Splitting rental car costs with mom on vaca

[goodstarr]

I need everyone's advice. Me, DH, DD (7) and DM (65) will be driving from NJ to Atlanta around the holidays. DM does not drive so DH and I will do it all. My question is, how should we split the cost of the car rental and gas? Dear old mom always tries to pay the least amount possible and argues non-stop until I just give in. If I took a poll and told her what most people thought, I may have a better chance at getting a fair split. I always thought that since she wasn't doing any of the driving, that her costs should be slightly more than anyone else's. So, should the cost be split 2 ways (her/my family as a whole ). 3 ways (her/me/DH) or 4 ways (her/me/DH/DD)? Thanks.

 

[Aprille]

I'd say split it 2 ways.

When DH and I went to Ireland with friends of ours (family of 4) we split the rental car 2 ways and our friend did ALL of the driving. (Hey, he's from Ireland and knows how to drive on the wrong side of the road. )

 

[goodstarr]

.

 

[TammyNC]

I'd split it 2 ways. That seems fair to me. When we have the car services from the airport, etc. my Mom splits the cost 1/2 with us.

 

[MICKEY88]

Mom would ride free with me, when Mom tries to pay for anything I do for her, I tell her to give me an itemized bill for everything she's done for me since the day I was born, I will then check of each item when I think I've paid her back with interest, since she continues to do things for me, her bill will never be paid in full ,, so I will never collect from her...


if you're making the trip anyway, why charge her anything, if you are staying in a hotel/motel let her pay for her room, because that's an additional charge..I don't see where having her as a passenger increases your cost for a rental, therefore how can you charge your own Mother....

she gave you the greatest gift of all...she gave you life

 

[ByTheSea]

If you are going on this trip regardless of if you Mom was going with you, I would say, don't charge her. On the complete opposite, if the primary reason for this trip is to take you Mom to Atlanta and you all are going together to keep company, then I would expect her to pay a good portion.

Too many other questions though, is she on a fixed income? Not knowing some specifics that are none of my business anyway makes this almost impossible to anser. If it were me, I think in general I would not ask my Mom to pay and would probably pick up her hotel and meals along the way now.... but maybe 15-20 years ago when my income was much less and both my parents were still working, it would have been reversed, Mom would have paid the majority of her expenses and probably some of mine as well. There was a time when going out to eat with my parents meant I would cover the tip, it's 100% reversed now that my Mom's on a fixed/limited retirement income and we are better off financial than she.

 

[DD2Disney]

I agree it is very hard to asnwer this question. If you need a car regardless it seems that maybe she shouldn't have to pay anything. But to play it 'fair' on vacation costs. I think she should have to pay 1/3. This is very common in my family since my DMIL does a lot of our weekend trips and what not with us. She gets her own room and pays 1/3 of other expenses.

That being said if I already had plans and she was just tagging along, not really making her OWN plans then I would not charge her. Hope that I didn't confuse what I was trying to say.

 

[FOJMO]

Originally posted by goodstarr
Dear old mom always tries to pay the least amount possible and argues non-stop until I just give in.

Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree -- you sound as cheap as "dear old mom".

I wouldn't charge her anything. Like another DISer said, you're renting the car anyway and doing the driving. She doesn't drive and she's just taking up a passenger seat.

Give her a break...

 

[disykat]

If you are looking for "fair" I agree with the people who say split the cost 3 ways between the adults.

 

[gina2000]

ByTheSea said it all.

 

[zurgswife]

I'd also never charge my mom for a trip I was going to take anyway....unless she had way more money then I did and offered to pay.....I'm also like that with my friends...if I'm going to go anyway...why should I charge you to go too....

Makes me think of the group of people that go out to eat and everybody only pays exactly what they ate...rather then splitting between the people at the table....I'd much rather split then go through the hassle of splitting a bill

 

[clh2]

Why didn't you work out the finances when you set the trip up? That way there would be no misunderstandings about the money. It seems like a little late to be expecting her to pay anything at this point.

 

[disykat]

!!??? I just have to address zurgswife comment about splitting the bill equally at the table whever dining in groups.

I have NEVER been out with a group that did that - ever. I don't think people are cheap for wanting to pay for what they ate and not their companions. If everyone's meal cost approx. the same it wouldn't be a big deal. But knowing me I'd come with $10 in my purse to cover a seven dollar meal, a glass of water and a tip -then find out I was expected to pay for half of everyone else's beverages and desserts. Because I don't drink anything except water, I don't think I've ever been out with a group where my dinner wasn't the cheapest one there. I buy drink stuff for my friends when they come to my home, but it never occured to me I should be paying half of theirs whenever we go out!

