1GoldenSun
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2017
The thread about "life-changing" amounts of money got me thinking abut what I WOULD do if I came into a life-changing sum of money. Helping your children seems to be a common response on that thread.
How much help do you think is actually helpful as opposed to doing too much for your children? Obviously something like the Lori Laughlin affair is going too far, but how far do you think you can go to help your kids before it becomes more detrimental than beneficial?
My husband and I differ on this sometimes. We both grew up with less than what we have now, and sometimes what I view as giving our children opportunities we didn't have, he views as spoiling them. I'm talking about things like summer camps and extracurricular activities, but also material things to an extent. These are things we can very easily afford.
Right now the kids don't really have any earning power so everything they have is compliments of Mom and Dad. So it's not really a question of how much we "help" them but how much we "give" them. But soon we'll be talking cars, college, etc. I would be happy to "help" with these expenses, but DH feels they need to figure out how to pay for these on their own. I see his point; I don't want them to be lazy and entitled and expect life to be easy. But if we can afford to make life easier for them than it was for us, should we?
What do you think? How much would you be wiling to "help" or give your kids if money weren't really much of a factor. For those of you who went through something of a struggle during the "lean years" when you were just starting out (like DH and I both did!) but are doing well now, do you think those difficult years made you stronger and were worth the struggle? Do you think you would have turned out as well if someone had been there to help out when your car needed brakes or your new job required a wardrobe you couldn't afford? How much should we let our kids struggle when we can afford to help?
How much help do you think is actually helpful as opposed to doing too much for your children? Obviously something like the Lori Laughlin affair is going too far, but how far do you think you can go to help your kids before it becomes more detrimental than beneficial?
My husband and I differ on this sometimes. We both grew up with less than what we have now, and sometimes what I view as giving our children opportunities we didn't have, he views as spoiling them. I'm talking about things like summer camps and extracurricular activities, but also material things to an extent. These are things we can very easily afford.
Right now the kids don't really have any earning power so everything they have is compliments of Mom and Dad. So it's not really a question of how much we "help" them but how much we "give" them. But soon we'll be talking cars, college, etc. I would be happy to "help" with these expenses, but DH feels they need to figure out how to pay for these on their own. I see his point; I don't want them to be lazy and entitled and expect life to be easy. But if we can afford to make life easier for them than it was for us, should we?
What do you think? How much would you be wiling to "help" or give your kids if money weren't really much of a factor. For those of you who went through something of a struggle during the "lean years" when you were just starting out (like DH and I both did!) but are doing well now, do you think those difficult years made you stronger and were worth the struggle? Do you think you would have turned out as well if someone had been there to help out when your car needed brakes or your new job required a wardrobe you couldn't afford? How much should we let our kids struggle when we can afford to help?