Spending money...

I was not worrying over $20 dollars... i just wanted to know if a mother with a child and ex would do something like that...

what is so wrong about the original question I asked?

Your making a big deal about something very minor!!!

If their mom sends money... great!!! If not, no big deal... be that "step-mom" you supposedly try to be... and front the $20 for the girls to take some small gifts back for their family. Because you are trying to make this easy on the girls... making a blended family work. Right?
 
Nancyg56 said:
Are you saying your husband pays $75 a week to support two children? Please tell me that I have misunderstood this.

Yup thats whats she agreed to...I know bizzare.. I don't think it nearly enough...


Posted from Disney Forums Reader for Android
 
ccgirl said:
Quote:

Originally Posted by STAYC18

believe me i know from divorce...my father married 2 other times my first step mother 2 twin boys from my dad, absolutly love her and still keep in contact to this day, she always invited to any family gatherings, she had kids from a previous marriage and we even closer to them (hangout, go to concerts together, everything you name it we do it with them) ...her and my mother get a long great always have...my mom would even take us to her house as kids,
my dad remarried again, this step mother not so great, its his family now...have 2 sister from that marriage..didn't talk to my father for years, now on speaking terms but nothing major. it's still his family, me and my sister are fine now that were older it doesn't bother us, we make to effort to meet up with them and that works...

the first step mother is the one i'm tring to be.. i have always included the girls mother to join us in things (like pack the kids up and go to the zoo, do things so they feel like a family) my getting along with her two other kids its exactly like me and my step moms previous child... i think that would be so awesome...i invited the mother to my son's first birthday party, Nope she wouldn't go and then wanted the girls home at 5 when the party ended at 4 and it take an hour to get them to her...how fair is that for husbands children to have to be ripped away from their brothers birthday... so its not me that resents these kids it their mother for resenting the fact that my husband has moved on... and she can't control the things you used to get away with anymore...

tell me this to all the ones who have x's...

Do you think a court order on visition and child support issues is something that should be done for the childrens sake...

I don't understand why no woman with children wouldn't have court appointed documents that specifically document everything on paper

SHE DOESN'T

my husband deposits said amount (no signed documents on this either) to her bank account every week and all his proof is a receipt back...

So
A. she is hiding something... (mandatory paternity test when filling for child support)..

B. she's scared she will have to document the amount of child support she gets--- which will stop her from getting food stamps ($936 a month) (kids told us), masshealth (free insurance) oh and this where the "What if the kids need glasses and braces" comes in, the state pays or it, and WIC she has two kids under 5, Yes, she's a stay at home mom that collect state benefits...

C. or she dosen"t what a court to tell her she is entitled to more of my husbands money than she is getting by a he/said she/said amount... cuz i'm sure $75 a week is not enough for 2 kids

I told him numerous times that this should all be done thru court but he won't listen... so all i can really do is sit back and let them handle the way they do...

Guess what ...it's up to him. It's his money; right? He can go to court too but maybe he doesn't want to because he knows he will have to pay more than $75 a week for two children. The state of MA has a nifty little calculator right online that you can use to find out how much he should be paying.

My sister married a man with a son from a previous relationship. They do not have custody or child support order. So far, it has always worked. Whey would my sister want to get involved in that.

If you are trying to be like your first stepmom you might want to try harder. From the sounds of your post you are not doing a great job of it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancyg56

Are you saying your husband pays $75 a week to support two children? Please tell me that I have misunderstood this.

I was thinking the same thing. $300 a month for two kids wouldn't even cover my children's extracurricular activites. Nevermind food and clothing.
Don't forget she gets food stamps so that covers there food....



Posted from Disney Forums Reader for Android
 
A. she is hiding something... (mandatory paternity test when filling for child support)..


Why would you even think something like that?

Your DH has it easy with $75/week. My dad paid 5x's that amount for me and my brother, and this was 20 years ago.
 

Your making a big deal about something very minor!!!

