Something Madonna Said on the Oprah Show

[Jodi1980]

that she believes...

We are responsible for everything that happens to us and we have to take responsibility for everything that happens to us. For example, good things happen, we win an award, we win a basketball game, we get a promotion and we take ownership for that, we say, I did that, I attracted that, that’s because it’s me.

But then bad things happen to us, an illness, we get fired, and we are divorced from that, we are disconnected from that. We don’t take responsibility for it, that is just something that happened to us, and that’s absurd. We need to take responsibility for everything and understand that we can draw either positive or we can draw negative.

What do you Think?

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I believe in controlling your own destiny to a certain extent. It's good to take responsibilty for your life as much as you can. Some things can't be controlled, but you can control how you react to them.


Have a nice night!

 

[KarenC]

Mostly I agree that we make our own luck. Sometimes bad things happen to good people through no fault of their own, but overall I think the message to take responsibility for our lives is right on.

 

[noel]

I disagree with Madonna.
I am not afraid to take responsibility for my actions whether they have a positive or negative impact on myself or other people.

But I don't agree that I am personally responsible for things that happen to me - or at least all of them to some extent. Having been told that there is less than a 1% chance for DH and I to concieve a child together, I cannot see how I am responsible for this when I am a healthy 31 year old woman and I was told this at age 25.

I think often times it's easy for celebs to spout off their philosophies without really thinking about how their life is so incredibly different from 99% of the rest of the world's population.
I'm not saying those of you who agree with Madonna are out of touch or never have experienced anything bad in your life, because we all have, including Madonna. I'm simply not understanding how things that we as mere humans can be responsible for like diseases or other personal tragedies when they happen to us.

I guess I just believe that God is responsible for everything that happens to me - my life is in his hands whether I like what he's doing with it or not, and I'm usually the last one around here to thow around talk about Jesus!

 

[Minnesota!]

I don't quite know what I think. But, I wanted to go off topic here and post to Noel.

My dear friend was told that she and DH had under a 3% chance of ever conceving - she has PCOS, he had male issues, they just didn't jive. Well, she now has a 6 month old. And this baby was conceived WITHOUT medical intervention. Have faith dear..

 

[noel]

Thanks Minnesota! Your friend sounds a lot like DH and I, so it's always great to hear about other people's miracles.

 

[Blondie]

I think often times it's easy for celebs to spout off their philosophies without really thinking about how their life is so incredibly different from 99% of the rest of the world's population.

Bingo!

 

[Disney Ella]

Winning an award or getting a promotion takes effort and work on your part; getting sick does not. If you are laid off because your company has financial problems, you (unless you are the CEO) had nothing to do with that. When you have a lot of money, you don't have to worry about how you're going to pay this bill or that bill, and you can devote your time between movies to thinking about the meaning of life and "finding your spirit" and all that stuff.

 

[Melora]

We all have belief systems that we live by.

I believe that there are reasons for everything that happens to us and on some level I am responsible. (Both good and bad).

If someone has the belief system that they have no control over situations, that life (mostly the bad stuff) just happens to them and they have no control or responsibility, it follows then that their life does just happen to them without their control or responsibility, therefore making the premise that you are in control of your life (by choosing to be out-of-control) true.

 

[luv2nascar]

I guess she feels that way because she is so fortunate able to have all kinds of money, fame, kids, etc
tell that bunch of bull to some poor kid born into poverty, or abuse victim. It's your fault. Bull crap.
Only someone is is very blessed would feel that way. Things happen to us that are completely out of our control sometimes.
I do believe God allows things to happen to us for a reason we may not always understand the reason but I believe there is a reason.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Good point, luv!

You know if I lived as well as she or Oprah for that matter I might adopt that philosophy, heh?

 

[goofygirl]

I agree with Madonna.

Sometimes people ARE responsible for the illnesses they get- for example, if they live recklessly and later find out they have HIV due to unprotected sex or sharing needles, they are responsible for that. A smoker who smokes packs upon packs for years and gets lung cancer is repsonsible for that illness as well.

Sure, bad things happen to people who have NOT been reckless, but then they have the responsiblity to move on with their lives. If you have been abused, pick yourself up and move on! Stop playing the "victim card" and stop expecting everybody to feel sorry for you! Same if you have been told you can't conceive. Do something positive- like adopt, and stop playing the victim card. Move on! This is where the responsibility comes in where negative things happen. The physical act/illness may not be your fault, but what you do after the fact is totally up to you.

 

[DocRafiki]

I stopped watching Oprah when she said something similar. It was a show on Karma, and she went so far as to say that everything that happens to you is, well, karma. Even things like having diseases, getting hit by a truck, etc. I started to wonder if she had a mind of her own since she's always talking about quite the opposite. And, being a 10+ year sufferer of major depression, I found it offensive.

Not that there isn't some truth to Madonna's statement. I think Americans in general don't take enough responsibility for the bad. I see that every day. I'm one of those people who tends to blame everything on myself, so I just don't understand how people can be so blind.

