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- Jan 19, 2006
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Chapter 3 - What Strange Time Continuum has eaten us?
We awoke on time that Thursday morning and I was really excited to get up, get showered and hit the road. It was 4:30 a.m. and I was wide awake!
First - I hit snooze for 20 more minutes!
Then I did shower and start the brain moving about the day ahead. Dan and Carsyn followed in the bathroom after I finished and we were hustling.
Dan went out to the ghetto van to assess the packing damage and Carsyn and I followed outside within about 10 minutes to make sure we had missed any missiles becoming dislodged or fired in our direction.
Dan, the calm one - was busy grunting and humphing but other than that - he was great in the patience department of our lack of organization...or trying for that matter.
We ended up with a second suitcase we were not expecting because the day before - Dan had issues with his car. Tires to be exact on his Mustang.
(Treyner at Prom in '08 - the only pic I had that showed most of the car!)
You see we had replaced the tires about a year before, and then a few were replaced a second time by Wal-Mart for free because they had split and were covered by the warranty.
Now it seems with finding a flat on Wednesday for the third time, and taking it to Wal-Mart and throwing a fit the size of Venus (is Venus a big planet?) and asking for some answers more than your average, "Sorry," that the tires we had bought, were not supposed to ever be on a Mustang. It seems Good Year does not rate these tires for a high performance vehicle. Thus the issues and the tires splitting and the very real fact we were lucky no one had been killed while driving tires not made for the car they were on.
So Dan found this out and asked Wal-Mart what they planned to do. Talked with the store GM and the regional GM and it was decided that Wal-Mart would replace the tires with new tires that were rated for the car. At no charge to us. All 4 tires in fact.
At a tune of almost $1,600 to Wal-Mart because the only tires for the Mustang that they could get were that expensive. They also were throwing in the road side service and extended warranty.
So truthfully, although it was an aggravating Wednesday and Dan had to hitch a ride with a Buddhist man from Wal-Mart back to the hotel, (he was in the car department as a customer and overheard the whole scenario) - things were finally going to be fixed and for once we ended up on the right side of a store’s mistake.
I do think that Dan explaining that he would be happy to have every news crew in Des Moines there to do a story about how Wal-Mart placed the wrong tires on a car not once but twice without looking into the reason the tires were splitting and placed an entire family in danger daily, might have had a bit to do with it.
****A side note of how great some people are...
So the man who offered Dan the ride back to the hotel was Buddhist and when Dan got to the hotel, he offered the man money for his troubles.
The man said no, he could not take anything because if he did, it would cancel out his good deed. That in his faith, a gesture of kindness can only be given with no strings attached and no expectations of receiving anything in return. That those merits of good are recognized in heaven and if Dan were to give him money, it no longer would be kindness, it would be a commissioned act.
How awesome is that?! How much does that symbolize what should truly be a conscious thought process we all have and teach our children! That the act of giving is not expecting things in return or doing it for a quid pro quo. That you do something nice just because it is the right thing to do.
I know as a Christian the Golden Rule is "Do unto Others" but to have it broken down like that - to actually refuse something in return is not something you see very often and just shows you how truly amazing some people are if given the chance without bigotry and judgment that they are different in race, religion, skin color or background.
I wish I had a picture of the 6'6 Dan and the 5'7 Buddhist man in the car -talking about life and what really counts.
*****
So Dan when he had gone to Wal-Mart straight from work with the flat, he did not have the suitcase he had brought with that originally was going to be in the car and stay in Des Moines until we got back. It had work clothes in it - not Florida clothes that I had packed in the ghetto van.
So now - another suitcase was in the mix.
The history of the van follows if you are wondering why I call it that. If you are not wondering than screw off Scuba Steve and skip this part!
In June of this past summer, due to a long set of circumstances that I will not go into here
, we thought we would need a bigger vehicle more permanently than renting one like we had originally planned for our trips. It was a quick decision to get one and we found a van that was only $2,000. The owner was up front about the miles (197,000) and the fact it had been babied. He had all the history of oil changes and repairs etc. His family just decided it was time to move into a newer vehicle with the great deals with the economy.
The van blue booked at $4,000 so we were happy with the price and happy it was in good condition and happy to find what we needed very quickly.
Now it has been a good van to us. We have now a mileage of almost 220,000so it has gone it's distance and over all it has ran well. It just is way too small for us. It is not an extended van. If we would have had the time to really think the van thing through versus rushing into it, we would have not gotten this particular van.
The kids are full size adults now and there is no leg room in the second row of captains chairs at all behind the front seats. Treyner and Baylor have to sit sideways in that spot.
Carsyn fits there the best so we usually take out the chair closest to the door so the people riding in the back bench seat can stretch out their legs.
The back bench seat is pretty hard like most are. This causes Carsyn not to be able to sit there often because she had surgery in March and had an implant medical device put in her upper tukkus sort of like a pace maker for her bladder/kidneys. This makes sitting for long times on hard surfaces not a pleasant experience to say the least.
The other issue with the back bench seat is that the seat itself - is shorter than a captains chair is. The seat part I mean. The place where your hind end resides when sitting. So if you are tall (Dan or Treyner as of now) or fat (Dan or Me as of now
