Spinoff, does money equal happiness?

[Adipoo]

I grew up dirt poor but remember being happy. I now have no money worries and am happy. Quite honestly, the latter is better.

 

[Wendy31]

Hmm...

After re-reading Hadley's original post (about assuming one has enough money for the basics), I realized I needed to add -

Right after we were married, DH quit his nicely-paying job because he was miserable. He was being asked to lie to clients, & he just hated it. He was making money, but he was terribly unhappy.

However, him quitting his job caused me extreme worry. Here we were - newlyweds - and, suddenly, only one of us had a job. Then again, I wanted him to be happy. I hated that he was miserable & being asked to compromise his character.

Looking back, I am glad he quit, but it was a stressful time. He, of course, found another job &, then about 5 years later, found an even better job.

And, as an aside, we had our 2 older children in a private school. We are now homeschooling & are much happier.

 

[Caradana]

Actually, I read the whole original Boarding School thread this morning, the spin off Boarding School thread this afternoon and just started reading this thread. Sam81's post made me laugh out loud!!!! I thought it was pretty funny.

So did I

 

[davedmaine]

On the boarding school thread, it has been brought up that some parents would want to steer their children towards very lucrative careers. Not just ones that are likely to result in employment (so, we are not talking about just having a back up plan in case your band never takes off, we are talking being a social worker or a public school teacher or fire fighter any other mediocre paid job is a no go if Mom has nay say in the matter), but ones that are likely to result in very high paying employment.

So it got me thinking--I know there is the old saying "Money doesn't buy happiness" but how has that worked in your own life?

Have you been truly happier at times when you are the most well off financially?

Have you been unable to be happy when struggling financially (but let's assume still able to pay rent and eat and have medical care)?

Do the majority of people you know whom you would describe as generally happy have lots of money? Not much money? Is there ANY correlation from happiness to money (beyond having basic needs met) that you see in your life and that of friends?

What's the expression? You can never be too skinny or have too much money. If you don't believe that, you've never been really fat or really poor.

 

[castleview]

No money doesn't equal happiness. But worrying about money causes a lot of unnecessary stress.

 

[canadianjovigirl]

I don't know as I've never been ubber rich, but I'm sure willing to try

 

[ilovemk76]

I am answering before reading the thread.

I saw a report on this once. Money busys you happiness when you are hungry, cold, living in a crummy place but once all your needs are satisfied then more money does not add to your happiness.

We are very happy and pretty financially secure. They are two different things and one does not need the other to occur.

 

[ilovemk76]

Everyone on the DIS:

• went to/had offers to a boarding school
• is incredibly wealthy
• has gifted children who are also on the spectrum
• has a hidden disability
• is in great shape
• has no debt
• fully funded IRA

and most importantly are 99% full of crap

Here you are on the dis posting. So are you full of crap.

 

[Stinkerbe11]

I have lived both extremes as well. There was a point in my life where I had to choose between two men. Both were loving, caring, treated me very well and wanted to marry me. One was a multi-millionaire and the other was a First Lieutenant. I married the one in the military, we are extremely happy and I have never once in our 12 years of marriage looked back or had any regrets

 

[#1hoosierfan]

I think it is all about balance. I was married before to a guy that make a great salary. I am a public school teacher so salary is not so "great." We built a nice house, ate out all the time, and went on several trips a year. I was freaking miserable, however. I make the decision to make a go of it on my own even though I knew things would be MUCH tighter financially.

I met current dh shortly after my divorce, and we married a year later. He doesn't make as much money, our house is not as elaborate, and we don't vacation as much. Our needs are met and we have money for lots of the extras..... just not "as much" as I had before.

I am 100% happier now. I admit to being a bit materialistic. I COULD quit my job and stay home or work part time, but I was miss cable, eating out, being able to buy a Coach purse from time to time, pedicures, Disney,etc......All of the things we would have to give up for me to stay home. I would not be happy. I know lots of parents that choose that route... I think that is great. It is just not for me.

