Spinoff, does money equal happiness?

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Everyone on the DIS:


[*]went to/had offers to a boarding school
[*]is incredibly wealthy
[*]has gifted children who are also on the spectrum
[*]has a hidden disability
[*]is in great shape
[*]has no debt
[*]fully funded IRA

and most importantly are 99% full of crap

Yet you've posted over 80 times, so you must be lumping yourself in to that group.

 

[joviroxx]

Everyone on the DIS:

• went to/had offers to a boarding school
• is incredibly wealthy
• has gifted children who are also on the spectrum
• has a hidden disability
• is in great shape
• has no debt
• fully funded IRA

and most importantly are 99% full of crap

LOL!

Listen, my momma didn't raise a fool. Money matters, whether you want to admit it or not. Annual trips to Disney cost $$$. Money can give you a higher quality of life and it can sure make you more comfortable and relieve stress. It can open doors for you to experience things that might otherwise not be possible. Learning about the pyramids in a book is different than actually visiting them and seeing them in person.

But that said, I am a believer that happiness is a state of mind and a choice we make. Being happy doesn't mean a life without problems. It really has nothing to do with what you have. Happiness is a verb and something we choose to be. Its all in how you look at things.

But, admittedly, a new pair of shoes can make me smile!

 

[clarkshel]

Yet you've posted over 80 times, so you must be lumping yourself in to that group.

You shouldn't feed the troll.

 

[Planogirl]

Yet you've posted over 80 times, so you must be lumping yourself in to that group.

Maybe a troll but a funny one and humor helps around here sometimes. Some (not saying you) take themselves awfully seriously.

 

[clarkshel]

Maybe a troll but a funny one and humor helps around here sometimes. Some (not saying you) take themselves awfully seriously.

Mmm, I don't see any humor in the trolls post. :confused.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Money does not buy happiness, but it is so nice to not worry or stress about bills.

 

[Robbi]

Money itself does not equal happiness. Not having to worry about how to support a family because there is money does equal happiness and less stress.

 

[indimom]

But no, money absolutely does not buy happiness. In fact, we see over and over again that the chase for money makes many people absolutely miserable. It's like getting addicted to heroin: you need more and more and more to be satisfied, and it's never enough.

I don't know a lot of people like that, but the few I've met were the most miserable people ever.

Struggling with money is very stressful. A little financial cushion can relieve that stress. I've never been wealthy. But, I've been through times when money was more plentiful than today, and through times when it was less plentiful. Is it worth it to occasionally put in the long hours and back breaking effort? You be your life it is! Would it be worth it to have essentially no life outside of work? Not a chance. Balance is key.

All things in moderation as my dad would say.

Wealth doesn't buy happiness, but I believe that a certain level of financial security is necessary to maintain it. My idea of that level really isn't especially high, but includes a home in relatively good repair, a reliable and relatively safe vehicle to drive and fuel to drive it; heat in winter, a/c in summer, health insurance, decent shoes that don't hurt to wear, and not going hungry.

Agreed. But, I have to add that it makes me happy to be able to tell my kids "yes, we can do that/buy that today." Saying no isn't fun. I also get a lot of joy from doing/buying things for other people (charities or just because), and when money is in shorts supply, I don't get to enjoy that part of life as much.

Money affords opportunities.


Happiness comes from within.

And THIS is the best answer yet!

 

[NHdisneylover]

okay--follow-up question!

I see a lot of mentions about how stressful it is to live month to month and worry about bills and that having more money would make that go away.

At what point do you think that is likely to go away?

I ask because in my own life, I have known many families (not all) who lived paycheck to paycheck, but as raises and promotions came, with-in a few months they had upgraded their standard of living (maybe buying a bigger house, or one in a nicer neighborhood, buying a car, signing the kids up for more expensive activities, enrolling the kids in private school, etc)., and are right back to living paycheck to paycheck.

It seems to me, that often, once you pass a certain, not all that high threshold, most people are either good at living within their means, end up pushing it to the edge, or overspend, regardless of what those means are.

 

[mimmi]

okay--follow-up question!

I see a lot of mentions about how stressful it is to live month to month and worry about bills and that having more money would make that go away.

At what point do you think that is likely to go away?

I ask because in my own life, I have known many families (not all) who lived paycheck to paycheck, but as raises and promotions came, with-in a few months they had upgraded their standard of living (maybe buying a bigger house, or one in a nicer neighborhood, buying a car, signing the kids up for more expensive activities, enrolling the kids in private school, etc)., and are right back to living paycheck to paycheck.

It seems to me, that often, once you pass a certain, not all that high threshold, most people are either good at living within their means, end up pushing it to the edge, or overspend, regardless of what those means are.

