Split Checks?

[gina2000]

You know what the real difference is?

When I go out to eat I always try to pick up the check. My BIL and I have almost drawn blood fighting for it. I figure if I'm going to eat with you, it's because I want to spend time with you and I don't mind paying, it's not an issue. Sometimes I'll pay, sometimes you'll pay, sometimes we'll split it evenly, sometimes there will be separate checks, because yes, around here you are asked that at every restaurant whether the little breakfast joint or Ruths Chris.

The major thing is, I'm just saying what I do.

I'm not saying this is what I do and me and everyone I know could not imagine the strange, weird, cheap way you do it.

It's not the way everyone on this thread has answered the poll, it's the tone the 16% has used in implying their way is the only "classy" way to do it. If it's done any other way, well, you all are just not as civilized as us. Some folks are implying it's horrifying to do it a way other than theirs.

But a lot of us are just confused. I know you don't see my comments that way, but for me, I have never seen it, don't know how to handle it, and am not insulted by it. I'm just confused. As I explained up thread, I was out in Pittsburgh this past weekend and learned for the first time that an establishment will take multiple credit cards for one tab. My friend literally had to explain it to me. My husband and I discussed how much money to bring prior to dinner because we knew we'd be splitting the tab and we couldn't use a credit card. It never, ever occurred to us that a restaurant would take more than one credit card for one tab. It was an eye opening moment.

But realistically, and I don't mean this in an insulting manner, I am not sure if a waiter would split a tab. It's just not done around here. I've also never seen someone ask for it to be done. It's not a matter of right or wrong or class. It's just not done. Edited to add: Actually, I'm going to ask as I dine out from here on in. Maybe it is done and I"m just not aware of it.

And finally, I like the way we do things. It's not right or wrong. I just like it. And honestly, I've never been caught in a situation where I've felt ripped off. And I've never ripped anyone else off. Others, though, have had that situation and feel that their solution alleviates it. If I had been in their situation, I might feel that same way. I do know that I would NOT be going out with a party who deliberately tries to stiff me. I'm sorry for people who are caught with family members who do this. I would not dine with them because I only dine with people who respect me. But I can see how family can screw you in situations where you have no control.

 

[Bob NC]

And just to clarify, the major eye rolling would be on the part of the waitstaff, not my companions. They'd probably be just as confused as I have been throughout this thread.

I think if the waiter rolled his eyes at me, I'd be looking for a new waiter rather than new friends.

 

[fiestamomma]

Been following this board and think its interesting I'm from South Texas and would like throw in my two cents (separate check

pretty much every restaurant we've gone to whether it be the local taco house or Ruth Chris or any other establishment the waiter when he sees a large group will usually ask "are we doing separate checks or all together?"

Some establishments have it printed on the menus if separating checks is allowed or even if there is an extra fee or gratuity added for doing so.

Amongst my family it's understood that if we go out it's almost always separate checks. We take turns paying for my parents

Just yesterday we got together at a restaurant to share a last meal with my niece before college
In all, including children, there were 21 in our group. Our waiters were awesome we all had separate checks, my brother picked up my parents check and a couple of us opened a tab with the bar on our own cards. The last time we dined with my sister and BIL they paid our bar tab so I told the waiter to add theirs to mine.

We were charged and automatic 18% gratuity. Most of us paid over that. And my sister, it was her daughter, gave him an extra $40 on top of that for the great service with such and large group.

When dining with friends it can go either way. Sometime we separate checks or we pay for the whole table. Can't recall a time when we split it amongst everyone

Dining out is a causal, enjoyable event. Regardless of where we eat! Thankfully have never had the experience of anyone being upset by the checks

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[mhsjax]

Lol - I also have never been at a restaurant, and asked if we want separate checks. And if someone asked, I would expect a really awkward moment of silence! Another thing I learned here is that multiple people can put credit cards towards one check. Who whooda thought?!

Ok. so for those of us that are accustomed to getting separate checks, how do you pay all on one check if you don't do multiple credit cards/debit cards? When we go out is is VERY rare that someone pays with cash. And if they did, the waiter need to know who gets back what change. Very confusing to me.

 

[mhsjax]

I think if the waiter rolled his eyes at me, I'd be looking for a new waiter rather than new friends.