On the other hand, I could make a lot more money by finding a job outside of teaching, but I would miss my time off with the boys too much. The money would not make up for not seeing them as much. More money in that case, would definitely = less happy.

 

[Buckalew11]

I've never been real poor but in the past 25 years, we've had tough, tight of struggle. I was happy enough but worried a lot.

Now, we're kinda average, I suppose, a FF/paramedic and a hairdresser, lol. And as long as the needs are met and we aren't robbing peter to pay paul, it is happy with less worry.

I believe happiness is fleeting and depends on many different things going on in our lives. Happiness comes and goes throughout a day even.

But true joy...that's totally different. Much, much different.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

No, it does not, but it is nice to have if all else is equal. In full disclosure, I have never lacked for money nor had to worry about the issues attendant to living at or near the poverty line, and so I cannot imagine how stressful that must be. I do agree, however, with those on this thread who said that, for the most part, once basic needs are cared for, a person's innate personality will take over and a happy person will be happy and a miserable person will be miserable.

I do think that affluenza, or the sudden influx of wealth, can cause unhappiness if people are not prepared for it, but aside from that, I don't think money dramatically impacts a person's personality.

 

[clarkshel]

I don't think money buys happiness, but it sure helps. I am happy right now with what my wife and I make. However; I would love to have more disposable income. I will be more content once we pay off our mortgage. I am hoping in less than 8 years it will be paid off. With all of this being said, if I was a multi millionaire or billionaire, then I probably would be happier.

 

[Planogirl]

I have been stressed beyond belief due to medical bills and repair bills and so on. I can guess that the rich never have to worry about those things.

Also, I love to travel. I can't do as much as I would like due to the cost. I think that being able to travel when I want to would certainly make me happier.

Money is a great means to an end and as long as a person keeps the right attitude it can certainly contribute to happiness. All of those who don't want their money can certainly send it to me and I'll test this.

 

[WMorganS]

Spinoff, does poverty equal sadness?

 

[AverageDiser]

Looking back to when I was "middle class", yes I was happier than I am now living hand to mouth. It wasn't about the money, it was about the stress reduction that having enough income provided. It was about being able to say "yes" when my daughter wanted McDonald's for lunch instead of explaining that we've already done our restaurant meal for the month, and not having to pick a place we could both eat at for less than $10 when we do have that monthly outing. At that point in life I was satisfied, not always wishing we had more income, having come from a background closer to the hand to mouth life I'm living now.

It's not that I'm necessarily unhappy now, but I am constantly stressed about money, and obviously I would be happier without that stress.

For the pp, no, I don't think poverty buys sadness either, just stress, as I mentioned above.

Edited to add- I also think background is relevant to some extent, sometimes there's a difference in attitude between people who have never had to struggle and people who have. IE..someone who came from nothing might be more likely to appreciate having a middle class income than someone who's never lived any other way.

 

[minkydog]

I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better.

 

[minkydog]

Spinoff, does poverty equal sadness?

Not necessarily. We have been living mostly on DHs SSDI and disability insurance since 2007. We haven't been unhappy but it certainly has affected the choices we make. Just recently I took a job where I'm paid what I'm worth. It is already making a difference in the bills, and we're able to plan a good vacation this summer.

 

[Jennasis]

Money doesn't buy happiness but it sure puts a nice down payment on a smile.

 

[Acklander]

I've been dirt poor - I've been well off, but I've always been happy. I'm naturally a happy person. If I won the lotto tomorrow, I'd make fun plans, I wouldn't worry about money, I'd buy a red convertible, I'd buy a bottle of expensive champagne to see what it tastes like and I'd be happy.
If the stock market crashed tomorrow and I lost my nest egg and savings, I'd readjust my retirement plans, I'd cut back on all the extras, I'd pick up an extra job, I'd plant a vegetable garden, I'd cut coupons and I'd be happy.

So, for me, money doesn't equal happiness.