) you have little room for you tukkus.
When Treyner sits on it - his upper thighs are barely on the seat.
So...we need a new van. A different van. Not sure what we will get for this one selling it or trading it. We need a conversion van. A van that seats 7 but is meant for long rides. We are in the process of looking as we speak but are waiting for a great deal.
The reason I call it the ghetto miser van is that since we have had it, a few important things have gone awry with the thing.
#1 The back hatch does not open any longer.
#2 The back hatch window has no hydraulics left and so you have to use your head to prop it open if you are trying to stuff things behind the back bench seat.
#3 The sliding door window has gotten broken worse than when we bought it somehow. When we got it the guy said - don't open that window, the clip is broken. We have not opened it but now the window will not stay in the track and slides down the van. So we have fixed it with tape. Clear tape that holds the window in place to the door.
#4 We look like the clown posse hauling our @sses out of the van because the sight of 5 grown people (2 chubby and 2 jumbo sized (tall) ) must be a riot to those at gas stations or for that matter anywhere.
So hence the ghetto miser references.
Now you know.
Where was I before I got sidetracked twice.....
Oh yeah - Dan was repacking the van.
He re-organized the vehicular devise and we got in. Locked an Loaded and ready to roll.
Time:
Not great but not to bad. It should put us at Shannn's by 7 p.m. at the latest with stops since it was a 12 hour drive.
First stop was Gas.
Guess where?
We also went inside and bought waters for the road. Tried to find something that looked appetizing but no such luck. We passed a Krispy Kreme display but they only had originals there and they did not look fresh. Dan said he knew of a full Krispy Kreme restaurant down the road a few miles and so I threw hopes of loosing 30 pounds in 2 days out the window and we headed to sugar nirvana.
Now I like Krispy Kreme. I am not a sugar girl in the morning though. The boys - can eat a whole dozen if I allowed them. Me - no way. Just way too sweet. I love me some maple glaze though.
So we rolled up to the order speaker and Dan started with 3 maple glazed and guess what?
The voice on the other end came back that they had no maple glaze. They also had no chocolate glaze. They also had no something else because the glaze machine was busted that did the specialty glazes.
So we had to re-group. Had to reconfigure what to do.
It is like going to the land of Burger King and finding out they lost the Whopper.
Or to Taco He!! and finding out the Chihuahua got ran over just East of the Border.
It dampens the spirit.
It is one of the things that make you go hmmmm.
Then we threw caution to the wind and ordered a pumpkin spice, blueberry and assorted other fattingly, caloric filled pastries of death and here is what they looked like:
Hold on…ya gotta wait for the best part… But Don’t ya love how they have the box decorated with bows and ribbons and such like it is a gift to yourself and not your heart specialist at Mayo Clinic!
Now Bobbi Jo, the Krispy Kreme lady- could not understand why Dan was holding the box open for the picture while she was trying to give him his change.
I explained it was a new diet trick.
You order the food.
You buy the food.
You take pictures of the food.
Then you throw the food at moving vehicles and old people at bus stops.
That way you get the smell and sight experience you crave and then laugh and excersize your belly at the same time.
She literally had birds circling her head trying to figure out if I was joking or not.
We then pulled away from Bobbi Jo and headed towards the freeway and the open road.
And Tennessee...just 12 short hours ahead.
Which did not seem to bad at that moment. Plus Treyner was going to be there and I missed that boy.
Which caused me to wonder where he was at.
You see Treyner had left on Wednesday too for Tennessee. But he left from Durango, Colorado. His Dad had flown to Durango on Wed. to drive with him to Tennessee so he did not have the 24 hour drive on his own. Actually he was only going as far as Nashville because it was cheaper to fly from there back home. There drive took them through the south. Not sure if it was better or worse than our viewing pleasure but I would tend to think better because after the snow was gone from our drive - we just had dead grass and yuck to look at.
I gave him a call and they had pulled over for a quick nap but were making good time. He said they should be in Nashville by 4 p.m. with no issues. I was relieved his Dad would make the flight back to MN and also that they were alive. It was a Smokey and the Bandit run accross country in less than 30 hours for them.
Turns out Treyner did most of the driving himself minus a few hours because his Dad slept or just rode so Treyner is saying next time he needs a wing man - he would like someone without narcolepsy!
The first leg of our trip from Des Moines was East through Iowa. 80 east to be exact and it is not an exciting drive.
It does have a huge Amana Colonies area though and the German influence is palpable. We stopped by to see if any shops were open to bring Shannn some wiener schnitzel or something for her kindness but alas...the Germans were asleep still.
We did get some funny pics though.
Now this pic has been lightened so you can see it - it was still pretty dark outside when it was taken. I think it is funny that there is a restaurant called Maid Rite.
For those of you not in the Iowa language loop - A maid-rite is what I grew up calling Sloppy Joes.
I have also heard them called Taverns in Iowa and in some places of the country, BBQ’s but many times that is more of a pulled pork not ground meat.
When I first heard the term Maid -Rite I was wondering if the sister sandwich was called maid-wrong. I mean if your selling point is that it is done correctly - how many times did you not get it accurate before you proclaimed it was Rite? Also - who was the guinea pig trying all the not so good versions and did he call those less than adequate feats “Maid like sh!t?”
Yes, I am sexist and assume it was a “he” because no woman is stupid enough to try food over and over that the chef is not positive will not result in a sprint to the toilet.
Nothing says goodbye like…“get the heck outta here” in German!
Up next: Part II
We awoke on time that Thursday morning and I was really excited to get up, get showered and hit the road. It was 4:30 a.m. and I was wide awake!
First - I hit snooze for 20 more minutes!

