i have really been wanting to talk to someone about this for a while.
Last year in august one of my best friends father took his own life. The worst part about this? I found out from one of my friends in choir. Here is how
that conversation went.
Me: I miss Sarah (My friend, she had moved about a year ago to another school)
Taylor(Another friend): Me to, *sigh*
Melissa(Other friend): Wait is her last name *not going to say it*
Me and Taylor: Yeah
Melissa: I found his name in the newspaper yesterday
Taylor: really? for what?
Melissa: It said...they found him...dead. In his home..
My heart dropped. It sersiously just felt like i was falling. So that night i got on my local newspapers web sight and saw that it was in fact her dad. Do you know what it feels like to find out that one of your best friends was found dead? And worst, from someone who bearly knows the person?
Well it was horrible. (At the time I didn't know how he had passed away,) I cried i will admit that. But when i told my parents about it, a whole new world opened. A bad one.
My mother had been telling me for 13 years my grandpa was suffocated in a car becacause the door was stuck, truth was, he took his life to. For
13 years she kept that from me. I was truly in a state of depression. Yes. I thought about cutting myself. But i could never put myself to do it, i mean i freak out if i get scratched by my cat! So i could really never hurt my self to such a horrible degree. But i think i may have hurt myself mentaly because my parents noticed after that i became alot more..well conserned about everything, then i began to defend everything.
But to let me sum this up, my friend taylor called sarah to talk to her about it. And I am glad she did because i would have never knowen that sarashs father had tried to 'take his life' before infront of her. Right in front of her!
A few months after that my friend Taylor began cutting herslef again. She stopped for a week or so but then she came to school with a very short shirt on (sleeved, not like that you guys!) i saw her arms. It was....so..disturbing a person could DO THAT to themselfs. I counted them, they were not very deep. But there were
77 of them. She spent all most two weeks at a mential instutution.
I really needed to tell someone that. If you read this all, i truly thank you for taking the time to. And I hope you never have to cope with such things as i have said, and i hope I will never cross roads with that agin. (By the way, incase your wondering, she stopped, once she relized that doing that was just plain stupid.)
And that's not even half of it, i wish i could put everything down, but i really, just don't think i could..
