I am sorry that the previous poster did not have a positive sorority experience like many others of us here have. As with anything, there can be negative aspects present and it sounds like this chapter was not run properly - as evidenced by the national office revoking their charter. A sorority is not a cult. Yes, there are going to be "mandatory" events and sisterhoods - but if you actually want to be involved and want to spend time with your sisters, they never feel "mandatory." Additionally, if you have outisde commitments, such as class, work or something else, a well run organization will have provisions for absences provided a reaonable "excuse" is given in a timely manner. Any organization, whether it be Greek or professional does expect a certain level of involvement from it's members. If none of the members are involved, the organization will not be able to survive.
If a sister decides to disaffiliate, that is her choice and she is free to make it. While I was an active, we did have some girls choose to disaffiliate and they were not ostracized for their decision and still hung out with their close friends who remained in the sorority. Yes, since Greek organizations typically have a national office, there is some paperwork involved for the purpose of records, but it is nothing obnoxious or uncalled for.
Finally, to address the idea that you cannot have a life outside of a sorority. When I was an active collegiate member of a sorority I also was able to include the following activities:
Varsity Track & Field
Resident Advisor
My professional organization for my major
Honors program (and I graduated with honors)
I also was able to spend time with friends outside the Greek system without any issues.
From any campus I've been on or known of, Greek community members are
encouraged to be involved in other organizations and are typically known as some of the strong leaders on campus. Are there some fraternity and sorority members who choose to make their Greek organization the sole focus of their collegiate experience? Yes, absolutely. But that does not HAVE to be the case. It can be a great enhancement to the college (and post-college) experience.
As with any situation, it is what you make of it. Greek organizations, and any extracurricular organizations are not necessarily for everyone. That's why it's optional to join. Again, to the OP, I wish your daughter the best of luck and the best piece of advice is that she keep an open mind and try to take everything into consideration when she makes her decision.
-Abby
Tell her not to blow her time in a sorority. They're like little cults where you have to be places and do things to meet "sisterhood requirements". I was part of a sorority. It was fine in the beginning when I still had time to indulge all my other interests. Then the dictatorship took over from within and "mandatory sisterhood events" became a part of our weekly calendar.
By that point the membership had dwindled to 24 active. Eight of us with outside interests (aka "lives") decided to leave the sorority. You can't leave a cult though! The stuff went down and a call was placed to nationals. The sorority ended up loosing it's charter and is no longer in existance anymore.
Similar stuff happened with 2 others on my campus in the four years I was there.
Bottom line, if your DD has a life and outside interests or is hoping to pick up some life experiences she can best do that without a sorority. If she wants to limit herself to a potentially restrictive nest of Greek life then she should take the chance - nothing ever has to be permanent - just have her be prepared to deal with the consequences if she should ever want out.