Then I did shower and start the brain moving about the day ahead. Dan and Carsyn followed in the bathroom after I finished and we were hustling.

Dan went out to the ghetto van to assess the packing damage and Carsyn and I followed outside within about 10 minutes to make sure we had missed any missiles becoming dislodged or fired in our direction.

Dan, the calm one - was busy grunting and humphing but other than that - he was great in the patience department of our lack of organization...or trying for that matter.
We ended up with a second suitcase we were not expecting because the day before - Dan had issues with his car. Tires to be exact on his Mustang.

(Treyner at Prom in '08 - the only pic I had that showed most of the car!)
You see we had replaced the tires about a year before, and then a few were replaced a second time by Wal-Mart for free because they had split and were covered by the warranty.
Now it seems with finding a flat on Wednesday for the third time, and taking it to Wal-Mart and throwing a fit the size of Venus (is Venus a big planet?) and asking for some answers more than your average, "Sorry," that the tires we had bought, were not supposed to ever be on a Mustang. It seems Good Year does not rate these tires for a high performance vehicle. Thus the issues and the tires splitting and the very real fact we were lucky no one had been killed while driving tires not made for the car they were on.
So Dan found this out and asked Wal-Mart what they planned to do. Talked with the store GM and the regional GM and it was decided that Wal-Mart would replace the tires with new tires that were rated for the car. At no charge to us. All 4 tires in fact.

