Son Bully'd at School Again

[WantToGoNow]

I posted on here about a month ago about my son being beaten up by a boy at school. This boys dad even put his finger in my sons face and cursed at him. At that time, I called the school and the Principal had a talk with both boys and things had been good until yesterday.

My ds8 came home yesterday and said "Trey did it again". I asked what. He said that he walked by him and called him a Queer and the "R" word (I would imagine this is the slang for a special needs person). Then two other boys started chasing him and chased him up the play equipment where they trapped him in (doesn't he know if you're running from someone, stay out in the open). Those boys held him while the other punched him repeatedly in the stomach. When the playground aide found out what happened, Trey told her that my son had called him those names. My son didn't even know those words and asked me yesterday what they meant. So my son was the one that got into trouble. I sent an email to the teacher as soon as he told me but I haven't received a response.

 

[minniebeth]

It's so sad that all this starts so young (or at all). Be persistent with the teacher and principal and document everything. Make it clear that it is not acceptable and if it is not stopped, you will need to take it further. I'm so sorry this has happened to your DS

 

[jms531]

Wow. First of all for you and your little boy. Bullying is a horrible thing and no one should have to put up with it.

Here's my question. Even IF your son called the other boys (I understand he didn't) those names-the other boys HIT your son. HOW ARE THEY NOT RESPONSIBLE?!?!? As a parent I would be absolutely livid. Those boys that hit your son need to be taken out of school and severely punished. I am appalled that especially after the school being aware of this situation the boys weren't supervised enough to prevent this from happening again.
I have a HUGE problem with bullying-I get extremely fired up about it. It's a big deal that can have a huge impact on a child and school's NEED to take it seriously.

If I were you, I'd be in that Principal's office ASAP. Something needs to get done because unfortunately if a change is not made, things will not change and possibly get worse. Good luck!

 

[ireland_nicole]

I agree with the pp's. This is a huge problem. You need to speak with the principal today. This is not a he said/he said situation. Your son was assaulted by a group of boys. THere needs to be significant reprisal, along with a very clear action plan of how the school will not allow this to happen again.

 

[Befferk]

Get law enforcement involved. I know it sounds extreme, but I believe they are starting this at my son's school. If there is bullying, the police are called. These kids need to learn that this is not acceptable as an adult, and it shouldn't be tolerated because they are "just kids".

 

[Mathfailure]

I would do what you have been advised, plus on our Ohio school's website there is a place to report bullying. I do not know if this is state wide.

I would be beyond myself.

Do you have any proof of the first time, writing from you to the school or the school to you? If the principal and teacher are not interested, the superintendent or the school board will be, and I would not hesitate.

Poor little guy.

 

[JimR24]

Sorry this has happened to your son. Yes it does start at an early age. Most schools do have some kind of "bullying" program but very few things are ever done about it. Like another poster said - it's chalked up as kids being kids. I was raised the youngest of 5 boys and was taught very early on to stand up for myself against situations like this. You would be surprised how quickly this would end if that happened. I might be the minority here but that how I was raised. I never looked for a fight or started one but I found out early on, running makes it worse.

Hopefully everything works out for your son.

 

[micheleq]

You need to march into that school and sit in the principal's office and wait until s/he can see you. If your son was only repeating what was said to him, then he should not have gotten in trouble. Tell him that if it happens again he needs to find a teacher (not an aide) and he needs to always tell if he was hit.

There is no excuse for students who hit and bully to not be disciplined. In today's day and age, any physical act of violence should be disciplined with a suspension.

You must advocate for your son, or no one else will.

As for the father that threatened your son, file a police report. No adult should be verbally threatening an 8 year old. Imagine what that man might do to his own kids if he's willing to threaten another child!

Sorry you are going through this, but be strong for your son and get involved asap. A phone call or e-mail will not show that you are serious about getting things done. Go above the prinicpal to the superintendent if needed.

 

[Joyful3Heart]

You emailed the teacher?? When dd was 5 there was an older child (relative of the bus driver) who took it upon herself to "discipline" the younger kids. At one point she took my daughters backpack and threatened not to give it back, she also threatened to physically restrain her in the seat when she tried to get the backpack back. I immediately (5 minutes after she got off of the bus) called the transportation director and he said he would take care of it. He spoke with the bus driver who then parked her bus the next day (with kids on it) still running on the road in front of my house and got out and yelled at me in my driveway. Of course I was shocked...I then called the superintendent with the problem and drove my daughter to school until the problem was resolved. The superintendent was appalled and the issue was resolved to my satisfaction. The bus driver was allowed to keep the route through the end of the year but was not allowed to bring relatives along. The following year she was no longer driving our route.
The moral to the story? Just because a teacher/aide/bus driver is employed by the school doesn't mean they have your child's best interest in mind. Bullying is no longer tolerated by most schools and needs to be addressed IMMEDIATELY! Also, this is a second offense, I would go to someone in authority (principal/superintendent) TODAY, and let them know this needs to be dealt with TODAY. I would also quite possibly park myself in the office until it is addressed.
I wish you strength and wisdom in this situation, and hope for the best for your son!

 

[ajpa]

This is assault.

Take the kid to a doctor and have them document injuries. Take photos if there is any obvious injuries (bruises, cuts, swelling).

Call the Principal or head over there in person. Tell them this is unacceptable and ask what they intend to do. The answer should include the word "suspension", imo.

Also find out how to file a police report of the two incidents.

 

[okeydokey]

It's time for a sit down with the teacher, principal, guidance counselor. Ask them what they are going to do about the situation so that you don't have to bring law enforcement into it. If it continues, call the authorities and press assault charges. There is no reason for a child to beaten at school.

