Sometimes you just wanna smack 'em

[Al and Kate's Mom]

Okay - before the flames heat up - DISCLAIMER*** - I would NEVER really smack a kid***

My DD8 has recently discovered and perfected the use of the eye roll - and exhibits her mastery pretty much anytime I say anything to her. It is MADDENING!!! She's really a sweet girl and tickles me to no end with some of her musings on life, but DEAR LORD - when she rolls her eyes at me, it just makes me

Anyone else dealing with this or have advice from past experience???

 

[Handbag Lady]

All it takes is one smack and then they stop.


Seriously, why does she think this is okay to do? It is very disrespectful.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I wouldn't smack it out of them (trust me!).

But there can be fines--lose 10cents of your allowance (or comparable amount to be felt) for every eye roll...lose tv time...whatever. There can be choices--You can choose to be pleasant and respectful or rude and disrespectful. The "reward" for being pleasant is participating in things she likes. The "reward" for choosing disrespect is the fine--or extra chores or whatever.

When she realizes that you will not empower her for her smart-butt attitude, she will tone it down. If she sees it frustrates you and you don't know what to do and do nothing--she wins. My counselor recommended a book called Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. Lots of good information in there. It seems very counterintuitive to parenting sometimes--but all kids want a choice and to not feel like they live in a dictatorship.

The eyeroll and other attitude is a response to you to let you know that you cannot control their feelings.

We are working other attitude issues and this is what has worked for us. The fines is fairly recent. We even fine for sibling arguments.

 

[amsyw]

If I had a dime for every eye roll I've ever gotten my house would be paid off!

No advice, but hugs!

As my mom likes to tell me.... "just wait it only gets worse" - coming from a woman who raised 3 kids!

I have a DS 13 and a DSD 13 and a DS 4 going on 13. I get all kinds of rolled eyes! And yes I have thought about smacking them on more than one occasion!!!!

One thing I do have to say is that my boys are respectful, well-behaved boys MOST of the time. They just think they know more than their parents do.

(I don't raise DSD and she is rarely at our home so I didn't include her in that statement on purpose - She isn't very respectful to me or DH but I don't know how she is outside our home.)

Good luck to you!

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Oh I know what you mean about the eye rolling!!!!

I was watching my cousins 2 adorable little ones for 2 weeks while they moved into their new house from another state. I was with them all day and it was great. They are 6 and 3. The 6 year old boy, is great and very smart HOWEVER, he rolls his eyes for EVERYTHING!

At first it made me laugh but then it just got downright rude. I mean he is 6 for goodness sake!!

His Mom and Dad tried to get him out of it and now that he has started school , he started to do it to the teacher.....needless to say they have grounded him not harshly but taken toys away or he can't go outside after school. We'll see if that works.

Good Luck to you!

 

[Jennasis]

Iwould have had the eyes slapped out of my head if I ever rolled an eye at my parents (so nI did it when their backs were turned!!). Maddening for sure, but eventuallly they'll grow out of it. What if you start rolling your eyes at her all the time? Reverse psychology and all.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think having teenagers I do more eye rolling than they do. Oh and plus the use of whatever.

They probably want to smack me...

Or you could employ my deadly weapon. HUGS, yes, hugs. Every eyeroll gets a "free hug".

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I would eye roll right back, and see if she stops. If not, I would have a discussion about how it is disrespectful. My mom never tolerated it, and I didn't roll my eyes. She took away privileges, etc. and you can even go with the guilt "It hurts my feelings when you roll your eyes at me. I am respectful to you, and I do not appreciate it when you roll your eyes at me. Why are you rolling your eyes?"

 

[EMom]

Get a water bottle and spritz her like a cat.

 

[minkydog]

When she realizes that you will not empower her for her smart-butt attitude, she will tone it down.
If she sees it frustrates you and you don't know what to do and do nothing--she wins.
The eyeroll and other attitude is a response to you to let you know that you cannot control their feelings.

I agree. Each of our kids tried that eye-rolling bit with us. We nipped it in the bud right away by first telling them that it is disrespectful and that we would not tolerate disrespect in any form including eye-rolling. We informed them of the consequences and when they "forgot" and rolled their eyes anyway,justice was swift and sure. We only had to do it a few times with each kid before they learned that they can think what they want, but they cannot be disrespectful to an adult. Consistency is the thing--address it each and every time she does it. If it continues, you have not found the punishment that is painful enough to her that she wants to stop rolling eyes. I don't mean physical punishment. You have to figure out what is THE thing, her passion, her heart's desire, then zero in on that. For one of my kids the worst possible punishment was NO PIANO. Really. That would have been a bonus when I was a kid.

 

[KAMKIM]

Get a water bottle and spritz her like a cat.

 

[JimFitz]

get a water bottle and spritz her like a cat.

+1

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

My niece(15) is a world class eye roller and has been since she was about 8. She's also a door slammer, foot stomper, and swears like a sailor on leave....but I only have to deal with the lovely on holidays. DD9 tells everyone that if she ever acted like that she wouldn't live long enough to apologize. Now keep in mind that my child has never been disciplined more than an extremely rare swat on the hiney...but as long as she thinks I'll knock her block off I'm not going to correct her.

 

[720L]

Get a water bottle and spritz her like a cat.

 

[denisem]

Get a water bottle and spritz her like a cat.

Now THAT'S funny!

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

Get a water bottle and spritz her like a cat.

thanks, EM, I needed that. I may bring up that visual when one of my kids at school gets out of line

 

[Pigeon]

Get a water bottle and spritz her like a cat.

But she might just like it. I had a cat who did. When you'd go to spritz him, he'd turn his face up to you and squint.

I just give the eyerolls an amused little chuckle, and tell them if they do it much harder it might give them whiplash. It sucks all the joy out of the experience for them, so they stop pretty quickly.

 

[paintnolish]

Ugh. Try the eye roll combined with that sigh/ah sound with attitude after every other word. Momuhhh....whyuhhh? I want to get the Hannah Montanna shirtuhhh!

 

[Sonya]

Get a water bottle and spritz her like a cat.

I am so glad I wasn't drinking anything! Your post truly made me LOL!

BTW- DH already wants to do this with the 2 year olds when they are climbing on something.

 

[cinmell]

Ugh. Try the eye roll combined with that sigh/ah sound with attitude after every other word. Momuhhh....whyuhhh? I want to get the Hannah Montanna shirtuhhh!

Oh Lord, I hate that Uhhhh at the end of words. No-uhhh, yesu-hhh, stop-uhhhh. I don't know where the uhhhh at the end of words started but it needs to end. The foot stomping, door slamming needs to end as well. I don't know where it came from but it's gotten old really fast!!