So truthfully, although it was an aggravating Wednesday and Dan had to hitch a ride with a Buddhist man from Wal-Mart back to the hotel, (he was in the car department as a customer and overheard the whole scenario) - things were finally going to be fixed and for once we ended up on the right side of a store’s mistake.
I do think that Dan explaining that he would be happy to have every news crew in Des Moines there to do a story about how Wal-Mart placed the wrong tires on a car not once but twice without looking into the reason the tires were splitting and placed an entire family in danger daily, might have had a bit to do with it.

****A side note of how great some people are...
So the man who offered Dan the ride back to the hotel was Buddhist and when Dan got to the hotel, he offered the man money for his troubles.
The man said no, he could not take anything because if he did, it would cancel out his good deed. That in his faith, a gesture of kindness can only be given with no strings attached and no expectations of receiving anything in return. That those merits of good are recognized in heaven and if Dan were to give him money, it no longer would be kindness, it would be a commissioned act.
How awesome is that?! How much does that symbolize what should truly be a conscious thought process we all have and teach our children! That the act of giving is not expecting things in return or doing it for a quid pro quo. That you do something nice just because it is the right thing to do.

I know as a Christian the Golden Rule is "Do unto Others" but to have it broken down like that - to actually refuse something in return is not something you see very often and just shows you how truly amazing some people are if given the chance without bigotry and judgment that they are different in race, religion, skin color or background.
I wish I had a picture of the 6'6 Dan and the 5'7 Buddhist man in the car -talking about life and what really counts.

So Dan when he had gone to Wal-Mart straight from work with the flat, he did not have the suitcase he had brought with that originally was going to be in the car and stay in Des Moines until we got back. It had work clothes in it - not Florida clothes that I had packed in the ghetto van.
So now - another suitcase was in the mix.
The history of the van follows if you are wondering why I call it that. If you are not wondering than screw off Scuba Steve and skip this part!

In June of this past summer, due to a long set of circumstances that I will not go into here

The van blue booked at $4,000 so we were happy with the price and happy it was in good condition and happy to find what we needed very quickly.

Now it has been a good van to us. We have now a mileage of almost 220,000so it has gone it's distance and over all it has ran well. It just is way too small for us. It is not an extended van. If we would have had the time to really think the van thing through versus rushing into it, we would have not gotten this particular van.
The kids are full size adults now and there is no leg room in the second row of captains chairs at all behind the front seats. Treyner and Baylor have to sit sideways in that spot.
Carsyn fits there the best so we usually take out the chair closest to the door so the people riding in the back bench seat can stretch out their legs.
The back bench seat is pretty hard like most are. This causes Carsyn not to be able to sit there often because she had surgery in March and had an implant medical device put in her upper tukkus sort of like a pace maker for her bladder/kidneys. This makes sitting for long times on hard surfaces not a pleasant experience to say the least.
The other issue with the back bench seat is that the seat itself - is shorter than a captains chair is. The seat part I mean. The place where your hind end resides when sitting. So if you are tall (Dan or Treyner as of now) or fat (Dan or Me as of now

When Treyner sits on it - his upper thighs are barely on the seat.
So...we need a new van. A different van. Not sure what we will get for this one selling it or trading it. We need a conversion van. A van that seats 7 but is meant for long rides. We are in the process of looking as we speak but are waiting for a great deal.
The reason I call it the ghetto miser van is that since we have had it, a few important things have gone awry with the thing.
#1 The back hatch does not open any longer.
#2 The back hatch window has no hydraulics left and so you have to use your head to prop it open if you are trying to stuff things behind the back bench seat.
#3 The sliding door window has gotten broken worse than when we bought it somehow. When we got it the guy said - don't open that window, the clip is broken. We have not opened it but now the window will not stay in the track and slides down the van. So we have fixed it with tape. Clear tape that holds the window in place to the door.
#4 We look like the clown posse hauling our @sses out of the van because the sight of 5 grown people (2 chubby and 2 jumbo sized (tall) ) must be a riot to those at gas stations or for that matter anywhere.
So hence the ghetto miser references.
Now you know.
Where was I before I got sidetracked twice.....
Oh yeah - Dan was repacking the van.
He re-organized the vehicular devise and we got in. Locked an Loaded and ready to roll.
Time:

Not great but not to bad. It should put us at Shannn's by 7 p.m. at the latest with stops since it was a 12 hour drive.
First stop was Gas.
Guess where?

