Speaking of diamond engagment rings.....

[Disney Doll]

My engagement ring didn't make me any more of less engaged/committed to my DH...it was just an outward sign of the engagement. We are both "traditional" sort of people and having an engagement ring was right for us. It's not a hugely gaudy flashy ring...a marquis cut solitaire set in white gold. He purchased it and picked it out. I did not have anything to do with it, because I had no idea I was getting enagged until he asked. It is significant ot me because it is from him, not because it is a diamond.

My wedding band is also white gold with five diamond chips in it and sort of "nests" around the engagement ring. DH wears a plain gold band as he is not a flashy jewelry kind of guy.

As far as the woman wearing a symbol of being engaged but the man doesn't...who cares? The ring doesn't make you any more or less engaged, or married, for that matter.

As to those of you who are insinuating that people who like having a diamond engagement ring and/or wedding band are shallow...I'll assume it's not your intention to insinuate "moral superiority" over those of us with diamond rings, so I'll ignore how condescending your statements sound and wish you a Merry Christmas instead.

I think I'll go clean my rings now so they sparkle.

 

[bumbershoot]

I did not want to ruin the other thread but if I ever get married again, I do not want an engagement ring at all. I would just want a simple, unadorned band. I want it to be all about the relationship and the marriage. Does anyone feel the same?

So, does anyone have opinions on the excess of engagement/wedding rings?

I didn't want hubby to buy me a ring, but not for those reasons...just that I had my grandmother's engagement ring (she was still alive at the time, but deep into Alzheimers and in a nursing home and so jewelry was given away at that time) and wanted to use that. Alas, hubby was still listening to his mom's voice at that time, and in HER world, one must give a big ring. Sigh. We got serious fast, and I told him I wanted to use Nama's ring, I even showed it to him, very early on, but he just couldn't hear me over his mother's nonsense.

He absolutely insisted on a ring...we went to look for them and I hated them all. Decided to have one made. Then I just wanted something NOW, because no one was taking me seriously when I would talk about wedding! Went to Gordon's Jewelers, bought something sparkly...just under their return period I realized that they had sold me a "named" ring, which meant it was NOT the ring they'd shown us under the loupe, but just one of the many rings with that name...there was a gigantic flaw, visible to the EYE, in the stone, and with that flaw it was NOT worth what he paid. So I returned it, and then we had a ring made.

So during the time I had the traditional ring, and this is why I'm sharing all of this with you, I was taken seriously by vendors and wedding gown places. During the time with my g'ma's ring, and even afterwards once I had my own ring, b/c it wasn't traditional-looking (though later Tiffany came out with a line of VERY similar, hunk of platinum with half-bezel setting), i wasn't taken very seriously.

So if your future marriage is going to be at a traditional wedding venue, if you'll be buying a gown, heck, if you're ordering flowers at a florist's, and from my time on wedding planning message boards I know that if you are in NY as your username makes it seem, be *prepared* to not be taken seriously.

Some people on my boards weren't taken seriously by friends and family, due to not having an engagement ring, or having a stone other than a diamond, or anything other than the sticking-up diamond in a normal band.

So it's worth knowing in advance.


As for things being about the marriage vs the ring...meh, I think you can do it all. Some people are accused of focusing solely on the wedding itself and not the marriage...wedding planning message boards are for that...what the couple does when offline is the marriage planning. So I definitely think it's possible to focus on wedding, marriage, and even have a "my precious" type of ring. I'm sure that some women focus on a big rock for silly reasons, just like some men focus on obtaining a big rock for silly reasons (like listening to their upbringing instead of the woman in front of them), but just b/c one has a shiny ring doesn't mean their marriage isn't a good one.


Oh, and I bought hubby an engagement ring. He hated not having one. So we went to a festival (the one that is the same as my username) and I bought him a silver celtic knot ring. Talk about some funny looks! I have an engagement ring, he has what looks like a cheapie wedding ring... Of course once I had my ring made, we still got the same, as I didn't the need for a wedding ring into account. I can't fit the ring at all right now, but once I do I'll just be wearing that...so we still have the wedding ring on guy, engagement ring on girl, issue at places like checkout counters of grocery stores, etc. And neither of us changed our last names...and DS doesn't look, at casual glance, like hubby's. And he is hyphenated.

 

[robinb]

I love my rings and they are almost the only jewelry I wear and my DH is the same. I didn't just help pick out the rings, but my DH and I designed them together. Our friend, who is a well known jeweler in the Science Fiction Convention community, made our rings for us and they are quite unusual. My diamond is an emerald cut and my engagement ring is made from rose gold and the wedding band is white gold. They fit together very organically. I don't think I would want a "traditional" ring and I am glad that my DH didn't insist on picking out a ring for me.