Sorry, no I don't want your kids to share my room.

[Nutbean]

A friend and I are surprising our kids with a trip to DW this September. My kids (DD 13, DS 7) and I have been twice before but this will be a first trip for my friend and her kids (DD 17, DD 15, DS 11, DD 2). We will be staying at a value resort as it is the most cost effective for both of us.

Here is the situation...

I don't want her kids to end up sleeping in my room. I feel greedy having our room with just the three of us while she has five stuffed in hers but we've done the sleeping two to a double bed on our last two trips (except for when we were moved to a Cars suite at AoA when the A/C didn't work in our LM room, DH and I had a king and each kid had their own double bed...we all agreed, it was HEAVEN!) and we just don't want to do it anymore.

My plan is to move the table and chairs beside the window and bring an air mattress to lay on the floor beside the tv stand. I've seen pictures of others who have done it.

I told her about my plan to put DS on an air mattress and even bought a second one so that one of her kids can use it in their room. I've also repeatedly told her that I want a bed to myself but she said on more than one occasion that she expects that the kids will be scattered throughout both our rooms.

I suppose one way to handle this would be to request that we NOT have connecting or even adjoining rooms but I'm still worried that she will expect DD or myself to share our bed with one of her kids.

Ideas on how to handle this without causing offense?

 

[jecon]

You need to be upfront about your feelings. If she is a true friend she will understand. It is better to be honest. We go to WDW with our closest friends and I feel being as upfront as possible is best to ensure an enjoyable vacation for all. It's only fair to both of you.

 

[Wood Nymph]

They won't assign connecting rooms unless you ask for it. I guess the only thing you can do is be firm with your expectations for the trip. And let your kids know, too.

 

[DonnaDuck333]

Be "direct" and Be "clear" about your feelings, leave no room for it to fall on deaf ears. If she can't accept that your uncomfortable with it, then maybe you might consider getting a room on a different floor or something. Good luck and try not to stress

 

[scootch]

I agree with the others, just be upfront about it... and be sure your kids know this isn't changing, so don't even ask!! that way you don't have your kids coaxing for it at the end of the day and then you have to deal with that. Your friend will get over it if she is a bit miffed.

 

[phoebec]

I don't think she can have 5 in her room, she might have to get 2. I am pretty sure 4 is the max at a value

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

Well, since she cannot or chooses not to take the hint you will need to be direct with her. Tell her now that you find the beds small and cannot accommodate her. I assume the baby will be in a crib/playpen so if one of her kids comes to your room she will end up with a whole bed to herself while you share! I truly feel that if someone puts you on the spot like that then you should not be embarrassed to set them straight. Be careful because this could potentially be a deal breaker on vacation if you are not clear about it ahead of time and she holds a grudge in disney. Good luck and IMHO your friend has some nerve!

 

[Nutbean]

I don't think she can have 5 in her room, she might have to get 2. I am pretty sure 4 is the max at a value

For the values, you can have 4 to a room plus a child under 3. Her youngest DD will still be 2.

 

[nonstopdisneymom]

I don't think she can have 5 in her room, she might have to get 2. I am pretty sure 4 is the max at a value

She can have 5 ONLY because the youngest is under 3.

 

[Momtomouselover]

I understand for I only sleep well with my husband in my bed and not anyone else. On this next trip I will have my son in a bed with me but typically I try to avoid it.

 

[danceintherain]

How is that greedy? You're spending money on your room, and she on hers. She has a certain number of kids. If she feels as if she needs more space, she should get a second room. That's it.

Sorry...but I'm very possessive over my bed space.

Yes, her room will be crowded, but that's not really your problem. If you have to lock them out at night, then do it.

Honestly...I don't really see any forced sharing possibilities in your situation.
I suppose if whichever of your children is getting the other bed wants to offer to share with one of her kids, then fine, but I don't really see how that would fix their situation. They either share a bed with one of their own siblings, or one of your kids. It's not as if you have a whole extra bed in there.

 

[anonymousegirl]

I would be very direct as PP have suggested. I would say " I love your kids but I do not feel comfortable sharing a room with them."

 

[danceintherain]

I understand for I only sleep well with my husband in my bed and not anyone else. On this next trip I will have my son in a bed with me but typically I try to avoid it.

The youngest is under 3, so still considered an "infant."

 

[msjprincess]

They won't assign connecting rooms unless you ask for it. I guess the only thing you can do is be firm with your expectations for the trip. And let your kids know, too.

They might if the rooms were booked together. On 3 different occasions I ended up with connecting rooms with friends even thought we didn't request it.

 

[danceintherain]

Well, since she cannot or chooses not to take the hint you will need to be direct with her. Tell her now that you find the beds small and cannot accommodate her. I assume the baby will be in a crib/playpen so if one of her kids comes to your room she will end up with a whole bed to herself while you share! I truly feel that if someone puts you on the spot like that then you should not be embarrassed to set them straight. Be careful because this could potentially be a deal breaker on vacation if you are not clear about it ahead of time and she holds a grudge in disney. Good luck and IMHO your friend has some nerve!

