Sorry, no I don't want your kids to share my room.

[Nutbean]

I don't think it's necessary to sit her down and explain to her you will not share your room. Your expectations of each of you remaining in your own rooms is the expected plan for anyone traveling together.

If she directly asks if she can have one of her kids sleep in your room, then at that point you simply say "None of us want to share a bed, which is why I'm bringing the air mattress for DS."

But if she doesn't ask before you go on your trip, there's no reason for her to otherwise assume your room is hers for the taking. On the first night, if she tries to send one of her kids in to your room, you simply reply with surprise, "ha ha - you know nobody will get any sleep if we start having sleepovers. I'll see you in the morning!"
She'll have an air mattress, which will mean three beds even without a pack and play. That means two kids to a bed and her by herself, or her and the 2yo in one, two in a second and the last one by him/herself. She doesn't need your room, and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Brilliant (and a very true) response. I will definitely use this. Thanks!!

 

[mzozzietj]

Brilliant (and a very true) response. I will definitely use this. Thanks!!

I liked the suggestion above as well

But, all she has to do is put the 2.5 year old in the pack and play and they can all fit just fine. That IS the reason they allow 5 in the room only when one is under 3. My DD had no issues with the pack and play even at 3. They get so wiped out. Plus, if everyone else is exhausted it's safer to have the little one in there so it's not so easy to escape!

 

[Wood Nymph]

They might if the rooms were booked together. On 3 different occasions I ended up with connecting rooms with friends even thought we didn't request it.

I am really surprised about that. Did you have linked reservations with a group gathering number?

I guess the OP should avoid booking the rooms together.

 

[cmwade77]

Be direct and clear about your feelings, if that fails, book a different value resort and meet at the parks in the mornings.

 

[triplejen]

Brilliant (and a very true) response. I will definitely use this. Thanks!!

You're welcome - good luck and have fun!

 

[danceintherain]

I don't think it's necessary to sit her down and explain to her you will not share your room. Your expectations of each of you remaining in your own rooms is the expected plan for anyone traveling together.

If she directly asks if she can have one of her kids sleep in your room, then at that point you simply say "None of us want to share a bed, which is why I'm bringing the air mattress for DS."

But if she doesn't ask before you go on your trip, there's no reason for her to otherwise assume your room is hers for the taking. On the first night, if she tries to send one of her kids in to your room, you simply reply with surprise, "ha ha - you know nobody will get any sleep if we start having sleepovers. I'll see you in the morning!"

She'll have an air mattress, which will mean three beds even without a pack and play. That means two kids to a bed and her by herself, or her and the 2yo in one, two in a second and the last one by him/herself. She doesn't need your room, and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

That's a much more tactful way of handling the situation.

 

[DLgal]

If this is the kind of friend that you are not close enough to to tell directly and honestly that you do NOT want any of her kids sleeping in your room, you should not be traveling together.

Tell her NOW. Before you get there. So you can have time to change your plans if needed. You don't want this to blow up during the trip.

As a grown woman, don't you want privacy too? I mean, those value rooms are TINY. What about when you guys all need to shower and get dressed? While everyone tries to be discreet, I'm sure on occasion, someone will not be fully dressed or something and that would be very awkward with kids that are not your own in the room.

 

[Nutbean]

If this is the kind of friend that you are not close enough to to tell directly and honestly that you do NOT want any of her kids sleeping in your room, you should not be traveling together.

Tell her NOW. Before you get there. So you can have time to change your plans if needed. You don't want this to blow up during the trip.

As a grown woman, don't you want privacy too? I mean, those value rooms are TINY. What about when you guys all need to shower and get dressed? While everyone tries to be discreet, I'm sure on occasion, someone will not be fully dressed or something and that would be very awkward with kids that are not your own in the room.

I disagree. I'm extremely close with my sister but I would still find it awkward to say that to her if she were the one I was travelling with instead. Heck, I'm not sure I wouldn't be slightly offended myself if someone came right out and said that to me! It's a delicate situation.

 

[WanderlustNZ]

Firstly, I have to say that I'm surprised your friend would even consider this option and I can understand why it makes you uncomfortable.

For me it's not just a case of bed and bathroom space, but also privacy. When you're around other people's kids, there's that slight degree of feeling like you have to mind what you say which you don't get when you're around your own family. It's easy for me to tell my son off for inappropriate behavior or leaving a mess around the room, but not so easy to tell my friend's kids. When it's just me, my son, and my husband, I don't give a second thought to mundane things such as waking up and with my hair standing on end or snoring in my sleep. Plus if my friends or their kids do something that day that annoys me (and yes it happens even with the best of friends), I like that I have that bit of time in the evening away from her family so I can start fresh the next day.

With all that said, I think you need to be direct with your friend well before the vacation.
While the casual, blase option on the first night of your holiday might work, it might also blow up in your face. What if your friend has her child (let's call her Mary) standing next to her and replies "Oh don't worry, Mary is really tired, s/he won't keep you awake, will you Mary".
It'll become one of those uncomfortable situations where you either risk offending your friend right at the start of the trip, or if you're like me you'll be awful when put on the spot and will give in. Or worse yet, she addresses your daughter on the first night and says "Would you like it if Mary came shared a room with you?". Suddenly your kids are being the ones put in uncomfortable situations.

