Splitting costs with family

[Anchored]

I would not want to go on a trip with my sister and her husband (or boyfriend) and it would have nothing to do with money. I wouldn't want to spend my weekend feeling like a 3rd wheel. I also don't like my sister's husband.
I hope they respond with an answer that works for all of you

 

[MusicalAstronaut]

I would not want to go on a trip with my sister and her husband (or boyfriend) and it would have nothing to do with money. I wouldn't want to spend my weekend feeling like a 3rd wheel. I also don't like my sister's husband.
I hope they respond with an answer that works for all of you

It's even more complicated that that lol because my sister's boyfriend told my dad who told my mom who decided "the whole family" would go so now my parents & brother are going too. It went from a solo trip to a big hullabaloo. Le sigh. So if my sister & her bf don't split the room with me, I'm forking out a lot of cash for my own room. That wouldn't be a problem on a solo trip but now it went from a birthday present to myself (pool time, flower & garden festival, space mountain as many times in a row as I want) to my mom saying "I can't wait to celebrate Mother's Day in Disney" and stuff like that (also we don't have a great relationship so...). So now I'm salty about having to pay a lot but not getting the trip I planned, if that makes sense.

 

[verleniahall]

It's even more complicated that that lol because my sister's boyfriend told my dad who told my mom who decided "the whole family" would go so now my parents & brother are going too. It went from a solo trip to a big hullabaloo. Le sigh. So if my sister & her bf don't split the room with me, I'm forking out a lot of cash for my own room. That wouldn't be a problem on a solo trip but now it went from a birthday present to myself (pool time, flower & garden festival, space mountain as many times in a row as I want) to my mom saying "I can't wait to celebrate Mother's Day in Disney" and stuff like that (also we don't have a great relationship so...). So now I'm salty about having to pay a lot but not getting the trip I planned, if that makes sense.

Personally, I would still do the trip YOU WANT and then agree to meet up for A meal for Mother’s Day - you do you and don’t let the interference from others ruin your trip

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

It's even more complicated that that lol because my sister's boyfriend told my dad who told my mom who decided "the whole family" would go so now my parents & brother are going too. It went from a solo trip to a big hullabaloo. Le sigh. So if my sister & her bf don't split the room with me, I'm forking out a lot of cash for my own room. That wouldn't be a problem on a solo trip but now it went from a birthday present to myself (pool time, flower & garden festival, space mountain as many times in a row as I want) to my mom saying "I can't wait to celebrate Mother's Day in Disney" and stuff like that (also we don't have a great relationship so...). So now I'm salty about having to pay a lot but not getting the trip I planned, if that makes sense.

So don't go with them.
Go solo like you initially planned and pay for yourself.
Not sure why you even invited your sister if you wanted a solo trip to begin with.
You really have no one to blame but yourself at this point.

 

[YawningDodo]

Oof, I remember reading about this in another thread. That’s really rough. I’d suggest booking an AoA suite for the whole gang and demanding everyone who’s invited themselves pay an equal share of it to offload some of the cost onto the interlopers, but it sounds like that might be a bit miserable. Are there other ways you could make this a cheaper, perhaps shorter trip for yourself? Then you could do a proper solo trip later.

And no, you should not blame yourself. You extended one invitation and several family members made unfounded assumptions about who was welcome. You know in future how your family will behave around these kinds of things, but it was not unreasonable at all to assume people wouldn’t invite themselves on your vacation en masse.

 

[AgentMama]

It's even more complicated that that lol because my sister's boyfriend told my dad who told my mom who decided "the whole family" would go so now my parents & brother are going too. It went from a solo trip to a big hullabaloo. Le sigh. So if my sister & her bf don't split the room with me, I'm forking out a lot of cash for my own room. That wouldn't be a problem on a solo trip but now it went from a birthday present to myself (pool time, flower & garden festival, space mountain as many times in a row as I want) to my mom saying "I can't wait to celebrate Mother's Day in Disney" and stuff like that (also we don't have a great relationship so...). So now I'm salty about having to pay a lot but not getting the trip I planned, if that makes sense.

I don't think your family deciding they're coming along should change what you had planned to do since it was originally your trip. Set boundaries now and let everyone know what your itinerary is. They can either decide to participate on your terms, or they can decide that maybe your trip doesn't work for them. But no way would I allow my trip to become exponentially more expensive if it wasn't what I chose to do.

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

To be fair, I never even invited the boyfriend, I invited my sister. Apparently they come as a package deal.

As others have said, DEFINITELY say something before any plans are put in motion about this being a sister trip.
You will come back from the trip saying WTH did I do otherwise.

