Sometimes I just want to scream when people are "begging for money"

[clh2]

The history - several years ago, my cousin's wife recovered from non-Hodkins Lymphoma (I hope I got that right). After her recovery, she ended up running a marathon in Hawaii, and was soliciting dontations for the organization that does the research for the lymphoma. We donated something for that cause.

Since that time, this cousin and his wife have each solicited funds for several "missionary" types of projects, NYC, Mexico. We've not contributed to these additional opportunities.

My DH and I prefer to donate monies to the causes we are passionate about. Sorry - we may not donate to the causes someone else is passionate about.

Yep - we got another "begging for money" letter today. It just makes me want to scream.

OK - I'm done venting now!

 

[Free4Life11]

No one's forcing you to give. "Begging for money" as you put it is the only way a lot of these projects happen. I do think that some charities send out letters too often -- more than once a month is too much, except for special cases, but it's hardly anything to get worked up over.

ETA -- if they tried to "guilt" you into giving, then I would understand being frustarated.

 

[DVC Sadie]

The history - several years ago, my cousin's wife recovered from non-Hodkins Lymphoma (I hope I got that right). After her recovery, she ended up running a marathon in Hawaii, and was soliciting dontations for the organization that does the research for the lymphoma. We donated something for that cause.

Since that time, this cousin and his wife have each solicited funds for several "missionary" types of projects, NYC, Mexico. We've not contributed to these additional opportunities.

My DH and I prefer to donate monies to the causes we are passionate about. Sorry - we may not donate to the causes someone else is passionate about.

Yep - we got another "begging for money" letter today. It just makes me want to scream.

OK - I'm done venting now!

We had neighbors in Maryland that always asked for money via in person or by letter and after donating several times to their causes we asked for a donation for one of our causes. Not only did they not donate anything but didn't even respond. Needless to say after that we never heard from them again.

 

[In a hurry]

We get several of these types of letters a year. I just don't respond to the ones I am not willing to support. That isn't to say that we never support them. One young lady I know is spending her summer working with orphans of aids in Botswana. Even though I don't support her religion, I totally support that cause.

 

[SillyMe]

After years of fundraising experience, I think letters are actually the best way to do it. If you don't want to donate, you throw the letter away, end of story. If they ask you face to face to donate, it makes most people feel guilty for saying no. If I were you, I would be be glad they sent a letter rather than put you on the spot by asking you face to face.

 

[Bob Slydell]

The history - several years ago, my cousin's wife recovered from non-Hodkins Lymphoma (I hope I got that right).

Since you asked, it's Hodgkin's, with a 'g'.

 

[nliedel]

I do the Mother's Walk every year and end up doing almost all the donations myself. Why? Because I was berated by a family member a couple years ago for sending an e-mail asking for a donation. It was humiliating and I was made to feel like a horrible person. His comment: "Just because you can't hang onto a baby for nine months doesn't mean I have to give anyone money" this said, in a loud tone of voice, at a fmily reunion. I was in tears. My letter was not begging or pleading just stated the facts as suggested by the sposnoring organization.

I did not mean to hurt anyone in anyway. I just wanted to help fight the causes of Prematurity. A simple, "No thank you" would have taken him off the list for life. It's just not worth people's overreactions.

 

[In a hurry]

Some people are so horrid! I hope you don't have a lot of contact with that person!

 

[nliedel]

I see him a lot actually. I just smile and pretend it didn't happen. He is my husbands relative so I have to play nice for Gene's sake.

 

[VSL]

I do the Mother's Walk every year and end up doing almost all the donations myself. Why? Because I was berated by a family member a couple years ago for sending an e-mail asking for a donation. It was humiliating and I was made to feel like a horrible person. His comment: "Just because you can't hang onto a baby for nine months doesn't mean I have to give anyone money" this said, in a loud tone of voice, at a fmily reunion. I was in tears.

I would have done a lot more than cry - I would have decked him!

I don't mind being asked for donations for a charitable cause - I can't give to them all, but they can still ask me. It's when they get angry that I don't have any money to give (I am a student!!) that I get upset. Especially the chuggers who expect you to give them your credit/debit card details (my BF told one of them that he would consider doing it later, online, over a secure connection, and the woman started kicking up a fuss - needless to say, that meant no money from Jay).

 

[pta-mom]

I do the Mother's Walk every year and end up doing almost all the donations myself. Why? Because I was berated by a family member a couple years ago for sending an e-mail asking for a donation. It was humiliating and I was made to feel like a horrible person. His comment: "Just because you can't hang onto a baby for nine months doesn't mean I have to give anyone money" this said, in a loud tone of voice, at a fmily reunion. I was in tears. My letter was not begging or pleading just stated the facts as suggested by the sposnoring organization.

I did not mean to hurt anyone in anyway. I just wanted to help fight the causes of Prematurity. A simple, "No thank you" would have taken him off the list for life. It's just not worth people's overreactions.

That's terrible!! You poor thing! Sometimes people are so rude!

We, my DH and I, give away a lot of money each year to different charities. We feel it is an honor to do so and feel very blessed to be able to. However, we maintain certain yearly commitments such as our church and foster children, and above that, we decide at the beginning of the year what other charities we will give too. Other than those, we typically say no, unless it is a close friend asking.

Also, I do fundraising for various causes and have no problem asking for donations from sponsors, ever! But, I also have no problem if they say no....no problem!

 

[Robinrs]

I do the Mother's Walk every year and end up doing almost all the donations myself. Why? Because I was berated by a family member a couple years ago for sending an e-mail asking for a donation. It was humiliating and I was made to feel like a horrible person. His comment: "Just because you can't hang onto a baby for nine months doesn't mean I have to give anyone money" this said, in a loud tone of voice, at a fmily reunion. I was in tears. My letter was not begging or pleading just stated the facts as suggested by the sposnoring organization.

I did not mean to hurt anyone in anyway. I just wanted to help fight the causes of Prematurity. A simple, "No thank you" would have taken him off the list for life. It's just not worth people's overreactions.

That had to be the most disgusting, rude, ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You had no reason to cry, you should pity a fool like that. I'm sure anyone within earshot was just as disgusted....

My sister also gets ticked at people asking for donations... I don't see why? Donations are sometimes the only source of income for some charities and they have to solicit them somehow. Maybe the fact that you feel obligated? You shouldn't.

Advertising(my job) is a form of "begging for money"... it's a fact of life. You don't have to buy everything you see on an ad nor do you have to send money to every charity.

 

[diskids2]

I would have done a lot more than cry - I would have decked him!

Oh I would have decked him too..........The nerve..I'm sitting here at work and I'm totally mad......


You know what.....that person is just rude and obnoxious. And you are a STAR!

 

[RUDisney]

The only time we hear from one of my Dad's sisters is when she or her DD is looking for money for their religious beliefs. I got a card from my cousin for Christmas last year. While I was interested in learning about her cult's activities, I have no interest in helping its cause. In fact, many of her facts were inaccurate in her letter... helping to confirm my decision to not give her anything.

So, bottom line is this... if a family member is asking me for money, it better be a member who has contact with me at times other than to simply beg to me for money. We give to DH's cousin's autism school in Princeton, NJ because, although we don't see her often enough, she is a member of our family all year and not just when the school wants research money. My cousin, OTOH, and my aunt, only know us when they want money. They're not getting any...