You're right, getting more often means spending more but there is a minimum amount you need for being able to lead at least a basically comfortable life, e.g. to afford basic housing, simple meals, cheap clothing and some kind of mobility.
Everything extra can be cut back if need be, but if you fall below poverty level and can't cut back anything it's really hard and worrisome.

 

[lovemygoofy]

okay--follow-up question!

I see a lot of mentions about how stressful it is to live month to month and worry about bills and that having more money would make that go away.

At what point do you think that is likely to go away?

I ask because in my own life, I have known many families (not all) who lived paycheck to paycheck, but as raises and promotions came, with-in a few months they had upgraded their standard of living (maybe buying a bigger house, or one in a nicer neighborhood, buying a car, signing the kids up for more expensive activities, enrolling the kids in private school, etc)., and are right back to living paycheck to paycheck.

It seems to me, that often, once you pass a certain, not all that high threshold, most people are either good at living within their means, end up pushing it to the edge, or overspend, regardless of what those means are.

Hi Hadley!!

You have your thinking cap on today!

So I can say that life was "simpler" when we didn't earn alot of money. We had enough for the very basics and that didn't include cable or furniture or more than one car. The memories of playing scrabble on our bed or renting VCR tapes at the library while listening to Delilah are priceless. We would take "big outings" that involved just walking around downtown and sharing a cup of ice cream because that was all we could afford. Back then we didn't work 50+ hours a week and have a phone that rings constantly.

Fast forward and now we have more money, more responsibilities and lot less time to enjoy any of it. I've also found that with more money is more responsiblity. We are now supporting both our moms which is its own stress. I also think that people pressure themselves to have more and the best and want to keep up with the Joneses and give even more than they had as a child. People don't have patience to build up their house with goals and save for it. An example is the old problem of a bigger house well that means more furniture. Gotta go fill it all up then and there, right?

Heck this is a vacation board where people will eat the cheapest of anything to go on a mickey mouse vacation. You would go on a luxury car board and those people are eating the cheapest of anything and not going on vacation to drive that luxury car.

 

[eliza61]

okay--follow-up question!

I see a lot of mentions about how stressful it is to live month to month and worry about bills and that having more money would make that go away.

At what point do you think that is likely to go away?

I ask because in my own life, I have known many families (not all) who lived paycheck to paycheck, but as raises and promotions came, with-in a few months they had upgraded their standard of living (maybe buying a bigger house, or one in a nicer neighborhood, buying a car, signing the kids up for more expensive activities, enrolling the kids in private school, etc)., and are right back to living paycheck to paycheck.

It seems to me, that often, once you pass a certain, not all that high threshold, most people are either good at living within their means, end up pushing it to the edge, or overspend, regardless of what those means are.

I think that is more of their emotional state than financial state. For my dh and I once we got to the point where our money made money our stress went away. primarily because we were at the point where if we lost our jobs our standard of living would not change, IMO that was a huge weight off our shoulders.

Now that being said I dont think money makes you happy or unhappy. I think it's a tool like every thing else. I've got more money than I will every spend in my life but I'm a recent widow, so I would not describe myself as happy and don't see myself as being hapy for a long time, but I can't dismiss the fact that having that cash does provide me and my kids some advantage.

I think our spending habits are developed and no matter how much you have they will be the same habits. I think I'm squarely in the "middle of the road". some things have value for me, some do not. I will never spend 100 bucks on a pair of sneakers but have no problem dropping a wad of cash on a Louie Vutton bag or Hermes scarf. go figure but I also don't sweat it if I can't get either.

 

[mickeyboat]

Some of my happiest times as a married couple are when we didn't have squat. A big night out was sharing food court orange chicken and people- watching at the mall. We didn't even own a couch, and watched tv on the floor of our apartment while lying on a unfolded flip chair from my college dorm room.

Yes, being able to pay our bills and have a little left over takes eliminates one source of stress, but the happiness I feel in my life is not related to how much money we have. It isn't based on how many toys we have or how many vacations we take. It comes from how we feel about one another and how we feel about ourselves.

So what I am striving to instill in my daughters is a strong sense of strength, self-worth and self-confidence. So that no matter what type of situation they might find themselves in, they know they will be o.k.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Hi Tina! It is so nice to see you posting more often again. I love seeing you around here.

I think that is more of their emotional state than financial state. For my dh and I once we got to the point where our money made money our stress went away. primarily because we were at the point where if we lost our jobs our standard of living would not change, IMO that was a huge weight off our shoulders.

Now that being said I dont think money makes you happy or unhappy. I think it's a tool like every thing else. I've got more money than I will every spend in my life but I'm a recent widow, so I would not describe myself as happy and don't see myself as being hapy for a long time, but I can't dismiss the fact that having that cash does provide me and my kids some advantage.

