ZZBane
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2019
- Messages
- 270
I was not told that she was behind and none of her paperwork indicated anything. We had about five minutes with one of the orphanage nannies to ask any questions (with the aid of a translator) but I quickly figured out that this was not one of the nannies who regularly cared for her so the meeting was not helpful.
It took me a while to realize that I didn't need to keep explaining myself or my daughter or our unusual family or anything else. Sometimes, you do need to clarify something but most people are just being nosy and don't need an explanation.
For example, I may explain that my daughter is using signs but is not deaf so that people will talk directly to her but won't go into detail explaining her speech delays.
I have a biological son and an adopted daughter of a different race. Yes, I have gotten questions over the years. If someone is truly interested in what it takes to adopt because that might be their journey, I will take the time to have a conversation but when people are just being nosy, I deflect and don't answer.
My daughter started out needing all the things (OT,PT ST...) and they came to the house until she turned 3. Then I had to fight a little bit to get her services in the county where I worked and her daycare was rather than where we lived but once she got in, she got amazing services. At that time, she was at a special education center.
By the time I moved her back to our home county she received services in school and although she didn't have her own aid, there was an aid in the classroom. She used to get pulled from the classroom for Speech Therapy and reading intervention. Now, she is in middle school and one of her classes is reading intervention.
My schools have been amazing. They are always ready to throw services at her. They are super supportive.
I have a friend one county away who had such a bad experience with her school system that she actually sold her house and moved to my county for her special needs child.
My key pieces of advice are: Get help early and be prepared to be an advocate for your child.
That’s incredibly sad. But good for you for recognizing that she needed help in the first place.
I don’t even say he’s not deaf... I usually say “oh, he can’t talk yet” but almost in an apologetic way. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing my son because I don’t understand any of this myself. When we lived up north, no body cared. Everyone kept to themselves. But down here, everyone wants to know everything. Most days I don’t mind, but sometimes it’s exhausting.
I hope the schools around here are good. We live in Beverly Hills Florida. We don’t even have a Starbucks. There’s not a lot here at all and it’s very small. I haven’t heard anything bad about the schools, but we don’t really have options like we did up north. I do have a bit of time, but it doesn’t hurt to have a head start.
How awful about the school system your friend was in. Good for her for getting out of there! It’s sad that she had to make that decision to begin with.
Thank you! Your advice and your story is beyond appreciated