If their mom sends money... great!!! If not, no big deal... be that "step-mom" you supposedly try to be... and front the $20 for the girls to take some small gifts back for their family. Because you are trying to make this easy on the girls... making a blended family work. Right?

And if the girls don't ask to take something home for mom and siblings... your off the hook !
 
Imagine this situation - I set a reasonable spending amount for each of the kids (equal or based on age, doesn't matter). Then the other mom sends her kids with an extra $100 each and tells them to get whatever they want. Suddenly I've got a minefield on my hands. One kid with a reasonable amount of spending money and her siblings with more than double.

This is an excellent point that will get totally ignored by the OP most likely, but I thought it was reasonable. I don't particularly want my son's dad sending money on our trips. I'm the parent. I have it covered. Unless I say, "Here's $10, please pick me up X" I have no business interfering in his plans and budgeting. (And in fact, I would hesitate to do that, because time with Dad is not time to be spent running errands for me.)
 
How does that make it "not him by any means"? Unless he's actually tried to go to court to set-up child support, it absolutely is on him (as well as his ex-wife).

ok we can blame him and they were never married... i don't get involved any more
 
This is an excellent point that will get totally ignored by the OP most likely, but I thought it was reasonable. I don't particularly want my son's dad sending money on our trips. I'm the parent. I have it covered. Unless I say, "Here's $10, please pick me up X" I have no business interfering in his plans and budgeting. (And in fact, I would hesitate to do that, because time with Dad is not time to be spent running errands for me.)

i'm not ignoring you and thank you we will take care of all expenses.. i was just asking...
 
I was not worrying over $20 dollars... i just wanted to know if a mother with a child and ex would do something like that...

what is so wrong about the original question I asked?

And with the rest of the information... No. A mother who is forced to live on FOOD STAMPS because her ex thinks $75 a week is an appropriate contribution to raising HIS KIDS should absolutely not be expected to send spending money when the just-short-of-deadbeat "dad" and his new wife go on expensive vacations with the children she's struggling to support.

I cannot believe you tried to make her the bad guy because your husband doesn't support his kids. Seriously?

And with that, I'm going to go bake some brownies for my son's step-mother. This thread has given me a whole new appreciation for her and I think she's due for a thank you.
 
And if the girls don't ask to take something home for mom and siblings... your off the hook !

Nope will pick out a magnet and small toy or rice kripsy treat for the kids, so that way they can bring something home to mom, thats what i feel is the right thing i have to do and should do..
 
And with the rest of the information... No. A mother who is forced to live on FOOD STAMPS because her ex thinks $75 a week is an appropriate contribution to raising HIS KIDS should absolutely not be expected to send spending money when the just-short-of-deadbeat "dad" and his new wife go on expensive vacations with the children she's struggling to support.

I cannot believe you tried to make her the bad guy because your husband doesn't support his kids. Seriously?

And with that, I'm going to go bake some brownies for my son's step-mother. This thread has given me a whole new appreciation for her and I think she's due for a thank you.

ok his X agreed that was what she wanted from him a week. maybe she should of went on the nifty CS cacultor and see what she's missing out on... unless its brought to court nothing he can do but keep depositing... but getting more to her may not let her qualify for other things...
 
And with the rest of the information... No. A mother who is forced to live on FOOD STAMPS because her ex thinks $75 a week is an appropriate contribution to raising HIS KIDS should absolutely not be expected to send spending money when the just-short-of-deadbeat "dad" and his new wife go on expensive vacations with the children she's struggling to support.

I cannot believe you tried to make her the bad guy because your husband doesn't support his kids. Seriously?

And with that, I'm going to go bake some brownies for my son's step-mother. This thread has given me a whole new appreciation for her and I think she's due for a thank you.

oh and if she's struggling to support her kids to maybe she should find some income to help her...
 
ok his X agreed that was what she wanted from him a week. maybe she should of went on the nifty CS cacultor and see what she's missing out on... unless its brought to court nothing he can do but keep depositing... but getting more to her may not let her qualify for other things...

