Son got teased at the playground.

[HM]

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[pocomom]

Given that the children didn't know each other, I would consider this just random aggression, not bullying. But that's really a matter of semantics. If someone's planning to physically assault you, it doesn't really matter what you call it.

I agree.
I didn't feel the incident was bullying, just jerky playground behavior BUT the kid himself probably is/was a bully- randomly picking on a smaller child, I doubt my son was the first time he tried it. Maybe now he'll be the last?

 

[Magpie]

Yep.

When I was a little girl, about 6 years old, there was a 4th grade boy that would push me down. He did it almost every day. At our bus stop. He would grab my books and shove me, throwing my books in the process.

This went on for weeks. THAT is bullying.

I feel guilty "liking" a post about a six year old girl being bullied.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I feel guilty "liking" a post about a six year old girl being bullied.

Don't worry about it.

My sister took care of the problem. And I am pretty sure he never bullied again.

 

[Magpie]

Don't worry about it.

My sister took care of the problem. And I am pretty sure he never bullied again.

Aw, that's awesome!

 

[PollyannaMom]

I believe ignoring a bully means not letting them provoke a hurt or angry reaction. "Ignore" is the strategic eye roll, the sigh of crushing contempt, the snarky comment that puts the bully in his or her place. Properly "ignoring" a bully is a skill that can be tough to master. It's the ability to convey both boredom and amusement at the bully's sadly ineffectual efforts to get your goat. It's an act, and when you've got it down, it's hugely effective. It gives the outward appearance of you taking the high road, while at the same time you're handily de-fanging your opponent.

Excellent description!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I think it worked out just fine...

 

[King Schultz]

I think the advice to "ignore" a bully is often not explained in a clear way. Sometimes it's even just a way for adults to shut the complainer (ie, victim) up and put the blame on them.

"Ignore" should not mean refusing to stick up for yourself, just taking the abuse without comment. If you do that, then yes - the bully will escalate.

A properly timed punch can be effective, it's true. But not all kids are going to be able to punch their opponents. Some because of draconian school rules, and others because they simply aren't physical fighters. I was one of those. Many, many people encouraged me to learn to punch. They had me practice making a fist and throwing my weak little punches at their hands. It didn't work. Punching is not my way of fighting.

Words, on the other hand! I'm good with my words. :-D

I believe ignoring a bully means not letting them provoke a hurt or angry reaction. "Ignore" is the strategic eye roll, the sigh of crushing contempt, the snarky comment that puts the bully in his or her place. Properly "ignoring" a bully is a skill that can be tough to master. It's the ability to convey both boredom and amusement at the bully's sadly ineffectual efforts to get your goat. It's an act, and when you've got it down, it's hugely effective. It gives the outward appearance of you taking the high road, while at the same time you're handily de-fanging your opponent.

I have "ignored" bullies of all ages, child and adult. I've done it on my behalf, and on the behalf of others. I remember in the Reserves, a young man was teasing a tiny Asian girl, curling up his lip at her every time she glanced their way. I got angry and the next time he looked our way I smiled at him and said sweetly (as if I was trying to be helpful), "Oh, no! Your intelligence is showing." His friends burst out laughing and he refused to look at us for the rest of the day. And after that, he was less of a jerk to her.

The problem is, we rarely explain this technique properly to kids and we almost never coach them in the skills required to pull it off. And sadly some kids will never be able to effectively master it - they wear their feelings out on their sleeve for everyone to see and exploit. They react impulsively. They can't pretend to feel something different from what they really feel. These kids are why we need to have strong adult leadership in schools, and effective anti-bullying initiatives among the students.

I get what you're saying and in theory I even agree. . .

But. . . I grew up in Long Beach, CA. and trust me, that would not work the majority of the time.

Sooner or later you had to fight or you became a perpetual victim.

 

[Magpie]

I get what you're saying and in theory I even agree. . .

But. . . I grew up in Long Beach, CA. and trust me, that would not work the majority of the time.

Sooner or later you had to fight or you became a perpetual victim.

There's many different ways of "fighting", especially if you're a girl. Me, I decided school was like a giant video game and the only element I could control was myself. Then I worked on mastering effective social manipulation techniques.

("Hm. What can I say here that will NOT get me punched?" "Oh, hey, an opportunity to rack up some friendship points with a classmate!" "LEVEL UP! Master of Deception, achieved!" I was such a nerd.)

 

[King Schultz]

There's many different ways of "fighting", especially if you're a girl. Me, I decided school was like a giant video game and the only element I could control was myself. Then I worked on mastering effective social manipulation techniques.

("Hm. What can I say here that will NOT get me punched?" "Oh, hey, an opportunity to rack up some friendship points with a classmate!" "LEVEL UP! Master of Deception, achieved!" I was such a nerd.)

As a guy growing up where the Crips and the Bloods were being formed, a well timed quip didn't get you too far.

I'm glad you didn't have to experience what I did.

 

[Magpie]

As a guy growing up where the Crips and the Bloods were being formed, a well timed quip didn't get you too far.

I'm glad you didn't have to experience what I did.

Me, too!

I think one of the best things my mum ever did was move us to Canada.

Also, I'm very sorry you had to experience what you did. What I went through was bad enough!