 

[Nick@ VB+OKW]

Originally posted by zurgswife
Makes me think of the group of people that go out to eat and everybody only pays exactly what they ate...rather then splitting between the people at the table....I'd much rather split then go through the hassle of splitting a bill

I agree if there are no drinkers(alcohol) in the group.But if someone orders 2-3 mixed drinks or beers, then I wouldn't agree with the above post. Those mix drinks alone cost more than the dinner.

I wouldn't charge my mother anything at any time.

 

[IloveDMB]

I don't mean to hijack this thread but I'd like to share a story of what happened to me over the summer when people didn't want to split the bill evenly:

We had 6 ladies visiting the shore from some unknown state (not New Jersey). Well they ordered drinks (sodas) and when the waitress brought them back, the ladies said they'd like separate bills. 6 different ways! We have a gratuity policy of 18% for a party of 6. Now being the manager that night, I had to go over to the table and explain that we don't do separate bills. Well, they point blank, said they didn't to pay the gratuity.

I said sorry, but that is our policy. Well at the end of the meal, they came up to me and asked to pay differently for their meals. I had to run 4 different credit cards, and figure out how much each of them owed differently. I think that is absolutely ridiculous. I almost wanted to ask them not to come back, but i couldn't do that.

Well, they all got about the same thing. I don't understand how they couldn't just split it and stop being cheap. I was so frustrated!

Sorry if this was long, I just wanted to show you cheapness affects everyone. And trust me, the waitress WILL remember you. Just a thought!

 

[Mskanga]

We had 6 ladies visiting the shore from some unknown state (not New Jersey). Well they ordered drinks (sodas) and when the waitress brought them back, the ladies said they'd like separate bills. 6 different ways! We have a gratuity policy of 18% for a party of 6. Now being the manager that night, I had to go over to the table and explain that we don't do separate bills. Well, they point blank, said they didn't to pay the gratuity.

And can you blame them? 18% gratuity for six sodas just because they sit together on the same table? That's ridiculous. And as far as separating the food bills, it's not that hard to do, how do you do it for people who come in to eat alone?

 

[IloveDMB]

Originally posted by Mskanga
And can you blame them? 18% gratuity for six sodas just because they sit together on the same table? That's ridiculous. And as far as separating the food bills, it's not that hard to do, how do you do it for people who come in to eat alone?

Maybe you misunderstood me, but they ordered meals as well. The bill was close to 100 dollars. So 18% on 100 seems pretty reasonable to me.

And what sort of separating does one have to do for a person who eats alone? Divide the bill by 1?

 

[DocRafiki]

I can't judge because I don't know the OP's financial status. Anyway, if you can afford it without it hurting you, cover her expenses. If not, or if she's sitting on a gold mine, I too think that 1/3 is fair.

I never got that about the added gratuity for big parties. I mean, don't you make more money per person if tables are filled to the max? If each person sat at a separate table, that would be more work for everyone for the same amt of money (or less, since other patrons might have to wait longer for tables). And how can they get away with tacking on a charge that isn't disclosed to you from the beginning? At my work, if I change my plan to a drug that costs 50 cents more than the estimate I give out, people throw a fit.

 

[Tinkbell]

I NEVER charge my mom for things on vacations! Anyways, why should she pay MORE because she doesn't drive? In that case, your DD should be paying a hefty sum too.

 

[zurgswife]

Since I was the one who originally changed the subject I'll explain my thinking...

I've waited tables for years and years.....and besides it being a BIG hassle for the waitress if they ask...I've seen many tables have 30min discussions regarding how to split the bill....
So, personally I just divide the billl.....Just happened to me recently my book club went out we split it evening....and I didn't bat an eyelash that my portion was way less ( I didn't do any drinks)....I figure there are many times that other friends have totally paid my way and it isn't worth getting my panties in a bunch over...

I never got that about the added gratuity for big parties.

Because being stiffed on a check for 2 people that's $45 dollars and being stiffed on a check that is for more then 6 that totals $300 is a big deal for a waitress. And your not stiffed or giving 10% for service reasons it's just that people are cheap. So, restuarants have done it as a means to protect there employees. I worked at a place that would have people come in on Sundays afternoons for a early dinner have 10 people in the party run you like crazy, stay for hours, and have a $400 check and leave $10 because they either didn't know better or were cheap..

OK ....sorry to take the thread off topic