What the heck are you talking about? He doesn't need a court order to deposit more money. All he has to do is...umm...deposit more money! It isn't rocket science.
 
Why would you even think something like that?

Your DH has it easy with $75/week. My dad paid 5x's that amount for me and my brother, and this was 20 years ago.

cuz when you are cheating and you pack up all your kids and stuff and leave a note and then boom "oh i"m pregnant" and it yours... there's a little what if...right?

thats the amount she wants from him...
 
What the heck are you talking about? He doesn't need a court order to deposit more money. All he has to do is...umm...deposit more money! It isn't rocket science.

well it doesn't seem to bother her and when the kids need something extra he gives it...
 
Don't forget she gets food stamps so that covers there food....



Posted from Disney Forums Reader for Android

Your husband thinks it's OK for the governament to feed his kids when he is taking 4000.00 vacations? Shouldn't he give her more to help at least cover half of their living expenses?
 
It wasn't what you asked, but how you asked it that upset so many people. You came off as hateful and resentful of your stepdaughters. When you didn't get the answers you wanted you tried to play the "I just asked an innocent question" card, but it was too late - everyone had already seen through you.

and what #post was that...
 
Your husband thinks it's OK for the governament to feed his kids when he is taking 4000.00 vacations? Shouldn't he give her more to help at least cover half of their living expenses?

she doesn't know that he knows...r u kidding me.. she wants the assistance
 
I am funding all of this trip.(Which has nothing to with anything on here). My husband will make sure his girls have the money they need to spend..we will be in charge of them..if they ask me for something you bet my answer will be "go ask your father"...i still have to pay my part in the bills at home... No one understands Disney is what I love, he's never been and has no clue what to expect...he can't understand why you pay so much to go to Disney...like i said before he rather stay home and do **** around town...BORING... I told him last night, if you don't like it you don't have to go again, but believe me I will be going back with my son (and i would probably bring my step kids too, but THEIR mother would never allow it, at least until way into their teens). Sorry I paid a mortage in Disney for 5 years and i'm not giving it up...so if i have to fund the whole thing, thats what i'm gonna do..

So you have a job too?
Maybe transfer some of that Disney love to your step children.
Let him stay home. It will save you money.
You're paying for SSR alone? Your husband is not an owner?

.....

tell me this to all the ones who have x's...

Do you think a court order on visition and child support issues is something that should be done for the childrens sake...

I don't understand why no woman with children wouldn't have court appointed documents that specifically document everything on paper

SHE DOESN'T

my husband deposits said amount (no signed documents on this either) to her bank account every week and all his proof is a receipt back...

So
A. she is hiding something... (mandatory paternity test when filling for child support)..

B. she's scared she will have to document the amount of child support she gets--- which will stop her from getting food stamps ($936 a month) (kids told us), masshealth (free insurance) oh and this where the "What if the kids need glasses and braces" comes in, the state pays or it, and WIC she has two kids under 5, Yes, she's a stay at home mom that collect state benefits...

C. or she dosen"t what a court to tell her she is entitled to more of my husbands money than she is getting by a he/said she/said amount... cuz i'm sure $75 a week is not enough for 2 kids

I told him numerous times that this should all be done thru court but he won't listen... so all i can really do is sit back and let them handle the way they do...

So because your husband deposits money into an account and because she doesn't have a legal agreement she's hiding something? My friend and her son's father have an agreement on visitation, child support, health insurance, etc with no legal agreement. She is not hiding anything. A BIG difference though is that he is actually paying her enough money to support her son.
I wish that I knew the exe's address because I'd tell her to run to an attorney and have the kid's support bumped up. My ex husband paid $300/month in 1976 for our son.


ok we can blame him and they were never married... i don't get involved any more

:rotfl2:That, I find hard to believe.

Your husband thinks it's OK for the governament to feed his kids when he is taking 4000.00 vacations? Shouldn't he give her more to help at least cover half of their living expenses?

He sounds like a real winner, doesn't he?
 


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