 

[Miffy]

OP--Why are you in charge of anyone but yourself? You aren't. And what happens if you make all the arrangements and one or more of these other people cancels on you?

There's a simple solution to this. Stay where you yourself want to stay and can afford to stay. That's your room. Anyone else who wants to go to WDW at the same time, that's great. They can make their own arrangements. I'm pretty sure most adults are capable of it.

If you end up meeting up with some of these people at some point, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. Maybe finer.

 

[MusicalAstronaut]

OP--Why are you in charge of anyone but yourself? You aren't. And what happens if you make all the arrangements and one or more of these other people cancels on you?

There's a simple solution to this. Stay where you yourself want to stay and can afford to stay. That's your room. Anyone else who wants to go to WDW at the same time, that's great. They can make their own arrangements. I'm pretty sure most adults are capable of it.

If you end up meeting up with some of these people at some point, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. Maybe finer.

That's what I'm doing - nothing has changed from my original plans. I booked the room based on what I could afford & where I wanted to stay. My sister and her BF can come if they pay their fair share, and if not, then whatever. I have FPs booked (and a ticket to DAH) and I told everyone if they show up I'll see them when I see them.

 

[Miffy]

That's what I'm doing - nothing has changed from my original plans. I booked the room based on what I could afford & where I wanted to stay. My sister and her BF can come if they pay their fair share, and if not, then whatever. I have FPs booked (and a ticket to DAH) and I told everyone if they show up I'll see them when I see them.

MusicalAstronaut: That's all good to hear. I myself would not want to be in a room with another couple, but if you can deal with it, then that's okay. If I were part of the other couple, I wouldn't want to be in a room with another person, either! So I'd book my own room.

Enjoy your trip. Keep to what you want. Avoid your mother! It's so much fun to do WDW solo.

 

[paisleys]

That's what I'm doing - nothing has changed from my original plans. I booked the room based on what I could afford & where I wanted to stay. My sister and her BF can come if they pay their fair share, and if not, then whatever. I have FPs booked (and a ticket to DAH) and I told everyone if they show up I'll see them when I see them.

You poor thing! This is why we don't tell a soul anymore when we are going to WDW! I hope everything works out the way you want it and that you have a great time.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

You poor thing! This is why we don't tell a soul anymore when we are going to WDW! I hope everything works out the way you want it and that you have a great time.

Admittedly it was a time period where we had been traveling with the in-laws for several years but not every trip was with them----

A few years ago we decided after my husband got back from his field assignment that he had basically been away from home (coming back home every two weeks) for 13 1/2 months to go to Hawaii as kinda a way to celebrate and relax.

At dinner one night eating with the in-laws they had asked me what we would be doing when my husband got home (my husband wasn't there at the dinner) for good and I replied that we were planning a trip to Hawaii. My mother-in-law immediately started talking about how fun it will be and how she'll have to look at flights and what to do....and I sat there kinda stunned. Nothing I said had denoted it was a trip we would all be taking. She had indeed asked me what my husband and I would be doing when he got home. Also admittedly she's the type of person that does kinda invite herself along for things at times.

I did as gently as I could let her down by saying "oh this is a trip we are going to take on our own actually". I softened the blow by saying we could look into doing something else with them for a later date (which we did). No way was that trip going to be a family trip. It was going to be a relaxing spousal trip .

 

[paisleys]

This is a zombie thread but just shows how much of a pain extended family can be sometimes! I know not all but for some of us..
guessing time

Admittedly it was a time period where we had been traveling with the in-laws for several years but not every trip was with them----

A few years ago we decided after my husband got back from his field assignment that he had basically been away from home (coming back home every two weeks) for 13 1/2 months to go to Hawaii as kinda a way to celebrate and relax.

At dinner one night eating with the in-laws they had asked me what we would be doing when my husband got home (my husband wasn't there at the dinner) for good and I replied that we were planning a trip to Hawaii. My mother-in-law immediately started talking about how fun it will be and how she'll have to look at flights and what to do....and I sat there kinda stunned. Nothing I said had denoted it was a trip we would all be taking. She had indeed asked me what my husband and I would be doing when he got home. Also admittedly she's the type of person that does kinda invite herself along for things at times.

I did as gently as I could let her down by saying "oh this is a trip we are going to take on our own actually". I softened the blow by saying we could look into doing something else with them for a later date (which we did). No way was that trip going to be a family trip. It was going to be a relaxing spousal trip .

OMG! The nerve. I like how you took care of it right away instead of beating around the bush or dragging it on!

 

[Miffy]

How is this a zombie thread? The OP's original post is from this past Wednesday. Although perhaps the world is moving so fast now that last Wednesday is considered "zombie."