 

[noel]

Stop playing the "victim card" and stop expecting everybody to feel sorry for you! Same if you have been told you can't conceive. Do something positive- like adopt, and stop playing the victim card. Move on! This is where the responsibility comes in where negative things happen.

When the hell was I playing the victim card or asking anyone for sympathy? Did I say my life is ruined or in shambles because of my infertility? NO - I was giving an example of a situation in my life that shows why I disagree with Madonna's statement.

I'm thinking that maybe you were abused or have suffered some sort of other unthinkable tradedy (I sincerely hope not) that you are so quick to tell everyone "got over it". If you have and have turned a bad situation into something positive, then super duper for you.

If you haven't, then I really can't say where you would get off making such a statement - I suppose we're all entitled to our own opinions.

Unforunately not everyone has the strength, support, resources, money and/or faith to help them get over even the smallest issues that are bothering them. And even for the people who do, it still may not be enough for them to overcome what's happened to them.

As for me you have no clue of what my life is like or what I've done to cope and find the good in my situation, so to make a statment like "do something posive - like adopt" is one of the most freaking ignorant statements I've ever heard.

And now I must crawl back into my pathetic little hole and get back to feeling sorry for myself....

 

[ez]

but I do think that some people think that nothing is their fault. If they get fired, they were the perfect employee who got a raw deal, if they get sick, they don't consider that smoking, drinking, staying up all night might play a part in it. I think part of life is learning from our mistakes. But to do that, you have to aknowledge that you've made one. Maybe I'm getting off topic here, but could that have been what Madonna was getting at? Not that I'm siding with her, mind you. I get a little burned out on celebs, removed from reality, telling us how to live our lives. Oh, and I love when these celebs finally have a baby, and go on and on about every detail of motherhood, like they're the only ones who have ever been thru it. PULLEEEZE!!!

 

[Tuffcookie]

Maybe a more realistic viewpoint would be: We are NOT responsible for everything that happens to us. BUT, when something does happen to us, be it good or bad, we ARE responsible for how we react to the situation.

TC

 

[Minnesota!]

gg - I think what you said is the most insensitive, ignorant thing I have heard in a long time. Unless you have been through infertility or abuse or living with a preventable disease, you have NO idea the pain that is caused. Adoption is wonderful. However, it is NOT for everyone. Yes, HIV can be prevented by choices you make, HOWEVER, in some instances it cannot be (tranfusions, etc.) I know you never want kids, so you will never have to suffer if you are infertile, or have other pregnancy problems, but you should not make those kind of statements unless you have walked in those shoes.

If you have been through these things, and are making these statements, I apologize. But, given your stance on children, I highly doubt you have ever cried because the dr. said you had a less than 1% chance of conceiving. I doubt that you have laid on an ultrasound table and have been told that your miracle baby's heart was no longer beating. Before you tell us we need to "GET OVER IT'", maybe you should remember that not EVERYONE wants to be child-free, and the loss of a child, or the loss of a dream is not just something you GET OVER.

I am sorry if this is really rude, and that is not usually me. But, you really hit a nerve.

 

[snoopy]

I don't know, GG, you seem to be doing a pretty good job of playing the "childless by choice (I'm so smart and parents are stupid)" card.

Noel, I'll be the first to jump in and say I am sorry you and your husband have suffered the heartbreak of infertility. I know I would have been devastated if this had of happened to DH and I, and its NOT someting you just "get over". Miracles do happen though, as Minnesota said, so I am going to keep you in my prayers.

As far as karma and Madonna, I believe what others have already mentioned. 1) Celebrities cannot in anyway relate to "real" people and "real" people should look to other "real" people as role models rather than celebrities, and 2) its how you react to life's ups and downs that really decides your fate.

 

[goodstarr]

Snoopy, I find fault with your statement that celebrities can't in any way relate to "real" people. Celebrities are "real" people (living, breathing, sleeping, shopping, pooping, stealing, cheating, working, dying), albeit with jobs that earn them much more than the average Joe. Their success warrants them certain perks just like a wealthy businessperson (except nobody feels that they have the right to know who the president of Chase Manhattan is sleeping with just because they pay his/her enormous salary). That said, why can't celebrities voice their opinions just like you and I just voiced ours? Celebrities pay taxes (and cheat on them just like "real" people). They even vote just like "real" people! If society chooses to model themselves after a celebrity, then I believe that is the "real" person's problem, not the celebrity's. But then again, this is a thread concerning people not taking responsibility for their own actions, right?

 

[snoopy]

Well, of course I understand that celebrities are real. I didn't think they were plastic or anything. I put quotes around real because I meant to indicate that their lives are so vastly different than mine in that they have so many luxuries afforded them, that they can't possibly relate to my life.

While I absolutely agree that Madonna and other celebrities have a right to their opinion, I stand by my original statement -- their lifestyle has very little similarities to the average Joe on the street and therefore their opinions and advice should be taken with a grain of salt.