We also went inside and bought waters for the road. Tried to find something that looked appetizing but no such luck. We passed a Krispy Kreme display but they only had originals there and they did not look fresh. Dan said he knew of a full Krispy Kreme restaurant down the road a few miles and so I threw hopes of loosing 30 pounds in 2 days out the window and we headed to sugar nirvana.
Now I like Krispy Kreme. I am not a sugar girl in the morning though. The boys - can eat a whole dozen if I allowed them. Me - no way. Just way too sweet. I love me some maple glaze though.

So we rolled up to the order speaker and Dan started with 3 maple glazed and guess what?
The voice on the other end came back that they had no maple glaze. They also had no chocolate glaze. They also had no something else because the glaze machine was busted that did the specialty glazes.

So we had to re-group. Had to reconfigure what to do.
It is like going to the land of Burger King and finding out they lost the Whopper.
Or to Taco He!! and finding out the Chihuahua got ran over just East of the Border.
It dampens the spirit.
It is one of the things that make you go hmmmm.
Then we threw caution to the wind and ordered a pumpkin spice, blueberry and assorted other fattingly, caloric filled pastries of death and here is what they looked like:

Hold on…ya gotta wait for the best part… But Don’t ya love how they have the box decorated with bows and ribbons and such like it is a gift to yourself and not your heart specialist at Mayo Clinic!
Now Bobbi Jo, the Krispy Kreme lady- could not understand why Dan was holding the box open for the picture while she was trying to give him his change.

I explained it was a new diet trick.
You order the food.
You buy the food.
You take pictures of the food.
Then you throw the food at moving vehicles and old people at bus stops.
That way you get the smell and sight experience you crave and then laugh and excersize your belly at the same time.
She literally had birds circling her head trying to figure out if I was joking or not.

We then pulled away from Bobbi Jo and headed towards the freeway and the open road.
And Tennessee...just 12 short hours ahead.
Which did not seem to bad at that moment. Plus Treyner was going to be there and I missed that boy.
Which caused me to wonder where he was at.
You see Treyner had left on Wednesday too for Tennessee. But he left from Durango, Colorado. His Dad had flown to Durango on Wed. to drive with him to Tennessee so he did not have the 24 hour drive on his own. Actually he was only going as far as Nashville because it was cheaper to fly from there back home. There drive took them through the south. Not sure if it was better or worse than our viewing pleasure but I would tend to think better because after the snow was gone from our drive - we just had dead grass and yuck to look at.
I gave him a call and they had pulled over for a quick nap but were making good time. He said they should be in Nashville by 4 p.m. with no issues. I was relieved his Dad would make the flight back to MN and also that they were alive. It was a Smokey and the Bandit run accross country in less than 30 hours for them.
Turns out Treyner did most of the driving himself minus a few hours because his Dad slept or just rode so Treyner is saying next time he needs a wing man - he would like someone without narcolepsy!

The first leg of our trip from Des Moines was East through Iowa. 80 east to be exact and it is not an exciting drive.
It does have a huge Amana Colonies area though and the German influence is palpable. We stopped by to see if any shops were open to bring Shannn some wiener schnitzel or something for her kindness but alas...the Germans were asleep still.
We did get some funny pics though.

Now this pic has been lightened so you can see it - it was still pretty dark outside when it was taken. I think it is funny that there is a restaurant called Maid Rite.
For those of you not in the Iowa language loop - A maid-rite is what I grew up calling Sloppy Joes.

I have also heard them called Taverns in Iowa and in some places of the country, BBQ’s but many times that is more of a pulled pork not ground meat.
When I first heard the term Maid -Rite I was wondering if the sister sandwich was called maid-wrong. I mean if your selling point is that it is done correctly - how many times did you not get it accurate before you proclaimed it was Rite? Also - who was the guinea pig trying all the not so good versions and did he call those less than adequate feats “Maid like sh!t?”

Yes, I am sexist and assume it was a “he” because no woman is stupid enough to try food over and over that the chef is not positive will not result in a sprint to the toilet.


Nothing says goodbye like…“get the heck outta here” in German!
Up next: Part II