Exactly, the day the waiter rolls his eyes at me, is the day he receives $0.00 tip. And we are VERY generous tippers.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ok. so for those of us that are accustomed to getting separate checks, how do you pay all on one check if you don't do multiple credit cards/debit cards? When we go out is is VERY rare that someone pays with cash. And if they did, the waiter need to know who gets back what change. Very confusing to me.

Everyone knows to hit up the ATM before arriving at the restaurant. As for the waiter, his job is to give the table one check. The diners are then responsible for handing him cash, or one credit card.

Most of the time, we all just split it evenly. Otherwise, everyone could put in the amount they feel they owe.

 

[Gigi22]

I voted "other" which in my case means, it depends on the circumstances and those involved.

If I call up my DNiece to ask her and her BF for out for dinner, then DH and I pay. DNiece is just starting out in her career, she is saving her money to buy a house. Further, if we ask someone out to dinner, we specify in the invitation that the meal is 'our treat'.

If we are going out with a bunch of colleagues/friends from work, we split the bills--DH and I are (so far) the only couple in our group of friends, so it wouldn't be fair for others to have to effectively subsidize our evening out.

If I am going out with my BFF--I usually arrange to split the bill because my BFF tends to avoid paying for anything, ever, under any circumstances. She's cheap, has been for the 40+ years we've known each other. Splitting the bill is the only way she ever pays for anything.

DH's BFF is the same, dead cheap. (Maybe something about us, we both have cheap best friends). We have to split bills with him too, or we have to constantly pick up his meals, drinks, entertainment. And, surprise, he is quite wealthy.

 

[mhsjax]

Everyone knows to hit up the ATM before arriving at the restaurant. As for the waiter, his job is to give the table one check. The diners are then responsible for handing him cash, or one credit card.

Most of the time, we all just split it evenly. Otherwise, everyone could put in the amount they feel they owe.

Again, difference it doing things. We don't use cash and most of our friends don't. I have done this before, sometimes, very often change is due and the waiter had to make change and keep everyone's total and amt paid in mind, this is why we do separate checks. Easier for us and the waiter and no one has to make change. I have also done the one credit card and everyone pays me cash, then I still would owe them change, it didn't work for us personally. I like my way, so I will continue to ask for separate checks.

ETA our waiter's here know that their job is to serve us and make it an enjoyable experience, they do this and are rewarded with a very good tip. Otherwise I would be finding another place to go for dinner. Again, this is the norm. If I went somewhere where it wasn't, or it was posted, then I wouldn't expect the waiter to do so, but that isn't the case here. So it is expected and has never been a problem, they are more than happy to do so. I also don't think that when we go out to dinner, kids included that it is really fair for 2 of our friends to pay evenly for our 3 kids when they have only 1 each. Those kids also eat very little while my kids will order some of the most expensive items on the menu. Also we may order 2 bottles of wine and they don't drink or drink only one glass, WE without fail end up being the most expensive family at the table. There is no way I would ever split the bill evenly, that would be unbelievable unfair That makes me cheap and a moocher, I choose not to live that way. Everyone's lives are different, everyone's situations are different.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

Now I have a question for those with separate checks: If you order a bottle of wine, do you share it? Or does each person order a glass? Or are there multiple bottles on the table? That's one area that confuses me.

Well I can answer for my group that people don't ever really order wine when we go out. Someone might order a cocktail or a beer and obviously they'd pay for it on their separate check. Occasionally someone might order a glass of wine, but we just aren't drink bottles of wine for dinner people, so maybe someone who is can answer that better. I'd assume you'd get the cost of the bottle split evenly amongst who drank it and get it put on your check. Definitely not a problem anywhere here. Waiters naturally ask about appetizers or dessert if they will be on one person's check or split between them if we are sharing.

 

[mhsjax]

Well I can answer for my group that people don't ever really order wine when we go out. Someone might order a cocktail or a beer and obviously they'd pay for it on their separate check. Occasionally someone might order a glass of wine, but we just aren't drink bottles of wine for dinner people, so maybe someone who is can answer that better. I'd assume you'd get the cost of the bottle split evenly amongst who drank it and get it put on your check. Definitely not a problem anywhere here. Waiters naturally ask about appetizers or dessert if they will be on one person's check or split between them if we are sharing.