I think our spending habits are developed and no matter how much you have they will be the same habits. I think I'm squarely in the "middle of the road". some things have value for me, some do not. I will never spend 100 bucks on a pair of sneakers but have no problem dropping a wad of cash on a Louie Vutton bag or Hermes scarf. go figure but I also don't sweat it if I can't get either.

That is what I am trying to get at--if you have a base level of financial security (can eat, have safe housing, heat, medical care--but maybe not new clothes or vacations or nice cars)--beyond that amount, does more add to happiness or not?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Some of my happiest times as a married couple are when we didn't have squat. A big night out was sharing food court orange chicken and people- watching at the mall. We didn't even own a couch, and watched tv on the floor of our apartment while lying on a unfolded flip chair from my college dorm room.

Yes, being able to pay our bills and have a little left over takes eliminates one source of stress, but the happiness I feel in my life is not related to how much money we have. It isn't based on how many toys we have or how many vacations we take. It comes from how we feel about one another and how we feel about ourselves.

So what I am striving to instill in my daughters is a strong sense of strength, self-worth and self-confidence. So that no matter what type of situation they might find themselves in, they know they will be o.k.

I love this I would argue that you are on the right path and that working to help our children not tie their self worth to external things like good grades or jobs or possessions is really important.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

okay--follow-up question!

I see a lot of mentions about how stressful it is to live month to month and worry about bills and that having more money would make that go away.

At what point do you think that is likely to go away?

I ask because in my own life, I have known many families (not all) who lived paycheck to paycheck, but as raises and promotions came, with-in a few months they had upgraded their standard of living (maybe buying a bigger house, or one in a nicer neighborhood, buying a car, signing the kids up for more expensive activities, enrolling the kids in private school, etc)., and are right back to living paycheck to paycheck.

It seems to me, that often, once you pass a certain, not all that high threshold, most people are either good at living within their means, end up pushing it to the edge, or overspend, regardless of what those means are.

A good balance for me is being able to afford the things we want IF we're willing to wait a bit and save up for them. I used to be able to take hunting trips out West. I couldn't go every year, and I couldn't afford a guide. But, I could GO. Same for some nicer things my wife wanted. She might have to wait, or skip some other things, but eventually she'd be able to get it.

I think it's good to say "no" once in a while, and even to just plain not be able to afford everything. Makes us appreciate what we have more. That said, we've cut out more than we care to and though we do pay our bills, we don't have much in the way of available savings to dip into if we need it, nor are we saving for retirement at a level that makes me comfortable.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Hi Tina! It is so nice to see you posting more often again. I love seeing you around here.



That is what I am trying to get at--if you have a base level of financial security (can eat, have safe housing, heat, medical care--but maybe not new clothes or vacations or nice cars)--beyond that amount, does more add to happiness or not?

I think it's absoutely on the person and where that person came from or wants to go. You can be happy and poor but continue the progress down the road.

I can be honest that even when we were poor we wanted more. We loved the outing for ice cream but NEEDED the safety net of money in the bank. It is not fun to scrape pennies together for your husband's haircut everyweek or to repair the car. I grew up very very poor, to a point most will never know. My safety net is having a pantry full of food because I grew up with barely anything in the kitchen. I don't think it's always about happiness as it is about security.

 

[bettymae1121]

While I think money can buy happiness, having money doesn't guarantee happiness. I think it's very hard to be truely happy if your dirt poor, and easily possible to be miserable and filthy rich.

 

[KimR]

Hi Tina! It is so nice to see you posting more often again. I love seeing you around here.



That is what I am trying to get at--if you have a base level of financial security (can eat, have safe housing, heat, medical care--but maybe not new clothes or vacations or nice cars)--beyond that amount, does more add to happiness or not?

I think it depends on the person. Some people enjoy a more simple life and have no desire for designer clothes, a big house, and nice vacations. Give them a roof over their head, money for food and they are happy. My mom was like this and so is my dad (much to my frustration as a child!). On the other hand, I would never be happy living with just the basics. I like having a nice home, eating out, taking expensive vacations, just spending money in general. If DH lost his job and we had to scale back, I can tell you I'd be very unhappy.

 

[joviroxx]

That is what I am trying to get at--if you have a base level of financial security (can eat, have safe housing, heat, medical care--but maybe not new clothes or vacations or nice cars)--beyond that amount, does more add to happiness or not?

It really doesn't make a difference. And besides, everyone's view on what is "enough" is different. True internal happiness doesn't come from how much or how little you have. It comes from within. Appreciation, gratitude and perspective are three of the biggest components. It truly is a choice.

You can be poor and be happy or miserable. You can be rich and be happy or miserable. There is nothing wrong with wanting and enjoying the fine things in life. No one can really judge another for wanting and going out to earn more. There is nothing wrong with not wanting it. But neither will make you a happy person unless you choose to be.

Struggling doesn't have to equal miserable
Rich doesn't have to equal happy