My son was pretty well outgrown of a packnplay by the time he was 2. We had a twin sized air mattress for him during our recent trip when he was 2 1/2.

Besides...it's unlikely that she'll be able to fit both a pack'n'play and an air mattress in a value room (I've never stayed in one, but it would be a tight fit in a moderate, so I imagine it would be even tighter in a value)

 

[Nutbean]

My son was pretty well outgrown of a packnplay by the time he was 2. We had a twin sized air mattress for him during our recent trip when he was 2 1/2.

Besides...it's unlikely that she'll be able to fit both a pack'n'play and an air mattress in a value room (I've never stayed in one, but it would be a tight fit in a moderate, so I imagine it would be even tighter in a value)

Yes, that's exactly it. I told her about the possibility of a pack'n'play and she said her DD2 wouldn't sleep in one, that she would share the bed with her. That leaves three of them to share the remaining double bed.

My hope is that her DD 17 and DD 15 will share the remaining double bed and she will easily accept my proposal of her DS 11 sleeping on the second air mattress (as my son is in our room) in their room, leaving DD and I each with a much coveted bed to ourselves.

 

[gilesmt]

You must sit her down and tell her directly. I had a friend once who went on vacation with us, she did not take direct conversations and we are no longer friends. If she still does not except the terms, and makes more comments, and if you still value the relationship, than you may have to consider not just asking for a different room location, but also a different hotel for one party group, like one at pop and one at AoA. This could be the end to your friendship.

 

[danceintherain]

Yes, that's exactly it. I told her about the possibility of a pack'n'play and she said her DD2 wouldn't sleep in one, that she would share the bed with her. That leaves three of them to share the remaining double bed.

My hope is that her DD 17 and DD 15 will share the remaining double bed and she will easily accept my proposal of her DS 11 sleeping on the second air mattress (as my son is in our room) in their room.

Maybe use your 13 year old as your backup? I expect she'll be almost as excited about not sharing a bed as you are (especially if you emphasize it to her). She probably would also not enjoy being relegated to an air mattress for the sake of somebody else's kid.
The 7 year old may very well like having his own bed, even if it's just an air mattress too.
I also think by the time my brothers were 11, they were pretty much over sharing beds with anyone...so her son might be perfectly happy sleeping on the air mattress.

I think the biggest risk you have is them trying to convince you that your 7 year old should sleep with you, so all the "teenagers" can have their own beds, and to that you play the "I'm paying for this vacation, so I deserve my own bed" card. Yeah...your friend may find offense to that, but they're not your kids.

 

[Nutbean]

Maybe use your 13 year old as your backup? I expect she'll be almost as excited about not sharing a bed as you are (especially if you emphasize it to her). She probably would also not enjoy being relegated to an air mattress for the sake of somebody else's kid.
The 7 year old may very well like having his own bed, even if it's just an air mattress too.
I also think by the time my brothers were 11, they were pretty much over sharing beds with anyone...so her son might be perfectly happy sleeping on the air mattress.

I think the biggest risk you have is them trying to convince you that your 7 year old should sleep with you, so all the "teenagers" can have their own beds, and to that you play the "I'm paying for this vacation, so I deserve my own bed" card. Yeah...your friend may find offense to that, but they're not your kids.

Yeah, my plan is to pull DD13 over to the side after we've surprised them the morning we leave to give her the downlow. I know she would be a good sport and share her bed but I'm POSITIVE she'd love not having to.

You are correct, DS7 will be fine sleeping on an air mattress. I'm not sure if her DS11 will care or if it would be more her upset by the idea.

The other side to this is that at the end of the day, I think it would just be nice to have some time alone with just my kids, to relax together the three of us. Yes, we are going with another family but that does not mean that I want to be with them every single waking (and sleeping) moment, lol!!

 

[triplejen]

I don't think it's necessary to sit her down and explain to her you will not share your room. Your expectations of each of you remaining in your own rooms is the expected plan for anyone traveling together.

If she directly asks if she can have one of her kids sleep in your room, then at that point you simply say "None of us want to share a bed, which is why I'm bringing the air mattress for DS."

But if she doesn't ask before you go on your trip, there's no reason for her to otherwise assume your room is hers for the taking. On the first night, if she tries to send one of her kids in to your room, you simply reply with surprise, "ha ha - you know nobody will get any sleep if we start having sleepovers. I'll see you in the morning!"

She'll have an air mattress, which will mean three beds even without a pack and play. That means two kids to a bed and her by herself, or her and the 2yo in one, two in a second and the last one by him/herself. She doesn't need your room, and you have nothing to feel guilty about.