength you need through this time.

 

[KristinU]

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[tiggerdad]

Melissa,
I am terribly sorry to hear the bad news, but why in the world are you ashamed? You have no reason to be. I work in emergency medicine, and I will guess that at least once a week or two weeks I get the unfortunate job of informing an expectant mother or father that they have had or are having a miscarriage. This is never an easy thing to do, but I will tell you what I tell them.

Your body is more in-tuned to things than you realize. It knows what the sonogram cannot see or hear. It knows what the blood tests could not predict. Somewhere, something was wrong, and your body knew it would be an endangerment to you to continue. I know this does not fill the emptiness that you feel, but you are not at fault.

You should feel no shame for sharing your joy with all of us, just as none of us should feel above sharing our sorrow for your loss.

You and your family have my deepest sympathies and regrets and hope that these few words (even from a crazy squirrel fanatic like me) will help in some way.

Michael

 

[bjschil]

Melissa, we are sorry and grieve your loss. Blessings to you as you place your dream on the shelf for a bit. Hopefully, can dust it off in the future.

 

[garneska]

Melissa, so sorry for your loss. I echo Tiggerdad sentiments, you do not need to feel ashamed.

 

[bama_ed]

Melissa,

I'm sorry too about this turn of events. The gift of life is precious and we will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

Ed

 

[North of Mouse]

I was so excited a few weeks ago and needed to share. I shouldn't have said anything and waited until after the first trimester. I feel so ashamed.

Things were great last Thursday. We had a sonogram and heard the heartbeat and received an estimated due date. Then things turned for the worst shortly after that and we miscarried.

Sorry to bring sad news to such an upbeat forum.

Sorry for y'all I had three miscarriages (one a life threatening ectopic on the ovary) so I can truthfully say I know exactly how you are feeling. But, as tiggerdad said, and my doctors assured us, the miscarriages are usually for reasons that we will never know.

It's an upsetting time, but definitely nothing to be sorry for - we don't control such things. Take care!

 

[ruthies12]

So so sorry!! You should definitely not feel ashamed and not in the least bit hesitant to share good or bad news. I've had four miscarriages myself and know so many women who have gone through it as well, we should all talk about these things openly as it is nothing to be ashamed of nor kept a secret. I think Tiggerdad said it perfectly and I wish you the best of luck in healing and moving on.

If you want to "talk" about it more I'm here and I'll "listen", feel free to pm me. If you know anyone IRL who has experienced a loss like this, try to open up if you can, it helps. Not much, but it helps a little.

 

[FortWildernessCamper]

So sorry for your loss. My youngest daughter miscarried several years ago. My oldest daughter and I were so at a loss at how to comfort her as neither of us had ever experienced that. She has since given me my eleventh grandchild, Lorelei, who will be two on October 7th.

 

[snowmedic]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[iheartpeterpan]

I am so sorry for you. You should not feel ashamed. I lost my first pregnancy so I understand the feeling of loss. I'll keep you in my prayers!

 

[Goofy14sure]

I am so sorry. Good thoughts and prayers your way

 

[PaHunter]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[cjbcam]

Please don't. I never really got the whole don't tell people until the three month period. You have good news you want to share. When things go wrong most people also need support to help you through it. Please know so many women have gone through what you are and there is support and help if you need it. Don't feel ashamed.

 

[Jimsig]

I'm am so sorry. Remember that you are not alone, a lot of people have been through what you have. There are plenty of support groups out there if need be that are always willing to help. We lost our first daughter when my wife was about 20 weeks along. Hannah had Trisomy 18 and not a day goes by that I don't think about her, now 7 years later. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, you do what ever you need to do at this time. It can be frustrating thinking you are alone in this but remember there are always people thinking about you. They may not know what to say or what to do but that does not mean they don't care.

 

[SouthAlabama5er]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss,

 

[Teamubr]

Melissa,

Thank you for sharing your excitement and your disappointment. Hopefully you're not ashamed for "telling too soon" or losing the baby. This place is wierdly a family and we all appreciate sharing the joy and the heartbreak, no matter what the reason. I can't tell you I know how it is and I doubt that would make you feel any better anyway. Sharing can help, but time is a great healer.

j

 

[WorldWacky]

I'd just like to echo what everyone else has said here. I am truly sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[TheRustyScupper]

VERY sorry to hear this news.
Peace be with you.