 

[Cadiewampus]

Sorry this has happened to your son. Yes it does start at an early age. Most schools do have some kind of "bullying" program but very few things are ever done about it. Like another poster said - it's chalked up as kids being kids. I was raised the youngest of 5 boys and was taught very early on to stand up for myself against situations like this. You would be surprised how quickly this would end if that happened. I might be the minority here but that how I was raised. I never looked for a fight or started one but I found out early on, running makes it worse.

Hopefully everything works out for your son.

JimR24 I agree with you so I guess we are both in the minority. I taught my now 16 DS the same when he was young when he was bullied. Told him not to look for trouble but if it found him he could stop it and not worry about getting in trouble from me but he might from school. I made sure I told the school this as well. Next time trouble found him he dealt with it and was never troubled by this kid again.

 

[Drusilla]

I agree with pps that said to call the police. If the school does nothing, I don't think you have any other choice.

 

[letthewookiewin]

I'm so sorry this is happening to your DS. My DS had a child that bullied him while in preschool. He hasn't seem the boy in 3 to 4 years and he still talks about it from time to time. Like others have said, I would go to the school and talk to the principal in person. Email and voice messages can get "lost", but if you show up in person, it is a lot harder to ignore.

One of the best things about my DS's school is their policy on bullying. It is not tolerated at all. They do a great job with teaching the kids on what to do if they are being bullied or see other being bullied.

Talk to the principal. If you don't like what they say, go above them. If you have to, take it all the way up to the superintendent. You are your child's champion, and no one will fight for them the way you can. Just get your mama bear claws on, and don't back down.

 

[themilesfamily]

I agree with pps that said to call the police. If the school does nothing, I don't think you have any other choice.

I agree. You need to file a police report. It doesn't sound like the boys' parents are taking this seriously -- perhaps police involvement will wake them up.

The situation will only worsen if nothing is done -- especially if the boys are being encouraged or enabled by their parents at home. It will worsen not only for your child, but for the bullies, as well. Bullies today are criminals tomorrow. Perhaps they can get themselves straightened out before they end up in jail for something they've done -- beating their wives, their kids, whatever.

 

[RMulieri]

Get law enforcement involved. I know it sounds extreme, but I believe they are starting this at my son's school. If there is bullying, the police are called. These kids need to learn that this is not acceptable as an adult, and it shouldn't be tolerated because they are "just kids".

2nd this...Bullying gets worse when unchecked..Not better.It took the police getting involved in my case( 2 girls tried to throw me out a 2nd floor girls bathroom window)

 

[NotUrsula]

JimR24 I agree with you so I guess we are both in the minority. I taught my now 16 DS the same when he was young when he was bullied. Told him not to look for trouble but if it found him he could stop it and not worry about getting in trouble from me but he might from school. I made sure I told the school this as well. Next time trouble found him he dealt with it and was never troubled by this kid again.

In principle, I very much agree with you, but in reality, that's a very difficult strategy to take these days. My son attends a private school, and the penalty for getting caught striking another student is expulsion. No second chances, and the question of who threw the first punch is totally irrelevant as far as the school is concerned.

The school's rule is that if someone hits you, you tell, but you do NOT hit back unless you want to get the same punishment that the aggressor will get. The catch, of course, is that the school cannot expel the aggressor, either, unless the person is somehow caught in the act by the administration, whether in person or on film. Bullies essentially get one free bite.

DS is not willing to risk expulsion, so he won't fight back.

 

[eeyoremum]

Get law enforcement involved. I know it sounds extreme, but I believe they are starting this at my son's school. If there is bullying, the police are called. These kids need to learn that this is not acceptable as an adult, and it shouldn't be tolerated because they are "just kids".

I agree, call the police.

My son was bullied for 3 years and we played the schools game of suspensions that did nothing. The principle was ineffective, so was the school board, the school trustee and my local governement official. Which is all the steps you need to take before you call the police in my area. Bulling is something they don't want to handle. Nobody does it seems it is the "dirty little secret of the school system" Zero tolerance my A$$.

I called the police last year and the boy stopped for a bit. I called the police this year again and now EVERY child in that school knows that "child"'s parents will call the police on them if they even look at "child" the wrong way.

We live in a very small town so we are considered something that can't be said on the DIS but I don't care. It is my job to protect my son and if the school can't do it I will take whatever actions necessary to do it.

 

[ma2jr]

I would call the police and press charges. Assault is assault... I'm sure the police will speak to everyone involved (parents, principal)

 

[Doc CW]

Sorry this has happened to your son. Yes it does start at an early age. Most schools do have some kind of "bullying" program but very few things are ever done about it. Like another poster said - it's chalked up as kids being kids. I was raised the youngest of 5 boys and was taught very early on to stand up for myself against situations like this. You would be surprised how quickly this would end if that happened. I might be the minority here but that how I was raised. I never looked for a fight or started one but I found out early on, running makes it worse.

Hopefully everything works out for your son.

I agree 100%. I was raised that if you dont want to be messed with you stand up for yourself and dont run cause that makes things worse. My brother was a loudmouth growing up and got me in several altercations in which we were outnumbered and we stood and fought no matter the numbers and people eventually stopped messing with us becasue we would stand and fight back with disregard to who the person was and how many of them there was. I believe personally that you fight no matter how many people there are, no matter how much bigger they are than you, you fight. I never went looking for trouble, but if it found me I wasnt running away. Its like Mufasa's philosophy to Simba in Lion King "I am only brave when I have to be, being brave doesnt mean you go looking for trouble." In these cases I wouldnt ask to fight, but if they were giving no other resolution then I would. In most situations if you decide that you are going to fight back the initiating or bullying party will back off because they really dont want to fight they want to pick on someone who wont fight back out of fear or whatever.