I can answer that one. If we order it goes on our check. Usually there are so many people that 1 bottle isn't enough for everyone to have even one glass, so someone else will order and pay for the next. We have never split the cost of a bottle of wine, unless it was just another couple and it was a VERY expensive bottle.

 

[gwynne]

I can answer that one. If we order it goes on our check. Usually there are so many people that 1 bottle isn't enough for everyone to have even one glass, so someone else will order and pay for the next. We have never split the cost of a bottle of wine, unless it was just another couple and it was a VERY expensive bottle.

Exactly how we handle it. Easy.

 

[Bob NC]

Usually there are so many people that 1 bottle isn't enough for everyone to have even one glass, so someone else will order and pay for the next.

Well, if you need alcohol to have fun at dinner.......





(THAT WAS A JOKE. MOST THREADS THAT MENTION ALCOHOL END UP HERE SO I THOUGHT I'D GET IT OUT OF THE WAY.)

Honest, I was just kidding.

 

[mhsjax]

Well, if you need alcohol to have fun at dinner.......





(THAT WAS A JOKE. MOST THREADS THAT MENTION ALCOHOL END UP HERE SO I THOUGHT I'D GET IT OUT OF THE WAY.)

Honest, I was just kidding.

LOL, I need alcohol to get over the drama here on the Dis. And I agree with you, I am sure it has a very good chance of going that way. Seriously though we don't always have it, but when it comes to our Italian hangout, Red just seems to be in order.

 

[EMom]

The day a server rolls his eyes at me is the day he earns $0.00 tip.

 

[mickeysgal]

The day a server rolls his eyes at me is the day he earns $0.00 tip.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Everyone knows to hit up the ATM before arriving at the restaurant. As for the waiter, his job is to give the table one check. The diners are then responsible for handing him cash, or one credit card.

My ATM doesn't dispense 1's, 5's, or 10's So, I guess if everyone's cut is $23 they should all just toss in $40 and call it good, right?

 

[LBIJim]

Side note: for those who've never experienced separate checks, were you to enter an establishment where that was offered, and someone in your party said "sure", what then? Would you object, or go with the flow?

Go with the flow. I have no problems with separate checks. In my experience, it's just not offered around here. I suppose some establishments will honor the request for separate checks if asked, but they don't offer up front.

When I go out to eat I always try to pick up the check. My BIL and I have almost drawn blood fighting for it.

I thought that type of situation went away with my father's generation. (I'm 53). It was a variation of the "I've got a bigger ***** than you" game.

When I was in high school and college and my father and uncles used to play this game, my cousins and I would roll our eyes and say something like, "one of you pay and the other give US the extra cash."

Jim

 

[Bob NC]

I thought that type of situation went away with my father's generation. (I'm 53). It was a variation of the "I've got a bigger ***** than you" game.

When I was in high school and college and my father and uncles used to play this game, my cousins and I would roll our eyes and say something like, "one of you pay and the other give US the extra cash."

Jim

Deleting post, can't really respond well to that type of judging.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

As I explained up thread, I was out in Pittsburgh this past weekend and learned for the first time that an establishment will take multiple credit cards for one tab. My friend literally had to explain it to me. My husband and I discussed how much money to bring prior to dinner because we knew we'd be splitting the tab and we couldn't use a credit card. It never, ever occurred to us that a restaurant would take more than one credit card for one tab. It was an eye opening moment.

Situations like that are exactly why so many places offer separate checks up front. It's WAY less hassle to split it up front than it is to separate it after the fact. The modern computers they use in most places have made it easier, but still not as easy as just separating the checks.

Very small sample set, but the handful of waiters/waitresses I know say they typically get better tips with separate checks. With large groups & single checks, they tend to pull in 15% where the separate checks will float from 15-25% each. Again, it's only a handful of people I know, but it wouldn't shock me. I've tossed in extra on a single check and had the person who was adding things up say, "Okay, we've got our 15%, we're all good". Not every time, but quite a few times. So, any waitress who'd roll her eyes at such a situation isn't really thinking ahead IMO. Probably why some establishments put an automatic grituity on large groups.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I thought that type of situation went away with my father's generation. (I'm 53). It was a variation of the "I've got a bigger ***** than you" game.

From the sounds of some of the folks here, I think that game is alive & well