Okay, those options are extreme, but going from what you said in your first post your friend clearly thinks this room swap is happening. By you not coming out directly and saying 'No' she probably thinks you're onboard with it. Sort it out now, to avoid any possible animosity on your trip.

Perhaps say, "Hey, you know how you suggested the kids swap room on the trip? I've been thinking about it, and if it's okay I'd prefer we just kept our own rooms. We'll all be tired after the parks and I think my kids will sleep better if they're not chatting or sharing a bed". She might be a touch put-out, but she'll get over it quickly enough. Then you can look forward to your trip without worry or stress.

 

[sndral]

A friend and I are surprising our kids with a trip to DW this September. My kids (DD 13, DS 7) and I have been twice before but this will be a first trip for my friend and her kids (DD 17, DD 15, DS 11, DD 2). We will be staying at a value resort as it is the most cost effective for both of us.


My plan is to move the table and chairs beside the window and bring an air mattress to lay on the floor beside the tv stand. I've seen pictures of others who have done it.

I told her about my plan to put DS on an air mattress and even bought a second one so that one of her kids can use it in their room. I've also repeatedly told her that I want a bed to myself but she said on more than one occasion that she expects that the kids will be scattered throughout both our rooms.

I suppose one way to handle this would be to request that we NOT have connecting or even adjoining rooms but I'm still worried that she will expect DD or myself to share our bed with one of her kids.

Ideas on how to handle this without causing offense?

Yes, that's exactly it. I told her about the possibility of a pack'n'play and she said her DD2 wouldn't sleep in one, that she would share the bed with her. That leaves three of them to share the remaining double bed.

My hope is that her DD 17 and DD 15 will share the remaining double bed and she will easily accept my proposal of her DS 11 sleeping on the second air mattress (as my son is in our room) in their room, leaving DD and I each with a much coveted bed to ourselves.

First, let me say how wonderful that you are surprising your kids and taking this group for their first WDW vacation ever - it's always fun to see the magic through others' eyes - but it's a challenge, as well, especially where, as is the case here, budget for her is a big factor.
I think that in this situation a good heart to heart is in order, most people would have already gotten the hint, IMO, she hasn't, so clarity before you go will clear the air. Plus even w/out connecting rooms she could still plan to ship one of her kids into your room.
She has not stayed in these rooms, you have, you have suggested the pack'n'play and she has rejected that idea. You have expressed your desire to have your own bed, she has not contradicted that, but has said that she expects the kids to be scattered in the 2 rooms - that doesn't mean that she expects you to share a bed, just that she thinks your daughter or son may.
I suspect that by purchasing that extra bed you may be sending the signal to her that you have part ownership of her overcrowding problem. Plus when she has said that she expects the kids to be in both rooms you have not contradicted her - so since you have not directly told her no, she's operating on a lack of knowledge as to your true feelings.
I would sit down w/ her and say - do you want to bring the extra bed w/ you for your DS to sleep on? If she says no, explain the layout of the room and ask her where she intends for each of her children to sleep. She may not have really thought this through, so you are helping her to think this through. If she mentions putting one of her dds in your room, just say no, I don't want to do that - love you and your kids and am so looking forward to having a blast on this vacation, but after a long day in the parks I need my space.

 

[jaykorf001]

Maybe this ship has sailed but what about renting a house/2 condos at Windsor Hills or the like and saving money and having more flexible room?

 

[Nutbean]

Maybe this ship has sailed but what about renting a house/2 condos at Windsor Hills or the like and saving money and having more flexible room?

Good suggestion, however, free dining trumps space for us, lol!!

 

[Nutbean]

First, let me say how wonderful that you are surprising your kids and taking this group for their first WDW vacation ever - it's always fun to see the magic through others' eyes - but it's a challenge, as well, especially where, as is the case here, budget for her is a big factor.
I think that in this situation a good heart to heart is in order, most people would have already gotten the hint, IMO, she hasn't, so clarity before you go will clear the air. Plus even w/out connecting rooms she could still plan to ship one of her kids into your room.
She has not stayed in these rooms, you have, you have suggested the pack'n'play and she has rejected that idea. You have expressed your desire to have your own bed, she has not contradicted that, but has said that she expects the kids to be scattered in the 2 rooms - that doesn't mean that she expects you to share a bed, just that she thinks your daughter or son may.
I suspect that by purchasing that extra bed you may be sending the signal to her that you have part ownership of her overcrowding problem. Plus when she has said that she expects the kids to be in both rooms you have not contradicted her - so since you have not directly told her no, she's operating on a lack of knowledge as to your true feelings.
I would sit down w/ her and say - do you want to bring the extra bed w/ you for your DS to sleep on? If she says no, explain the layout of the room and ask her where she intends for each of her children to sleep. She may not have really thought this through, so you are helping her to think this through. If she mentions putting one of her dds in your room, just say no, I don't want to do that - love you and your kids and am so looking forward to having a blast on this vacation, but after a long day in the parks I need my space.

I just texted her this question and she answered "yes." Score!!!

 

[mmmears]

We've frequently traveled with friends (but not to WDW). I've found that we all need our space and that kids don't wind down when they are switching rooms or having a sleepover in a hotel. I would say that, for the sake of all of you, that you think everyone will get a better night's rest if you go back to your respective rooms at night. Also, it may be too much "togetherness" if the kids are together 24/7.